From: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.PENANA6garqrF1AK
To: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.PENANAnbizJWB9xA
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:106Please respect copyright.PENANAbK8a1QAtOK
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.106Please respect copyright.PENANASuRrxQwox3
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya106Please respect copyright.PENANAQnKn2fJyit
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.PENANAot2qymr2Tc
To: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.PENANAHerAzbnEyg
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??106Please respect copyright.PENANATr7JbN9ACO
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.106Please respect copyright.PENANADblUk2RpOS
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli106Please respect copyright.PENANAITZElpdhay
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.PENANADF2jwJ8kQs
To: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.PENANAyNQZSjoliJ
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔106Please respect copyright.PENANASJzJzhS0IM
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.106Please respect copyright.PENANA9bpbziZ9qu
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.106Please respect copyright.PENANAMSMc2SZ9B8
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”106Please respect copyright.PENANAaDDGdODipP
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.PENANAneePyeipi9
To: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.PENANAqLh8yfxrxo
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.106Please respect copyright.PENANAHvRfTTZChD
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???106Please respect copyright.PENANANiGQyzvycw
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.PENANAv8kwhBG8Ok
To: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.PENANArWVPzHYohM
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.106Please respect copyright.PENANAhpVKcJRxQ7
and never speak of feelings again.106Please respect copyright.PENANAUNnmhMuTk5
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:106Please respect copyright.PENANAmKsIU9FnUc
what would you write in a breakup text?106Please respect copyright.PENANAcXP207O2ux
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya106Please respect copyright.PENANAQHqW6SUEfu
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.PENANAmIDissiiad
To: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.PENANAsK2tFeRVVg
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.106Please respect copyright.PENANAp5xqqHZgRS
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,106Please respect copyright.PENANAEaN3C95TmL
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.106Please respect copyright.PENANAuKwguslOPs
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.PENANAFIW2X7ymWi
To: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.PENANAO1ZswcihsH
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.106Please respect copyright.PENANAWIlFEDinyR
that was weirdly lovely.106Please respect copyright.PENANA1C7EusZQol
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?106Please respect copyright.PENANA5GOOINqPg3
was there a form i missed?106Please respect copyright.PENANA0eVYUjE3s9
should i be sending muffins?
— maya106Please respect copyright.PENANAeHeP7FjtYS
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.PENANAFAUI6fV5I1
To: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.PENANAp3npXFp5bP
Subject: it’s official
congrats.106Please respect copyright.PENANABQwHyLn0ee
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.106Please respect copyright.PENANA7CztNC3RMc
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.106Please respect copyright.PENANAdYDkvBxpgV
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli106Please respect copyright.PENANAuZAEzGFjIp
friend of font victims
106Please respect copyright.PENANADWgCR38fy5