惡名之下
——————————————
致不想回想起的記憶
————————————
343Please respect copyright.PENANADErLu1Bwpd
343Please respect copyright.PENANAaCkUfPR39K
我不是那種「一般」的孩子343Please respect copyright.PENANAXbTp8KAqZ0
343Please respect copyright.PENANAIvOE0kfvTQ
但特殊得來,又不叫人驕傲的特別343Please respect copyright.PENANAbHsS3vZxze
343Please respect copyright.PENANACxPWo3PEE1
343Please respect copyright.PENANAqKktJGjixM
童年、成長、至今,我深知自己和其他人的不同,正因如此,我也因為這份特殊與我該在的地方、該有的身分道出分離宣言
343Please respect copyright.PENANAWFc8gDkBdl
343Please respect copyright.PENANAJVfLCzrv7T
不是我害怕343Please respect copyright.PENANABYrVW2Ae1u
343Please respect copyright.PENANAwLfJMyBN0s
是害怕自身
343Please respect copyright.PENANAYZugxCRBY7
343Please respect copyright.PENANALBPAySzzXf
世界很奇怪,只是不一樣的,所謂之「特別」,往往引人恐懼,危險的出現343Please respect copyright.PENANAnsXPeFKzFa
343Please respect copyright.PENANA1FnR1vsBry
因為不同,意味改變343Please respect copyright.PENANAeVRSTmmBow
343Please respect copyright.PENANA2vqkFCBjVD
縱然沒人希望遇上困難,但又想克服,就只能待困難自己解決、或是自身忽然學懂如何去使吹灰之力的程度343Please respect copyright.PENANAJqrZz2SIDt
343Please respect copyright.PENANAPoQWoU50sA
卻現實中,是沒有可能發生此種事,萬物不由己生,正如沒有不勞而獲,其之獲的勞,純粹不是由自己付出而已343Please respect copyright.PENANAd7P9XBoNJf
343Please respect copyright.PENANAmzGvupNeCz
這道理343Please respect copyright.PENANARZ3VABeIIv
343Please respect copyright.PENANAszLTAJJBo4
我是明白的343Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5ZyGXWuYh
343Please respect copyright.PENANAnxBz3miexn
但又現實中,我做不了什麼,我無法展現自己在這方面的認知343Please respect copyright.PENANAtfiItxCfz6
343Please respect copyright.PENANA6otMWEz0U6
343Please respect copyright.PENANALrpw5z4a5h
343Please respect copyright.PENANAGTAjPW6rUD
343Please respect copyright.PENANAC9CmznxCml
—— 啪喇 ——343Please respect copyright.PENANAfaCL8kme1N
343Please respect copyright.PENANAcd70vy404c
「廢物!」343Please respect copyright.PENANAUaOjCKMdcy
「您是吃撐沒事幹嗎?!」343Please respect copyright.PENANAY42QZr6fzR
343Please respect copyright.PENANAiyifqIhHP2
見玻璃零碎散落,深紅沾在純黑的地毯,清脆響亮的聲響堪比硫磺一發,暗中的深紅滿滲若如蚊餐一地,儘管而言並非直對此方,隱約可見利片刺中了自己343Please respect copyright.PENANAWDZVIW7nhF
343Please respect copyright.PENANAGGKILqxr03
「現在有毛有翼曉升天了,作反了哦?!」343Please respect copyright.PENANAmCZS0cT4Hi
「您究竟是不是真的弱智哦?!」343Please respect copyright.PENANAaVeTlZ772j
343Please respect copyright.PENANAGhBYUng86l
「麻煩製造者⋯您可真是⋯⋯可不可以有點自知之名?」343Please respect copyright.PENANAYgvFNQ0oR8
「該死⋯」343Please respect copyright.PENANAwgT8qNeci5
343Please respect copyright.PENANAn4B3SmhnMS
