From: [email protected]138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc68HiZlWhD
To: [email protected]138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrYFABfdGr
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpO9OVDIay
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpFBLyKA7x
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1J37lmEep
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXjJyT6282
To: [email protected]138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOy3JNfPoNv
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7gEXyRcUp
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGurpzVYoq
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7coBVnIbv7
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjUKb40oMW
To: [email protected]138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBvfIwSEe8
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPU8tpyipHW
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxdjDANukk
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtThdQhXKZi
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06KYEhJShc
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMPRNH8RmC
To: [email protected]138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQt8UQyZXx
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdwSMW0Sqa
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxHvfJx30M
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6RcsdOSMr
To: [email protected]138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6JlKiehi0
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZyfx8z2zZ
and never speak of feelings again.138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3DPg8w5lx
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6ISxwjNAP
what would you write in a breakup text?138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt53ja81dQr
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2w03NSTrkP
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUlHpHQGC3
To: [email protected]138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2q9Hof6Urn
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwQgaiBoeu
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsdyDQ7jpE
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxKaeoDfQX
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv70O9KUqSr
To: [email protected]138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxrrDA41iR
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiafbONEUSV
that was weirdly lovely.138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRjd13rtf8
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVITMNWcf5D
was there a form i missed?138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vTHUgjQ2U
should i be sending muffins?
— maya138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXh7lnBM5F
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMm1ptK4M2h
To: [email protected]138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlszT0B9WAq
Subject: it’s official
congrats.138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEiu7XpAxF
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmxI4ZtrUb
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvYsF1tioW
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dzDw74WB9
friend of font victims
138Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdssGyh0Zpr
