近來回到小學,看見越來越多舊人,踏足在矮小的樓梯,都使她不斷想起過去。畢業後沒有再行過這種高度的樓梯,成年人而言頗為矮小的她可以一步踩兩級。141Please respect copyright.PENANAiDAR9vuFLX
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所有事都湧現,直至她感到自己的頭腦已經滿溢,無法再裝載。141Please respect copyright.PENANA4VFABIu4Jh
141Please respect copyright.PENANArETWqyBfzD
與第一次在學留守功課輔導班的拘緊不同——同學們的拘束,他們已見慣見熟林蓁,開始不守規矩——她倒是不介意他們有點不守規矩,畢竟,已上了全日學的學生,注意力有限,何況他們都在兒童期,「守規矩」如此需要後天約束的事,本就不易做到。141Please respect copyright.PENANAeyJdj6tKPy
141Please respect copyright.PENANAnSTrVb4CpU
她只是會悠悠地請學生們:就算聊天,手也不要停止寫作。141Please respect copyright.PENANArr7zGMchwZ
141Please respect copyright.PENANAXT5iZpHzPV
初時,他們如果遇到不懂的功課題目,只會坐在座位上發呆,或是問附近的同學;現在,他們會舉手,大聲叫喚:「Miss!」無論簡單或艱澀,通通發問。這也許代表她已不會令人感到陌生了。141Please respect copyright.PENANAyBPMaTOn6b
141Please respect copyright.PENANAuogMJOf0Qy
漸漸,學生之間的聊天聲音越來越大,連她也可以加入對話。141Please respect copyright.PENANAeUGzN1Z0ib
141Please respect copyright.PENANAyZOeDg65lC
一個半小時過去,順利結束。141Please respect copyright.PENANAyzt0HDc8Wd
141Please respect copyright.PENANAo5gG5B15qG
林蓁回家,便將洗手間的燈膽換上——141Please respect copyright.PENANAuAddODfD2g
141Please respect copyright.PENANAHMiewwx4tB
那是前天父親著她「明天去換」的燈膽,可是昨夜她在周立沖處留宿。141Please respect copyright.PENANAr9fYTMxWlr
141Please respect copyright.PENANAypqY4JUVuq
應是是錯覺,換了新燈泡,便覺得家裡明亮了許多,比起以前用舊燈泡時更甚。因此,牆身的壁癌便被光襯得更清晰,霉霉綠綠,硬誇上些美感便說那是如雲如霧。也許是抽氣扇不夠強勁的緣故,所以無法及時將濕氣抽走,然後形成了一股無法散去的霉氣。然後,如影如形,一直存在牆壁上,成為家裡最大皮膚的一份子,班駁得很。141Please respect copyright.PENANAuH9Ja990eV
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父親罵罵咧咧:「做咩琴晚唔返嚟?」141Please respect copyright.PENANATtKzAwAcmc
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她不應。141Please respect copyright.PENANAMAByxo7q4U
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「明明叫咗你琴日就買嚟換,而家先做!廁所無燈好危險㗎,你知唔知?」141Please respect copyright.PENANA3Ge63GRPSg
141Please respect copyright.PENANAnYz75g92RK
她不應。141Please respect copyright.PENANARZNksRCJbA
141Please respect copyright.PENANAAgfi9i2ZnY
「喂!又唔出聲,叫你做少少嘢都唔得咩?」141Please respect copyright.PENANAD1Tf0qgfEf
141Please respect copyright.PENANAMFiS93vbts
她不應。141Please respect copyright.PENANAI4b47BFyKg
141Please respect copyright.PENANARXN9Nl2Ggy
「我係你老竇嚟!關心吓你琴日唔返嚟咋嘛!你唔高興咩?」141Please respect copyright.PENANAdXUVQ8O15c
141Please respect copyright.PENANAtYAXtofwiD
她終於應:「我成日都唔返嚟㗎啦。」141Please respect copyright.PENANATEZmRrM37y
他沉默。141Please respect copyright.PENANAis6RRUiYYJ
141Please respect copyright.PENANADmzInNxhOy
家裡常常沉默,沉默確實也是林蓁心中家的常態。只是近年,父親說多了好多話,他會說話開口發問、要求、索取,然後,要求他人回應,如果不應他,便會說說說直至她覺得煩。要是以前,他只管一次過說好多話,完全不求他人應,反正他不介意別人怎看。近年是介意了,或是希望有人和他說話聊天交流了,不願再自說自話,才會不停說些問題或內容,直到人家回應。141Please respect copyright.PENANAW2e7CLJmbV
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林蓁通常是為了讓他不要再說,才開口回應。141Please respect copyright.PENANAZ487CKTLA8
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父親說:「咁所以我而家咪一次過關心你囉,唔使原因㗎嘛。」141Please respect copyright.PENANAkpQmavzK2F
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「唔使原因,但你有,因為想我幫你換燈膽。」141Please respect copyright.PENANAOqSamDKUOL
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她語氣平靜。141Please respect copyright.PENANAxdRcxLJprz
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她太熟知這一套,很多想要向她傾訴心事的人,都會首先煞有介事地問她近況,然後再進入自身故事的正題,完成流暢的轉折。她不會拆穿,反而覺得這是一種禮貌,至少讓她好受一點——他們有考慮到她的感受呢,也怕突兀。141Please respect copyright.PENANAKciNl7lQ5h
141Please respect copyright.PENANA2YIiLyJy0o
「衰女包!我生你養你,你咁樣諗我?」141Please respect copyright.PENANAtjr1bKfQ3R
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她不應。141Please respect copyright.PENANAN8mzRE7zB2
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「又成日唔返屋企,係咪拍拖啦?唔使理老竇啦?」141Please respect copyright.PENANA3pJLnE3y6t
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她不應。141Please respect copyright.PENANA7SkWnUPYaD
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「都唔知係咪喺出面識埋哂啲飛仔,教到你咁忤逆。」141Please respect copyright.PENANAzqLQWlbqJy
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她不應。141Please respect copyright.PENANAyMkI71isVN
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「出面啲男人邊度會真心鍾意你吖!你咪亂咁信人。」141Please respect copyright.PENANADemtUwOijq
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她不應。141Please respect copyright.PENANAisPOznapYa
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「而家有毛有翼識飛啦?出咗身又唔見你畀家用!」141Please respect copyright.PENANAVdjfVoddLE
141Please respect copyright.PENANAuMknJdohqd
她終於應:「我仲未畢業。」141Please respect copyright.PENANAhv6z0vip8i
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語氣始終平靜。141Please respect copyright.PENANAtH0aigZK26
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林蓁時時自省,到底從什麼時候開始,這個家就剩下她和父親呢?母親找其他男人了,家姐和細佬相繼出國讀書,遺棄她一個。是不是她做錯了什麼,才落得今日呢。141Please respect copyright.PENANA2vmepo0fMO
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自從家姐離開,她便毫無預兆地代替了被打父親的角色。141Please respect copyright.PENANATMmqLGNSIY
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林蓁不解,她又不像家姐,已不會頂嘴,平日有溫順臉容,斟茶遞水家務樣樣做齊,會替母親搥背,會照料弟弟的功課;作為一個二女兒,她已做得很多,那年,她才十三歲。141Please respect copyright.PENANAHMknF8Pf4T
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「啫係就嚟畢業啦,覺得自己好大個啦嘛!」父親又說。141Please respect copyright.PENANAuaXuywqDaT
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她始終不應。141Please respect copyright.PENANAcKEizFRzDe