343Please respect copyright.PENANAql7WOgRI8D
343Please respect copyright.PENANATFvIPiDU50
使力擦著額,短棕髮的她伸手到黑木桌子,「咻」一聲扯開櫃門,反手便伸入其中,撥開文具,翻走書本,往當中內最深處伸去343Please respect copyright.PENANAseARHI7lWq
343Please respect copyright.PENANA7OKMfRFvOq
數聲粗魯的物品碰撞,還有其後那響亮至耳窒的拍門,女性在視野外掏出一白中漂黃的東西
343Please respect copyright.PENANA4mbbmguT5C
343Please respect copyright.PENANAlgh0obPbJL
象牙製煙斗
343Please respect copyright.PENANA5BiwmUgbyz
343Please respect copyright.PENANAiy9rplqXyS
勾在嘴裏,同時從胸前口袋中拿出小圓盒,像口紅的造型,倒是金屬製,畢竟說到底才非打份用343Please respect copyright.PENANAuk4Nfdr3T7
343Please respect copyright.PENANAK4QXssx9HB
熟練地扭開蓋鎖,拇指彈上開蓋,倒轉在煙斗的填裝位,一滴343Please respect copyright.PENANA9te9HfYBrs
343Please respect copyright.PENANAlkiXmH9gfs
「⋯呼⋯⋯」343Please respect copyright.PENANAbdIZ9dleVI
343Please respect copyright.PENANAWzuJqnp1hC
雜草味,燒靑草的氣味,少許攻鼻,但並不濃,再者也未到刺激的程度,單純是蠻有葉綠味而已,連漂出來的白煙也幾乎不存在,室內散佈最強烈的,唯有植物的味道
343Please respect copyright.PENANAHOkenVvInE
343Please respect copyright.PENANAhcIEkSysBe
背對自己,她抽著煙斗,看往窗外
343Please respect copyright.PENANAiWdW4yipN9
343Please respect copyright.PENANA4upXE2a3yM
不是特別高樓層,當然整座大廈也是己業前提,地方必是自己選址選樓層
343Please respect copyright.PENANANtGMJUzRVi
343Please respect copyright.PENANA43ln7sCYyR
若是較高的位置,是可以看到海景,朝向東邊的海藍天,以及遠方一帶沿海的密集,高樓大廈又有,不起眼的小方塊亦有,熊本縣的各沿海城市,整個一起,掃望而入眼內343Please respect copyright.PENANATJymIWnCHz
343Please respect copyright.PENANAnsvdVsAAMv
343Please respect copyright.PENANAN6tbHjB5Sr
但她不同,她的選擇往往比任何⋯一般人,自己所想的奇怪,然而又有其論點,要說的話,就是她擁有著不同自己,過於複雜而與別不同的想法343Please respect copyright.PENANA843Itgx6hE
343Please respect copyright.PENANAj4e81JtdET
343Please respect copyright.PENANAGAHZoypxnu
343Please respect copyright.PENANAKvKHhDAAAP
作風不一,思考的模式不一樣
343Please respect copyright.PENANACZfTZ6PFMe
343Please respect copyright.PENANAcBkD3L7sAz
就好比她不打算把辦公室置於上面,而是這兒,這層,剛好不高於窗戶所面向,商店街的頂蓋,的一層
343Please respect copyright.PENANAVxcKmH7UHw
343Please respect copyright.PENANAWQgrIueXzl
看到車站、酒吧街街頭、商場門口,各種
343Please respect copyright.PENANAigTP4IA2VB
343Please respect copyright.PENANARbpKBzKBT9
因為她要真正的「全景」
343Please respect copyright.PENANAhdZtOdIB95
343Please respect copyright.PENANA85SCcn2Y6y
我真的搞不清楚,嘛,無法理解
343Please respect copyright.PENANAbgfCx4Ut9R
343Please respect copyright.PENANAPB70sKQ9pv
好比她究竟是怎樣看待自己一樣
343Please respect copyright.PENANAi668eNAxQy
343Please respect copyright.PENANAfwlrzz6gDK
我知道,我也明白自己現在可是搞出大麻煩了,不但引起了刑警的注意,還有引致本地一眾不良、暴走族的騷動,現在回望,嘛,還真是想也想不到自己有這麼的能力343Please respect copyright.PENANAlH1CFOPksC
