我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼,但我未嚐半口,心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少,心越亂,人越躁。362Please respect copyright.PENANAaoOkVvMptb
362Please respect copyright.PENANApYUkWrojYM
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。362Please respect copyright.PENANA6Fqrn6JQm0
362Please respect copyright.PENANAJMyh3BWhJj
廳中老妻瞄我半眼,大概知道發生甚麼事,沒有作聲,繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。362Please respect copyright.PENANA2UkDD4V70m
362Please respect copyright.PENANAntzpTj95SL
滾水撞上茶葉,水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。362Please respect copyright.PENANAbsVQvYi2Hr
362Please respect copyright.PENANAZigVDt84Eq
壓力似乎一併消散。362Please respect copyright.PENANAo9oFjaevwC
362Please respect copyright.PENANAR0GCD9YUFs
茶盡。我再續杯。362Please respect copyright.PENANA6XX50Iiiln
362Please respect copyright.PENANA8dxf6xQlVS
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。362Please respect copyright.PENANApaxciJRNUI
362Please respect copyright.PENANAx45xio280i
嘆一口氣,慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分,而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。362Please respect copyright.PENANAOHBAJKtcAP
362Please respect copyright.PENANAGBCpWRNOrQ
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。362Please respect copyright.PENANAYqqhvq4vsy
362Please respect copyright.PENANAXDXV4xXx3e
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故,更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。362Please respect copyright.PENANArjHUsatJVT
362Please respect copyright.PENANAuEKqbpDcTs
夢醒一場空。362Please respect copyright.PENANAwGOVVQuTPs
362Please respect copyright.PENANAaopR88x14P
我本平庸,無甚專長,唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已,卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。362Please respect copyright.PENANAQkxoJxsmd1
362Please respect copyright.PENANAnrDKYj47J7
工作不順利時,我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上,所以被罵亦是無可厚非;人際關係不如意時,我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通,我該是表達能力最好的人;走倒運時,我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……362Please respect copyright.PENANAhTBGztkpPf
362Please respect copyright.PENANAuNR4MYTTRF
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。362Please respect copyright.PENANAl1BDmMKxN7
362Please respect copyright.PENANAew8d07jvN1
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。362Please respect copyright.PENANApvkPnxflW3
362Please respect copyright.PENANAAYLfgpvQG8
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前,我又嘆一口氣。362Please respect copyright.PENANA95J7hjmwEA
362Please respect copyright.PENANAN993vDt8Eh
我不曾長大,仍是幾十年前那個我,沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份,請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。362Please respect copyright.PENANACJZmsTLabI
362Please respect copyright.PENANATW8DhckSbs
我沾沾自喜。362Please respect copyright.PENANAgYHsGLa0Jg
362Please respect copyright.PENANAYv6nVlKfM2
細心回想,我當時已覺竅門不在天分,而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用,努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味,努力思考故事情節起伏,努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。362Please respect copyright.PENANAnR80UpmDIk
362Please respect copyright.PENANAI3NKdLnFdG
但我沒有向同學們坦白。362Please respect copyright.PENANAxcD51YEG1f
362Please respect copyright.PENANA39cBfSTKza
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。362Please respect copyright.PENANA9PGKvO08Vw
362Please respect copyright.PENANA6LKosWYrRl
努力,努力,努力。362Please respect copyright.PENANAwY6JLsp5c1
362Please respect copyright.PENANATABM0PEnlH
我的寫作技巧與日俱增,亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。362Please respect copyright.PENANA4OefwkEw48
362Please respect copyright.PENANAsWxehQ8WE9
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。362Please respect copyright.PENANAhhW2WJU2H8
362Please respect copyright.PENANA6bN5Vzv1lz
以為。362Please respect copyright.PENANAYkAQ8rQOM8
362Please respect copyright.PENANANVASW2t70o
告別校園後,我成為一個普通文職。普通收入,普通打扮,普通生活。362Please respect copyright.PENANAdzukMCnYza
362Please respect copyright.PENANAxokTyNQB9V
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。362Please respect copyright.PENANAB85ti8CgUR
362Please respect copyright.PENANAf25jjR7QaY
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份!我是多麼的獨特!362Please respect copyright.PENANAn1kIWpTqyr
362Please respect copyright.PENANA7q0jMUGDOJ
某夜下班回家,我泡了一壺水仙,乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾,我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心,那麼安寧,那麼快樂。362Please respect copyright.PENANASoE2lmUvbo
362Please respect copyright.PENANAJPDXo7zECA
我的作品感動了我。362Please respect copyright.PENANANSxhKrjjPA
362Please respect copyright.PENANAQMdsw6282X
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。362Please respect copyright.PENANAQa2GbFxTw0
362Please respect copyright.PENANAGF1WbGQKMO
幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊,我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問,變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗,一發不可收拾。362Please respect copyright.PENANA0YwlYjzngM
362Please respect copyright.PENANAjbn6G2zifL
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。362Please respect copyright.PENANAHGyo37jwDO
362Please respect copyright.PENANAkHVUXdjUFC
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……362Please respect copyright.PENANAAFlQ2grUh4
362Please respect copyright.PENANAvFGkfDzdaz
熱茶又涼了。362Please respect copyright.PENANA3Qh8q0GEgy
362Please respect copyright.PENANALGL5YJ0Pen
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。362Please respect copyright.PENANAyvD8bRloi2
362Please respect copyright.PENANA5zpRdjardV
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。362Please respect copyright.PENANAvZZKjgJ8yu
362Please respect copyright.PENANAT3TBCT9Fu8
我的作品只感動了我。362Please respect copyright.PENANAnnm54ZmjYz
362Please respect copyright.PENANAR5AxtpGfZy
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。362Please respect copyright.PENANAEMSsxrTi6U
才:才華
落:降低、下滑
備註:此篇收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
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