From: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6garqrF1AK
To: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbizJWB9xA
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbK8a1QAtOK
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuRrxQwox3
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnKn2fJyit
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡot2qymr2Tc
To: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHerAzbnEyg
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTr7JbN9ACO
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDblUk2RpOS
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITZElpdhay
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDF2jwJ8kQs
To: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNQZSjoliJ
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJzJzhS0IM
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bpbziZ9qu
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSMc2SZ9B8
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDDGdODipP
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneePyeipi9
To: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLh8yfxrxo
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvRfTTZChD
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiGQyzvycw
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8kwhBG8Ok
To: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWVPzHYohM
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpVKcJRxQ7
and never speak of feelings again.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNnmhMuTk5
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKsIU9FnUc
what would you write in a breakup text?106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXP207O2ux
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHqW6SUEfu
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIDissiiad
To: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsK2tFeRVVg
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5xqqHZgRS
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaN3C95TmL
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKwguslOPs
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIW2X7ymWi
To: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1ZswcihsH
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIlFEDinyR
that was weirdly lovely.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1C7EusZQol
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GOOINqPg3
was there a form i missed?106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eVYUjE3s9
should i be sending muffins?
— maya106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHeP7FjtYS
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAUI6fV5I1
To: [email protected]106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3npXFp5bP
Subject: it’s official
congrats.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQwHyLn0ee
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CztNC3RMc
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYDkvBxpgV
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZAEzGFjIp
friend of font victims
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWgCR38fy5
