我經常做光怪陸離的夢。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHmXQUoDgV
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp91U7JC7JQ
例如上一秒我可能在一大片人群以及鎂光燈下演講和嗚咽、下一秒在地鐵站中被絕種多年的肉食恐龍襲擊然後狂奔。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmymEssRJcg
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUs1TmGVXq
或者本來身處羅浮宮裡遇見Taylor Swift和她的新男友兼且歌詞藍本，一眨眼後就遠在東京的Jazz酒吧和村上春樹對賭大話骰。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrflvosdPpB
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEhSBQrZQY
當然大學二年級的我還是會做很青春期分泌主導的夢，比如與前女友或者性感的女同學在布吉的別墅瘋狂做愛。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJSwyqwWLP
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaV8C5Icrs
現實中莫講是別墅並不存在，布吉在疫症蔓延時根本遙不可及。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnSxpciw3S
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4b9NPOJT3
這些夢雖然有趣，但可能因為太不真實，要區分夢境和現實並沒有太難。倒是昨天晚上，我造了一個匪夷所思但真實感極強的夢。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGAAWQsXo7
在夢中我遇見了一隻黑色的貓，牠比176的我還要高一點，拿著木造的權仗，戴黃金的頸圈，像人一樣站着。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbTBQlCCzt
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8EUDbde0B
強要比喻的話，我會說牠跟古埃及文明的貓神長得有幾分像。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcrwpVGT6M
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGprtrizeH
「人類，你有想要實現的願望嗎？」貓神用低沉的聲線說，牠大概是一個男性。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpuwrRZaN8
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vtBGiKKvN
「我啊？」我望望四周，不見有其他人類，指着自己問。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34cRAXwWVH
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOGHsXaCNx
「對。」貓神用更低沉的聲線說。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBj9PcWgcb7
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxE3MFY0XMM
「啊…咁益我？」我有點迷惘以及搞不清狀況。平常這個時候我大概會意識到自己在發夢，但這次我居然有點覺得這個貓神是實實在在的出現在我面前。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrmGQJFL2r
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6O4dvXK7G4
對了！417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfl2x6pozz6
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRt7uZ2T7Mc
大概是因為氣味。正常的夢都是沒有氣味的，但這個夢有一股強烈的味道…到底是甚麼味道？有點像小時候去西九龍中心明將壽司內會聞到的味道，腥臭卻異常吸引。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRb78EXEkZF
「怎麼了，阿日，沒有想實現的願望嗎？」貓神問，聲音變得更更低沉了。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Ed4XG9q7g
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEZKD1svWb
阿日是我的名字。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5k79Ifw4bc
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tT3Gu6W3Y
「願望唔係無…但你係咪一定要用書面語講野？」我抓抓頭問，再一次懷疑到底這是夢境還是現實。如果是現實的話，整個設定未免太中二病了吧？還有為什麼牠會知道我的名字？417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQgaS6RIHQ
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwa0DsWfb3
「所以我用口語說話就是你的最大願望嗎？」貓神用百萬富翁裡陳啓泰「最後答案？」似的語氣反問我。我並沒有看過陳啓泰的百萬富翁，但「我讀drama㗎」陳芷青經典之作卻在成長過程看過上千次。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5r185oH2C
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pBXbmRoLD
「不是！不是！」我連忙答。怎麼我也變成了用書面語說話的怪人？417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCINNlvNQDD
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdRFpVZp7J
「我既願望…嗯…」世界和平實在太虛偽，變成全世界最有錢這種事實在太沒挑戰性。心想事成這種願望太空泛。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAYJhXO8ZC
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIu6ihdGxp
神貓降生在我面前，我得想一個對世界有意義的願望，不然就實在是太窩囊了。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmhCFKjoe8
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDxXFfg4Hp
快要到聖誕節…這個節日實在太可惡。好！我決定好了！417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVERbP4tSgG
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0agbuxATC
「我聖誕節想同女神一齊過！一齊返屋企！」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3N747a6uod
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnAR5susmi
「很好，我可以幫你實現願望。請問你的女神是誰？」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxpeoRPyf6
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTrF7hZ99n
「住我屋企隔離既敏青。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjG0synEO4I
敏青是我高中的暗戀對象。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAvMJrj7QJ
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJf0QeCrlf
女神成績很好，公開試前一直替我補習，可惜還沒有告訴她我的心意，我們便進入了不同的大學。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6XIiH4QHs
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnLeSQvbmm
當然我沒有辜負她的努力幫忙，我和敏青分別進了兩大，她是中文大學的學生，我則進了香港大學持續進修學院。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcR7xnwxAtp
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qXuarHZAF
因為是鄰居的關係，事實上我自小便認識她。我們住在元朗的小區，中學就在可步行的距離。高中前的敏青外表還是一個很普通的女生，但中四拔掉眼鏡，留黑長髮的她，加上溫柔樂天的性格，開始成為學校男生瘋狂追捧的對象。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRmrMaqMX9
