x
天亮，上班。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3SrCxCuyM
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GyiJNUxBK
擠進人山人海的車廂，心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物，我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟，好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjAGHgvDob
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LA20VPLIQ
車廂一如往常，平穩中帶輕微搖晃，教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲，繼續進食，令人側目。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyi5Bnc1QGk
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhvDWPFskd
食物的細碎，像沙子一樣，在人們毫不注意的情況下，悄然掉在地上，再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站，人們再肆意加以踐踏，令碎粉再度粉碎。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBZoyg6y1I
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx402OdYPPm
到站了，我有意無意地繞過人羣，「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉，心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上，我回頭望進車廂，想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉，但列車經已開駛。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvufdbdWT7E
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZE4RgZlpW
看不見，罷。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8eRkb8FyR
天黑，下班。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopYupotzNY
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUl5xYYvSuA
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂，繼續講上司的壞話。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDdbuLsTIa
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OipvbltXs
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0Bynd8sSx
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLG74QqZnu
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不！有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰？我看不見……我不想看見……231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYaR6BIvQm
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRVT5qLWPG
「啪」的一聲，男同事一手拍在我的小腿上，那隻螞蟻——扁了。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJwxyKtLvf
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzniVV9hUu
「沒事了！」他笑了笑，問我：「你很怕小昆蟲？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRREqM83e5c
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ772uAZEDjK
「不，只是怕蟻。」我感覺到，我的唇還在顫抖，但卻仍勉力一笑。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lYTJXluWm
公司，午飯時間。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYeZoxu6xN
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WrivOh79C
甲小姐正在上網看劇；乙先生在打盹；丙小姐外出吃飯去；丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒；戊小姐……231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBCKhRHjx5
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFLGQulG4k
看著同事們的百態，我突然覺得自己和他們一樣，都是很渺小的生命體，小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事，尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌，不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎？那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別？231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVca2ffaKD1
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDFTLUQPP3
驀地，我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過，卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上，讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失，我感到自己也消失了似的。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjKa7Cb1dq
其實，真正的我只是一隻螞蟻，不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己變成人類，過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活，是有目的的付出，有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑，多奢侈！無他，這就是意義。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPbQEa7edj
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDFJQdrwUF
還是……231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxW8XHdkS0p
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwJZMjDtxj
其實，真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己是一隻蟻，過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味，只懂一味尋找食物。無他，這就是生存！231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIfNzcQJ0h
公司，工作。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONXLLkCO1t
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfq38AyUfK
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yVCWhGrGs
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uGQvpkdOz
大家心知犯錯的不是我，奈何人是怕事的，只好把我推上斷頭台。事後，一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RpCCZBjwB
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkFMHrL3El
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOcc0EfEqW
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8q6VDjTL3
剛巧，一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjoGDQ4L2AF
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrx8uLOQUU
快意，笑了。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngjePxDNh8
酒吧，喝酒。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObAgaa2imc
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuJyacT6qx
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎？為何現在也怕酒起來？」男同事笑問。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1oJGh8jyz
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxJ6hYjacI
「其實，我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bwR2FrkzC
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBgiPxybLo
「還是……你根本不會喝酒？」他哈哈大笑。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UPG4AjZAi
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBO8zIVUiN
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲，我突然變得不大抗拒，乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJ0Mk6WZh5
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0wEzV0hYs
醉倒。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3YMKJGi85
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJG70JK3t89
迷糊間，我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體，不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲，想要到它的洞穴去……231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDZsXI74Xh
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIphMFQlki
「上天取走你的一扇門，定會留給你一扇窗。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHBTM4vgmm
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcg8uuhGy5
今趟，上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYpX9NuNK3
假期，醫院。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTHyMtVJD4
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IZEI8hsPW
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病，還未明確，因為報告要待下星期才會完成。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuYumOKrYs
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBwedfc5In
看見媽的時候，家中各人都是淚眼漣漣，很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyV2YDiQFvk
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ioW1o5rIw
「我覺得……」近幾天，媽的話都變得斷斷續續：「自己……」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI69nAEpxlE
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oObnwF79m
大家都屏息靜氣，深怕這是她的最後一句話。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVTMNFyDTv
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLyarLTMiv
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音，輕如柔絲，但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TiDRKajbX
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj12clFyiqM
死寂。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaHKBb7VdM
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawxO6xIl29
出乎我意料，這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話，不論是肉體還是心靈上。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAHRuGN0yW
回家，晚飯。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoUYcT7d5B
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRI4zQ5cxSl
一枱六椅，異常的沉默。電視的聲浪，掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意，繼續吃。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJQp9C93fS
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fvXIxie5t
