From: [email protected]72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGoH236TO7
To: [email protected]72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UsSlClGdJ
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GF20Dbtmx
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwn1T0868F
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWhyk2ZGBL
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzo7m1W0Kf
To: [email protected]72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQxioU5dHX
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVWB450vFl
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhebR1phEdL
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoW60dDwfAT
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8P9AxU3yN
To: [email protected]72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nYWSHy9KF
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKu3eMxvwaw
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOFsVtTAVg
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvYSHVewHl
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLraqKdna91
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMgr5AALy6
To: [email protected]72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprOu4V9Qqt
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjA5jPGacBT
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMTVqMePNP
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWU8r3xlRE
To: [email protected]72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArccL5HiQF
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIN1SSml2L
and never speak of feelings again.72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxxb9iWFuI
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrYf3Tgh82
what would you write in a breakup text?72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKvoiXldBc
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfAiPWqNfJ
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJfFAeqWIR
To: [email protected]72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzFgZ7IFZM
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJ8OTgBIVO
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTi2K2CqRjc
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qjhzJ6PyO
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMi9Br8uCow
To: [email protected]72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXI09gI1eN
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxgNJEvlGS
that was weirdly lovely.72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yOJHAfwqi
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3vJnzX6wI
was there a form i missed?72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4bENwGb9G
should i be sending muffins?
— maya72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFX2rnDxgy
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnbr7QVrqy
To: [email protected]72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AfzFirRKw
Subject: it’s official
congrats.72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwKzA2HfMG
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRsBonBz8p
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsw7T7AI27
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTiNm6Txwt
friend of font victims
72Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXnLMXVzIc
