她從未理解過被愛的感受。259Please respect copyright.PENANAIfmj3oygCL
259Please respect copyright.PENANAew8dUaH0ih
對於歧視的表現,年幼的孩童們往往展現的比大人們還要露骨。259Please respect copyright.PENANAKs6870Ufam
小學時期,無論是男孩們的棒球遊戲,抑或是女孩們的家家酒,對方總是露出為難的表情而拒絕讓她參與。259Please respect copyright.PENANAemXCJCsnnV
絕大部分的時間她都是一個人塗鴉度過,但這段時期仍算是相安無事。259Please respect copyright.PENANA5wiLpa4tLw
259Please respect copyright.PENANAIJuLcVVPOl
剛升上三年級時,不知道是哪個孩子開始帶頭偷偷嘲笑起她眼鏡上的髒污。259Please respect copyright.PENANAs5M1Q6J6Rs
明明也有其他戴著眼鏡的孩子,卻只有她得忍受從四處隱隱約約傳來的嘲諷。259Please respect copyright.PENANA2DULa08omt
即便她花了整整一個晚上試著擦拭油垢,到隔天還是遭到一樣的對待後,她才體認到被針對的並非物品,而是配戴著眼鏡的個人。259Please respect copyright.PENANA232Ulsbbl4
外型並不出色的她一旦成了標靶,種種惡意就不約而同地從周遭匯集而來。259Please respect copyright.PENANAZIOqkUOPKF
儘管受到許多不堪的對待,她也只是選擇默默承受,從未向那對埋首於工作中的雙親傾訴過此事。259Please respect copyright.PENANAZmVrcK0Ii8
259Please respect copyright.PENANAiBKGmKs11Y
當時年輕的女班導雖然有所察及,卻也為了避免麻煩裝作視而不見。259Please respect copyright.PENANAEuRlIwWTe7
反正只要事情沒有鬧大就不成問題。259Please respect copyright.PENANA0eHnrnHxSI
表面上看到課本被塗滿塗鴉,又或著是端著營養午餐時被絆倒。259Please respect copyright.PENANAGBVJx1a0Rd
既然沒有造成明顯的傷勢,當事人也不曾對此發表意見,解讀成孩子們的小打小鬧倒也還說得過去。259Please respect copyright.PENANAcLPu0KmNZH
259Please respect copyright.PENANA7bDqHlAAKa
對她而言唯一的救贖,就只有從小時候起便不曾停過的繪畫。259Please respect copyright.PENANANSTDRwRzWN
她總是一個人流著眼淚,將自身的冀望寄託於那不被外界所污染,完全任由自己勾勒的圖畫世界。259Please respect copyright.PENANAFgsHxVooyu
將身體的挫傷以線稿舒緩。259Please respect copyright.PENANADTDYM0idht
把內心的不甘以著色潤飾。259Please respect copyright.PENANA1AYn9qiZHI
她就在這被人反覆剝開傷痂的日子裡,渡過了一般人稱為童年的時期。259Please respect copyright.PENANAsn25dMGrVa
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所幸在升上五年級後,她遇到了一名負責教授體育的導師。259Please respect copyright.PENANA05iTx96pjE
體態雖然因邁入中年而顯得有些肥胖,但有著剛毅性格的導師,在發現了些許異樣後,立即以嚴正的態度教育了那些欺負她的學生。259Please respect copyright.PENANAPreJ0orzAN
259Please respect copyright.PENANArczJIdcpST
「對自己有信心一點。」259Please respect copyright.PENANAn8G4PToY1b
這是到小學畢業之前,沉默寡言的導師私底下對她唯一說過的話。259Please respect copyright.PENANAISZ3h3e5Yw
259Please respect copyright.PENANASbaigb9YWB
謹記著恩師的那句認可,讓勉強跨出步伐的她也結交到了足以稱為知心的好友。259Please respect copyright.PENANAqz4uGhrM17
一路到她升上高中為止,都過著過去從不敢奢求過,與平常人無異的校園生活。259Please respect copyright.PENANAEBKGaLUd8V
然而,就如同小學時期絕大部份的朋友一樣。259Please respect copyright.PENANAhouMzC6kjM
