From: [email protected]109Please respect copyright.PENANAx1Di3lHKty
To: [email protected]109Please respect copyright.PENANA95m9vh1Q0l
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:109Please respect copyright.PENANAz3U9wI28FR
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.109Please respect copyright.PENANAFynFjmavv5
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya109Please respect copyright.PENANA9k9LkUC1iw
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]109Please respect copyright.PENANAKHOBnLZeHj
To: [email protected]109Please respect copyright.PENANACyXkmnBHvg
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??109Please respect copyright.PENANAvT3bWAsoHR
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.109Please respect copyright.PENANAgREXq3WwIx
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli109Please respect copyright.PENANAL1YHiWCdhY
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]109Please respect copyright.PENANARDXJ1W8xM0
To: [email protected]109Please respect copyright.PENANA0YVg8c0MLd
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔109Please respect copyright.PENANAOUgxBit7t6
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.109Please respect copyright.PENANAfIHRS9dEc5
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.109Please respect copyright.PENANAK5SwMnkCsy
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”109Please respect copyright.PENANAb7wO1kWOxN
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]109Please respect copyright.PENANAbyoTXxZtIa
To: [email protected]109Please respect copyright.PENANAulyKeag3Vh
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.109Please respect copyright.PENANAS2aNRYnybR
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???109Please respect copyright.PENANADTkCRH05fa
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]109Please respect copyright.PENANAVi3oQcRyEp
To: [email protected]109Please respect copyright.PENANA3mQZZp3Aag
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.109Please respect copyright.PENANATrzv25JXUV
and never speak of feelings again.109Please respect copyright.PENANAHizts0cw17
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:109Please respect copyright.PENANA8vJxo4bwdq
what would you write in a breakup text?109Please respect copyright.PENANAICB6C0IYtQ
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya109Please respect copyright.PENANAiXAphqDhXP
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]109Please respect copyright.PENANApIBVMjxc02
To: [email protected]109Please respect copyright.PENANAB7FI8hPNtu
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.109Please respect copyright.PENANAMbzgRAhG4C
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,109Please respect copyright.PENANAm6siNqSxgl
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.109Please respect copyright.PENANAC6MqHBZRG4
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]109Please respect copyright.PENANAcssmGXHJVO
To: [email protected]109Please respect copyright.PENANAYUVFkiGoFf
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.109Please respect copyright.PENANADEyxoyFoFy
that was weirdly lovely.109Please respect copyright.PENANAhxre4yoWeS
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?109Please respect copyright.PENANAQxyt4uPTAc
was there a form i missed?109Please respect copyright.PENANAC5RrkDy3L4
should i be sending muffins?
— maya109Please respect copyright.PENANANhMTB686XL
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]109Please respect copyright.PENANAPWMwV2LUbO
To: [email protected]109Please respect copyright.PENANAZUMz08DDKv
Subject: it’s official
congrats.109Please respect copyright.PENANAJRiRkB5ZMH
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.109Please respect copyright.PENANAxbGH7G157K
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.109Please respect copyright.PENANADqhpa3Tdwd
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli109Please respect copyright.PENANAgS60sPzcar
friend of font victims
109Please respect copyright.PENANAfXyQ0hpTdj