惡名之下
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致不想回想起的記憶
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我不是那種「一般」的孩子367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oqX1cQEjd
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6IelvvpqJ
但特殊得來，又不叫人驕傲的特別367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNkx05TYnN
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童年、成長、至今，我深知自己和其他人的不同，正因如此，我也因為這份特殊與我該在的地方、該有的身分道出分離宣言
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不是我害怕367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wRYdGgIiH
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuSWMyH8D7
是害怕自身
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世界很奇怪，只是不一樣的，所謂之「特別」，往往引人恐懼，危險的出現367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1twr8RpPe
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBkuzt6j03
因為不同，意味改變367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qKKojHoYM
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94vfa5000y
縱然沒人希望遇上困難，但又想克服，就只能待困難自己解決、或是自身忽然學懂如何去使吹灰之力的程度367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4X3jNihPV
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvumvid8wWG
卻現實中，是沒有可能發生此種事，萬物不由己生，正如沒有不勞而獲，其之獲的勞，純粹不是由自己付出而已367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslpfYWTdMp
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdRze9rEEg
這道理367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDnXeZh6Rc
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkW6Ls7hyPz
我是明白的367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pKOXNCv0j
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CTi03dh5N
但又現實中，我做不了什麼，我無法展現自己在這方面的認知367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPbLwMqivG
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72cnQxdOjh
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaWPOsnXXT
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPJlo12cpC
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKay9mM1Cbx
—— 啪喇 ——367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1sIcI4zDC
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyn0sS67XTt
「廢物！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvv7sLQvug
「您是吃撐沒事幹嗎？！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX91xHkvrjh
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRpniFNAaS
見玻璃零碎散落，深紅沾在純黑的地毯，清脆響亮的聲響堪比硫磺一發，暗中的深紅滿滲若如蚊餐一地，儘管而言並非直對此方，隱約可見利片刺中了自己367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrffyLFBZz
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXcNPNg58M
「現在有毛有翼曉升天了，作反了哦？！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGRZ6pMKKO
「您究竟是不是真的弱智哦？！」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYiMMsbxGd
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF11AeBmnKQ
「麻煩製造者⋯您可真是⋯⋯可不可以有點自知之名？」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23Jfs7myOL
「該死⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDESmIikaEO
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使力擦著額，短棕髮的她伸手到黑木桌子，「咻」一聲扯開櫃門，反手便伸入其中，撥開文具，翻走書本，往當中內最深處伸去367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi33Oz8K5pp
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RZdse9l3V
數聲粗魯的物品碰撞，還有其後那響亮至耳窒的拍門，女性在視野外掏出一白中漂黃的東西
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnskeHCOD65
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3TiCOTuXe
象牙製煙斗
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367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1lX6zYtLj
勾在嘴裏，同時從胸前口袋中拿出小圓盒，像口紅的造型，倒是金屬製，畢竟說到底才非打份用367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTF9tvkwwXh
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzcsoDmomJ
熟練地扭開蓋鎖，拇指彈上開蓋，倒轉在煙斗的填裝位，一滴367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRebh0uqbaf
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2eT6X6Enj
「⋯呼⋯⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbv8OmtsTq
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2wrhdrnoL
雜草味，燒靑草的氣味，少許攻鼻，但並不濃，再者也未到刺激的程度，單純是蠻有葉綠味而已，連漂出來的白煙也幾乎不存在，室內散佈最強烈的，唯有植物的味道
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367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaW8albuVpB
背對自己，她抽著煙斗，看往窗外
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367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIO8opN3TE6
不是特別高樓層，當然整座大廈也是己業前提，地方必是自己選址選樓層
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfa9t0a3tA
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuHZpPYUqB
若是較高的位置，是可以看到海景，朝向東邊的海藍天，以及遠方一帶沿海的密集，高樓大廈又有，不起眼的小方塊亦有，熊本縣的各沿海城市，整個一起，掃望而入眼內367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcuIOpye8I
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FVavuJ7RJ
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHlC5v2q5f
但她不同，她的選擇往往比任何⋯一般人，自己所想的奇怪，然而又有其論點，要說的話，就是她擁有著不同自己，過於複雜而與別不同的想法367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkBZhNPT7G
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczohwqQ5CF
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvjnUUpPjN
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHF4tBXyr4
作風不一，思考的模式不一樣
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367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhZJF5xrl3
就好比她不打算把辦公室置於上面，而是這兒，這層，剛好不高於窗戶所面向，商店街的頂蓋，的一層
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHYyHUkHvg
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNPvce1HfU
看到車站、酒吧街街頭、商場門口，各種
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbMb4rGmk1
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJHb3BjdF4
因為她要真正的「全景」
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367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgwPij7LyT
我真的搞不清楚，嘛，無法理解
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367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjSqZxgPa2
好比她究竟是怎樣看待自己一樣
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367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9caeZ2ltf
我知道，我也明白自己現在可是搞出大麻煩了，不但引起了刑警的注意，還有引致本地一眾不良、暴走族的騷動，現在回望，嘛，還真是想也想不到自己有這麼的能力367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFE7ZDLaPe
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXlqe1hcXS
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFND75iCkc
抑或說，是我一直以來，低估了老姐她的聲譽及影響力367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqL9UXLVMK
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ciZ81rHQn
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbj4uaojYW
山松組的力量367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nmYx74T8g
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNpejiAAmT
「您到底⋯什麼時候才會學乖呀？混帳⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqyhvMp2Sb
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJtNf6KS3b
回神過來，她已經坐了在那辦工椅上，左腳放右腳膝頭，口中濃吐淡煙，即使口氣稍安定，放大的瞳孔凶剎不爾367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtbH8GtmfF
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hxwA4hWsG
她是我的姐姐367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSwSSOLLYk
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaDkAKA16v
山松組的老大367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94Q46ISQqe
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRyXEGfOjN
大和英加367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNG6wSvv3G
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZC61HCNXR
「說話啊」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcdPvbLlnZ
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQbZpXwSo9
央百花367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvl87i7Ewe
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7zRHOkAA6
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGocM8TefH
