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秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGFArJf6Ol
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiLTgikDFx
「完好？」現在的她問。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmYKKxjAMO
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubdkcTHx9v
「無缺？」曾經的他問。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWwoMblqPH
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2kF6VCsZL
很多人說他生活美滿。家境富裕，頭腦聰明，五官英氣，身材高大。聞言他總是假笑，笑對方客氣得過份。奈何對方從未察覺他的笑容雖假，情感卻是真實而強烈的：他的確認為對方很過份。他想要的從不是這種生活，可惜每次對此表示厭棄時，總有人批評他不知足。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWXKqk8oDu
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTff2X8ots
輕嘆一聲，繼續前行。踏踏踏，沙沙沙，聲聲撕心裂肺。像父母的哭罵，令人痛，也令人愧疚不安。無論他們如何呼天搶地，他終究永遠不會回來。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpknryiq1fA
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nhH6r38nZ
遷入新居，展開新生。吃力，困難。已然表達得很清楚，對方還是假裝不知該使用哪個稱謂。有人說不介意，有人說很平常，話題和目光卻只停留在胯下之物。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYdKHvdWEl
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZ1vcO5QWZ
無處訴說的孤獨日夜縈繞不散。曾發誓永不後悔，曾以為自己是多麼堅毅勇敢，曾相信世界其實不是那麼單一而絕情……161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTm4adBwUDL
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMtVf6eF80
步出公園，拐了幾個街口，來到醫院門前。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZad5PAjTa4
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aclYk85NY
「醫生，早晨。」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1CPZvBR5j
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8eUEBFwKs
「早晨。近來身體好嗎？」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7pPFbEj3O
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVSr8IXx0F
「好……不過……」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qNbkXQaPY
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumHGESRGmp
「不過甚麼？」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8l9gVc6MI
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8jvrvyKT7
「我想再做手術。」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRNXEDUpyB
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bfv9uUzJV
「為甚麼？」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcTxHc2ydn
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUcTkA3UIM
「不適應現在的生活。」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDDjEhxL1i
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlNi2tCDnQ
「不適應身體的變化或是有其他困難？」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrDRTLIZnG
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0XGtLQZfA
「是生活上的困難……其實我很滿意現在的身體，我覺得這才是真正的自己！過往的我根本不是我！可惜旁人都不是這麼認為……」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRO4mECqbvx
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYu2XsjgnX0
「所以你想要回以前的性別？」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHgqbLHuLs
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIT08wLlEZ
「不——我是不想要任何性別。」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzKS9y9aG4
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcyenrVIrS
「噢……抱歉我還未能捕捉到你的思路。」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEet1dKvZ4
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK56k7n6ZVl
「這些日子，我遇到的問題大都源於旁人無法定徹底認同我是男或女。如果我沒有特定性別，可以在『男』、『女』、『跨性別』、『無性別』幾個類別之間遊走，可能會更自由！」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiv5nHKV4q
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZzD9ZrgvS
「依我看來，你再次做手術之後，將要面對的問題會更多更嚴重。」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwkbB7XCCd
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QmtkjeUVo
「我理解你的意思，但我還是想要放手一搏——我堅信每次改變都會帶來新的可能、新的希望。」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡki7PxVXngZ
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4S38WkfaQ
「既然你堅持，我會按程序寫信轉介你去心理輔導部門作專業評估。」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0gUmxiD7G
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGvFfho5U8
「謝謝你。」161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKAVy13qAj
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yp8H9xbDq
跟醫生多聊一會後，她步出醫院，再次走經公園。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjoOedFI4b
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02rvuosUI5
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRECFrktKN
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWDncAiF1f
「以前未完好。」現在的她說。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xQZFhje15
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstmPAbfye7
「將來會無缺。」曾經的他說。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjxHhBpN64
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaU74YSEXS
她笑了，笑自己傻，笑自己依然沉浸在幻想世界當中，相信自己的人生將來一定會變得完好無缺。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKj0XhSLba
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQ7czbUwmZ
明知無人能斷言明天一定會更好。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPekMNrSBQd
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvqarNqcVt
奈何人總需要一個努力的原因、一個繼續活下去的原因。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHsX7HMFBA
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPndS9WRSb
那個原因名為「希望」。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuh1kdc2iuP
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqi3dLJyyYJ
「我定要繼續努力。」現在的她說。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqUrYeaVRt
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20XLb9cdz3
「好好活下去吧。」曾經的他說。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmvPM02Fl8
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTkXzrjVZB
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2LZqRXP9m
161Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnOcAxkOmb
她慢步於公園大道，放眼欣賞沿路風景，不再留意地上的枯葉。
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》
ns18.117.71.21da2