343Please respect copyright.PENANANSkB5XOv4K
343Please respect copyright.PENANAfFLzz0swT7
抑或說,是我一直以來,低估了老姐她的聲譽及影響力343Please respect copyright.PENANAofcyyI84n7
343Please respect copyright.PENANAsIbzUeXVJu
343Please respect copyright.PENANAniBxMoSzYm
山松組的力量343Please respect copyright.PENANAJ3ZUvsbINw
343Please respect copyright.PENANAcPDmZFCiaR
「您到底⋯什麼時候才會學乖呀?混帳⋯」343Please respect copyright.PENANA3DEGIzmHpk
343Please respect copyright.PENANAtg5EbohvXm
回神過來,她已經坐了在那辦工椅上,左腳放右腳膝頭,口中濃吐淡煙,即使口氣稍安定,放大的瞳孔凶剎不爾343Please respect copyright.PENANA4yyy1DbOqs
343Please respect copyright.PENANAIthqIJibHg
她是我的姐姐343Please respect copyright.PENANA1jBx6iCZZC
343Please respect copyright.PENANAlVMRDtaclE
山松組的老大343Please respect copyright.PENANASfdibUiJ6f
343Please respect copyright.PENANAqZtr1bo5YR
大和英加343Please respect copyright.PENANAhRZzE5EoDl
343Please respect copyright.PENANA7SOryEo5WS
「說話啊」343Please respect copyright.PENANAoEKo1HlSte
343Please respect copyright.PENANAycrA2NXmVJ
央百花343Please respect copyright.PENANArNfD9J4sez
343Please respect copyright.PENANAM0vfw9aiaN
343Please respect copyright.PENANAojQMd2RO0G
我努力地站在原處,就這樣一聲不吭,但是視線一交上,就看不了更多,看不到,尋找不到視線可聚落之處,可是呢,她可還生氣著,直對自己343Please respect copyright.PENANAtidriTZ0j4
343Please respect copyright.PENANA2Pk2tCg85Y
「⋯我可不會當你啞的」
343Please respect copyright.PENANAqcT7hrRF71
「⋯⋯你要是不說話⋯那好⋯⋯好⋯」
343Please respect copyright.PENANASd9fcKc7WR
「就讓我倆在這,一直⋯一直在這」
343Please respect copyright.PENANA82eXXBsKFF
「在這一起浪費時間,反正⋯ 我 · 很 · 閒 」343Please respect copyright.PENANARaaa9vqr97
343Please respect copyright.PENANASQso0Z5GFM
343Please respect copyright.PENANABaw6g794cn
「⋯⋯」343Please respect copyright.PENANAr5QKHBWjWD
343Please respect copyright.PENANAEtfMFnPR3G
呼吸聲由緊縫的唇瓣洩出,曾有再多的話,希望反駁、說理,又說不出,不在她面前343Please respect copyright.PENANAhlPnM1OEel
343Please respect copyright.PENANAfE4RDHyAcm
343Please respect copyright.PENANAOzIjsQRqXS
我不只是害怕,畢竟目前為止,一生中最敬重,亦最不喜歡的,也是她,我的姐姐343Please respect copyright.PENANAf1vMkAzsts
343Please respect copyright.PENANA4dVQhbCtHr
她為我做了很多,太多,甚至我了解,自己所認知的,只是整幅拼圖的一小塊343Please respect copyright.PENANAnBFpxJlRN8
343Please respect copyright.PENANA7dVLWOv1dM
理應我該做好自己就好了,對她來說是最好了343Please respect copyright.PENANAnTIrvpXQwN
343Please respect copyright.PENANAzGNVq3JskH
所以說,我到底做了什麼?343Please respect copyright.PENANAssZmqn8WCX
343Please respect copyright.PENANA3x2lRV7pS0
我在反叛嗎?可能343Please respect copyright.PENANAzDBZtYo3Zx
為了什麼?
