惡名之下
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致不想回想起的記憶
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我不是那種「一般」的孩子370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPDimtCula
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29BPaaNlBL
但特殊得來，又不叫人驕傲的特別370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkInRwbQSl
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童年、成長、至今，我深知自己和其他人的不同，正因如此，我也因為這份特殊與我該在的地方、該有的身分道出分離宣言
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不是我害怕370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4BdVtWqf4
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKzpx9onpZ
是害怕自身
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世界很奇怪，只是不一樣的，所謂之「特別」，往往引人恐懼，危險的出現370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQMYAWnp7R
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaHxnENGoT
因為不同，意味改變370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1zu5RJ3Yi
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMklP8dqflJ
縱然沒人希望遇上困難，但又想克服，就只能待困難自己解決、或是自身忽然學懂如何去使吹灰之力的程度370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1z3BnzjbR6
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9qIo8MpOR
卻現實中，是沒有可能發生此種事，萬物不由己生，正如沒有不勞而獲，其之獲的勞，純粹不是由自己付出而已370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGG04zL9pO
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這道理370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WqKpdbTJg
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcB5FmmL8I
我是明白的370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BnXhnU5Po
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdWPtQOcrS
但又現實中，我做不了什麼，我無法展現自己在這方面的認知370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6O4ahjnJH
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QMjgKExjW
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5amq0eumQ8
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPae7b7Omj
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI195k7q6Bw
—— 啪喇 ——370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYYne0QASN
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqGjwEOL8Q
「廢物！」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPd6tXuki6
「您是吃撐沒事幹嗎？！」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdXCiOrsqe
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Kc1S7G4PN
見玻璃零碎散落，深紅沾在純黑的地毯，清脆響亮的聲響堪比硫磺一發，暗中的深紅滿滲若如蚊餐一地，儘管而言並非直對此方，隱約可見利片刺中了自己370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsU2bRuuVf
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4dcQ3wMu7
「現在有毛有翼曉升天了，作反了哦？！」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagBpir7vhL
「您究竟是不是真的弱智哦？！」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzv1regttG
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lfkiUqob0
「麻煩製造者⋯您可真是⋯⋯可不可以有點自知之名？」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorxy5K2jBN
「該死⋯」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheDYLM6B4I
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使力擦著額，短棕髮的她伸手到黑木桌子，「咻」一聲扯開櫃門，反手便伸入其中，撥開文具，翻走書本，往當中內最深處伸去370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03hX1FZSMZ
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數聲粗魯的物品碰撞，還有其後那響亮至耳窒的拍門，女性在視野外掏出一白中漂黃的東西
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370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEo7KKbH7n3
象牙製煙斗
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勾在嘴裏，同時從胸前口袋中拿出小圓盒，像口紅的造型，倒是金屬製，畢竟說到底才非打份用370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODsSUb0qA9
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfwlYVrxQe
熟練地扭開蓋鎖，拇指彈上開蓋，倒轉在煙斗的填裝位，一滴370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkOEzjqCqm
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「⋯呼⋯⋯」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEt7sVRw5en
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoRud0mPcf
雜草味，燒靑草的氣味，少許攻鼻，但並不濃，再者也未到刺激的程度，單純是蠻有葉綠味而已，連漂出來的白煙也幾乎不存在，室內散佈最強烈的，唯有植物的味道
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背對自己，她抽著煙斗，看往窗外
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370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqKDDhsRQg
不是特別高樓層，當然整座大廈也是己業前提，地方必是自己選址選樓層
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370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzmXj0J0wK
若是較高的位置，是可以看到海景，朝向東邊的海藍天，以及遠方一帶沿海的密集，高樓大廈又有，不起眼的小方塊亦有，熊本縣的各沿海城市，整個一起，掃望而入眼內370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyajQZAliz
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7njBz3vnN
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFNKeLXgFL
但她不同，她的選擇往往比任何⋯一般人，自己所想的奇怪，然而又有其論點，要說的話，就是她擁有著不同自己，過於複雜而與別不同的想法370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8IDm7s8Zm
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370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1CTgc5Yco
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbfpTsQ8f4
作風不一，思考的模式不一樣
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就好比她不打算把辦公室置於上面，而是這兒，這層，剛好不高於窗戶所面向，商店街的頂蓋，的一層
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GU9obmQDQ
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYCdS9M0Xu
看到車站、酒吧街街頭、商場門口，各種
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370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHoM4GH38Ht
因為她要真正的「全景」
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370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sP5iJ3e5N
我真的搞不清楚，嘛，無法理解
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好比她究竟是怎樣看待自己一樣
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370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XqZ1NGdNE
我知道，我也明白自己現在可是搞出大麻煩了，不但引起了刑警的注意，還有引致本地一眾不良、暴走族的騷動，現在回望，嘛，還真是想也想不到自己有這麼的能力370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgm0BFbJZv
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmjztDEWB5
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLemyKFGIeR
抑或說，是我一直以來，低估了老姐她的聲譽及影響力370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhStsEgaN0G
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LhroFwkbt
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zN4hjO9On
山松組的力量370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmF2wpDw3TG
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1WFmSm2H5
「您到底⋯什麼時候才會學乖呀？混帳⋯」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDlbcCO9Ao
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiFqCbdNt9
回神過來，她已經坐了在那辦工椅上，左腳放右腳膝頭，口中濃吐淡煙，即使口氣稍安定，放大的瞳孔凶剎不爾370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJ50Lt4lej
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她是我的姐姐370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDF91CYnAB
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXVgLXkq4F
山松組的老大370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEJ0tprjnG
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14efU1xpWE
大和英加370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hIQJRC2W4
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7KyMXDZVh
「說話啊」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyNPfrKsp8
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3Ol0TXgZc
央百花370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4j9qt8z8U
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQ6T7VARpT
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWyGdDMDhF
我努力地站在原處，就這樣一聲不吭，但是視線一交上，就看不了更多，看不到，尋找不到視線可聚落之處，可是呢，她可還生氣著，直對自己370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kwma0F9Lq
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJG9Xhs3lv
「⋯我可不會當你啞的」
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGOqMh9n6T
「⋯⋯你要是不說話⋯那好⋯⋯好⋯」
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlTwOUDFGd
