致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VLaZUZH97
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前提，是特殊情況之下289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfz8rLAufA
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3R0ePtbzvZ
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大概289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUqdivz9Q9
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyofHn8eDCT
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJbIfDKZ7Q
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「⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujizaI3boi
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeBvcQnNZV
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg38ZeJrX79
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBiBZ3Vw8q
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPhalu7orn
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不良日常性時候289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ882e3tmxXk
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9j8OLjyAS
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWL1I5dHrQ
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVq6jSRWhhX
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6KF4zIVOL
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOgw9Kf1kf
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMVEAHZPLj
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkia5DMCDa
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1KKaHOJYg
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAWG7euPtP
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwwU7pbM92
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「呀！來了、來了！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoylhILDho
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「走啊～」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxDebDn5pt
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5q14vmo69
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGe87hnLfe
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他289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23vYdf63AN
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「又被欺負了嗎？」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLsFbI89rb
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyN0R97EE8
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRcpkosmyY
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhld4B2Du2
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLo2HsF8uNz
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEhYAkmf5G
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⋯⋯289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5i9gHxlkI
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怎也好呢289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcc0swhpWR
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「⋯⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjKUA7IXIn
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF39l82lJaO
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrRIAiND8W
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—— 咔 ——289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWaseEmCMZ
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⋯289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLp1kcSNaL
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⋯⋯289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYHvdrXZWN
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZeYMPFbjE
「嗚⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFKPGIQsfa
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyP7vgkTHtz
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxPpeTEvd7
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd54sQiKfpR
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「啊？！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyffgnnMqT9
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—— 啪噹 ——289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGZwQKcmbo
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWl9BNpp8Tw
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxY0TTPYV2
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她一樣289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdVrfuqNin
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7dZ57HXsA
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPGQHYVGDH
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「對不起！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDBvfvDvFp
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jXHTJZ8q9
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「來」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpozM6SB8M
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「⋯謝謝」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYOyoRLQlH
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5gKZVcmQM
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1MSidaRU9
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsLLGZff39
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMGubVQPla
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「那個，水無月？」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXDJjNCxIb
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「怎麼了？」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvuup6N9iZ
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyign19rAkK
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各種289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7fXZtnVLG
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JpaIeYcaI
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZW6BFdYTAL
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且只能回味289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD87CE2qWcI
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「回來了嗎，島見？」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaPdvrJ8Oc
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡah8zhSdm8r
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRofrqPWVOu
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16NgpLQbpa
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「媽媽⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUnmNGZjMS
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「⋯⋯是的？」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLO3cFZiqk
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9oFKYwFHT
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO90Ev80Io3
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2i6F3KbGA
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpForAcECp
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呢289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqsmjWQvgf
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qtk6190F8
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacRHVvMqkk
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來得太突然了
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「那個，水無月，怎說呢⋯本來還以為你是個⋯怎說呢⋯⋯難親近的人呢」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWH3DOZMzgc
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「欸？」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqK6SxFPuF2
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「哈哈～不過看起來只是氣息而已」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XKGr5U7Np
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「這樣嗎⋯？」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLszvxV8TzL
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢！」
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逐漸自滿起來289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3L8HdRfYX
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「生日快樂！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yVE3B3qfH
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「這個是你弄的嗎？謝謝♡～」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSMnTyoClW
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太過成功才使人後悔啊289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccpV2qcf3X
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「⋯賀羽⋯⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJnDkCmoMu
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「⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUf1SCf1qSW
「所以說⋯你的⋯你的答覆是—— 啊⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGONOuBmgH
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—— 噗 ——289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJ6JePInwK
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「喜歡」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkQkNghGM7
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCIpdlPYmE
「賀羽？」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyz3cw5FwN
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「嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6icqydEfl
