x
You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbU1GBRhfn
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYDPBpwxZb
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjWf71iIHN
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBz1PP60rq9
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhcSAKHub6
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSx4USBjHYo
Really talking.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOBLGwDmdr
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVV2ZNq58h
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGFWLGPyvP
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2fjGzr3L7
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uw40XeXF8
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOISq9YqNh4
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdw3S6uEw5
Or81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLoy2z4uB1
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qNZcufh4j
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17qGGH8b08
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0LH3dAkrR
I typed.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdU4MkWVVYR
Deleted.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HW2wJqINN
Typed again.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjK1Zo0Dvv
Deleted.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYF4h4gKGGR
Typed again.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBW4ubO0NQ
Deleted.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMaBNGvo9P
Typed again.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDiYTM17sc
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQhTrr41Da
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56UKVktIh9
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FMAvPNcYZ
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlNDC264al
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6751Hpp6S9
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNbhey8WRi
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGZSeGsSGZ
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMFu23nkBz
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoajQtgKNtJ
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnowuyUnGI
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrh6dqzH8tC
“I love pizza.”81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTm9U1x7Xr
“I love that show.”81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPQ1lb1mPb
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjs8xSHcAe
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhE2rpZXxM4
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2itmEZcWaf
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0MBxBQPVt
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8yWleQH8s
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqpn6DX7UO
Maybe love is giving without expecting.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSPQR6aPle
Hoping without demanding.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjakkOYDt2K
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylRdcfvckq
then what does that make me?
A gambler?81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBOV26kgD4
A poet with no ink?81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCreX41TpQj
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCS9l8eyfT
It doesn’t ask for returns.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZs54g7gJC
It just… is.
Like the moon.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNNMEPEB6B
Distant. Cold sometimes.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj87W6PAJf7
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQL2BCliql
One that felt like surrender.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQ4KUvI5wT
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZlYPWZo74
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iX41d6XLX
Not because I wanted to.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIfWWZPD7O
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdbNQFh2z7
let the poet in me die trying,81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BTtBJz8z1
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHWnqNp17N
time won't change the answer,81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAN1ob8cvY7
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbWaGxqmI0
I want her to smile when she sees my name.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCdaqv5sOl
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwy1GjXRhco
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwtnE7yLVh
But I can be someone good.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPwiNg2euu
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKSQNW8jyy
"Sure, of course."81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnWSNEW6dA
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2eLc9w5AZ
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaih0R3IUZQ
but it still matters.
The night grew older.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5cYSAQHc3
The conversation faded into a simple:81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVd6DgWLzmW
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvh1imqFuCL
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUTgbag2vq
Ceiling fan humming.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91LVtlyLQS
Eyes open.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFSxy7JFyZ
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzr2U4i0UPp
The silence turned into a lullaby.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5LPNoO1to
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLryL5fR416
not even of love,81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡka1TISU7K1
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAYTTcgldl
No moon. No wind.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgHTrikn5S
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbplBbj0uiu
“Do you think love makes you whole?81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfloPf876R
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWvVaI70ZS
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIstLZDbrYk
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmD9sRIfGr2
A reason.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26WANEC6dW
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxOwGdb9Jy
a feeling.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzAHzpscvY
A choice.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyVDscglwq
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqBas9yx82
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZSh7GLmUo
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71OB4fBIYj
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMp0maGilo
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC64J3XPPmW
peace.