為了什麼⋯?
成為些什麼的身分?
為了她的認同?
⋯⋯
我不知道
我自己也搞不清楚
回去一開始談到的地方
我選擇了前者
343Please respect copyright.PENANA12iKcmMSTI
讓困難自己解決343Please respect copyright.PENANAy380I4RXJh
343Please respect copyright.PENANAD1Nh5sP3Lo
但困難就是自己343Please respect copyright.PENANAdnkoALzHBw
343Please respect copyright.PENANAhZFY3RF4qH
所以才裝模作樣,卻又成了反效果,或是說,我從來也沒有想清楚任何事情,而衝進去做343Please respect copyright.PENANAyVGGbZaPQq
343Please respect copyright.PENANADXZPD2r5Lb
我做事沒腦根、理性,是後來的事情,日益嚴重,動不動就動氣,感性行事,這樣子便不用想了,不用想太多了343Please respect copyright.PENANAnEpA8lGAlc
343Please respect copyright.PENANA1VpHdQUgOA
不用去想更多平時的負面了343Please respect copyright.PENANAIaftCfluZt
343Please respect copyright.PENANAXYL76fEg8u
單憑感覺行事343Please respect copyright.PENANAqD9uMxZNrL
343Please respect copyright.PENANALvCyCpnGk2
這樣子便不用去研究他人的目光、想法,自己的得失,將來的後果,麻煩的各種343Please respect copyright.PENANAU0kYXPrglE
343Please respect copyright.PENANA2b7ln9D70r
反正本身裏頭已經積累了太多343Please respect copyright.PENANAOa5USGv2gx
343Please respect copyright.PENANAeepDHMhjb5
確實地問我,是不是很想孤立自己?343Please respect copyright.PENANAPN4nrGpKGw
343Please respect copyright.PENANAVHROOgGinc
別開玩笑343Please respect copyright.PENANAe3jidcBN9R
343Please respect copyright.PENANAkDgddwlqJZ
但我有選擇嗎?343Please respect copyright.PENANAXa3ODzoSRl
343Please respect copyright.PENANApVz6gqG5kh
343Please respect copyright.PENANA5iIihQD9Yt
注定無法「正常」地生活的我,注定混混噩噩過日子的自己,大概⋯本身已經叫姐姐她傷心了吧?343Please respect copyright.PENANA8AnZYZjWo2
343Please respect copyright.PENANA2IGlzlIQGQ
不過單是自己也是343Please respect copyright.PENANAJkVz5OdeUh
343Please respect copyright.PENANA8y8Wvxp5rf
我不想這樣子343Please respect copyright.PENANAS5aB4igsHe
343Please respect copyright.PENANAPOrFKFXNmu
343Please respect copyright.PENANAFJqBx5esu1
我不希望這樣子的「特別」343Please respect copyright.PENANANVcBeGhfEY
343Please respect copyright.PENANAtQKJfoETJg
343Please respect copyright.PENANAi1ioxQX8iz
但對自己來說,所謂的「未來」已是注定的
不能做到什麼
不能實現什麼
那怕是已經放棄得崩潰、討厭自己
也不能有什麼改變
我看不到明天,也看不到昨天
但⋯有分別嗎?