我努力地站在原處，就這樣一聲不吭，但是視線一交上，就看不了更多，看不到，尋找不到視線可聚落之處，可是呢，她可還生氣著，直對自己367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLsUrUEZwq
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0X6rRyApqS
「⋯我可不會當你啞的」
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhPvoPuYw9
「⋯⋯你要是不說話⋯那好⋯⋯好⋯」
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5WdekU0bu
「就讓我倆在這，一直⋯一直在這」
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVu9MWGOSa
「在這一起浪費時間，反正⋯ 我 · 很 · 閒 」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljIZjkUZEG
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIprOsKjygN
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERTksaGXbr
「⋯⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLT7pTcKCls
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS42RJa6B6A
呼吸聲由緊縫的唇瓣洩出，曾有再多的話，希望反駁、說理，又說不出，不在她面前367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAgf3Cl5DN
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcX3ZFWKm9
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3N8SBm0X37
我不只是害怕，畢竟目前為止，一生中最敬重，亦最不喜歡的，也是她，我的姐姐367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuIWjDRAWU
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEThkLkKv22
她為我做了很多，太多，甚至我了解，自己所認知的，只是整幅拼圖的一小塊367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmOn8BYqR6
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bWJRRAlXh
理應我該做好自己就好了，對她來說是最好了367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVT5K53t5sD
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTKDWq6Hjy
所以說，我到底做了什麼？367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9z6l3hoxSK
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQuqmqLJQ1
我在反叛嗎？可能367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0DG06omrd
為了什麼？
為了什麼⋯？
成為些什麼的身分？
為了她的認同？
⋯⋯
我不知道
我自己也搞不清楚
回去一開始談到的地方
我選擇了前者
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lCKTek7oI
讓困難自己解決367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKEuyq4235
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5LM7jRp6k
但困難就是自己367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDGA5fGFiQ
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdh12Wm1WT
所以才裝模作樣，卻又成了反效果，或是說，我從來也沒有想清楚任何事情，而衝進去做367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbrAVnKKAG
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXijDWy304
我做事沒腦根、理性，是後來的事情，日益嚴重，動不動就動氣，感性行事，這樣子便不用想了，不用想太多了367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6lRhGxaai
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOau989N3B
不用去想更多平時的負面了367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9zkcZ4Ztc
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3RtlPo1zH
單憑感覺行事367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4NXba28wp
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這樣子便不用去研究他人的目光、想法，自己的得失，將來的後果，麻煩的各種367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBApWglU35H
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFamvsdcFm
反正本身裏頭已經積累了太多367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfO1d06uUl
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvDAFfioDJ
確實地問我，是不是很想孤立自己？367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjo0vGkNud9
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別開玩笑367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnOtBL22fC
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但我有選擇嗎？367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yI5Iefh28
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注定無法「正常」地生活的我，注定混混噩噩過日子的自己，大概⋯本身已經叫姐姐她傷心了吧？367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yhIDYS7cH
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不過單是自己也是367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBcvsxsq1o
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我不想這樣子367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAUx2TygH1
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhaLnQVEmbD
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdROlWZPalR
我不希望這樣子的「特別」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0j6zn9EQJN
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOgiDj6TF9
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhiGn6vz3u
但對自己來說，所謂的「未來」已是注定的
不能做到什麼
不能實現什麼
那怕是已經放棄得崩潰、討厭自己
也不能有什麼改變
我看不到明天，也看不到昨天
但⋯有分別嗎？
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2jKZL1esE
當初的命運已經被注定，因為自己是大和氏，因為和那混帳有關係，因為⋯因為367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHl3xIb0L6
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzxWo2NwlE
我根本沒有能力去保護自己367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3p9jqaujX
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjNLnzno3k
沒有能力367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEGf29uDBB
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一直以來也是367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOugdrzEBYB
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybFeeQaRqt
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7XARSOUQ5
我⋯⋯367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWLFmweaye
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我367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZ2rIPHkFU
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我根本沒有選擇367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuMi6ANFD5
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokSDocvXKO
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TkYhv7Tus
現在的話，選不選擇也沒差別吧⋯367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoE9yzjuaU
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算啦⋯367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifMvqZr9mN
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBemoK1Ljp6
就讓我自暴自棄吧
將我棄之不理吧
但一定，一定
一定會被反對為結果吧
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「⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJDYZsdbS5
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怎也沒所謂了367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8MSaX98Ky
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「⋯算了」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7z0qzHbxb
「我要出去食晚飯了」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLBA86klio
「你打算怎樣子呢」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡix7YgIn8vu
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「⋯⋯嗯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSea3ljz3V
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367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXtlMBSo6b
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沒所謂了367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfXr9cKdvl
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「⋯⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWkjedqMyU
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367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Bn0j5KPZz
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反正我就是生下來那刻開始被詛咒了367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KT2aTgk5L
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反正是我自己弄到自己得如此下場367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZuA4cSFx0
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反正367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxe4qwnjD0
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「⋯」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vi8XKMbnw
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「笨蛋」367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmT9OfIJnE
367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFK8RWWAWm
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