惡名之下
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致不想回想起的記憶
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我不是那種「一般」的孩子377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclRaCN4VWv
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1amH1KV9Z
但特殊得來，又不叫人驕傲的特別377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKNljlpUcj
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjK55V3K4Zy
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童年、成長、至今，我深知自己和其他人的不同，正因如此，我也因為這份特殊與我該在的地方、該有的身分道出分離宣言
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8C0mo590l
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfN5JnIIJR
不是我害怕377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUC3qT9YHR
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtrxZEAkVp
是害怕自身
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377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTwTSlxdX1
世界很奇怪，只是不一樣的，所謂之「特別」，往往引人恐懼，危險的出現377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFfMLfoWvb
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWUIzRBLBX
因為不同，意味改變377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaf5yz4xwrm
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXbYzyKShb
縱然沒人希望遇上困難，但又想克服，就只能待困難自己解決、或是自身忽然學懂如何去使吹灰之力的程度377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHTuF4OKe2
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLJO1Lg2bq
卻現實中，是沒有可能發生此種事，萬物不由己生，正如沒有不勞而獲，其之獲的勞，純粹不是由自己付出而已377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BKzCnoNTq
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrctkk8zwA6
這道理377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNozU06GOK
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4QI413P6G
我是明白的377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KGgr5ZNw4
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorHUiAhgs0
但又現實中，我做不了什麼，我無法展現自己在這方面的認知377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASmgidRsuP
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwm91eECzUJ
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQBXZBZO2P
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡal1pycdPT9
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqO9HdcXiP
—— 啪喇 ——377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrDesNUAvr
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0HVENqRgX
「廢物！」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGzstwRZd6
「您是吃撐沒事幹嗎？！」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrkY97LUUc
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDO3JvO1WhN
見玻璃零碎散落，深紅沾在純黑的地毯，清脆響亮的聲響堪比硫磺一發，暗中的深紅滿滲若如蚊餐一地，儘管而言並非直對此方，隱約可見利片刺中了自己377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAFREm2sIp
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsNUhIP6D4
「現在有毛有翼曉升天了，作反了哦？！」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOnCJjj1N0
「您究竟是不是真的弱智哦？！」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsHgj4S1te
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluTKsixuUd
「麻煩製造者⋯您可真是⋯⋯可不可以有點自知之名？」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyrnqzITve
「該死⋯」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQq8ytQEH5l
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377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0ItR4HKV6
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使力擦著額，短棕髮的她伸手到黑木桌子，「咻」一聲扯開櫃門，反手便伸入其中，撥開文具，翻走書本，往當中內最深處伸去377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBsesQS2tR
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOWdAJGjXY
數聲粗魯的物品碰撞，還有其後那響亮至耳窒的拍門，女性在視野外掏出一白中漂黃的東西
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7TAo7Cjy5
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4i7kcOzuy
象牙製煙斗
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勾在嘴裏，同時從胸前口袋中拿出小圓盒，像口紅的造型，倒是金屬製，畢竟說到底才非打份用377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ezEIhhZJ4
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboCZahyUU3
熟練地扭開蓋鎖，拇指彈上開蓋，倒轉在煙斗的填裝位，一滴377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUoKFJ3Xdg
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhTURyTYML
「⋯呼⋯⋯」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvifu4nTijZ
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMx7HsPQtEj
雜草味，燒靑草的氣味，少許攻鼻，但並不濃，再者也未到刺激的程度，單純是蠻有葉綠味而已，連漂出來的白煙也幾乎不存在，室內散佈最強烈的，唯有植物的味道
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡramrbANIl2
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hfeJiA9jK
背對自己，她抽著煙斗，看往窗外
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377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMO8rKHSaJP
不是特別高樓層，當然整座大廈也是己業前提，地方必是自己選址選樓層
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377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLSWJyqPFt
若是較高的位置，是可以看到海景，朝向東邊的海藍天，以及遠方一帶沿海的密集，高樓大廈又有，不起眼的小方塊亦有，熊本縣的各沿海城市，整個一起，掃望而入眼內377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnyhQqWk02d
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtDyt1cO1r
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoM8vC1wXg0
但她不同，她的選擇往往比任何⋯一般人，自己所想的奇怪，然而又有其論點，要說的話，就是她擁有著不同自己，過於複雜而與別不同的想法377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvej4YvNANw
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdkbE0mfwK
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NIqPE657y
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhejNlCXqCA
作風不一，思考的模式不一樣
