43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4SsghnVbe
▌類型 短文43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcqkQ16T51
▌作者 氦氣
▌第3篇
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6VAwXYDAT
末篇，以年邁的疾病纏身刻畫出女孩的不離不棄，更是難得可貴看出，通篇都是女孩無謂犧牲的偉大辛勞。43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HtP8Hc4x6
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeI2zjJ29Ui
冬戀湖的廟神，將兩人緣分再次相繫相聯，雖牽起了忘記了自己的那名男人的手，卻仍堅定自己的內心的想法。以冬，再次畫下落幕。43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAajzDSKtP
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgS1SVRfYO6
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYO7oJPnT5s
點評至此處，實在不忍想碎嘴一番。那男孩，丟下一句拋棄人家，然後一場大病要女孩照顧終生，這更多的是惡劣龍傲天男主嗎🤧43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAP3WBGJ2D
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtH0qjFq5k
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbKFnNfBA4
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheZYY21DXT
另外就是有幾點建議：43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwclRGAhAO
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxrMAap1Tv
1.三篇區分，上、中、下，建議別分成第三人稱、第一人稱混用寫文，容易造成讀者混亂。43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MrSObZjox
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5G04pCu7qA
（對！！那個讀者正是我！！）43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2trO1eZExP
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3OQAv5s5m
2.形容某個特定的景物時候，冗字稍多，仍有改進空間，有時候這部分是需要一些適當的點綴即可的，因為你故事的主角不是它們。43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0H5TnfovG
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFEK49sS84
3.女主角的思維可以再更細膩些，如多上一些自己的小脾氣等等，畢竟，上中下篇以三篇為起承轉合，應當可以更好發揮。43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBikb7rkcrN
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5VEaV9Jyj
43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzQjcL6uDd
以上。
