在綠完全康復之前,我在青的家過了一段安穩而又平靜的日子,這段時期發生過特別而且我又能夠記起的事,大概用十隻手指就可以數得完。雖然有點枯燥,但其實回想起來,我廷享受這種作為貓懶洋洋的時光。284Please respect copyright.PENANAXHVOgnmcCO
284Please respect copyright.PENANAjONfpbxhO0
這樣說好像有點奇怪,但我好像已經習慣了敏青並不是我的情人而是我的主人。看著她和MK男朋友阿明的互動,我沒有太多呷醋的感覺,反而更多的在意敏青是否真的過得快樂。284Please respect copyright.PENANA6B0hgmHoOM
284Please respect copyright.PENANADKEbIdEHAH
只要她那天過得好,即使是多平淡也好,即是她的男朋友從任何角度看起來有多差都好,如果那天晚上,她的形容詞是:愉快、幸福、簡單、美好(或者一點更浮誇的正面字眼),我就已經不會介意。284Please respect copyright.PENANA3HlLcnICAm
284Please respect copyright.PENANAlp31QxbXGb
當然明也不敢再在我面前做什麼愚蠢的行為,好像連拉下褲鏈去洗手間這樣普通的事,我也沒有再見過了。284Please respect copyright.PENANAyHEv99irxs
284Please respect copyright.PENANAvsJ1VOxLsi
說起MK明…其中一件特別的事,也和他這個人有着非常密切的關係。他大概是懷恨在心吧,居然有一天向敏青提出絕育的建議。284Please respect copyright.PENANA6qr7m4l2qq
284Please respect copyright.PENANAls4xjyGwZT
「青,我諗阿月都應該差唔多夠歲數絕育㗎啦喎?」他奸險的說,說話的時候看着我偷笑。284Please respect copyright.PENANAIBogzObpzf
284Please respect copyright.PENANAXWsuE1TZRQ
他為什麼總是搞不清楚,「人不犯我,我不犯人」這樣簡單的天條。284Please respect copyright.PENANA7xRbDqxNq7
284Please respect copyright.PENANAac8CGxHFdb
「係喎,但係…我見阿月都未發情…會唔會係其實未夠歲數㗎?」284Please respect copyright.PENANAnXs4GP2C1E
284Please respect copyright.PENANAc0WTGmhjAd
「唔會啦,你睇佢幾大隻幾生猛,分分鐘夜晚偷偷地J你添啊…差唔多要絕育㗎啦!」284Please respect copyright.PENANA9c7scvHABn
284Please respect copyright.PENANAcG7GkfCfRa
「你唔好講埋啲咁核突嘅嘢啦!月點會咁!」284Please respect copyright.PENANApd2XddrIUH
284Please respect copyright.PENANAoCi7R75Vjd
對啊,你別含血噴人,我是良家婦貓。284Please respect copyright.PENANAVnDVjHoK7o
「不如咁啦,我哋帶佢去獸醫診所,做一個詳細嘅檢查,始終佢本身係街貓,唔知會唔會有咩隱疾…到時再俾醫生睇吓,佢適唔適合絕育囉~我已經book咗㗎啦,好想為月月做返啲嘢啊….」MK明裝着誠懇的說。284Please respect copyright.PENANALTe8i1rYQt
284Please respect copyright.PENANAJU6cHcDh9c
…你還真是做好準備啊。甚麼隱疾?你才是有隱疾啊!性行為無力失調症啊你!284Please respect copyright.PENANA75nHEhTjjz
284Please respect copyright.PENANAK3aB9YfbgU
「我唔知道原來你咁錫月月…」敏青說。天啊,青雖然你最後公開試成績沒有預期的好,但你好歹也是大學生,這樣的謊言你也相信?他明明是擺出一副想要置我於死地的樣子!284Please respect copyright.PENANAf76y1ycbL1
284Please respect copyright.PENANAs0Jeh3WXmK
正當我以為自己在找到變回人的方法前,還要找找變回生殖器官的渠道…救星出現了!284Please respect copyright.PENANAZfM6z9PizL
284Please respect copyright.PENANA2HNEeLascC
「咪住先!!!!」284Please respect copyright.PENANA4zElBGRiCQ
284Please respect copyright.PENANAkbKmgOKduj
