09.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraL5vPKsEv
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課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZyzFOGO5pV
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEPKkGMmaz
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErDGza1fcd
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傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6YC82VkUo
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他回頭看向我，「嗯？」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcv2mMBLLzU
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVDWDH2bXp
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJY5CHQeOkn
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「怎麼了？」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3rah7RG2S
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNjFOzMJ0P
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnysF3IdCn
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpdc5KkKDW
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtkWMfToqF
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB9fhkLPtq
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzV8hrWnrf
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJxPyh9CoH
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDn5V4Xm4H
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWveerOjCm
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kFX12TTzR
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlX4jfox0E
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0qbnjDXkj
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDPsYYHVzY
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95OYpgJnUB
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLISxXQxnac
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj34pwdPpXc
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGM5OTePDt
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7afBRsjDcD
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjYbM4tXR5
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweuJfqsME3
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKM7icsJOv
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PSNO9CiYP
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhmwP50aZn
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXBnjQ1rBk
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgk3XCgS9i
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「也要。」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTI8SkYXrCM
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228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIbRgYXOfU
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnapVGcRxP
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjepQeKNXq
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgmqloVHHG
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zNNv2bSC6
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從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpsIh4A4Oq
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwj34N92F2
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAXzmVKOim
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnRUZ64zPn
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdCCoJ5DK5
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQPUAckaeV
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3y2pPH8ItU
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtcL5TbTZG
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFTBDiDTJA
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXCakWIXht
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcSvvXhonE
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOSaHKUZwl
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Tw9kJXk0U
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMc5P1OqGUH
「愛的本質？」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPsLQ2vRpm
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1Jijg3gmV
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV70aNa9R0d
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWTfEX5TcH
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuafnsqnDAM
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6G66ef6H9g
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0UnYLwLr2
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再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTu2RWDS3uC
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqidujSCxtQ
「新年快樂。」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrklsZ9y3Z
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站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsUz4Af6fL
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaEmqyRhW7
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVusDJ866ac
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我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9I625cAlT
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「新年快樂，傑。」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRuzMDqgfi
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──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6l9Uk8R0b4
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10.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDnEsgcYc0
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夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRit5JVxrN
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyTsTZRjSA
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRylORTO0R
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuuRkNfiXB
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0SC2ookln
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeL2fhW2GT
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvk5Uanc6AX
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMO0LjVT3pr
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPfiFFuTyQ
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uWm6w27C5
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPdFSZv3y1
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隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkICtmjMo6
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我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Wtl6fA7sz
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一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRYBhbaowA
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQtbWfyKCA
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0P5bu5N2gk
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電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lQ8BL9x40
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9agpIlMbJ
他對我說：不進來嗎？228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb79ycZIyyB
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室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpacARbWKG
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEfmj1NFSy
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeS3lhzZvUG
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXibrSBQSut
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sTTA7fuXQ
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXK54nlHCb
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfb1nRTXou
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlNb350a4e
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpXxNpVtVm
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就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4a1C7as2i
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我好像從未了解過他。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVlmxJNqAU
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我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtjza0EBwA
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「是你嗎？」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypOJqV1hjF
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是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ38SEYUtWA
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtoohLOnaP
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTN6uSEK5G
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9B4WKolGb
夏油傑笑了一下。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuSrWEGlYC
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0dAzQamVB
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KXsrhmUbf
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0fUKYUtxz
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8etn79DTvh
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrnInukJnw
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjMCG6IECi
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1LsDvsgaU
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTw5pJoYdn
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUo2W5QQMj1
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgVdmiw30F
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都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSH8MOyAPi
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但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9kj9dHm6z
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攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTmJFwVbxI
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA39qOHnBAO
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIxO1AX5Pe
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHnqP782uj
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFFfN0cxql
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就這樣吧。228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0ePw2DJct
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228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlrcctmBXP
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