「太好了⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmQzIZUpBp
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnL3B3cnVBx
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如果⋯289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdKCnokpYi
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoS3zjIURsg
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來得太突然了，去得太突然289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTNlTzXvLj
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「什麼？」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzhSdrEsyq
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「⋯對不起⋯⋯賀羽，我也不想的——」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaG5HXpbKF
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwDG9SRMDa
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「你和人家道歉有什麼用啊⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4MmM29YyD
「我⋯我已經一無所有了⋯嗚⋯⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDyDmf4EGi
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「⋯對不起⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjus7TInWa
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對不起有什麼用？289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4REQK5AAv
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道歉又有什麼用？289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy05rzqwwHk
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卻289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDF6egGYZz
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZiDaqbhGZ
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要説再見了嗎？289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3L1rgFO76L
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我不想289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8WzJ9xDIA
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我不想笑著，和若無其事一樣，說再見，回到那個「正常」的日子，回歸那樣的生活中289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwP8ueB2GY
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這下子不只是離別，是失去，奪走289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwatlPuyFvG
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我不想那樣子289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8mLZ3LxCh
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkBAX6gWjD
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對，我經不起失敗，我承受不了錯誤了289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyKjb3Upwr
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不在這般的前半生之後289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDRuLaHXNr
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⋯⋯289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswaEtswdmZ
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無論如何，日子倒是來了289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwm12VEA0eB
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最後的笑容，就在當刻289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgao279BWh
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91rNdI7AW7
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡex4N21fVJG我不接受289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGHUPfzoPf
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLsfP2QaB0我不接受289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXvW3tXq60
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—— 啾 ——289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYC6Y5qVFV
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我不接受289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglMlS4hN0A
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「賀羽⋯？」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYX3P41U4Ka
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—— 啾 ——289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1OQlGQqhe
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXLZJNViMZ
「啾⋯咕⋯⋯不⋯唔⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXJtmm3QmH
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我不接受這樣的結果289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTxlB9iuw0
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「嗚哇啊？！！賀羽！住、住手！拜託了！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobs646wfko
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當時的我，只是任憑感覺去而已289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zqLPvG5r1
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「不、不行啊！！嗚哇！賀羽！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTcLi4SO5l
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我的本性289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gHkRO24mr
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「救命呀！嗚 —— 救我 ——」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6W2iYGcDB
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—— 啪 ——289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6Lyxnq1gQ
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「給我閉嘴」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCv8Vm9JXO1
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「—— 嗚⋯⋯！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4ehWVd7XP
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我終究只是野獸而已呢289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkun9FNDq6
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「⋯怎麼？！呀⋯？！嗚！停下來！求你了！！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBTZiCQ5BS
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「沒用的⋯你自己看呀⋯哈哈⋯⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDttvoeaVE6
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而作為人形野獸真的該死289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKhSNOmsKD
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如此痛苦也是活該289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7cFWIfZTl
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忘記不能也是289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VU5gO8Qtj
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「我可把晶片挖出來了！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGpH0Lf142
「現在靜靜的認命吧！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3MUDB5yW6
「張開口！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSMz5EfM7R
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「嗚咳啊⋯嗯？！咳 —— 咕唔？！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAf8WBcu9h
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發現了嗎？289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnQGjCcjL6
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「好痛啊！不、不要！！咿嗚哇啊！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNCqTkgVh8
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAxI98ECFk
這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBemR1fgnSx
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnHDVJ5bqv
我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqk7TPjPrJ
「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjUGab2o8l
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「為什麼⋯⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQawSJwi761
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我所嚮往的289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwUlmzMHtA
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所謂的289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD07THYIBzq
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「正常」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rYThCpgOg
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純粹是個謊言289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGj79afH4Yi
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4EabLcDqb
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「⋯你要是說出去，我可真的把你殺了」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSEiwRWAuR
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⋯⋯289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZvhzJgMjT
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所以說，我是異類嗎？289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjQnKQ0lR4
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「⋯⋯再見了」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04vTdVWPYe
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當然289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbKrdRoTb6
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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「切」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53Qh6u0RVU
「等了這麼久⋯嗯？」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlWhBcR8Mg
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氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvEt8RZ21v
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「嘿⋯」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUH9RODpkM
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自討而已289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡON2b8jpwar
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
ns18.119.100.196da2