「就讓我倆在這，一直⋯一直在這」
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuSKRh3RDX
「在這一起浪費時間，反正⋯ 我 · 很 · 閒 」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoywWpmspQ
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMPWD3loS8
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7J9qVfjxiH
「⋯⋯」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gBfpFcc07
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WQIPD2kfv
呼吸聲由緊縫的唇瓣洩出，曾有再多的話，希望反駁、說理，又說不出，不在她面前370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxFfQhardP
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILPr85QxpB
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BJOLBoj4l
我不只是害怕，畢竟目前為止，一生中最敬重，亦最不喜歡的，也是她，我的姐姐370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvS0fZhsqm
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kk9pBhMwt
她為我做了很多，太多，甚至我了解，自己所認知的，只是整幅拼圖的一小塊370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPLbhYXRxt
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLKgZ95acx
理應我該做好自己就好了，對她來說是最好了370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPh5jaR3yo
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFr9O3LpMd
所以說，我到底做了什麼？370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8DGcDfr8A
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95ozkMRnaE
我在反叛嗎？可能370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9t8IBr9cwA
為了什麼？
為了什麼⋯？
成為些什麼的身分？
為了她的認同？
⋯⋯
我不知道
我自己也搞不清楚
回去一開始談到的地方
我選擇了前者
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkB5CARs1VS
讓困難自己解決370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJaVqgeF4H
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIBajt7Jwc
但困難就是自己370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGm9henijk
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所以才裝模作樣，卻又成了反效果，或是說，我從來也沒有想清楚任何事情，而衝進去做370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWktssvUXc
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RZgGLCyEV
我做事沒腦根、理性，是後來的事情，日益嚴重，動不動就動氣，感性行事，這樣子便不用想了，不用想太多了370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZEz9mozxO
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkEof6Xdb0
不用去想更多平時的負面了370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZ4R958cy5
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單憑感覺行事370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBkSQKfo7U
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這樣子便不用去研究他人的目光、想法，自己的得失，將來的後果，麻煩的各種370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpXKaCnf56
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJP7Jo80Yb
反正本身裏頭已經積累了太多370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmzKSDNMVY
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEpaalh0so
確實地問我，是不是很想孤立自己？370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSGrQ6Wxj3
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別開玩笑370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeIcoXW3Tn
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但我有選擇嗎？370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXM2xSWRhhl
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注定無法「正常」地生活的我，注定混混噩噩過日子的自己，大概⋯本身已經叫姐姐她傷心了吧？370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBT4byOnveY
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不過單是自己也是370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcky71J9vgZ
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我不想這樣子370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnhXkqv05M
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我不希望這樣子的「特別」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKqsZ7ULFZ
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjscSNT9WN
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpaTKWedZ1
但對自己來說，所謂的「未來」已是注定的
不能做到什麼
不能實現什麼
那怕是已經放棄得崩潰、討厭自己
也不能有什麼改變
我看不到明天，也看不到昨天
但⋯有分別嗎？
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95KGQJNWWv
當初的命運已經被注定，因為自己是大和氏，因為和那混帳有關係，因為⋯因為370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyniXtrMLt
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我根本沒有能力去保護自己370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQpWQXNYZ3
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沒有能力370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoidGfY5Djt
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一直以來也是370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡff0gGHi61n
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我⋯⋯370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBxuNSuQAJ
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我370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9iyHvNvWZB
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我根本沒有選擇370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxzD5CLdFy
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbnQeZCqP8
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現在的話，選不選擇也沒差別吧⋯370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lJz6ccT4S
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算啦⋯370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgI1aPSwWiG
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUPJLkyQov
就讓我自暴自棄吧
將我棄之不理吧
但一定，一定
一定會被反對為結果吧
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「⋯」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Aqi1E2nkX
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370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkycWmngSZI
怎也沒所謂了370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJedMe5Fi1
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBX6IU4Nwt
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcUCAPuYnN
「⋯算了」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmFslBMxxF
「我要出去食晚飯了」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FYknug8bK
「你打算怎樣子呢」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBI9cunvFiN
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrC8epXe4b
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqyEKn6j4V
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPx3RnAYqPh
「⋯⋯嗯」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkZMBRrV04
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC62PJYppEn
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbZaPBCAsh
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlaJ8pyghd
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD259eFRLdj
沒所謂了370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxVC5sTusy
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaVOLXXDGd
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqnxFClI4o
「⋯⋯」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuSwyqDrv8
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6V4udv6Djo
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMdmT8hUQ2
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfxrZhnm4R
反正我就是生下來那刻開始被詛咒了370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMmojfLS4M
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29XPAozx8r
反正是我自己弄到自己得如此下場370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOO9mOLaZs
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mGbQtBL54
反正370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7zaN1zPWh
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYpO3RqIIt
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqKX6m0mTD
「⋯」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPH7XcPcJoB
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHuJI3KOuu
「笨蛋」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fKg24tM1X
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrwiF5Sanr
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