靖靖向着議論紛紛的兩人大叫。284Please respect copyright.PENANA4AWy8PQmtR
284Please respect copyright.PENANAXESQtzbAky
「我都好認同呢位同學嘅講法,不過我覺得呢件事有一個更好嘅處理辦法。」他用中文科卷四口試的對答口吻說着,雖然他們的公開試已經取消了這個評核方式,但看來小時候的訓練環節沒有生疏。284Please respect copyright.PENANALGNCNH8Vji
284Please respect copyright.PENANA203JuCgrPh
「呢位同學請講。」敏青張開手,向靖靖的方向遞出一個邀請的姿勢。為什麼突然間大家都入戲了?284Please respect copyright.PENANAM4S6LXmdqN
284Please respect copyright.PENANAWXODfKjmyK
「我覺得,我需要一個同月月培養感情嘅機會。話晒月月都係我嘅屋企人,我動議,不如由我,靖弟弟,帶佢去睇獸醫,順便問吓醫生佢適唔適合絕育。」284Please respect copyright.PENANACuF5TzA0Ws
284Please respect copyright.PENANAK0sQ35Whe3
他對著敏青和阿明說,然後偷偷的向我眨眼,我看得出這是一個「大家都係男人,我明你嘅,放心我會救你。」的眼神。284Please respect copyright.PENANAnaC63KlUxR
「都係唔好啦細佬,你邊有錢喎!都係我哋帶佢去睇醫生啦。」MK明堅持。284Please respect copyright.PENANAS1ObzTZJOP
284Please respect copyright.PENANA3T88dizjyO
「我當然冇錢啦,你頭先話準備咗錢㗎嘛!放心交俾我,你兩個去拍拖啦!」靖向MK明攤大手板。284Please respect copyright.PENANA72YoioxdjS
284Please respect copyright.PENANA6OysUpnRlX
「明,就咁話啦!我哋大把機會同月月相處,我都想其他屋企人好似我地咁錫佢。」青聽到靖的說話後,完完全全地順服了。對比上來,MK明的論點顯得毫無招架之力。284Please respect copyright.PENANAJoFOSli95Q
284Please respect copyright.PENANAxQNgsR4cr1
MK明深深不忿的從銀包拿出一張金牛,我淡定的擺着尾,然後用一個「呵呵,你輸了」的表情看着他。284Please respect copyright.PENANAmjHAbLViuO
284Please respect copyright.PENANAUaRPQC8SUX
「$1000邊夠啊?絕育喎?睇醫生喎?做檢查喎?知唔知讀獸醫好難㗎?」靖先將那張金牛放入銀包,然後說:「磅水啦。唔好望啦。」284Please respect copyright.PENANA4rzEAHfwav
284Please respect copyright.PENANATnnasQSJxI
我不亦樂乎的躺平在地上,伸了幾個懶腰。靖靖廝殺着MK明的畫面,再看多一萬次都不會生厭。284Please respect copyright.PENANAptkGrdYamb
284Please respect copyright.PENANAPm360P5he5
收夠籌碼的靖靖,從客廳的電視櫃裏,拿出一個手提的貓籠,好像是在我不知道的時候買的,以備不時之需。我乖乖的擺着尾,走進籠裏面去,我大概是世界上最願意走入籠的貓,沒有之一。284Please respect copyright.PENANA5AmPG9pTfM
284Please respect copyright.PENANAgbVzdAq7h4
靖有點手忙腳亂的把籠關上,然後飛快地提起了就跑出門口,走過天橋,走過停車場,在馬路旁隨意的截了一輛的士。284Please respect copyright.PENANAz3H3jIUq2H
284Please respect copyright.PENANAJ8gmdWEVHa
「XX中學呀唔該!」他說。284Please respect copyright.PENANAy7kE9twn0S
284Please respect copyright.PENANAw26zOqRfh8
啊?284Please respect copyright.PENANAr1ISEFhFuZ
284Please respect copyright.PENANAIWcF7fsQBT
我現在才留意到,原來我的救星靖靖身穿校服,用髮蠟築高了頭,一副準備要把家中的貓帶到學校,讓女孩子蜂擁而至,然後趁機和女神製造話題(然後期望可以製造嬰兒)的樣子。284Please respect copyright.PENANA13Txtjx8GY
