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People Who Like This
#9

《当女神兔耳照流出后，三界开始集体罢工》

翎淵 翎淵
Apr 30, 2025 3 2 Mins Read
x
No Plagiarism!slPYihR6mkTS6hmgWD3jposted on PＥNAＮＡ

 【1】“这照片值1000円？根本是诈骗！”  

付费解锁的所谓「艳照」——  

画面中央：女神头上戴着会发光的兔耳发箍（USB接口还插着充电宝）  

背景：天堂办公室堆满「信仰榨取进度表」和吃剩的泡面  

重点：她手里举的牌子写着：『谁996满100年就送自拍』  

7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gjppSUAtG

「退钱！！」我和星野晴同时怒吼。  

使魔却指着照片角落：「等等！放大她电脑屏幕！」  

7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66tfxJ7pG1

——女神正在浏览的网页赫然是：  

『如何伪装全知全能？百度知道高赞回答』  

7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiy0JlZdR5n

 【2】天庭系统崩溃！因为女神忘了密码  

照片流出三分钟后，整个天界响起警报：  

『警告！检测到信仰度归零，自动触发“神明下岗程序”』  

7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOzTsni9z1

女神本尊突然投影到公司大厅，兔耳都吓歪了：「等等！我、我还能改——」  

星野晴一个箭步上前，把圣剑架在她脖子上：「先把魔王城拆迁款+三百年精神损失费+员工猝死抚恤金吐出来！」  

7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbvJpYaR1P

女神哭着点开天庭余额宝：「可、可我都拿去买虚拟偶像打榜了……」  

7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvv4wj8fYO9

 【3】史上最草率的“新世界创造”  

「没钱？那就用劳力抵债。」我打了个响指，魔王城核心从咖啡机里蹦出来，「现在开始，您就是新公司前台接待。」  

7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEW9TVrjlrt

女神头顶冒出问号：「哈？」  

星野晴唰地亮出员工手册修订版：  

『岗位职责：  

1. 每天微笑说“欢迎光临”1000次  

2. 帮员工泡咖啡（禁止掺圣水）  

3. 被使魔骑头拍照（节假日双倍）』  

7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhb5b1CvKD

「这是职场霸凌！！」女神尖叫。  

全公司员工举起手机齐喊：「——不，这·叫·福·报！」  

7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3iHCHvsm8

 【4】使魔的终极野望：跨次元工会  

大战落幕时，我的使魔站在堆积如山的HR投诉信上宣言：  

「各位！我们成立了『人魔神联合工会』！现在入会送三重大礼：  

1. 地狱特供辣椒喷雾（专治PUA上司）  

2. 天界WIFI破解器（屏蔽加班消息）  

3. 魔王城拆迁款集体诉讼服务」  

7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgM73SRCWe4

连天使都来排队填表：「那个……能顺便告发前任女神克扣年终奖吗？」  

7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgToZC4yF01

 【5】勇者与魔王的再就业  

星野晴递给我一张新名片：  

『反黑心企业咨询有限公司  

CEO：星野晴  

COO：路德维希』  

7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYpMJOeAMl

「等等，COO是什么？」  

「Chief Obscene Officer，」她淡定喝茶，「专管用黑暗魔法对付资本家。」  

7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBE3uRxMpX

3.145.57.4

ns3.145.57.4da2
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魔王退休后跑去当社畜了
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Table of Contents
#0 Intro
#1 《被裁员后，我决定用诅咒让上司天天腹泻》
#2 《在茶水间召唤使魔后，它帮我做了Excel》
#3 《当HR掏出圣剑裁员的瞬间，我喊出了前世医保密码》
#4 《加入魔王工会后，我的考勤表变成了恶魔契约》
#5 《我的使魔偷偷注册了“恶魔Uber”，接单圣水外送》
#6 《HR勇者记忆全解锁后，发现我们曾是……酒友？！》
#7 《被迫和HR勇者“商务合宿”后，魔王的SAN值归零了》  
#8 《当“女神黑料包”解压后，全公司都SAN值崩坏了》
#9 《当女神兔耳照流出后，三界开始集体罢工》
#10 《当地狱推行955工作制后，魔王被骂“工贼”了》
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