42Please respect copyright.PENANA5dyXOZ6jiB
▌類型 短文42Please respect copyright.PENANA2B1ZhvTGqo
▌作者 氦氣
▌第3篇
42Please respect copyright.PENANA0G8joWiQqW
末篇,以年邁的疾病纏身刻畫出女孩的不離不棄,更是難得可貴看出,通篇都是女孩無謂犧牲的偉大辛勞。42Please respect copyright.PENANA7QHp9Fwwmu
42Please respect copyright.PENANARRdT4OdeR1
冬戀湖的廟神,將兩人緣分再次相繫相聯,雖牽起了忘記了自己的那名男人的手,卻仍堅定自己的內心的想法。以冬,再次畫下落幕。42Please respect copyright.PENANACDBq0xaGiZ
42Please respect copyright.PENANAo1QF8f33hW
42Please respect copyright.PENANAbIN2YQcKDQ
點評至此處,實在不忍想碎嘴一番。那男孩,丟下一句拋棄人家,然後一場大病要女孩照顧終生,這更多的是惡劣龍傲天男主嗎🤧42Please respect copyright.PENANAGKVNQXT1DE
42Please respect copyright.PENANAvTaX9p3375
42Please respect copyright.PENANAhG6qWryqF4
42Please respect copyright.PENANAEt42Ki1Uda
另外就是有幾點建議:42Please respect copyright.PENANAdORnVYkV9Z
42Please respect copyright.PENANAYcdq03BQUK
1.三篇區分,上、中、下,建議別分成第三人稱、第一人稱混用寫文,容易造成讀者混亂。42Please respect copyright.PENANAYEGaVAfFQu
42Please respect copyright.PENANAi7PD8Ei8ti
(對!!那個讀者正是我!!)42Please respect copyright.PENANAyWByq4OrfK
42Please respect copyright.PENANA054rWR9YoU
2.形容某個特定的景物時候,冗字稍多,仍有改進空間,有時候這部分是需要一些適當的點綴即可的,因為你故事的主角不是它們。42Please respect copyright.PENANAVEYuLOcS1K
42Please respect copyright.PENANAYoAaJra6Zu
3.女主角的思維可以再更細膩些,如多上一些自己的小脾氣等等,畢竟,上中下篇以三篇為起承轉合,應當可以更好發揮。42Please respect copyright.PENANAtNBzVzbdTR
42Please respect copyright.PENANACjf2R9B0sy
42Please respect copyright.PENANAdURdxlfPaQ
以上。