From: [email protected]116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEttsHrZLv7
To: [email protected]116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffqeDCGmqU
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FTC90NUUN
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yfcT5JOkv
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WUzB6vqG8
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcPLqSFjve
To: [email protected]116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dxe8WJcij
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0tByKcxZL
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauWjNHRNRV
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlLqUIhoWw
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72TLLMi1KS
To: [email protected]116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFdZPcfdaf
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvai6k79rS
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlpWL0CUtb
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcn3g1MnLs
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1d3wg9LZbc
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAXadhu6qv
To: [email protected]116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWPhjj6Gq8
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDmtqnsV6J
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKR4Vw54N4K
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGl3mVYSeg
To: [email protected]116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCKv3MNRJB
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4MGO99JxY
and never speak of feelings again.116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyB9T3NAjwh
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTAVSAfylF
what would you write in a breakup text?116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCMkQ3pIT5
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdTB3QAjJ4
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuu7mOncvA
To: [email protected]116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9qWCJsegk
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2nxqsg5Om
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoGFWqVLV9
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgKIxMrIZ6
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5IAB9m0gy
To: [email protected]116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAHnDPkykP
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6QKZyqdV4
that was weirdly lovely.116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHXsP8Ly3W
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYY8mUNsLCG
was there a form i missed?116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF51pgtd9Ve
should i be sending muffins?
— maya116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDBSJ7YMgo
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEa8s8bKhH
To: [email protected]116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Po1E14C3D
Subject: it’s official
congrats.116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAYyS8gpiW
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQt9Ne6yW2Y
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQD2SAVgHw
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpm6rXk60K
friend of font victims
116Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KTDf6XMtZ