即使是共同分享所有秘密的好友,雖然不是出於本意,但在結識了新的朋友以後,也不會對自己完全地敞開心房。259Please respect copyright.PENANAFOilPw00dN
雖然覺得有些寂寞,但她更願意將其理解為無可奈何的成長過程。259Please respect copyright.PENANA8ASQeeTBLB
可是啊,最近的自己同樣無暇顧及到朋友也是不爭的事實──259Please respect copyright.PENANAuWRiA6nfWd
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「畫得真好啊,這個。」259Please respect copyright.PENANAzqJDUtuYBU
那是在夕陽西下的校園裡,意外撿到自己畫冊的那名學長所說的第一句話。259Please respect copyright.PENANALePwf43AQo
259Please respect copyright.PENANAuG9N3zejun
體型高大的學長的身份在學校裡無人不知。259Please respect copyright.PENANAL71N2wENH9
身為棒球隊裡的王牌投手,她早已聽過無數次關於學長的豐功偉業。259Please respect copyright.PENANA55udvP2dV3
或許是出自命運的安排,那名學長和當年幫助自己的班導好巧不巧地有著相同的姓氏。259Please respect copyright.PENANALHCkZdTp00
明明和自己是完全相反的存在,卻一點架子都沒有的學長,溫柔地將畫冊用雙手遞給了她。259Please respect copyright.PENANA0HVE3Jgiqj
259Please respect copyright.PENANAr6oRWIIGpi
等到她意識到心跳不已的時候,抱著已經交還回來的畫冊,一個人獨自站在走廊上。259Please respect copyright.PENANAbJvJuDZBHZ
259Please respect copyright.PENANAmqYnELxxYP
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那是她第一次體驗到戀愛的感受──259Please respect copyright.PENANAqrjWKJl79G
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◇259Please respect copyright.PENANA4aspIsAJdQ
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259Please respect copyright.PENANAbF7qYezqkO
「喂!別想給我裝死啊!」259Please respect copyright.PENANAnczewc0Sbi
突然湧入鼻腔的溺斃感迫使她從過去的夢境驚醒過來。259Please respect copyright.PENANAAjIjdzadEy
259Please respect copyright.PENANAPJYAD32822
「咳、咳咳咳……!」259Please respect copyright.PENANA7LC2dR60QF
激烈的咳嗽過後,癱坐在地上的她才認知到自己目前身處的狀況。259Please respect copyright.PENANAbTvV8SWXlr
大塚寧寧用手將她的臉壓在小便斗裡。259Please respect copyright.PENANAjY9cZ9SoJs
被髮絲黏附著的臉頰緊貼著冰冷的陶瓷,沿著內壁留下來的水不斷澆在她的臉上,而動彈不得的身體毫無反抗的餘地。259Please respect copyright.PENANAbe8ba70nxi
259Please respect copyright.PENANAz4cb5qR9bR
……全身都好痛。259Please respect copyright.PENANAZauBCaRwwY
這是第幾次了呢,她的意識連要想起來都覺得有些困難。259Please respect copyright.PENANAD2h1JJFrIY
只能像是個布偶般被這兩名少女肆意地拳打腳踢。259Please respect copyright.PENANAH31HfA6EBf
雖然這次惡劣的程度和先前幾次完全無法相比,但在本質上來說,和童年的種種之間並沒有什麼太大差別。259Please respect copyright.PENANA4SmivMZ5YI
只要忍耐到她們覺得膩了自然就會結束。259Please respect copyright.PENANAUSDtBaNuXT
大聲呼救的話,只會讓下次的遊戲變得更加喪心病狂,這是她從過去的經驗中所記取的教訓。259Please respect copyright.PENANAp8zD6GQBGz
259Please respect copyright.PENANAfxKAkc6L04
