From: [email protected]78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1cw3Fo9fx
To: [email protected]78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWS2V5Xvj5
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YGiwCchCS
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rykykN2EA
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0eu0o6s7S
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuoPw3Ay67
To: [email protected]78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTJOnceiJh
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMkAp5Uxqo
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigR7XTvPUc
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD93XLX2l4S
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmp52aTlG2
To: [email protected]78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7COrExM0p
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9oTrB2rch
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BOdyakO9q
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjBNItMtja
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUL36OnM1Q
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ekopq2hWY
To: [email protected]78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1z5QAhiHjS
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uZ0yQV2KU
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGytE3u2Nk
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRg4obNQxb
To: [email protected]78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDqJQZ6aLt
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUyTvTaqmx
and never speak of feelings again.78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfGXVvQJUM
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2klsFRo1IE
what would you write in a breakup text?78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNGO2wjJdD
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xgn5jV2rG
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJd0o6Gfwf
To: [email protected]78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrza5pCKRms
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHwseQmTDb
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjITzCwGHW6
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrOA3nGrel
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1JHSKTh02
To: [email protected]78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzK4izjB4y
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMBhoxv6nD
that was weirdly lovely.78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRW02KULURu
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi40oB3510P
was there a form i missed?78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qphCPsl7x
should i be sending muffins?
— maya78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvlzi04T1Q
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhZqg7Nl0m
To: [email protected]78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSY3sMFXAyI
Subject: it’s official
congrats.78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xKCSAPpwd
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvbpUorMT8
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJv7EHmjdAe
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYlyBZ88Ql
friend of font victims
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6a3E8Fbd9S
