惡名之下
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致不想回想起的記憶
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367Please respect copyright.PENANAqA8tjkphNQ
367Please respect copyright.PENANAhdvyiMnC63
我不是那種「一般」的孩子367Please respect copyright.PENANA1oqX1cQEjd
367Please respect copyright.PENANAE6IelvvpqJ
但特殊得來,又不叫人驕傲的特別367Please respect copyright.PENANAJNkx05TYnN
367Please respect copyright.PENANACv57jHTupL
367Please respect copyright.PENANApTu3qV7I6n
童年、成長、至今,我深知自己和其他人的不同,正因如此,我也因為這份特殊與我該在的地方、該有的身分道出分離宣言
367Please respect copyright.PENANACYqTHPeVSI
367Please respect copyright.PENANAWykqBjtkMC
不是我害怕367Please respect copyright.PENANA4wRYdGgIiH
367Please respect copyright.PENANAWuSWMyH8D7
是害怕自身
367Please respect copyright.PENANApeCXwA2bo7
367Please respect copyright.PENANAgHO0ZRM5ZC
世界很奇怪,只是不一樣的,所謂之「特別」,往往引人恐懼,危險的出現367Please respect copyright.PENANAV1twr8RpPe
367Please respect copyright.PENANAmBkuzt6j03
因為不同,意味改變367Please respect copyright.PENANA7qKKojHoYM
367Please respect copyright.PENANA94vfa5000y
縱然沒人希望遇上困難,但又想克服,就只能待困難自己解決、或是自身忽然學懂如何去使吹灰之力的程度367Please respect copyright.PENANAj4X3jNihPV
367Please respect copyright.PENANAvumvid8wWG
卻現實中,是沒有可能發生此種事,萬物不由己生,正如沒有不勞而獲,其之獲的勞,純粹不是由自己付出而已367Please respect copyright.PENANAslpfYWTdMp
367Please respect copyright.PENANAZdRze9rEEg
這道理367Please respect copyright.PENANAXDnXeZh6Rc
367Please respect copyright.PENANAkW6Ls7hyPz
我是明白的367Please respect copyright.PENANA4pKOXNCv0j
367Please respect copyright.PENANA2CTi03dh5N
但又現實中,我做不了什麼,我無法展現自己在這方面的認知367Please respect copyright.PENANAUPbLwMqivG
367Please respect copyright.PENANA72cnQxdOjh
367Please respect copyright.PENANAHaWPOsnXXT
367Please respect copyright.PENANAAPJlo12cpC
367Please respect copyright.PENANAKay9mM1Cbx
—— 啪喇 ——367Please respect copyright.PENANAL1sIcI4zDC
367Please respect copyright.PENANAyn0sS67XTt
「廢物!」367Please respect copyright.PENANAfvv7sLQvug
「您是吃撐沒事幹嗎?!」367Please respect copyright.PENANAX91xHkvrjh
367Please respect copyright.PENANAYRpniFNAaS
見玻璃零碎散落,深紅沾在純黑的地毯,清脆響亮的聲響堪比硫磺一發,暗中的深紅滿滲若如蚊餐一地,儘管而言並非直對此方,隱約可見利片刺中了自己367Please respect copyright.PENANAOrffyLFBZz
367Please respect copyright.PENANAtXcNPNg58M
「現在有毛有翼曉升天了,作反了哦?!」367Please respect copyright.PENANAsGRZ6pMKKO
「您究竟是不是真的弱智哦?!」367Please respect copyright.PENANArYiMMsbxGd
367Please respect copyright.PENANAF11AeBmnKQ
「麻煩製造者⋯您可真是⋯⋯可不可以有點自知之名?」367Please respect copyright.PENANA23Jfs7myOL
「該死⋯」367Please respect copyright.PENANADESmIikaEO
367Please respect copyright.PENANAXpW8WOjj9j
367Please respect copyright.PENANA6bz3Y461GA
367Please respect copyright.PENANAlakHVCcim4
使力擦著額,短棕髮的她伸手到黑木桌子,「咻」一聲扯開櫃門,反手便伸入其中,撥開文具,翻走書本,往當中內最深處伸去367Please respect copyright.PENANAi33Oz8K5pp
367Please respect copyright.PENANA7RZdse9l3V
數聲粗魯的物品碰撞,還有其後那響亮至耳窒的拍門,女性在視野外掏出一白中漂黃的東西
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367Please respect copyright.PENANAK3TiCOTuXe
象牙製煙斗
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367Please respect copyright.PENANAU1lX6zYtLj
勾在嘴裏,同時從胸前口袋中拿出小圓盒,像口紅的造型,倒是金屬製,畢竟說到底才非打份用367Please respect copyright.PENANATF9tvkwwXh
367Please respect copyright.PENANALzcsoDmomJ