「我說美悠,接下來要怎麼做?」259Please respect copyright.PENANAHNTxMEfqAU
大塚寧寧將臉轉向在角落盯著手機螢幕的佐伯美悠。259Please respect copyright.PENANAnRGr9Oc8gz
在黑暗中發亮的長方形螢幕,將少女臉上染上一層詭譎的灰白色彩,而她目前正專注在螢幕的對話框中,經過彩繪的指甲飛快地在上面輸入文字。259Please respect copyright.PENANAs7ozxj6fzM
259Please respect copyright.PENANAMrpNsN6Vuj
「嗯。就像之前一樣讓她打掃環境好了,好煩,妳先自己想一想,我這邊正看到一個有趣的消息啦。」259Please respect copyright.PENANAKxtCS4JG92
少女頭也不抬地,隨意地對大塚寧寧下達命令。259Please respect copyright.PENANAuZZrmXw5en
259Please respect copyright.PENANAiVB8AXnM1a
「上次那個?喔~那還不簡單,喂──聽見沒有,美悠要說好好打掃環境知不知道啊?」259Please respect copyright.PENANAffhpJ53pNm
「什……嗚!」259Please respect copyright.PENANAfADWLbQGgd
她才發出一絲絲聲音,施暴的少女就在手上加重了力道。259Please respect copyright.PENANAsoyk1sDPJ1
259Please respect copyright.PENANADlOn60jmjA
「誰說可以回話了?啊?平常打掃不到的地方可要好好清理對吧,先從最不容易清理的縫隙開始給我舔。」259Please respect copyright.PENANAWUcu9R6tra
鼻尖被壓到小便斗底端的溝槽上。259Please respect copyright.PENANAb0UaSuqXCo
即便內心千百萬個不願意,但一想到接下來可能的暴行,她還是抗拒地慢慢伸出舌頭。259Please respect copyright.PENANAU74eH6WvGY
259Please respect copyright.PENANAyckPKxEhhQ
「噗,美悠美悠,快點來看!真的舔下去了耶!」259Please respect copyright.PENANA5MZudZoZxW
「不是說我在忙了嗎──咦?舔下去了?真的假的,有夠噁心耶,哈哈哈!到底有沒有這麼聽話啦!等等,讓我先拍下來,笑死人了!」259Please respect copyright.PENANAg8S6BlfvEj
「噫─!」259Please respect copyright.PENANAbIwu3PS1LZ
「躲什麼躲嘛!欸,沒想到拍的還不錯耶,好~信件發送!」259Please respect copyright.PENANAQtKl3kuXNz
「到底是在跟誰聊啊,美悠?從剛剛就沒停過耶,啊,難不成是上次聯誼的男生?」259Please respect copyright.PENANAFgVbSFq8BM
「那些廢物怎麼可能嘛……哎,等我一下,他打過來了。喂喂,野宮學長~」259Please respect copyright.PENANAHALyIRZKof
從佐伯美悠口中最後說出的那個姓氏,讓她不由得瞪大了眼睛。259Please respect copyright.PENANAfmSj4zUrMy
不良少女帶著壞心的笑臉看了過來。259Please respect copyright.PENANAXEiMD4SaOf
259Please respect copyright.PENANAz1EInVn1c8
「什麼呀~所以連學長的父親都說過很麻煩嘛,真是的,果然是從小學開始就讓人厭煩呢。」259Please respect copyright.PENANAC8bsfCJdy4
突然之間,她覺得自己的意識像是從飽受疼痛的身體裡被抽離了一樣。259Please respect copyright.PENANAshZqZFlU0H
剛剛,所說的話是什麼意思。259Please respect copyright.PENANAK5DlFyK1WY
學長的父親是指什麼……?259Please respect copyright.PENANAFhVQKPf83q
明明應該是和自己毫不相關的人吧……?259Please respect copyright.PENANA8EcSbdM6Tv
為什麼要說麻煩什麼的……?259Please respect copyright.PENANAJft4NSjzsg
259Please respect copyright.PENANArstR4IZcnW
「咦~~人家才不要,這種話要說你自己說,才不管你勒!嘻,真的要嗎?好啊,等我切換成視訊給你──」259Please respect copyright.PENANAvDWFccINnF
佐伯美悠在假裝完抱怨以後,將原本靠在耳旁的手機遞到她的面前。259Please respect copyright.PENANAWmZ7Hl0DBr
