From: [email protected]108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjQ42OwBDb
To: [email protected]108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhXq7pCuI8
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUfvlGAgjz
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWHvq0zH1o
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFZKayFRbP
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkLGoG4td6
To: [email protected]108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMHCcXffcj
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtljJ1wcx1W
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YW2hyYG90
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡML1HEfeJ3R
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5k9SkERqY
To: [email protected]108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8tsWwVbV9
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1nwbXbcd3
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWoZEQHVCc
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqimgFArpQ7
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHpYWja81y
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUs7Id6oos
To: [email protected]108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnIb7egeaR
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsk0adTk3v
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJQpZyjY5g
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzj4C1mED4
To: [email protected]108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4cZICXpXh
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzttp0N6XMB
and never speak of feelings again.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuZDVWtG1u
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PDPAsku4M
what would you write in a breakup text?108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayRZgpgHKc
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iu2kIa5aE
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFjuUzw3rT
To: [email protected]108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7wpXNLxnd
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0trtZtiV7k
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNMIJjguWT
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6GWsNpwtv
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05nYWse2WE
To: [email protected]108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtecFjUeORV
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsh47dWpwMu
that was weirdly lovely.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLdRXX3hcw
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83nBEqZcHX
was there a form i missed?108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlvarcM84k
should i be sending muffins?
— maya108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYIxGF2I5I
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4vG5F3cSZ
To: [email protected]108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGfhMvs6HL
Subject: it’s official
congrats.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHYPeuoBDz
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIkDpdZTPS
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8G6zlyYkg5
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNOgAY3R8f
friend of font victims
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKFlM7ZkQ6
