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秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnCzWxgm9c
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiNxYuUg8F
「完好？」現在的她問。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiC8o61h7z
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIWBfbg8ac
「無缺？」曾經的他問。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsuCcOPqUI
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWW6V04eIct
很多人說他生活美滿。家境富裕，頭腦聰明，五官英氣，身材高大。聞言他總是假笑，笑對方客氣得過份。奈何對方從未察覺他的笑容雖假，情感卻是真實而強烈的：他的確認為對方很過份。他想要的從不是這種生活，可惜每次對此表示厭棄時，總有人批評他不知足。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmcpYt0pIM
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVl6aEJzv0F
輕嘆一聲，繼續前行。踏踏踏，沙沙沙，聲聲撕心裂肺。像父母的哭罵，令人痛，也令人愧疚不安。無論他們如何呼天搶地，他終究永遠不會回來。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDX0tpSC1q1
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxF8ysjEcth
遷入新居，展開新生。吃力，困難。已然表達得很清楚，對方還是假裝不知該使用哪個稱謂。有人說不介意，有人說很平常，話題和目光卻只停留在胯下之物。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBff0RmLhqS
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwZjt22nt3
無處訴說的孤獨日夜縈繞不散。曾發誓永不後悔，曾以為自己是多麼堅毅勇敢，曾相信世界其實不是那麼單一而絕情……172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNC96Mmkzm7
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLitLZYg2zG
步出公園，拐了幾個街口，來到醫院門前。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDsIpqBlkt
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkZ5GM8T0R
「醫生，早晨。」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpW52X9Gf5O
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQ2cgYS27f
「早晨。近來身體好嗎？」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOaVxtafih
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAC0TraZyKX
「好……不過……」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3axROyexT
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xTtFcoAo4
「不過甚麼？」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjn0LNY5ml
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9G9XCamE6
「我想再做手術。」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYmEy39zIS
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26e9eNCo4q
「為甚麼？」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmR0PRSa5b1
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQcyeeQFQd
「不適應現在的生活。」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5G6XRcWwxf
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN57959y0IO
「不適應身體的變化或是有其他困難？」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7hpHs9ZgD
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVX1K19aKw
「是生活上的困難……其實我很滿意現在的身體，我覺得這才是真正的自己！過往的我根本不是我！可惜旁人都不是這麼認為……」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmkvz4gZqn
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJs0Awc3gn
「所以你想要回以前的性別？」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasKT3k6MXu
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAB8QbxA9zo
「不——我是不想要任何性別。」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXbCvp81UY
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAK4hhcuQa
「噢……抱歉我還未能捕捉到你的思路。」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVAu02ItEf
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoD2kpHECwk
「這些日子，我遇到的問題大都源於旁人無法定徹底認同我是男或女。如果我沒有特定性別，可以在『男』、『女』、『跨性別』、『無性別』幾個類別之間遊走，可能會更自由！」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWM4JBuQB8
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNI5f0Ik5cg
「依我看來，你再次做手術之後，將要面對的問題會更多更嚴重。」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHb9VB8iIMe
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡet7RLQCYAq
「我理解你的意思，但我還是想要放手一搏——我堅信每次改變都會帶來新的可能、新的希望。」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkdtf8sIhL
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLpuQeFQtJ
「既然你堅持，我會按程序寫信轉介你去心理輔導部門作專業評估。」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyX258NuOR3
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibNMdTo2Vp
「謝謝你。」172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboDmv2EOAn
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9p0uoe8py0
跟醫生多聊一會後，她步出醫院，再次走經公園。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQWg4Y48EU
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7NB5ZlFjA
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9Ds2RBRJs
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesb4dloWnL
「以前未完好。」現在的她說。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYBbOUIG3o
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhM1BLzFN9
「將來會無缺。」曾經的他說。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnXbPU0zvW
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9CCrdkXJL
她笑了，笑自己傻，笑自己依然沉浸在幻想世界當中，相信自己的人生將來一定會變得完好無缺。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3W3apbLdqD
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16Ol7JeF1u
明知無人能斷言明天一定會更好。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTT0AyYajL
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWsUH2gilY
奈何人總需要一個努力的原因、一個繼續活下去的原因。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZMd141WMZ
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxiMjgYgE0
那個原因名為「希望」。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtN3CVm6V0
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqIf8YEuP0
「我定要繼續努力。」現在的她說。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoKj3LcdNa
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64MPSdzkXe
「好好活下去吧。」曾經的他說。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvx3cxb9d3N
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7FP7cpnOC
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOJ2wNxaVo
172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcOB1E1TB8
她慢步於公園大道，放眼欣賞沿路風景，不再留意地上的枯葉。
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》
ns52.15.154.142da2
