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I told her once—
"I'll be your confidence."
Because she had always been mine.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82H4oU5PJ8
From the beginning.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHePgv0iI9G
She lit sparks in dull moments.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBq9oCPb1l
Listened when I didn’t even know what I was saying.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6hIsGTX4e
Talked like every word was music, and I was just lucky to hear it.
So when I saw an internship opportunity from Flipkart — open only for girls —62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdzJwaM2sG
I didn’t hesitate.
I told her.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4ARaWOtmF
Knowing full well she might hesitate.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6zUrXyQDe
Because that’s me when it comes to her.
Never missing a chance to be her helping hand.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjXOdz5foA
Never wanting her to miss one step toward something better.
She thought about it.
And she said, “Okay.”
The day of the test arrived.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mzo06K8zM
We planned to meet in the library, afternoon.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHslZWNjCKk
In one of the quiet discussion rooms.
I reached early.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OnIWz5paF
Maybe because I was eager.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfc297aYey
Maybe because I thought, somehow, today could fix the cracks.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JneZYV47O
Or at least remind us of how we once were.
I had everything ready: the laptop open, test page preloaded, my heart strangely light.
When she arrived, I gave her my laptop for a while — to finish some English assignment.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQTP9licBa
And I took her laptop.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBm4OpQzQfH
Told her not to worry about it.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVbbq01Za1
Told myself it would ease the guilt… the distance.
She smiled.
And it felt like I was doing the right thing.
But then… I did something I can never take back.
Not because I wanted to know who she was texting.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbq7eH7uLV
Not out of jealousy.
But out of that quiet ache —62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzkkCK05no
To know if I still existed in her world the way she lived in mine.
I opened her WhatsApp.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡys9zwfUIJY
Typed my own name in the search bar.
What I read…62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLmCpV5bzI
Was not what I was ready for.
At first, it made me smile.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoSp7pRD7A
Little mentions.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZ6lduLWhH
Small memories.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsRVsQawqP
Familiar tones.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHxDrWXsON
But then…62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknCnhX4KnA
The words changed.
"I feel awkward around him."62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wlzSTPNF3
"At last, I feel comfortable talking to someone… than talking to him"
It crushed me.
Like being stabbed by a voice I once trusted to save me.
I wanted to cry.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjqFjtOm0h
But I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
I just stared ahead.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAGb3KOTaR
Acted normal.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYG6gsKTp53
Pretended the world hadn’t just collapsed under my feet.
Because that’s what I do best.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44yUUKq1V0
Break in silence.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7ezHMVzBF
Smile with scars.
The test began.
I gave it everything.
Some questions were easy.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cSH1u7bUr
Some weren’t.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk30DY28yxi
But she never saw the storm behind my calm.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWbruBaX3b
She didn’t know the war I was fighting in my head as I smiled, as I helped, as I tried to just be a friend.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCRLMWiqb7
But I had made a promise.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡol9CM0Zjwh
And no matter how broken I was, I never go back on a promise.
Later, as we packed up to leave…62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdJEgPiPyS
She noticed something on my laptop.
Her name.
Saved as Stranger.
She asked.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBulzKymPpA
But I didn’t answer.
Because how do you explain that someone once felt like home,62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamww3CqcqJ
and now they’re just…62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNK0HgaCnOs
an address you can’t return to?
I still see her.
With Ren.
Laughing.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sjvV8sQ1n
Talking freely.
No awkwardness.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rDHBto34G
No hesitation.
Everything I ever tried to be for her…62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTJOEHCvS1
he now is.
I never wanted more than friendship.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpxmYHkEI8
But somehow… even that was too much to ask for.
I buried everything — my feelings, thoughts, jealousy, guilt —62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHYEkTd5MU
over and over.
But no matter how many times I tried to bury it all…62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFj7e9pc7Vi
I always ended up the one grieving.
But it never seemed to be enough.
What changed?
Or maybe…62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbAG6AsG9z
nothing ever did.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkn7nDxAYJ
Maybe there was nothing from the start — to change at all.
Now the buses have changed their places again.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3xauNbm7b
Destiny playing chess with people’s lives.
Alice’s bus — no longer somewhere in between —62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT64e0xatrT
now parked neatly alongside Ren’s.
While mine?
Still at the same spot since day one.
Watching.
Waiting.
Trying to understand the stories whispered by the evening wind.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFx41s1otAz
And the answers it hides in plain sight.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15VNCSedkf
At last,… all these are just words.
Words I wish she heard.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0osrx1Oyq6
Words I wish I never said.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoszvq0yy6
Words I’ll carry long after she forgets them.
Because…62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXOzEGtHWD
When I saw those messages, I couldn’t bear to read any further.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GnYpJDo90
When I sat across from her —62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhUrgvkAOk
And she had no idea that she still trusted me,62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalUMiyjjIn
While I was doing the very thing I swore, I’d never do.
I broke her trust.62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gUfmADlS2
I betrayed her.
And the worst part?
I still love her enough to hope…62Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5i9HMsZidV
She never finds out.
