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天亮，上班。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5niavf4NJr
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpnpjCjUYA
擠進人山人海的車廂，心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物，我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟，好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRb0AJEDCoV
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxDiWO3l18
車廂一如往常，平穩中帶輕微搖晃，教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲，繼續進食，令人側目。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRp3v5jW4op
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOWf290xp4
食物的細碎，像沙子一樣，在人們毫不注意的情況下，悄然掉在地上，再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站，人們再肆意加以踐踏，令碎粉再度粉碎。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyxZIa3EAF
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoP12JraS5B
到站了，我有意無意地繞過人羣，「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉，心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上，我回頭望進車廂，想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉，但列車經已開駛。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFW7PBl2vV
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SOuEC3tvZ
看不見，罷。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoaFp309dl
天黑，下班。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhfq2iXUpR
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv08w5TDzEl
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂，繼續講上司的壞話。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzODIHHrQK
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHRebKXV7M
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlhKel7JYD
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSq7yiovgPU
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不！有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰？我看不見……我不想看見……252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPhMyv1hP9
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡif6vmIoqN9
「啪」的一聲，男同事一手拍在我的小腿上，那隻螞蟻——扁了。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96njDFngDQ
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlQj0FWx9H
「沒事了！」他笑了笑，問我：「你很怕小昆蟲？」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6E5v7ihyjs
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknIq95ObX0
「不，只是怕蟻。」我感覺到，我的唇還在顫抖，但卻仍勉力一笑。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2q6creXhS
公司，午飯時間。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesjZCZvS7C
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqF1vXibww
甲小姐正在上網看劇；乙先生在打盹；丙小姐外出吃飯去；丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒；戊小姐……252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7PsRpmCES
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOomfgvJ49
看著同事們的百態，我突然覺得自己和他們一樣，都是很渺小的生命體，小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事，尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌，不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎？那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別？252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOI1sCsbX0
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFxsueBNHE
驀地，我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過，卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上，讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失，我感到自己也消失了似的。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNsFJ4vdjd
其實，真正的我只是一隻螞蟻，不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己變成人類，過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活，是有目的的付出，有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑，多奢侈！無他，這就是意義。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcLxflSsm8
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqzBLWG5Qc
還是……252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2qiHPRS1s
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKb62CLDIZc
其實，真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己是一隻蟻，過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味，只懂一味尋找食物。無他，這就是生存！252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpd2WXfs8MN
公司，工作。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRxi4jG9Lv
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQlDKqbLpr
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSrJcAEBhX
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ASUGl3sQb
大家心知犯錯的不是我，奈何人是怕事的，只好把我推上斷頭台。事後，一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5X5jg411xy
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmc4UEnpNNb
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnn3WGmonmr
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxXnv4rEWZ
剛巧，一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzuzxAyw1m
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSX1KtURvrV
快意，笑了。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWehXEIdYhS
酒吧，喝酒。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRGSOFSu0X
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXHjf7ba29
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎？為何現在也怕酒起來？」男同事笑問。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNbk7qCEoI
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CQs4y9d5i
「其實，我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4DsRXIx9f
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUCgDrdQY0
「還是……你根本不會喝酒？」他哈哈大笑。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhzJSR7XkG
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcGYLXug9r
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲，我突然變得不大抗拒，乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvM21jPjB6L
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiunSGqHe1
醉倒。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WPP0TuyKS
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8z4vDemKE
迷糊間，我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體，不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲，想要到它的洞穴去……252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3VFPnNisU
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCP8ujG9QqH
「上天取走你的一扇門，定會留給你一扇窗。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FFsldz577
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lCZzB8Rbc
今趟，上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYlgZYmOBl
假期，醫院。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSGZdCcrFQ
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8a7cGD2OxP
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病，還未明確，因為報告要待下星期才會完成。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9dt8Ti0Eu
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmJ4cbcdSd
看見媽的時候，家中各人都是淚眼漣漣，很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkEiDRqtrM
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcGspOvPbV
「我覺得……」近幾天，媽的話都變得斷斷續續：「自己……」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJes1kuvL8Q
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3AQuYMC9W
大家都屏息靜氣，深怕這是她的最後一句話。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4nVjXm8Ie
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPjn07NUk8
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音，輕如柔絲，但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEaIL5gPr6
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbwt0uRtMp
死寂。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQaJ0AThCf
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxMavrjREp
出乎我意料，這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話，不論是肉體還是心靈上。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMivsfPum4a
回家，晚飯。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvzQwz8fVy
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2udpUMshkS
一枱六椅，異常的沉默。電視的聲浪，掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意，繼續吃。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAGREy1yGc
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnstvkJ34A
