43Please respect copyright.PENANAb4SsghnVbe
▌類型 短文43Please respect copyright.PENANAxcqkQ16T51
▌作者 氦氣
▌第3篇
43Please respect copyright.PENANAh6VAwXYDAT
末篇,以年邁的疾病纏身刻畫出女孩的不離不棄,更是難得可貴看出,通篇都是女孩無謂犧牲的偉大辛勞。43Please respect copyright.PENANA3HtP8Hc4x6
43Please respect copyright.PENANAeI2zjJ29Ui
冬戀湖的廟神,將兩人緣分再次相繫相聯,雖牽起了忘記了自己的那名男人的手,卻仍堅定自己的內心的想法。以冬,再次畫下落幕。43Please respect copyright.PENANAJAajzDSKtP
43Please respect copyright.PENANAgS1SVRfYO6
43Please respect copyright.PENANAYO7oJPnT5s
點評至此處,實在不忍想碎嘴一番。那男孩,丟下一句拋棄人家,然後一場大病要女孩照顧終生,這更多的是惡劣龍傲天男主嗎🤧43Please respect copyright.PENANAeAP3WBGJ2D
43Please respect copyright.PENANAWtH0qjFq5k
43Please respect copyright.PENANAnbKFnNfBA4
43Please respect copyright.PENANAheZYY21DXT
另外就是有幾點建議:43Please respect copyright.PENANAuwclRGAhAO
43Please respect copyright.PENANADxrMAap1Tv
1.三篇區分,上、中、下,建議別分成第三人稱、第一人稱混用寫文,容易造成讀者混亂。43Please respect copyright.PENANA9MrSObZjox
43Please respect copyright.PENANA5G04pCu7qA
(對!!那個讀者正是我!!)43Please respect copyright.PENANA2trO1eZExP
43Please respect copyright.PENANAx3OQAv5s5m
2.形容某個特定的景物時候,冗字稍多,仍有改進空間,有時候這部分是需要一些適當的點綴即可的,因為你故事的主角不是它們。43Please respect copyright.PENANAy0H5TnfovG
43Please respect copyright.PENANAEFEK49sS84
3.女主角的思維可以再更細膩些,如多上一些自己的小脾氣等等,畢竟,上中下篇以三篇為起承轉合,應當可以更好發揮。43Please respect copyright.PENANABikb7rkcrN
43Please respect copyright.PENANAh5VEaV9Jyj
43Please respect copyright.PENANAYzQjcL6uDd
以上。