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377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEOXM1dOFE
就好比她不打算把辦公室置於上面，而是這兒，這層，剛好不高於窗戶所面向，商店街的頂蓋，的一層
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAPePvncwK
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22blzuISbq
看到車站、酒吧街街頭、商場門口，各種
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNLdUkzTbV
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoHYLK5mMP
因為她要真正的「全景」
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377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRN0jeFv2p
我真的搞不清楚，嘛，無法理解
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377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEx2JVNN89n
好比她究竟是怎樣看待自己一樣
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmecyZKuPZ
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kWp4tgZLr
我知道，我也明白自己現在可是搞出大麻煩了，不但引起了刑警的注意，還有引致本地一眾不良、暴走族的騷動，現在回望，嘛，還真是想也想不到自己有這麼的能力377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqBuUqsLDP
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogBrUTUioQ
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdRfZ8N7M7
抑或說，是我一直以來，低估了老姐她的聲譽及影響力377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LD1IQP3BT
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxs2tzmz8yc
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJb6mVTLmS
山松組的力量377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsy1bOgBiDQ
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzhSG3kscY
「您到底⋯什麼時候才會學乖呀？混帳⋯」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkqAHULY2U
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWnaaRsSPk
回神過來，她已經坐了在那辦工椅上，左腳放右腳膝頭，口中濃吐淡煙，即使口氣稍安定，放大的瞳孔凶剎不爾377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0J2F0ZRipt
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAHVO3n2ju
她是我的姐姐377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIKn8xlTDO
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTG8NHBmRW
山松組的老大377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YaySPxupX
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHRIzZX7Bs
大和英加377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc958krfcXR
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaP4F80x4g
「說話啊」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtk7EiEHfR4
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvebISYyLbH
央百花377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplLkHtcbfG
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLwh1gsoBY
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeO94DrTFU
我努力地站在原處，就這樣一聲不吭，但是視線一交上，就看不了更多，看不到，尋找不到視線可聚落之處，可是呢，她可還生氣著，直對自己377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiv12kO6P8
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlmbtHYqZP
「⋯我可不會當你啞的」
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkRpmmkBpt
「⋯⋯你要是不說話⋯那好⋯⋯好⋯」
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98VkUPHtQG
「就讓我倆在這，一直⋯一直在這」
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyKHBiNMyT
「在這一起浪費時間，反正⋯ 我 · 很 · 閒 」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNQqxC8wyk
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EIUH1v4YD
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VttPCxcMl
「⋯⋯」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2b3Xxu9is
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHiK81Q6RM
呼吸聲由緊縫的唇瓣洩出，曾有再多的話，希望反駁、說理，又說不出，不在她面前377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGikZueaTKP
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfj9MRDymn
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcef56syqWj
我不只是害怕，畢竟目前為止，一生中最敬重，亦最不喜歡的，也是她，我的姐姐377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4ZFyOGD8T
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLr9FqZupDi
她為我做了很多，太多，甚至我了解，自己所認知的，只是整幅拼圖的一小塊377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1AGqIuTgF
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdKkZr9dG4
理應我該做好自己就好了，對她來說是最好了377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEbiqzBtVu
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzyiaHjG0y
所以說，我到底做了什麼？377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡod6YmJEBv3
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2OSXxSXtV
我在反叛嗎？可能377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FwlxZTpHQ
為了什麼？
為了什麼⋯？
成為些什麼的身分？
為了她的認同？
⋯⋯
我不知道
我自己也搞不清楚
回去一開始談到的地方
我選擇了前者
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpJazgX6Kk
讓困難自己解決377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJ2sWiqETi
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNDdeYQL9K
但困難就是自己377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuaaKEXvKg
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6a9UuESlX
所以才裝模作樣，卻又成了反效果，或是說，我從來也沒有想清楚任何事情，而衝進去做377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimx9IVvBK6
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAL2B7NlBBc
我做事沒腦根、理性，是後來的事情，日益嚴重，動不動就動氣，感性行事，這樣子便不用想了，不用想太多了377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QO4vdLN6V
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4iwTiS0Ux
不用去想更多平時的負面了377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuiwDKtUjy
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrwAEk2Xr3
單憑感覺行事377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlfVV6eQHT
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCM6OX2rai