熟練地扭開蓋鎖,拇指彈上開蓋,倒轉在煙斗的填裝位,一滴367Please respect copyright.PENANARebh0uqbaf
367Please respect copyright.PENANAr2eT6X6Enj
「⋯呼⋯⋯」367Please respect copyright.PENANACbv8OmtsTq
367Please respect copyright.PENANAW2wrhdrnoL
雜草味,燒靑草的氣味,少許攻鼻,但並不濃,再者也未到刺激的程度,單純是蠻有葉綠味而已,連漂出來的白煙也幾乎不存在,室內散佈最強烈的,唯有植物的味道
367Please respect copyright.PENANAp86G4x9yLs
367Please respect copyright.PENANAaW8albuVpB
背對自己,她抽著煙斗,看往窗外
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367Please respect copyright.PENANAIO8opN3TE6
不是特別高樓層,當然整座大廈也是己業前提,地方必是自己選址選樓層
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若是較高的位置,是可以看到海景,朝向東邊的海藍天,以及遠方一帶沿海的密集,高樓大廈又有,不起眼的小方塊亦有,熊本縣的各沿海城市,整個一起,掃望而入眼內367Please respect copyright.PENANAfcuIOpye8I
367Please respect copyright.PENANA0FVavuJ7RJ
367Please respect copyright.PENANAEHlC5v2q5f
但她不同,她的選擇往往比任何⋯一般人,自己所想的奇怪,然而又有其論點,要說的話,就是她擁有著不同自己,過於複雜而與別不同的想法367Please respect copyright.PENANACkBZhNPT7G
367Please respect copyright.PENANAczohwqQ5CF
367Please respect copyright.PENANAJvjnUUpPjN
367Please respect copyright.PENANAFHF4tBXyr4
作風不一,思考的模式不一樣
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就好比她不打算把辦公室置於上面,而是這兒,這層,剛好不高於窗戶所面向,商店街的頂蓋,的一層
367Please respect copyright.PENANAJHYyHUkHvg
367Please respect copyright.PENANAqNPvce1HfU
看到車站、酒吧街街頭、商場門口,各種
367Please respect copyright.PENANARbMb4rGmk1
367Please respect copyright.PENANAZJHb3BjdF4
因為她要真正的「全景」
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367Please respect copyright.PENANAVgwPij7LyT
我真的搞不清楚,嘛,無法理解
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367Please respect copyright.PENANAwjSqZxgPa2
好比她究竟是怎樣看待自己一樣
367Please respect copyright.PENANAR9vUImBny0
367Please respect copyright.PENANAM9caeZ2ltf
我知道,我也明白自己現在可是搞出大麻煩了,不但引起了刑警的注意,還有引致本地一眾不良、暴走族的騷動,現在回望,嘛,還真是想也想不到自己有這麼的能力367Please respect copyright.PENANAvFE7ZDLaPe
367Please respect copyright.PENANAQXlqe1hcXS
367Please respect copyright.PENANAFFND75iCkc
抑或說,是我一直以來,低估了老姐她的聲譽及影響力367Please respect copyright.PENANAFqL9UXLVMK
367Please respect copyright.PENANA3ciZ81rHQn
367Please respect copyright.PENANARbj4uaojYW
山松組的力量367Please respect copyright.PENANA6nmYx74T8g
367Please respect copyright.PENANAUNpejiAAmT
「您到底⋯什麼時候才會學乖呀?混帳⋯」367Please respect copyright.PENANAdqyhvMp2Sb
367Please respect copyright.PENANAcJtNf6KS3b
回神過來,她已經坐了在那辦工椅上,左腳放右腳膝頭,口中濃吐淡煙,即使口氣稍安定,放大的瞳孔凶剎不爾367Please respect copyright.PENANAGtbH8GtmfF
367Please respect copyright.PENANA7hxwA4hWsG
她是我的姐姐367Please respect copyright.PENANADSwSSOLLYk
367Please respect copyright.PENANAQaDkAKA16v
山松組的老大367Please respect copyright.PENANA94Q46ISQqe
367Please respect copyright.PENANApRyXEGfOjN
大和英加367Please respect copyright.PENANAyNG6wSvv3G
367Please respect copyright.PENANA3ZC61HCNXR
「說話啊」367Please respect copyright.PENANALcdPvbLlnZ
367Please respect copyright.PENANAlQbZpXwSo9
央百花367Please respect copyright.PENANASvl87i7Ewe
367Please respect copyright.PENANAn7zRHOkAA6
367Please respect copyright.PENANAuGocM8TefH
我努力地站在原處,就這樣一聲不吭,但是視線一交上,就看不了更多,看不到,尋找不到視線可聚落之處,可是呢,她可還生氣著,直對自己367Please respect copyright.PENANAzLsUrUEZwq
367Please respect copyright.PENANA0X6rRyApqS