343Please respect copyright.PENANAgJbEfdaee7
當初的命運已經被注定,因為自己是大和氏,因為和那混帳有關係,因為⋯因為343Please respect copyright.PENANAMEadrd4ILi
343Please respect copyright.PENANAhLsLr0UNUj
我根本沒有能力去保護自己343Please respect copyright.PENANAEANLmyRAeU
343Please respect copyright.PENANAMKzh60kBEg
沒有能力343Please respect copyright.PENANAZVeb5GuaCi
343Please respect copyright.PENANAOz9OIHxNuu
一直以來也是343Please respect copyright.PENANAskeJRnafKC
343Please respect copyright.PENANAjFazS342zx
343Please respect copyright.PENANAJXjRU1g4Um
我⋯⋯343Please respect copyright.PENANAysPqu64wOF
343Please respect copyright.PENANAm1U1Oz8Qm9
343Please respect copyright.PENANA6GmPbc1lDB
我343Please respect copyright.PENANA7mB07LNF0K
343Please respect copyright.PENANAEvFvWsekeW
343Please respect copyright.PENANAuIiUskScMl
343Please respect copyright.PENANAVT0XK3Av04
343Please respect copyright.PENANA8bhE2QJnV4
343Please respect copyright.PENANAHRyAWvRuOc
343Please respect copyright.PENANAFvitAgnrSd
我根本沒有選擇343Please respect copyright.PENANAtk6GzTP4y2
343Please respect copyright.PENANA1I8hAClJ8B
343Please respect copyright.PENANAFconVIhiZV
現在的話,選不選擇也沒差別吧⋯343Please respect copyright.PENANAksQETSZFsJ
343Please respect copyright.PENANAHXzPG6k4Ia
343Please respect copyright.PENANAaQYRAaXrJI
算啦⋯343Please respect copyright.PENANApU4iLcY2U5
343Please respect copyright.PENANAJtfQhvu27O
就讓我自暴自棄吧
將我棄之不理吧
但一定,一定
一定會被反對為結果吧
343Please respect copyright.PENANAMZ2Z1KDkhK
343Please respect copyright.PENANAxiXy3oGHJq
343Please respect copyright.PENANAmHHeRBRXTn
343Please respect copyright.PENANAQRr5KYvGUW
「⋯」343Please respect copyright.PENANAEjJ4LbazIe
343Please respect copyright.PENANAawYqwcX6Xh
343Please respect copyright.PENANA80X2kwHbqj
怎也沒所謂了343Please respect copyright.PENANAk9XoDmvZPW
343Please respect copyright.PENANAiEhpgi0y0L
343Please respect copyright.PENANA4gO5I2GkCN
「⋯算了」343Please respect copyright.PENANApeq1KRbAxH
「我要出去食晚飯了」343Please respect copyright.PENANAo8b60WGoLZ
「你打算怎樣子呢」343Please respect copyright.PENANATvCy28CUHm
343Please respect copyright.PENANAReuotJA4Iz
343Please respect copyright.PENANA0l4h0STLir
343Please respect copyright.PENANAAsyHEo2iC0
「⋯⋯嗯」343Please respect copyright.PENANATozDdGCK6e
343Please respect copyright.PENANANKzOnvXBSI
343Please respect copyright.PENANAI7rHNiY7DU
343Please respect copyright.PENANAQntxsU4cOW
343Please respect copyright.PENANAGsGb7rGlEO
沒所謂了343Please respect copyright.PENANAO9tje87NI9
343Please respect copyright.PENANAJNVRyRxxjB
343Please respect copyright.PENANASdIAGu2LvH
「⋯⋯」343Please respect copyright.PENANAyhVHA5ch7r
343Please respect copyright.PENANAEOeI7SQIe1
343Please respect copyright.PENANAkKn8NqJ1SB
343Please respect copyright.PENANAEM2mmAZeeT
反正我就是生下來那刻開始被詛咒了343Please respect copyright.PENANAnedXIiT9bm
343Please respect copyright.PENANAH2OkgpyN8b
反正是我自己弄到自己得如此下場343Please respect copyright.PENANAK1o9eeYBDZ
343Please respect copyright.PENANAKRUT1aFexj
反正343Please respect copyright.PENANARK3qtgRePN
343Please respect copyright.PENANAGdsIfeGyM9
343Please respect copyright.PENANAv6WKfetJgf
「⋯」343Please respect copyright.PENANA7r5GVqQN6i
343Please respect copyright.PENANAy1F5xfKUFG
「笨蛋」343Please respect copyright.PENANA8HH7UdxpHN
343Please respect copyright.PENANAYwWBZq3ijN
我是不值得被愛被相信的惡名之子