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I told her once—
"I'll be your confidence."
Because she had always been mine.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DabcsKYbP
From the beginning.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XwgSCiBC3
She lit sparks in dull moments.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPLI97qNUh
Listened when I didn’t even know what I was saying.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwXru88WsB
Talked like every word was music, and I was just lucky to hear it.
So when I saw an internship opportunity from Flipkart — open only for girls —20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gf9vtuFYL
I didn’t hesitate.
I told her.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUmXqsJbnp
Knowing full well she might hesitate.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFIb6W5Tbl
Because that’s me when it comes to her.
Never missing a chance to be her helping hand.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58EfMBJwII
Never wanting her to miss one step toward something better.
She thought about it.
And she said, “Okay.”
The day of the test arrived.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyb753rTrDn
We planned to meet in the library, afternoon.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKf8UYYTDU
In one of the quiet discussion rooms.
I reached early.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeLSLb53R6
Maybe because I was eager.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rqKccbZZF
Maybe because I thought, somehow, today could fix the cracks.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEskHAOhnM
Or at least remind us of how we once were.
I had everything ready: the laptop open, test page preloaded, my heart strangely light.
When she arrived, I gave her my laptop for a while — to finish some English assignment.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JcNippcyJ
And I took her laptop.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzRoN26WVo
Told her not to worry about it.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLmrBijKjx
Told myself it would ease the guilt… the distance.
She smiled.
And it felt like I was doing the right thing.
But then… I did something I can never take back.
Not because I wanted to know who she was texting.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfM9nDdrUkk
Not out of jealousy.
But out of that quiet ache —20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCaHVOFv5a
To know if I still existed in her world the way she lived in mine.
I opened her WhatsApp.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnRm60kFoO
Typed my own name in the search bar.
What I read…20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXsxiyTyPO
Was not what I was ready for.
At first, it made me smile.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCihX9GYNAt
Little mentions.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1JqRbxaHE
Small memories.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQbB41RKED
Familiar tones.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6aCkx2krk
But then…20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡto0ThUeLQH
The words changed.
"I feel awkward around him."20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbr8J7V3Ob
"At last, I feel comfortable talking to someone… than talking to him"
It crushed me.
Like being stabbed by a voice I once trusted to save me.
I wanted to cry.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iJ5CeTEUk
But I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
I just stared ahead.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDJJ6UJITd
Acted normal.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfcdZDsN9c
Pretended the world hadn’t just collapsed under my feet.
Because that’s what I do best.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaITgmQKiE
Break in silence.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwFV15DU4Y
Smile with scars.
The test began.
I gave it everything.
Some questions were easy.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGGiXvJy4K
Some weren’t.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlIMlyw2Qr
But she never saw the storm behind my calm.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tAkdTarZt
She didn’t know the war I was fighting in my head as I smiled, as I helped, as I tried to just be a friend.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNCCFvP7q6
But I had made a promise.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡII3FVxWmlG
And no matter how broken I was, I never go back on a promise.
Later, as we packed up to leave…20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6s8P3Y70zn
She noticed something on my laptop.
Her name.
Saved as Stranger.
She asked.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeDY151qoH
But I didn’t answer.
Because how do you explain that someone once felt like home,20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDs2niz8lNp
and now they’re just…20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fOQprfuta
an address you can’t return to?
I still see her.
With Ren.
Laughing.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNzMj0dcwl
Talking freely.
No awkwardness.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZf60Ai2AA
No hesitation.
Everything I ever tried to be for her…20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfbKkOP0U8
he now is.
I never wanted more than friendship.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtAo34p6qD
But somehow… even that was too much to ask for.
I buried everything — my feelings, thoughts, jealousy, guilt —20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWgbkTvtX6
over and over.
But no matter how many times I tried to bury it all…20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvg53Gs9Yf
I always ended up the one grieving.
But it never seemed to be enough.
What changed?
Or maybe…20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFGhiHiFLv
nothing ever did.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcBPNllvwn
Maybe there was nothing from the start — to change at all.
Now the buses have changed their places again.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlMZUss5Oe
Destiny playing chess with people’s lives.
Alice’s bus — no longer somewhere in between —20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuMe9ROWEz
now parked neatly alongside Ren’s.
While mine?
Still at the same spot since day one.
Watching.
Waiting.
Trying to understand the stories whispered by the evening wind.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7yERRcq2M
And the answers it hides in plain sight.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKw7yMQfCx
At last,… all these are just words.
Words I wish she heard.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWBNVwzF87
Words I wish I never said.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lOzgwx8Ui
Words I’ll carry long after she forgets them.
Because…20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuF9WmEkMh
When I saw those messages, I couldn’t bear to read any further.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30jEIdy0XB
When I sat across from her —20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFnXJmRTHX
And she had no idea that she still trusted me,20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JKXQkQZdn
While I was doing the very thing I swore, I’d never do.
I broke her trust.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zdA9B3R79
I betrayed her.
And the worst part?
I still love her enough to hope…20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcUDOqiMvv
She never finds out.