這樣子便不用去研究他人的目光、想法，自己的得失，將來的後果，麻煩的各種377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZ4GqIdSSj
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaNR1Zet2a
反正本身裏頭已經積累了太多377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZUjpXiwb5
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX09cTIekNb
確實地問我，是不是很想孤立自己？377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLEsMAIzKH
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tSLosQVsn
別開玩笑377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgSewknYrS
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HiGKJKLTH
但我有選擇嗎？377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fPBVlEYlo
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64mavjgEGA
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNL0coQJzhH
注定無法「正常」地生活的我，注定混混噩噩過日子的自己，大概⋯本身已經叫姐姐她傷心了吧？377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpP6RI39Ss
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVP4yRcclKd
不過單是自己也是377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJnIpZyCO1
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaDYlIK3X1
我不想這樣子377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE61tmlGa5d
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3MKikUb2e
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGm0NfcMow
我不希望這樣子的「特別」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6remKhRQ2
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIft2k8dNIp
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtFIq28wcx
但對自己來說，所謂的「未來」已是注定的
不能做到什麼
不能實現什麼
那怕是已經放棄得崩潰、討厭自己
也不能有什麼改變
我看不到明天，也看不到昨天
但⋯有分別嗎？
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FkebAslv4
當初的命運已經被注定，因為自己是大和氏，因為和那混帳有關係，因為⋯因為377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5Pi8lTrcZ
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYa4euwPyp
我根本沒有能力去保護自己377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwtCToG2x1
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhOp7gHgAH
沒有能力377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6RVIVRRJ6
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一直以來也是377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4UUawzRLU
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNS9vfdZAWo
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrnsLxPaqB
我⋯⋯377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjLYKY0OEd
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYf09XrcJNH
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRCmTMsHOE
我377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSyaAf61nt
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377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqOqxP7voO
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEV8M2lY17
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377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewKARGUQ2d
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTa2yglBim
我根本沒有選擇377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8BGnOjZPh
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXu0vgEP5X
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIvAzUAUmm
現在的話，選不選擇也沒差別吧⋯377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2UePRMA9E
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ058cHtEzWk
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqTuXOYHuS
算啦⋯377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcREoFBy4pw
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7t5olzAix
就讓我自暴自棄吧
將我棄之不理吧
但一定，一定
一定會被反對為結果吧
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377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa27kyZcxfx
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「⋯」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVItREc2TM
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怎也沒所謂了377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzwsiv7edG
377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUhL5oizll
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「⋯算了」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREFhfLwbQw
「我要出去食晚飯了」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSaPHeG6K0
「你打算怎樣子呢」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tMuQELRUg
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「⋯⋯嗯」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRF8wuJtP7
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沒所謂了377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyi4fJE9gA
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「⋯⋯」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4WDTq2P2H
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反正我就是生下來那刻開始被詛咒了377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvqH4hwPPK
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反正是我自己弄到自己得如此下場377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpvbK5lMGg
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反正377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOckyBWWKmZ
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「⋯」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4n0MjAcDuz
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「笨蛋」377Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rLW9DqOIM
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