「⋯我可不會當你啞的」
367Please respect copyright.PENANAqhPvoPuYw9
「⋯⋯你要是不說話⋯那好⋯⋯好⋯」
367Please respect copyright.PENANAj5WdekU0bu
「就讓我倆在這,一直⋯一直在這」
367Please respect copyright.PENANAzVu9MWGOSa
「在這一起浪費時間,反正⋯ 我 · 很 · 閒 」367Please respect copyright.PENANAljIZjkUZEG
367Please respect copyright.PENANAIprOsKjygN
367Please respect copyright.PENANAERTksaGXbr
「⋯⋯」367Please respect copyright.PENANALT7pTcKCls
367Please respect copyright.PENANAS42RJa6B6A
呼吸聲由緊縫的唇瓣洩出,曾有再多的話,希望反駁、說理,又說不出,不在她面前367Please respect copyright.PENANAwAgf3Cl5DN
367Please respect copyright.PENANAXcX3ZFWKm9
367Please respect copyright.PENANA3N8SBm0X37
我不只是害怕,畢竟目前為止,一生中最敬重,亦最不喜歡的,也是她,我的姐姐367Please respect copyright.PENANAfuIWjDRAWU
367Please respect copyright.PENANAEThkLkKv22
她為我做了很多,太多,甚至我了解,自己所認知的,只是整幅拼圖的一小塊367Please respect copyright.PENANAJmOn8BYqR6
367Please respect copyright.PENANA2bWJRRAlXh
理應我該做好自己就好了,對她來說是最好了367Please respect copyright.PENANAVT5K53t5sD
367Please respect copyright.PENANAgTKDWq6Hjy
所以說,我到底做了什麼?367Please respect copyright.PENANA9z6l3hoxSK
367Please respect copyright.PENANANQuqmqLJQ1
我在反叛嗎?可能367Please respect copyright.PENANAx0DG06omrd
為了什麼?
為了什麼⋯?
成為些什麼的身分?
為了她的認同?
⋯⋯
我不知道
我自己也搞不清楚
回去一開始談到的地方
我選擇了前者
367Please respect copyright.PENANA5lCKTek7oI
讓困難自己解決367Please respect copyright.PENANABKEuyq4235
367Please respect copyright.PENANAu5LM7jRp6k
但困難就是自己367Please respect copyright.PENANACDGA5fGFiQ
367Please respect copyright.PENANAsdh12Wm1WT
所以才裝模作樣,卻又成了反效果,或是說,我從來也沒有想清楚任何事情,而衝進去做367Please respect copyright.PENANAjbrAVnKKAG
367Please respect copyright.PENANANXijDWy304
我做事沒腦根、理性,是後來的事情,日益嚴重,動不動就動氣,感性行事,這樣子便不用想了,不用想太多了367Please respect copyright.PENANAk6lRhGxaai
367Please respect copyright.PENANApOau989N3B
不用去想更多平時的負面了367Please respect copyright.PENANAP9zkcZ4Ztc
367Please respect copyright.PENANAs3RtlPo1zH
單憑感覺行事367Please respect copyright.PENANAB4NXba28wp
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這樣子便不用去研究他人的目光、想法,自己的得失,將來的後果,麻煩的各種367Please respect copyright.PENANABApWglU35H
367Please respect copyright.PENANANFamvsdcFm
反正本身裏頭已經積累了太多367Please respect copyright.PENANAKfO1d06uUl
367Please respect copyright.PENANADvDAFfioDJ
確實地問我,是不是很想孤立自己?367Please respect copyright.PENANAjo0vGkNud9
367Please respect copyright.PENANAFDThbM0Pzj
別開玩笑367Please respect copyright.PENANANnOtBL22fC
367Please respect copyright.PENANA67ZcQinKRB
但我有選擇嗎?367Please respect copyright.PENANA2yI5Iefh28
367Please respect copyright.PENANAfOLdAYWm83
367Please respect copyright.PENANAyrqL2uGZiK
注定無法「正常」地生活的我,注定混混噩噩過日子的自己,大概⋯本身已經叫姐姐她傷心了吧?367Please respect copyright.PENANA5yhIDYS7cH
367Please respect copyright.PENANApCgMmvoWPb
不過單是自己也是367Please respect copyright.PENANAHBcvsxsq1o
367Please respect copyright.PENANAk7AX4IT8he
我不想這樣子367Please respect copyright.PENANAaAUx2TygH1
367Please respect copyright.PENANAhaLnQVEmbD
367Please respect copyright.PENANAdROlWZPalR
我不希望這樣子的「特別」367Please respect copyright.PENANA0j6zn9EQJN
367Please respect copyright.PENANAaOgiDj6TF9
367Please respect copyright.PENANAbhiGn6vz3u
但對自己來說,所謂的「未來」已是注定的
不能做到什麼
不能實現什麼
那怕是已經放棄得崩潰、討厭自己
也不能有什麼改變
我看不到明天,也看不到昨天
但⋯有分別嗎?