黑暗中那發亮的長形方格中所連接的另一端,出現的是身處在房間裡,她所愛慕的那名學長的臉孔。259Please respect copyright.PENANABFxM2SeBVP
但是,卻和平常所看到的並不相同。259Please respect copyright.PENANAwSzzdYRPSO
原本應該是帶著和藹笑容的圓臉上,如今卻一臉鄙視的表情與她對望著。259Please respect copyright.PENANAYO8lFsxWhV
259Please respect copyright.PENANA04kZ3jJMnv
「說真的,突然那樣告白讓我感到很困擾啊,不,應該說是覺得噁心了才對。」259Please respect copyright.PENANAHNzZBVYQmA
259Please respect copyright.PENANAp0nAaF7JXs
「我可是被隊友們狠狠地嘲笑了一番啊。」259Please respect copyright.PENANA4MIXYw0goD
259Please respect copyright.PENANA5J07macayd
「萬一害我在比賽中失常怎麼辦,難怪我家那老頭說是只會招引麻煩的傢伙,要不是為了小學的教育評鑑根本不想浪費時間。」259Please respect copyright.PENANABwTZ47AcFa
從學長嘴裡接二連三吐出的真實,硬生生地將她重要的回憶敲得粉碎。259Please respect copyright.PENANARXPRT5ACPD
259Please respect copyright.PENANAfJmsxE7V3s
然後,她總算發現到了。259Please respect copyright.PENANATXkkOj7ZrP
當初幫助自己的老師並非沉默寡言,而是根本懶得理會身為異類的自己。259Please respect copyright.PENANAOZoq5JvdHP
那番「對自己有信心一點」的言論,並非特意給予自己的認可,充其量只是省得學生再惹麻煩,隨便敷衍了事的慰問而已。259Please respect copyright.PENANAhVYHBOidqj
259Please respect copyright.PENANArkpkrayCw4
「咦──怎麼,哈,這傢伙居然哭了耶~」259Please respect copyright.PENANAGFNpOyrOCp
「哎呀,都怪野宮學長你說得太過分了,不好好愛護人家怎麼可以呢~」259Please respect copyright.PENANAxfdgzLl1cA
「喂喂喂,什麼話嘛美悠,妳也替我想想啊,我只不過撿到一本破爛畫冊就惹上這種麻煩耶。」259Please respect copyright.PENANA8rjQHF5WMb
三人大笑的聲音在狹小的空間裡迴盪著。259Please respect copyright.PENANAdbs7vkqPQH
她維持著原來的姿勢一動也不動,眼睜睜地直視著這個無比醜陋的現實。259Please respect copyright.PENANAX1hoq4nx4t
259Please respect copyright.PENANArQW0902e8T
……好想死。259Please respect copyright.PENANAtl1T0qRWWe
真的,好想要死去。259Please respect copyright.PENANAwy6P30YEQs
受夠這爛到不行的人生了。259Please respect copyright.PENANAAwnXYoasyn
259Please respect copyright.PENANADC78yFkHJq
反正已經一無所有。259Please respect copyright.PENANAmqwK6Hk5up
自己不被任何人所愛,亦不被任何人所需要。259Please respect copyright.PENANAVkGnU7tESt
一直以來所認知的世界全是謊言,和那些繪畫一樣都是自己虛構的愚蠢妄想。259Please respect copyright.PENANARO5gvSfmua
活著盡是碰到些痛苦不堪的事情,那倒不如死掉還來得輕鬆多不是嗎。259Please respect copyright.PENANANfYcUcC8lt
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但是,在那之前。259Please respect copyright.PENANAsj7VGUXv7I
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──我要把妳們這些人全都殺了。259Please respect copyright.PENANAbHUFTI6ULP
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/ Xanadu Xanthochroi and Yuka259Please respect copyright.PENANAPslWusMs5Y