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子：「不如外出吃飯。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVvbqLXVdi
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqji7IRYij
妹放下筷子衝進房內，甩門；姨低下頭來，但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見；婆呆了，眼眶紅潤；我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCUm5JCFgD
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EZg6Baju2
我心想：世界末日來臨後，地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻？231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwHwa1ZjZ0
每次望著媽，心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣，彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBvWenPUFq
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJTx0KNc07
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑！就是因為她是一隻螞蟻，所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭，去減輕她的負擔。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquq30WQzPU
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ234hA85EwN
久而久之，我每次一見到她，便會掉頭走。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUcJGB6FyW
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfGWYMI7uY
但我知道，我永沒能走遠。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0apOv5K4c
男友家，床上。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIH4zKccwPQ
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2veOnUkfT7
前奏後，男友進入極度興奮狀態，沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時，我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCsd4nThnF
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCbZJ0TFKo
産房內有一張床，床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了，是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示，她要生産了。不消一會，整張床上都是幼蟻，恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBjwUncTzy
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbpC9QxQXw
我驚恐萬分之際，耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音：「他朝君體也相同！」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hKEpwltRW
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVakN7w9Kq
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮，於是更用力……231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7p0gc8ws5
舊生聚會，內地某酒家。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPOjD1TV3b
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKhsaSWHl4
說也奇怪，舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意，說會給我們驚喜。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGsHEpIA12
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0qoAHWYmn
「蟻宴？」我呆了，但逃不了。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuw2YplEMuR
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGE1am8AVg4
「你有收看《天與地》嗎？」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5PAegUbc7
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMkLFvSw7r
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼！」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡommkpmyGLb
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVdupNtM1E
「結局何如？」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XvVe1WeXR
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wz0GOzFv7
「沒好下場！」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzjHGRMjcH
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Wjf6VRTjm
「對！沒好下場！」我在心裡重覆著，衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtepd47ZTQY
男友有很多恐怖的寵物：蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時，他都會放一些寵物在床邊，以增加他的性趣。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAxAZWNw2D
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjomDrewzIB
今趟，床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後，我不經意的問道：「你的寵物呢？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOZ8aIWdhv
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjODR2PlY98
「在你體內。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7k9b8Oz2rF
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrrfT8fsKr
「甚麼？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1Jnnnzckf
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCtmmEqyIO
「蟻。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFFTaFKKdE
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSCsPTEvJQ
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80MuFMAzsX
它平常會做甚麼？做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯，它會做的事真的很多，但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活！它最好立刻消失！231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwFDJvXd6j
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10ZEVfk7gx
結果，我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgNF2I3HdO
靈堂上，我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7t0w87NSq
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdFaBIDnuV
「她真的死了嗎？」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊，但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrAsQthU42
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1A7MGVREX
「誰？」另一聲音反問。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xzzqVmvwz
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfA63txjGa5
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道：「她……」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptSDogZWT8
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9WH029vNt
靜。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVHxK0qBvG
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEze27c6Y6W
我回過神來，低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9p8XeHM4Ye
我：「我的耳朵有毛病嗎？為何會聽到螞蟻講話？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gtTmmsySS
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHiyrk4BDz
醫：「不。是你的壓力過大，導致有幻聽。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxJaN7jEm8
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGM9Nkuqhl
我：「我有精神病？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRLaSleh9h
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8lZkvf5y4
醫：「是情緒病。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsGHo9wfXJ
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSWATpSmh1
我：「怎麼辦？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHfsm9Ad9i
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvvtCiSBTx
醫：「我會處方一些藥物，你要按時服用；另外，你也要多休息……」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ130qgmmyTy
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdm9h4M0me
我：「謝謝醫生。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXHaE7kyIe
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5xkM2Yl4O
醫：「不用謝。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAcpMtilZy
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QpIrb7onX
離開診所時，我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEzYGaOi76
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzshSnfhf95
不，我走近細看，是「虫馬虫義」專科。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xumfanAX6
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻？231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEe8VpZmVtL
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNvTYCzs9i
醫生替我作身體檢查，一切正常；231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnPv8VMN5t
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0MAmADNGl
男友向我解釋，螞蟻之說，純粹幽默；231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtPzmYaZeW
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyW7C8Ny5ch
同事都勸我休息，減少工作量；231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOllrNDr4LQ
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaGcYiLD1g
……231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkfcKzzieY
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4dlM1efCb
「真的有蟻在我體內！」我尖叫，奪門而出，從天台一躍而下，肝腦塗地。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjrAxjZ8Dd
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUGh8TMqNV
臨死前，我看見那東西了——不是蟻，是……
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》。若此舉違規，煩請創挑主通知，願刪文。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtJzLRUp88