367Please respect copyright.PENANAP2jKZL1esE
當初的命運已經被注定,因為自己是大和氏,因為和那混帳有關係,因為⋯因為367Please respect copyright.PENANArHl3xIb0L6
367Please respect copyright.PENANAUzxWo2NwlE
我根本沒有能力去保護自己367Please respect copyright.PENANAi3p9jqaujX
367Please respect copyright.PENANAAjNLnzno3k
沒有能力367Please respect copyright.PENANAJEGf29uDBB
367Please respect copyright.PENANAD21opLw8UH
一直以來也是367Please respect copyright.PENANAOugdrzEBYB
367Please respect copyright.PENANAybFeeQaRqt
367Please respect copyright.PENANAE7XARSOUQ5
我⋯⋯367Please respect copyright.PENANAYWLFmweaye
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367Please respect copyright.PENANAf2tRwfZAIr
我367Please respect copyright.PENANAXZ2rIPHkFU
367Please respect copyright.PENANA8h0HoFNq2e
367Please respect copyright.PENANAbN1BzCC4bd
367Please respect copyright.PENANAnbJsNC8MuJ
367Please respect copyright.PENANAonqwrIGUxn
367Please respect copyright.PENANAitzgEd0Szm
367Please respect copyright.PENANA9RfoebJCWa
我根本沒有選擇367Please respect copyright.PENANAMuMi6ANFD5
367Please respect copyright.PENANAokSDocvXKO
367Please respect copyright.PENANA0TkYhv7Tus
現在的話,選不選擇也沒差別吧⋯367Please respect copyright.PENANAnoE9yzjuaU
367Please respect copyright.PENANA6EhLHrCY43
367Please respect copyright.PENANAJjU1zuRfcm
算啦⋯367Please respect copyright.PENANAifMvqZr9mN
367Please respect copyright.PENANABemoK1Ljp6
就讓我自暴自棄吧
將我棄之不理吧
但一定,一定
一定會被反對為結果吧
367Please respect copyright.PENANAEuDtor3R93
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「⋯」367Please respect copyright.PENANAlJDYZsdbS5
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怎也沒所謂了367Please respect copyright.PENANAy8MSaX98Ky
367Please respect copyright.PENANAhli7kOgiZa
367Please respect copyright.PENANAK4Rnq3rZ4Y
「⋯算了」367Please respect copyright.PENANAk7z0qzHbxb
「我要出去食晚飯了」367Please respect copyright.PENANAfLBA86klio
「你打算怎樣子呢」367Please respect copyright.PENANAix7YgIn8vu
367Please respect copyright.PENANA7MdZrSk3CC
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367Please respect copyright.PENANAyBc5QYYXMx
「⋯⋯嗯」367Please respect copyright.PENANANSea3ljz3V
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沒所謂了367Please respect copyright.PENANArfXr9cKdvl
367Please respect copyright.PENANArZIUoC4Hu1
367Please respect copyright.PENANAJHfWmoXQqF
「⋯⋯」367Please respect copyright.PENANAdWkjedqMyU
367Please respect copyright.PENANA6meNIcATEL
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反正我就是生下來那刻開始被詛咒了367Please respect copyright.PENANA6KT2aTgk5L
367Please respect copyright.PENANAE2Wdy8w7by
反正是我自己弄到自己得如此下場367Please respect copyright.PENANAsZuA4cSFx0
367Please respect copyright.PENANABj5gJ9393c
反正367Please respect copyright.PENANAxxe4qwnjD0
367Please respect copyright.PENANAhNfa6P6gD1
367Please respect copyright.PENANA6gk2vT7BT1
「⋯」367Please respect copyright.PENANA8vi8XKMbnw
367Please respect copyright.PENANAyKFOwtfn14
「笨蛋」367Please respect copyright.PENANAlmT9OfIJnE
367Please respect copyright.PENANAdFK8RWWAWm
我是不值得被愛被相信的惡名之子