自白 - 聽書

［挪威的森林有聲書］

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我一邊聽一邊記錄下感受

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我感受到平靜孤寂美麗

和一種說不出來的空洞感

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故事中戀情的記憶，我感受到美好但遙遠

感受到美好的記憶一點點的消失淡去

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感動也漸漸平淡下來，好遙遠

風景依舊美麗，

我沒有和主角一樣感受到被風景催著必須理解它

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主角想努力想起回憶中的畫面和語言

他想起來了

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有一口井變成他和美好感受連結的唯一

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井好像隨著時間也老去了

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井裡漆黑很深很深

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黑暗深淵

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某處有口井，沒人知道在那，

若是掉入難以再爬出來

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人消失在「井」裡面

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這個井，那好像就是人生的無奈？

義無反顧衝出去卻掉下去消失在黑色裡面

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孤獨等死

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正道是什麼？

我覺得是一直以來吸引著我前進的感動

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不會改變的那個就是我的正道嗎？

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但是其實沒有永遠不變的東西

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因為一切會隨著時間風化？

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最後就會掉進「井」裡？

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連痛都感覺不到了？

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我聽見混亂混亂混亂

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主角和他的情人好像陷進什麼裡了

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主角不在的時候，誰守護她？

我想就是她自己？

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她害怕被時間沖淡感情，像黃沙一樣流去

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我覺得把握當下就好

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放鬆變輕飄飄的

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這個我好像知道，浮在半空中不上不下

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不可以放鬆？因為放鬆就會瓦解？

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要努力拉著維繫好，把自己當作繩子

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但繩子也有斷裂的一天

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她想死她絕望了嗎她好累

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她想放棄..... 但又不想，因為那是她的一切

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我感到無助，有種怪怪的感覺，不太好受

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「她感激主角“看見”了她」

「她希望被記住，不想被遺忘」

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主角承諾一輩子記住，但記憶是會流失的

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不不不！！記在心中的感受阿！

不用記住記憶也沒關係！此時此刻知道就好！

不要哭泣！！

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....不完整的記憶好讓人孤寂

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這段記憶變成負擔了.....

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當然存在！不要！存在了！在就好....

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愛過也沒有嗎..？

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我覺得....感受到一種無力跟混沌

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現實也都是...鴻溝

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生活都不容易了.....

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我聽見主角看到的風景

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不...不要變成監獄

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主角...好亂

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.............

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有人利用創辦者夢和心變成了沒有靈魂的「利益」

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偽裝面具永遠看不清面具底下真正的樣貌

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而面具後面..... 真的有面孔嗎

還是空洞？

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怎麼會這樣，但我好像可以理解

可是好討厭

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好長一段我已經聽不見了，因為我也好亂

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爬什麼？旗桿上滿是青苔？

注視國旗

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是儀式？

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國旗隨著風飄搖？

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好多人無法被國家庇護？

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不見怪了？

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我也不介意

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但主角好亂我好亂

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世人感覺都很累

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監獄似的小小宿舍

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...失意了不要阿，不要丟掉靈魂....

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可是有現實

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散亂..... 灰塵.....

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討厭的味道

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要整理阿......

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喔，太好了，主角的房間很乾淨

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......卻是因為潔癖

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怎麼會變成異常的人

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那明明是唯一願意整理環境的人阿

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開玩笑的話.... 變成了...什麼？

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那個人.....

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也有點奇怪

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主角說還是有希望？

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誰喜歡畫地圖

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那個口吃的人好像是真誠純淨的

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跟別人不太一樣

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不明白我也不明白主角為什麼說什麼都好

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口吃的人討厭政治

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口吃跟潔癖的是同一個人嗎？

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我繼續聽書，但沒有感言了....

只是靜靜聽

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跳躍是什麼？

嗯... 跳然後躍過去？

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跳跟跳躍

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跳很吵阿w

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必須完整才做得到嗎？堅持還是偏執？

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我又聽進去，但繼續聽

沒有想法，但感覺有點奇怪

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故事說了好長好長

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主角還繼續在和情人說話

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我....聽不太懂，但心理怪怪的

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混亂

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她要走了嗎？

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不，主角跟上去了

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吼~~原來主角是耳朵控（×）

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好啦，我認真一點的繼續聽

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他們要去哪呀？

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吃麵？好耶！蕎麥麵好吃！

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他們好像走了很遠很遠

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體力真好

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嗯！人不可貌相！

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以後再見面？

什麼理？？？沒有字幕聽不懂www

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喔！她想告訴他，她愛他嗎？

想的無法找到語言去說嗎？

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那根柱子...... 嗯.. 貓咪追自己尾巴的感覺嗎

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轉圈圈~ 轉轉轉~~ 阿，好暈，想停一下...

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！

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可是不能停嗎

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.......

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哈？？？我以為主角跟她是情人！

結果不是嗎？？

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四個人也可以約會嗎w

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每個人都不一樣吧，所以都覺得別人奇怪

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故事有點太長了，我開始失去耐心

但又很想繼續聽

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.啥？？？整個故事要聽8小時......

今天先這樣好了.... 明天再繼續聽

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記錄點 1:22:34

下次從這裡再繼續吧，我累了

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