284Please respect copyright.PENANAWX6Maz3A8s
媽的。284Please respect copyright.PENANACE2VPRqhub
284Please respect copyright.PENANAPSvoQXc1yh
原來那個「大家都係男人,我明你嘅,放心我會救你。」的眼神,重點不在於「放心我會救你」,重點其實在「大家都係男人,我明你,你都明我嘅。」。284Please respect copyright.PENANAFdHXg4FD2L
284Please respect copyright.PENANALtRGfmsH9r
算了,這個眼神的前提就是我也是男人…他救了我的子孫根,就讓他的命根子也幸福一下吧。放心吧,我會對着你的女神盡力撒嬌的。284Please respect copyright.PENANAdSAaS81CyX
早已經是放課後的時間,靖靖大概是趕回來接我之後,再回到學校,人都應該就清光了吧?除非他格外張揚…MK明,道高一尺魔高一丈,現在你看着自己乾涸的銀包,大概明這個道理了吧?284Please respect copyright.PENANALWBaX90tJa
284Please respect copyright.PENANAgVTi9qNfla
靖靖從後門溜進去學校,避過總在放學時候守在門口的訓導主任和守衛大叔。靖讀的是我和敏青的母校。中學從來也不是風頭躉,也沒有什麼驕人的成就,畢業之後也進不了大學,回去中學連自慰的作用好像也沒有。284Please respect copyright.PENANAzyHA6kHP6l
284Please respect copyright.PENANA0qBWi3Tm10
所以說起來,這次是我畢業後第一次回來吧,還要是以貓的身分,和敏青的弟弟結伴前來,真是奇怪至極的組合。284Please respect copyright.PENANATjncIAmDUt
284Please respect copyright.PENANAu3lsypIJNt
靖把我帶到一個空無一人的班房,看來沒有一群年輕的女孩子肉體在等候着我或者靖靖,他大概只約了她的女神一個吧?284Please respect copyright.PENANA3ssJDSMJu1
284Please respect copyright.PENANAYAtHQ04ajo
對了,我想起那天晚上,那個寂寞的靖,以為食煙就可以得到女神芳心的傻孩子,好吧,就幫你這一次。284Please respect copyright.PENANA8UP3vW4c64
284Please respect copyright.PENANAEl3DZpMsWn
靖把我連同籠放咗課室教師桌的中央後,便跑到課室外,大概是要去另一個課室,把女神叫過來。284Please respect copyright.PENANAuW2a0Ptc8d
284Please respect copyright.PENANAH0A2zJtwWj
過了不久之後,靖回來了,拖着在他身後,蒙着眼的女神…女…神?284Please respect copyright.PENANATi0H7GOGXz
284Please respect copyright.PENANACzWaUDic1l
映入眼簾的,是一個,吾,大概在交友app裏面,都會不好意思的hastag自己為 #肉地絲 的女同學,但肉地絲這個詞語實在不足以形容她的份量。好比@princejoyce減肥前的身形,這…這是幹嘛的?284Please respect copyright.PENANAVi0cxm2fZi
284Please respect copyright.PENANAXNmWk10xkb
「靖啊~你矇住眼帶我去邊度啊?」284Please respect copyright.PENANAfMo3MoFtGW
284Please respect copyright.PENANA74v5S35Bpq
「你摸吓,摸吓就知㗎啦。」靖左手捉著肥婆的手,右手解開貓籠上面的鎖,然後引領着肥婆充滿肥膏的手到我的方向來。284Please respect copyright.PENANABcVl7VPUOe
284Please respect copyright.PENANAHGGEPvdaLM
「咦~你要我摸咩啊?我好驚啊~我唔敢摸啊~我未摸過㗎~」284Please respect copyright.PENANALAzAHNBzpT
284Please respect copyright.PENANAgL7i5QaEQp
284Please respect copyright.PENANAgV5g7559wI
媽的,你要是這麼純情,為什麼拳頭已經微微張開,擺出一個準備要拿起什麼條狀物體的手勢?284Please respect copyright.PENANA0VG8u998e7
284Please respect copyright.PENANAC83aKj6zqE
「唔緊要啊,我教你呀!」284Please respect copyright.PENANAylqkHc4Agl
284Please respect copyright.PENANAIqkBObgclf
「想請問呢度有冇管理員?有冇人可以嚟救我?」我大叫。284Please respect copyright.PENANAGFIhhqyw3n
284Please respect copyright.PENANAbcZ9tJvaie
「嘩!係貓呀!」肥婆急不及待的揭開眼罩,「好可愛啊!!!!!啊!!!!」284Please respect copyright.PENANAMJBWJfxGjn
284Please respect copyright.PENANAg4Jv6b6V3l
看來養貓把妹這招真是萬事萬寧,連重型坦克都無法抵擋貓咪攝人的魅力。284Please respect copyright.PENANAa7ajLDH26p
「好滑啊佢啲毛…」肥婆一邊撫着我的身體一邊說,她的渣古機械臂把我重重的壓着,無論如何反抗,在她眼中大概也只是增加了情趣。強姦就是強姦,反抗不了就要學會享受。284Please respect copyright.PENANATGjDubLneA
284Please respect copyright.PENANAFdicXgTuO5
「多謝你啊,靖哥哥,我好開心。」肥婆女神含情脈脈的對靖說。284Please respect copyright.PENANAaQ7ra6t7yn
284Please respect copyright.PENANAuDpQrSipAQ
「傻咩你,講呢啲?蓉兒,只要你開心,我點都願意。」靖說。她的名字是薯蓉嗎?我看肉泥才是她的名字呢。284Please respect copyright.PENANA7dNVuloqzF
284Please respect copyright.PENANAsoAimJ6p5d
媽啊,我想嘔啊。284Please respect copyright.PENANAq6VQhqyaxV
284Please respect copyright.PENANAaSGj7zuOw7
靖啊,是不是由小到大,你看你兩個姐姐那種天仙下凡級的美女看太多了,以為敏青的樣子是平凡,這個肉泥才是女神?284Please respect copyright.PENANABJ4R86bF75
284Please respect copyright.PENANACZa526jUYZ
「但…我已經…」肥婆好像有難言之隱,但我不想聆聽。284Please respect copyright.PENANARJ9sNETWJK
284Please respect copyright.PENANAWzhXOeUIod
「澎!!!」284Please respect copyright.PENANAvpnz5Y95qK
284Please respect copyright.PENANAroQEMLzydK
突然傳來一聲巨響,課室的大門被踢開。284Please respect copyright.PENANA8lgYmYUSyR
284Please respect copyright.PENANAaAhvzU40xG
我、叫做蓉兒的肥婆、還有靖靖都被嚇呆了,不若而同的向大門的方向望過去。284Please respect copyright.PENANAshvzjELE8r
284Please respect copyright.PENANAqTUQncKgiT
只見一個沒穿校服、瘦骨嶙峋的金毛MK怒氣匆匆的跑了進來。看來母校的保安系統出了嚴重的漏洞,跟公廁一樣,誰都能從後門進來。284Please respect copyright.PENANAB1k90hia2g
284Please respect copyright.PENANAU18LbyoJVN
「唔係你見到咁嫁!BB!」肥婆大叫,想要向MK解釋,終於把肉手從我的毛髮上縮開。284Please respect copyright.PENANAbmJOj6n6AR
284Please respect copyright.PENANAP3mJthXHrY
老實說,MK也沒有見到甚麼吧?用不著馬上你內心的情感都招認出來的,你的肉很厚,MK也好,我也好,大概不可能穿過那層肥膏,直接看見你內心的情感。284Please respect copyright.PENANAnwo70AzXV0
284Please respect copyright.PENANAdIQl5PPrgX
「你兩個狗男女!」MK大叫。很好,大家都習慣把警察或其他不好的事情叫成狗,作為貓的一分子,我感到非常安慰。284Please respect copyright.PENANAk50fOQVHqw
284Please respect copyright.PENANAJ9FaeSKbIp
「我地就係你見到既咁!唔關你事!」阿靖向MK大叫着。284Please respect copyright.PENANAeUC2BvaLEx
284Please respect copyright.PENANAXLH7L9Im3J
這是幹嘛啦?演大戲嗎?284Please respect copyright.PENANA7LAlDebCo6
284Please respect copyright.PENANA1tsjOVlnhK
MK聽罷生氣的一拳向靖揮來,靖一下反智轉身避開,然後一記上勾拳回敬MK。284Please respect copyright.PENANAUDN7T6UBNN
284Please respect copyright.PENANAkpvUqFeDGv
好招!果然是女神的弟弟!284Please respect copyright.PENANAL15A5DnGkm
「死毒撚!」MK拼命想要還擊,招式卻都輕易被阿靖化解。阿靖再來一招亢龍有悔,MK被打得整個伏在地上,真的和書中的靖哥哥有幾分相似。284Please respect copyright.PENANAmFPTjiOYrf
284Please respect copyright.PENANAqdVTqne8kf
「阿靖!唔好再打我男朋友!!!」284Please respect copyright.PENANAzZvgdztAdB
284Please respect copyright.PENANA2QEZwxdymS
突然肥婆從後偷襲阿靖,一手把他整個人叉在地上,動彈不得,果然無論體脂有多低,招式有多好,六十公斤的郭靖也不可能贏得過二百公斤的黑毛豬。在這個弱肉強食的世界,榜數就是一切,重量就是打開真理之門的關鍵。284Please respect copyright.PENANAbdkpiHdL8Y
284Please respect copyright.PENANALA6VtH0eH1
突然被夢中女神攻擊,靖除了毫無還手之力外,我還聽到他內心碎裂的聲響。他好像失去了靈魂一樣躺平在地上,MK得勢不饒人,站起來往阿靖的身體踢過去,阿靖除了偶爾兩聲痛苦的呻吟外,整個人呆住了,像被宣判了死刑等死一樣。284Please respect copyright.PENANA5JhmrfBEjq
284Please respect copyright.PENANASCNFC5PljN
可惡…284Please respect copyright.PENANAgqiIpvIJjm
284Please respect copyright.PENANALLS2xdk1ZM
你兩個畜生!不要傷害我的家人!!!284Please respect copyright.PENANAocum7vKR7j
這個鬧劇的結尾,是由冬菇頭的單身中女訓導主任來收場。「瘋了!全都瘋了!」訓導主任的一句,終止了我們四個的戰爭。284Please respect copyright.PENANActBPVEvc9a
284Please respect copyright.PENANAPvqqy8oR6B
原來MK是已經被踢出校的舊生,而肥婆女神則是靖的同班同學。靖被記了兩個小過,因為打交以及將「不合適的東西帶回學校」,我顯然說是那個不合適的東西。284Please respect copyright.PENANAcYoha3HSJ4
284Please respect copyright.PENANA6WvnHTASgN
結果來說,也沒有很差,我不用絕育,靖則認清了自己跟肥婆是沒有可能的,由一開始,他只是一隻兵。284Please respect copyright.PENANAZM88SfhSoN
284Please respect copyright.PENANAhPKUwTuRUb
來接我們回家的,當然不是爸爸。姐夫把他的破舊豐田駛到學校,扮作靖的爸爸,聽了訓導主任大半個小時的教誨,他們倆純熟的演技讓我知道,這個角色扮演肯定已經不是第一次。284Please respect copyright.PENANAcDafDDGcKc
284Please respect copyright.PENANAezvKrg7P7d
姐夫拍拍靖的肩膊,靖抱着裝着我的籠,坐到私家車的後座。整個車程他不發一言,被打得口腫臉朣的他,沒有哭也沒有笑,被夢中情人和她的男朋友攻擊,就算肥婆的拳多重都好,心傷肯定比皮外傷來得痛很多吧。284Please respect copyright.PENANAq4ANpw3uX0
284Please respect copyright.PENANAQt9ABrwMaw
回家之後,姐夫努力地幫靖守了秘密,還幫我解了絕育之圍,靖則仍然一直保持着沉默,雖然大家都看到他青腫的臉,卻都有密契的沒有提問。看大家的反應,這種事大概不是第一次出現吧?我想。284Please respect copyright.PENANAuxMWrUhtIV
284Please respect copyright.PENANAf1vgoCV3wc
晚餐過後,靖坐到屋外面的乘涼處,那邊有張長長的椅子,我則跟在後面,有點擔心這個白痴弟弟。只見他拿出那包吃剩的香煙,點了一枝,插在地上的泥土上,又點了另一枝,生疏地吸著,然後把包裝內剩下的幾樣煙折斷,把煙草倒在地上。284Please respect copyright.PENANAj8AckY51zz
284Please respect copyright.PENANAvF4BKlxWf0
失戀的時候,我們多少需要一切儀式感,好讓我們好好記住這段時間的甜和苦。284Please respect copyright.PENANA6ZYq3XfRUy
284Please respect copyright.PENANAYLpgVeM9ZD
「喵~」我跳到靖的大腿上。284Please respect copyright.PENANAEeeDwyEIfO
284Please respect copyright.PENANAkiyCNFH77Q
「你喺到啊貓仔?」284Please respect copyright.PENANAdcLbYuZr3d
284Please respect copyright.PENANAn3jLhhANom
「喵。」284Please respect copyright.PENANArSkFq8M8Xp
284Please respect copyright.PENANALhbm947PVe
「對唔住啊,今日搞到咁。」284Please respect copyright.PENANAvdg22URMnP
284Please respect copyright.PENANAVayiyBxKwN
「你點啊?」284Please respect copyright.PENANAVnaxwlGMLG
284Please respect copyright.PENANAhcdhmqyBQc
「我…心好痛,好似裂開左咁,我中文唔好,唔識點形容,好似有種好重好重既重量,壓住係我個心上面。我覺得…啊,可能你會覺得好誇張…但好似永遠都唔會好咁。」他說。284Please respect copyright.PENANAnRTMVgk65Y
284Please respect copyright.PENANAUhiYqTeFeB
「我明白的。我知道呢一刻感覺一定係好差,好似行唔落去咁,好似失去左一生中最愛咁。但我可以話比你知,咁樣既感覺,喺你嚟緊既人生仲會嚟多好多好多次。你會愛上其他人,你會重新墮入愛河,但你都會失戀,人生就係不停咁尋覓、得到救贖、然後再學習失去、再尋覓。」284Please respect copyright.PENANAajqG5bnFG3
284Please respect copyright.PENANAnoqyn9vSKP
「真係好難啊,月。」284Please respect copyright.PENANAV80ojErHxD
284Please respect copyright.PENANAJ7aoCKf0Ms
「的確係好難。但總有一日,有一日呢種循環會被打破,就係你遇到你餘生既伴侶既嗰一刻。」我說。284Please respect copyright.PENANAUQTnjrXIq9
284Please respect copyright.PENANAPCP0FE6Xyb
「如果遇唔到下一個呢?」好像懂貓語的靖反問。284Please respect copyright.PENANABVOziSFsPJ
284Please respect copyright.PENANAmsJq0GEAz2
「總會遇到的。」我說。284Please respect copyright.PENANAnx6rCnxIHr
284Please respect copyright.PENANADHdKshht9g
我在他的大腿上躺着,他整個人伏在我的身上,一直哭、一直哭,哭到直至他累了,他喘着氣,然後繼續哭,像哭了一個末日出來。284Please respect copyright.PENANAXylwHWFOB1
284Please respect copyright.PENANAPFcVB2AaAV
沒關係的,哭過就會好。284Please respect copyright.PENANAlYEiwPMiz8
284Please respect copyright.PENANA5pvqotb1C0
在好了之前,我都會在這裡的。284Please respect copyright.PENANAOuygWy4jFf
284Please respect copyright.PENANAKAPYLqi77B
哭吧,盡情的、全力的。284Please respect copyright.PENANAtrKXaf5O6C
284Please respect copyright.PENANA61pKIGSGT8
細佬。284Please respect copyright.PENANAbuu5hxJS38
284Please respect copyright.PENANA0pxbDGZEJO
(十五 完)284Please respect copyright.PENANATLMkPol5Ry