From: [email protected]136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0gUpqB7If
To: [email protected]136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOnaLGeVnD
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAn2aYH3Oq
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQQYEPZ7KJ
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKLcJ8WVSo
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yt6zyrhfy
To: [email protected]136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizqswiLVt3
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbh8luAsXIS
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrIBMJchhh
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnxvd0Cyin
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwncGSdAXyp
To: [email protected]136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLAaY3bfXC
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoHLhdUmZt
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65uYAB17lZ
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYowTouMGJN
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6x2hBGFy2
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqdZvRKAgz
To: [email protected]136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMA3jfCDn5g
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0atsIA7o4
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXf4T7LFIe
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxH1epB00Im
To: [email protected]136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvayhHDzaZ
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBvohC8RmE
and never speak of feelings again.136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBMekmp5Nh
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsy8xOomGx4
what would you write in a breakup text?136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MID6HhB5k
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQsGTl0fpO
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Lsfd5Tszu
To: [email protected]136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuvuvbw0Ym
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJMDayDell
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvs0sPTVXLN
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ja2KP7MPw
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2hQFBtnVW
To: [email protected]136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FlxV4fhzL
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxqXQDNoUF
that was weirdly lovely.136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhn4qiGvhCD
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGalRvE1JXY
was there a form i missed?136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEn1J5W0Muo
should i be sending muffins?
— maya136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqGd560kz3
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF491z5HQlO
To: [email protected]136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrvzMaViZa
Subject: it’s official
congrats.136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDovkwsJTx
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XzH2gqIkP
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sid5iIV9E
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmD9vUyGNZt
friend of font victims
136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYnkVmNA0G