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXk1dvxWsNl
我也在差不多的時候為她著迷，甚至有點後悔沒有及早追求她。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFhHTuY2Jl
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jt2Qm2ZNb
以我所知，中學時期因為學業和家規，她基本上都拒絕了這些狂蜂浪蝶的追求，亦乖乖的在十時前回家，十二時前睡覺。但進了大學後，喜歡她的人就更多了，聽說有追求者成功了，女神也已經變成別人的女朋友。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLFJ7AXf1d
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0h9YHHg2jq
「很好，你的願望就是『聖誕節與敏青一起過，然後一同回家。』，對吧？」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsBTaAaQqE
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuitWdd0rB
貓神刻意低沉的聲音有點像老虎低吟，把我拉回現實（或者夢境）。我想起自己小時候還沒有長喉核時，為了不讓別人覺得我是女生，花了很多時間學習聲線壓低的方法。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcOctRguY4
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33q3ZnAyZA
「等等！」我叫。「如果只係聖誕咁未得一日？」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbL5aymzkfL
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqyTP4KWrc
「是的。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWh97bJvsCa
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTv5tp1DwYM
「咁除夕倒數呢咁？」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRnrZ7Bv3I
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6uPCncnkt
「你的願望不能確保。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlquB8IU6P
「咁唔得，咁我改一下…我想願望係『聖誕與敏青一同回家，然後每日與敏青一起過。』」我說。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHTKxKJHbw
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyoY1rBEVH
「很好，讓我改一下咒語。『聖誕與…』」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUB6DFmz6Xs
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEAy7jssfy
「等等等，如果我個願望咁樣咪即係好似迫女神鍾意我同埋同我一齊咁樣？我唔想強迫佢嘅意願…」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Kml56tv8R
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsx5oV3E5x
「的確是強迫啊。」貓神說，這次沒有那麼低沉。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEVOe1GtnF
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4qpjEbBZC
「咁我改一下我個願望。我個願望係想女神都鍾意我，咁樣咪唔係強迫囉！」我沾沾自喜。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwHtUBnnKc
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuslRXxfDiF
「好。最後答案？」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWU5qUcRI1
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKntD1JyjQA
「無錯…」我有點猶豫。「啊！等陣！」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDtrugMEPG
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7pXOTWrCi
「又點呀！！！」貓神暴怒地呼叫，聲調卻變得高起來，看來牠也像青春期的我一樣在刻意壓低聲線。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLU38ut1iZ
「原來你識講口語…」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVruZ4s8Srq
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuQSXdA2eV
「改夠未呀煩膠？」貓神大力用權杖撞落地上，我感覺到地面澎澎作響。我有點出奇貓神也懂得「煩膠」這個用語，貓界也有兩登嗎？417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHV2PKq0NC
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBStTgOcYY
「今次真係最後…」我說，「如果你個咒語搞到我變咗女仔，咁我去咗女神屋企咪英雄無用武之地，所以我繼續要係男仔，而且每晚都要同女神一齊瞓！」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfSjqz8vT9
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSYU1E6reg
「『煩膠阿日由聖誕開始將會與女神敏青同居、同睡。其間敏青將會視阿日為最愛，而阿日將保持雄性身份。』，此乃第一個願望，未許之願還剩兩個。貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓…」貓神再次壓低聲線，用力念着咒語。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLR7bfgjvV8
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmggglVQlK3
「貓貓貓貓貓貓？」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1coPUjGTu3
「雄性？點解係用雄性呢個字唔係用男仔？」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExWzY0wR7R
「原來仲有兩個願望？」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMMwNXBdcU
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoy964Mi19
很多問題浮在我的腦海，我嘗試大聲叫出來，卻有如黑洞一樣的力量在拉扯着我的身體以及腦袋，然後把我的聲線完全給進無底深潭內。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzxp9edMP4
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5liwrhyxS9
四肢好像沒有辦法發力一樣，心臟停止跳動，身體各個器官都出現前所未見的劇痛，感覺就像貓神走進了我的身體內，然後用權仗把我的世界劃破再重新裝坎。就像遇見了死神一樣，卻又突然被賦予重生的感覺。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUtcXyS8Fl
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LawI8L71x
如果還有兩個願望的話，我寧願不許，也絕對不想再經歷兩次這種痛楚…417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOS0zzUQDLJ
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDemDzUbvvp
我在睡夢中醒來。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDKZgOuCuw
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHL5U5TMGSd
我突然想起，那股在剛才那個夢境以及名將壽司中出現過的香味是什麼。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxd40bZWnag
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKemhKQTkS
是過期罐頭裏的吞拿魚。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TWXFrLZZq