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子：「不如外出吃飯。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVpXPVH74z
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOc4hmU7GnU
妹放下筷子衝進房內，甩門；姨低下頭來，但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見；婆呆了，眼眶紅潤；我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1Oy0OfkBP
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGITgmyOy3
我心想：世界末日來臨後，地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻？252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmiuYINA9f
每次望著媽，心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣，彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDIEi1FLHd
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCe8qEFPoGk
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑！就是因為她是一隻螞蟻，所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭，去減輕她的負擔。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9V3BF5gdM
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AusYsGxzD
久而久之，我每次一見到她，便會掉頭走。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kIthW9HDR
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDjGPEO1y7
但我知道，我永沒能走遠。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpKWzLdXXt
男友家，床上。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nuue4uLEP
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5amn6hNsa
前奏後，男友進入極度興奮狀態，沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時，我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YNHBsqi0f
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qxuz9u2en
産房內有一張床，床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了，是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示，她要生産了。不消一會，整張床上都是幼蟻，恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRb4qUKn78y
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CORxydNyY
我驚恐萬分之際，耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音：「他朝君體也相同！」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzddb69SVUj
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRa8KzQFtL9
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮，於是更用力……252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDF89Wv7rW
舊生聚會，內地某酒家。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1atshVvB0
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3ZE8uoEus
說也奇怪，舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意，說會給我們驚喜。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcb4YYnHaar
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEATTIbwC2L
「蟻宴？」我呆了，但逃不了。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59reouGYB7
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpdbREeBU2
「你有收看《天與地》嗎？」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SZz7BPcjL
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hQvpiMcLt
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼！」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6Pm8Ufb5R
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTANBvzrpY
「結局何如？」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUSeSgkt7I
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYGouvzxkh
「沒好下場！」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoNrfk0oK2
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcfWanoubm
「對！沒好下場！」我在心裡重覆著，衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RrJycBVHB
男友有很多恐怖的寵物：蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時，他都會放一些寵物在床邊，以增加他的性趣。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisnMlUsQIp
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGboGpIHJyS
今趟，床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後，我不經意的問道：「你的寵物呢？」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTYeG9MXqU
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEYa942rHI
「在你體內。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5gOeHydIw
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2h8XnTExQN
「甚麼？」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ927SuAHHhZ
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuyFkE3vOT
「蟻。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXf1YRz67UP
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGEVJ0jAAu
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9t0KrETAi
它平常會做甚麼？做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯，它會做的事真的很多，但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活！它最好立刻消失！252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kOEOXIUPn
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCOebjclbO
結果，我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWqK4TLPTE
靈堂上，我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4Cp4Qkrod
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5JXOSwqDm
「她真的死了嗎？」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊，但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCY0DNyEtuH
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSsr9fxQPo
「誰？」另一聲音反問。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUWjU2o91h
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTwBTgdhbl
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道：「她……」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvlY2tjOPN
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQWJ9cXA1T
靜。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9ikc7GkWt
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0a215JXE8
我回過神來，低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFayaxourw
我：「我的耳朵有毛病嗎？為何會聽到螞蟻講話？」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSITJrJfz60
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIk0lwuvku
醫：「不。是你的壓力過大，導致有幻聽。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0f6dp5mI1d
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnvg1nT0s3
我：「我有精神病？」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkDEtkC74G
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbF7BaO8Hj
醫：「是情緒病。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAFbxdK9HC
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnCRBgo6OT
我：「怎麼辦？」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfhNTQZvsZ
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9t3NIjduD5
醫：「我會處方一些藥物，你要按時服用；另外，你也要多休息……」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKFlGITP4e
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRoumxiicMo
我：「謝謝醫生。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuCKCLr1JA
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7A1ayngq9
醫：「不用謝。」252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByvH1QgewR
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhh5paxUp1
離開診所時，我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfl3IswERkr
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTh8JxYA8U
不，我走近細看，是「虫馬虫義」專科。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUMM60lgyo
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻？252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZTxdilloJ
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1cUWBk5kx
醫生替我作身體檢查，一切正常；252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNrbhAJMqV
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWKCVPPY7u
男友向我解釋，螞蟻之說，純粹幽默；252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzV0Dz9VSxR
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAbTtJW5Bv
同事都勸我休息，減少工作量；252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYi2njMNa0
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVSyHxNqaE
……252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4boVDEHJz
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5E7X8Eo5M
「真的有蟻在我體內！」我尖叫，奪門而出，從天台一躍而下，肝腦塗地。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbt3PM0ONoT
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcXTKPG7kr
臨死前，我看見那東西了——不是蟻，是……
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》。若此舉違規，煩請創挑主通知，願刪文。252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD82McwF1qx
