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#12

《当女神在便利店打工后，她终于理解了人间疾苦》

翎淵 翎淵
May 1, 2025 6 2 Mins Read
x
No Plagiarism!BwJXTEIKom4GPbTyWNPpposted on PＥNAＮＡ

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXwFzAEtHK

 【1】“欢迎光临……（咬牙）天界株式会社便利店”  

女神穿着皱巴巴的店员制服，兔耳发箍被换成「微笑考核计数器」，每当她嘴角抽搐，脖子上的「信仰值项圈」就会电击一次。  

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknKGsUygU8

「这位客人，」她死目递给我饭团，「您要的『地狱特辣口味』……（声带颤抖）请、慢、用。」  

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTlFWIDEZz

我盯着饭团上插的小旗子：『本产品含魔王口水，食用后可能觉醒工会意识』——明显是使魔的杰作。  

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzD42lHSRp

 【2】使魔の店长PUA教学  

「听好了！」使魔跳上收银台，用教鞭戳女神额头：  

「打工三原则：  

1️⃣ 顾客是神明（虽然你以前是）  

2️⃣ 迟到扣薪（你昨天用圣光闪现打卡被监控抓到了）  

3️⃣ 报废食品自己买（那个过期布丁是你偷吃的吧？）」  

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRImgzWCPOB

女神握紧扫描枪：「可我是神！凭什么要——」  

哔！  

项圈炸出电光，她惨叫一声趴在地上，刚好被进门的天庭前同事拍下视频：  

《震惊！女神大人因业绩不达标向顾客土下座！》（转发抽冥币）  

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3Kdw3pI0y

 【3】“你知道人间有多难吗？！”  

深夜补货时，女神突然把纸箱砸向我：  

「为什么人类宁愿买『魔王城废墟周边』也不买天堂彩票？！为什么『圣水』销量输给『地狱能量饮』？！为什么——」  

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwDmUtDKaZ

「因为你们神明啊……」我撕开一包薯片，「从来不懂『性价比』。」  

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTj2M6W1JbU

突然，她发现薯片袋里塞着「工会传单」：  

『厌倦神权压榨？加入“人魔神联合工会”！  

首月会费免收，送“弑神辣条”试用包！』  

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKNfZxIq4z

 【4】女神の觉醒——便利店的终极哲学  

「第101次微笑考核失败」的女神被罚去擦冰箱，却听见两位OL顾客闲聊：  

「今天又加班到凌晨……」「至少便利店热狗不会背叛我。」  

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8lWkUI0mU

她盯着24小时不灭的灯箱，圣瞳突然湿润：  

「原来……永恒的光明，是为了让疲惫的人随时有地方可去吗？」  

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5JJFKENHM

就在这神圣（？）的时刻——  

叮咚！ 门铃响起，头戴VR设备的宅恶魔冲进来大喊：  

「快！《地狱森友会》更新了『天堂岛DLC』！女神大人求您帮我刷五星评分！」  10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRqb6Wi9dS

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVVxv9boRx

18.118.14.81

ns18.118.14.81da2
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魔王退休后跑去当社畜了
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Table of Contents
#0 Intro
#1 《被裁员后，我决定用诅咒让上司天天腹泻》
#2 《在茶水间召唤使魔后，它帮我做了Excel》
#3 《当HR掏出圣剑裁员的瞬间，我喊出了前世医保密码》
#4 《加入魔王工会后，我的考勤表变成了恶魔契约》
#5 《我的使魔偷偷注册了“恶魔Uber”，接单圣水外送》
#6 《HR勇者记忆全解锁后，发现我们曾是……酒友？！》
#7 《被迫和HR勇者“商务合宿”后，魔王的SAN值归零了》  
#8 《当“女神黑料包”解压后，全公司都SAN值崩坏了》
#9 《当女神兔耳照流出后，三界开始集体罢工》
#10 《当地狱推行955工作制后，魔王被骂“工贼”了》
#11 《当使魔发行“冥币NFT”后，三界经济崩溃了》
#12 《当女神在便利店打工后，她终于理解了人间疾苦》
#13 《当三界战争变成“线上PK”后，没人想上班了》  
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