You know that song, 'Friday', by Rebecca Black (Ha Rebecca get it)? Well, first of all, I don't get how it's so popular. Her voice in the song is the most annoying voice I've ever heard (not until this year, I guess. still.). It has literally the worst vocals I've ever heard, not to mention the lyrics... Why did she change her voice for one song? If she sang it... with an actual adult voice, the song might sound subpar. Whatever, I'm gonna go back to the lyrics. Uh, so, the song's lyrics annoyingly go 'It's Friday' about 50 times, and... where am I going with this... oh, right. I'm about to talk about something that has nothing to do with Friday.
Why did I start with- what was I thinking? This chapter's about Wednesdays, not Fridays? Okay. Start over.
You know that one meme, of that guy who's in a spider-man (Hey, Marvel!) suit and he's wearing goggles, and he screams: 'It's Wednesday, my dudes. AAAAAAAAAA'? Yeah. There we go. That's something that has to do with Wednesdays.
So Wednesday is known as the 'Hump Day' of the week. I looked it up and it's called that because it's the middle of the week, and there's some model that puts all the days of the week on the model,
"Becky!"
and the model looks like a hill, with Wednesday at the top, so it's the hump of the hill, so it's the hump day of the week.
"Do you know what day it is?"
"No, Anna, what day is it?"
"It's..."
C'mon, fill in the blank.
"Hump Day!"
Did you guess the answer right?
"What do you mean, Hump Day?"
"It's Wednesday, right?"
"Yeah...?"
"Hey, why's it spelled like that anyway? Like... Wed... nes... day?"
"It's something germa-"
"Just kidding, I don't care."
"I- okay, whatever. So, what, hump day?"
"Yup! Hey, Becky, do you know what humping is?"
Oh god dang it I hate this already
Do you know what humping is?
"What's... humping...?"
"You have a dog, right?"
Yeah, it's that kind of humping.
"Uh, yeah?"
"Have you ever seen it like..."
Great. She didn't continue, so now I have to describe what she did with her hands.
Humping. Okay. uh. So, Anna took both of her hands, and... rubbed them together. And then started... clapping, but without the clap sound, so it was just smack...ing... uh...
You know what humping is, right? Like Anna said, dogs? Ever seen it... start ramming its... crotch... into a pillow?
Okay.
I hate this. I don't really wanna finish this chapter. I'm sure you don't either.
"Uh, that's... yeah, I have, so what?"
"You know it's having... ...x?"
She whispered the last part. I couldn't hear her.
"What? I didn't hear you?"
"Sex!"
She screamed. Way to keep it private.
"Oh my- don't say that out loud!"
"Oh, sorry, Becky. Hehe."
She giggled loudly.
Yeah. So, 'sex' is basically a swear word for us.
"Just- shut up. Why did you just randomly talk about... 'humping'...?"
I mean, no one ever brought it up. We've had, let's say, at least 30 Wednesdays since the school year started, so it only made sense for them to bring up such a... term... earlier.
They must've had some extremely specific and special reason to keep my knowledge from expanding.
"I dunno."
Or it's Anna.
"Fine- so what? What about... humping?"
I keep pausing before saying it. The word itself sounds... mischievous. Devious. Simply gross. I keep pausing because I'm hoping that Anna will finish my sentence and say the word for me, so that I don't have to dirty my tongue again.
"Have you ever... humped something?"
Okay that's just not a question to ask a fourth grader
"WHAT?!"
I wouldn't ever think of such an act! Disgusting! Horrible! Irrevolutionary! That's not a word!
"What, Becky? All I did was ask if you've ever humped something."
"NO!"
I swear if she ruins Wednesday for me
"Do you wanna..."
I'm gonna kill myself.
"Try?"
"No. I'm gonna go back inside."
THAT'S WHAT SHE SA- no, this is an already sexual moment, I can't make any sexual jokes. No, I can make as many sexual jokes as I want! Hahaha! Take that, editors (they don't exist)!
"Why?"
"I don't want to... do any of that. I'm not sure if you're planning something-"
(Which she probably is)
"Or if Jaidon has some part in this-"
(Which he.... definitely is)
"But I am not doing this today. Completely done. Have a good day, Anna, but I'm done."
"Wait, what about Caitlyn?"
"Huh?"
I was about to walk away, before hearing her name. It's like it's a trigger word. Except... one that doesn't make me go chaotic crazy. Instead... normal... crazy... no, definitely chaotic crazy.
"You reacted quickly to her- what, do you lik-"
"Anna, shut up. Just- just shut. Shut your mouth."
She bit down on her lips which closed the opening. She listened to me.
"MMmmm, mmhmmhm, hmmmmhmmmm, mm, mmmm!"
"Wha-"
"Mmmmmmmmmmmm!"
"Never mind, stop-"
"Mmm, mmhmm, mmhmmmmhmmm, mmmmm. MMMmM?"
"STOP!"
She didn't, and I approached her lips with my hands. I reached out, attempting to hopefully grab and pry open her mouth. It was getting annoying.
"Becky, are you trying to kiss her?"
So...
Kiss...
AH THE LIPS THING GROSS
"NO WHAT THE HELL?!"
Curses! I cursed!
"He is!"
Anna agreed with her (she opened her mouth, so I guess I succeeded in opening her mouth), and by her, I meant...
"Caitlyn, that's so gross, why would you think I wanted to do that?"
"I dunno, you got really close to her lips, Becky."
She pointed at her lips. I made a disgusted face and looked back at Anna, who was bending over and making kissy faces.
I wanna slap the **** out of her
"Trust me, Caitlyn, I'm literally never gonna wanna kiss her."
"What about Caitlyn, then?"
Anna stopped puckering to ask that question. I stared at her dead in the eyes.
"That's even- that's like kissing the ground!"
I heard a scoff behind me.
"Well, Becky, you can either kiss Caitlyn, or you can kiss the ground."
I actually can't explain that one
"What kind of- NO! What kind of option is that?"
"Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!"
I turned around and looked at Caitlyn. She was groaning. Hopefully no one sees us.
"Yeah, kiss her!"
"Jaidon, why are you- STOP!"
He joined in the chant. Caitlyn continued groaning.
"Leave u- leave me alone!"
I ran away.
Hey, it isn't cowardly! If you were being verbally assaulted (being made fun of) you would run away too!
"He's so fast!"
"He's like... a... gazelle..."
Jaidon said, running out of breath behind me. I could hear Anna still running behind me as well, trying to do the chant while sprinting (which surprisingly did not work very well).
Gazelle? Like that animal that runs away from lions? Me? Is that a new nickna- no, no, weird. I don't want any nicknames.
"Gazelle?"
"You're tall, and can run kinda fast."
MY FIRST COMPLIMENT LETS GOOOOOOOOOO
"But he looks dumb, like a gazelle, too."
never mind its ruined
"Caitlyn, shut- shut up."
"Becky..."
Anna was staring downwards. I looked down to see what she was looking at. The ground.
"No."
"You still haven't kissed yet."
I diverted my vision upwards. Jaidon looked confused.
"Hey, what's he kissing, anyway?"
HE DOESN'T EVEN KNO- okay, okay.
"He's either kissing Caitlyn or the ground."
"Ohhhhhhh. Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!"
Jaidon started the chant again, and Anna followed after him. I sighed.
"Fine!"
"Wait, really?"
"I'll kiss the ground!"
I fell over and brought my lips to the grass. I got close. Closer. Close enough that my lips were already touching the blades. Then I made the kissing sound, and got off the floor.
Anna looked disappointed.
"Boring."
I rolled my eyes and looked at Caitlyn. She didn't make a face. I don't know what that means.
"Anna, I don't even know why you wanted me to... kiss... Caitlyn."
"Because, Becky, you should kiss the people you have a crush on."
"I DON- stop."
Remember when this chapter wasn't about kissing, and was about humping?
"Hey, Anna, are we still doing that thing?"
"Jaidon, Becky ruined it, so no."
Jaidon sighed. Apparently they aren't doing 'that thing'.
"Can I still do it?"
"I dunno."
He fell to the ground and started...
God damn it (yeah, really)
He started flopping around. Well, I guess he was humping the ground. But it looked like a fish on land.
"What are you doing"
"I'm humping the ground!"
"Why"
"Anna said I should give a demonstration."
"For what"
"When you hump Cait-"
"STOP IT! STOP!"169Please respect copyright.PENANAkDLXJkJe9j
169Please respect copyright.PENANAvJve04Yva0
THEY ARE GETTING ON MY DAMN NERVES
"Jeeze, Becky, I thought you wanted to hump Cait-"
"NO!"
"Why no-"
"JUST STOP IT!"
The bell rang mid-sentence. I was still furious. I ran ahead of them. I didn't want to hear any more of whatever they were talking about.
I won't be surprised if I start getting really loud or even start cursing a lot soon. Adn I won't be sorry.
Every single Wednesday after that, I was haunted knowing Anna and Jaidon might walk up and start chanting something ghoulish.
I hate Wednesdays now. I hate humping. I hate... I hate what Anna and Jaidon are doing.
I hate this.169Please respect copyright.PENANAUrkXyuHd5R