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秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2R6o29c3V
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUb6DfE3eE
「完好？」現在的她問。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00s6IdUyTi
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujoKndZ9K2
「無缺？」曾經的他問。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3W10h6g7Z
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQrEkOTUhd
很多人說他生活美滿。家境富裕，頭腦聰明，五官英氣，身材高大。聞言他總是假笑，笑對方客氣得過份。奈何對方從未察覺他的笑容雖假，情感卻是真實而強烈的：他的確認為對方很過份。他想要的從不是這種生活，可惜每次對此表示厭棄時，總有人批評他不知足。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MPQkcfWOK
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauj5ho9kCF
輕嘆一聲，繼續前行。踏踏踏，沙沙沙，聲聲撕心裂肺。像父母的哭罵，令人痛，也令人愧疚不安。無論他們如何呼天搶地，他終究永遠不會回來。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZ4YvhpWcT
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGc15swmuG
遷入新居，展開新生。吃力，困難。已然表達得很清楚，對方還是假裝不知該使用哪個稱謂。有人說不介意，有人說很平常，話題和目光卻只停留在胯下之物。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0oXj5tonJ
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZWwSRBYtV
無處訴說的孤獨日夜縈繞不散。曾發誓永不後悔，曾以為自己是多麼堅毅勇敢，曾相信世界其實不是那麼單一而絕情……183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRU4XIa8w2y
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AEraEd1Nb
步出公園，拐了幾個街口，來到醫院門前。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRjwZItKji
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezmp01KCTc
「醫生，早晨。」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOts8YuJnk3
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhHLe8gGHc
「早晨。近來身體好嗎？」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0svlfSm4Mh
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsllDiSCt7T
「好……不過……」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5N89rZ9ub4
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrL6FGJ9jY
「不過甚麼？」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtt25zTZovb
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcBRdQuLw2
「我想再做手術。」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGSs8QQafn
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixXds5v19s
「為甚麼？」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwwQxp7WYe
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YtTl0i1wY
「不適應現在的生活。」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuk2qsknPGn
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2k5C1olXvH
「不適應身體的變化或是有其他困難？」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkEbGjF5LK
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVA9FSceo4
「是生活上的困難……其實我很滿意現在的身體，我覺得這才是真正的自己！過往的我根本不是我！可惜旁人都不是這麼認為……」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtxDO79XtO
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvxCC5WJdu
「所以你想要回以前的性別？」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdJXbz7cv0
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zDrbxSSmS
「不——我是不想要任何性別。」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfoGAQpwDu
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuVeYXxjAs
「噢……抱歉我還未能捕捉到你的思路。」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDSytl6PT0
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsu5KIus8bo
「這些日子，我遇到的問題大都源於旁人無法定徹底認同我是男或女。如果我沒有特定性別，可以在『男』、『女』、『跨性別』、『無性別』幾個類別之間遊走，可能會更自由！」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8j0rJmErW
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEnDCWjxuU
「依我看來，你再次做手術之後，將要面對的問題會更多更嚴重。」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCp4kcX8xt
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88SDmOFQvV
「我理解你的意思，但我還是想要放手一搏——我堅信每次改變都會帶來新的可能、新的希望。」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI10P3MpjIw
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8gHLSvasQ
「既然你堅持，我會按程序寫信轉介你去心理輔導部門作專業評估。」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4LqbGXpRb
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXPdNE5Mvz
「謝謝你。」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjq9L4jSvH2
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiF4edtjnB
跟醫生多聊一會後，她步出醫院，再次走經公園。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzFmCpMtuQ
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ELQwM3Lkh
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6I5onzyu9
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLDWxtTmwd
「以前未完好。」現在的她說。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRvDMtJthl
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDZxMLd1lI
「將來會無缺。」曾經的他說。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9AnTvH1jh
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLmSs0lmIw
她笑了，笑自己傻，笑自己依然沉浸在幻想世界當中，相信自己的人生將來一定會變得完好無缺。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6Qj1A2Drn
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CEdkQ9dKg
明知無人能斷言明天一定會更好。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kVg5SpEIG
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6W2UuuYfB
奈何人總需要一個努力的原因、一個繼續活下去的原因。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6Qjh7SIlQ
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAK4i7Xay6
那個原因名為「希望」。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVx9AtCOQ2N
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgqMquBW1H
「我定要繼續努力。」現在的她說。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELDf7iQLc3
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcjZh47NGT
「好好活下去吧。」曾經的他說。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpehmeLyLA
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIylFxteL9Q
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDWXe4JvXK
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxq0rGEeK6w
她慢步於公園大道，放眼欣賞沿路風景，不再留意地上的枯葉。
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》
ns18.217.252.20da2
