09.283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VpYoW9Ujj
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡow9W0RbBd1
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEBs09gera
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6egs1dIa0
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfe2yG8duT
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwV5KWsIf2k
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeHr6Lgs5H
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLi5YBtjJSF
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvTXEqWbAM
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49uNFB8t6l
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukmdd0NTOw
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BuC2DT97Z
「怎麼了？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tR7BNFu7y
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOvBwDhvyn
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVCLSkHSXb
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Et8nQHvns
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkx8kEKJf6A
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1P2Ak9iOo
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTRVlBjmZt
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBVg8MgQk5
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDJsf7RbFn
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SRJgfsjOK
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm41ps7q72
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplNJR9qk1T
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQT88gYyyk
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4SGG12T0D
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0i2miR4pS
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SKqPegUur
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniUwVobg5J
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZYoqUG192
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJKwvyc58c
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTwrkdRAra
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbesODqXXz
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5pT0e7hez
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6XvPFRkqE
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVdhLKeUwh
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiPAUYcryt
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFabye1edn
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hIqSPCOli
「也要。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXfIVDwPYr
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLpLi3Wc6l
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6hQ8ekxB7
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WaOperLzx
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpLUQQuWgn
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jwHSG1bqk
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFR1CjWQ7x8
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfm5UF5KyK
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjGjVeitzs
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhGDI1dsEb
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaFFnrqOCI
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CnQqjNFAH
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaJAwofpry
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEm9OVF59pm
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRgDxE2POz
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHCtvlefQS
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPpiLhURpt
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWlsqnUsKc
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYr5yZ5Vvcd
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHKTsQ7SuK
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncXc5eE9iT
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbq1DcSS23a
「愛的本質？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrg0VO7QPQ
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfob2OV9kbt
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBKoGQrura
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40i4MMvIH6
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjXsRm8Mnn
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFWypZkUvu
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuYQmyClp1
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WteXqlEyU
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40HdM10IvQ
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9KXDvTKXP
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudv8WsiDsG
「新年快樂。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtb80ksSnpt
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEQtoXlgr5
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BP8oviiU4
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Kcm77sg67
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm462ezD895
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWVEcX7ZUI
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dRMlAcfyu
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJoeeiukuJ
「新年快樂，傑。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Wp9lppUUY
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QTA9Bcw86
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeJ7hHgNhF
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3m3exHYd4
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujzotBHPvK
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2fdpbzMJO
10.283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtz64TnjOC2
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUm9jbHS1w
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HGf3U3yz6
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgTn9lla0k
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbJ43Fo7hI
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHLER1o7t4
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHzRCiLeZt
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrrTyb9nvf
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrGwnJSmo4
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHlWMUbslc
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnq4FgHoPx0
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqpHVdT2I0
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyzonsFuLy
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFM6uKghb1
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVz4iz5oN8G
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTHzpztTzw
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ17cn8ZMHq
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTM4TqMauQ
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vtIaGlYNe
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiMqaZXvcr
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8P9xg9fxqo
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVIqSMC4v8
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxrWZh3o4Y
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcMpRXxJBI
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIa4CDlisnw
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchqGeiScYF
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNWlprVSqj
他對我說：不進來嗎？283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmIX8SE4IZ
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXGkIua5xa
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7eBcsbTbC
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvFpGY4Ath
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRM2nyjzXe
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5KRY1lsMd
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUcp0S3Jmp
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrKEIvkBpt
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oeeg0MAfY
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PFXy87Ky7
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfHaqS9gT2
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNfi7gQMg9
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9SJA3ehdA
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW41MKRApq4
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQVirofKN6
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxIxM9mboz
我好像從未了解過他。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqc29q5pgQH
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0NC1kDeFc
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlxDp430ac
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspawEFd6jg
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViesvfx2aJ
「是你嗎？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKKKeGSPHk
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QEew7zCL2
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrYBestbLa
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxbgtBtAn8
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQR3qk3XlS
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCr4dTZFdtO
夏油傑笑了一下。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SPYY1Fdv1
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSroIfCCMA
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuBDxvBg7q
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuI5RGd50g
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYv1tiv8Y8R
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlJeVDvkuw
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjdCbQEoZk
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Nut0hKS50
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Q1f7Nn1aS
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA25DPVdMYB
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH31O3GOg0J
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKajiJMb8V
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJ7IJuZJSm
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgjsLCp4ec
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcp153dOTo
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hd55e6ol4
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqp6zBT0MD
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzbOukmHGr
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkXyyp5Mp3
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSj0fSTnAb
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrtpKxok3e
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtKQm28tRn
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGNHG3GOEa
就這樣吧。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQfJrMJwGP
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnySbmVlFL
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kQ77Scton
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhmKH820YC
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7s3cTnBIV
240815 10 二修283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxQHRzgqBy
