Jay's POV
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Two weeks, or just over, the board meeting had been delayed and I'm itching to see my wife again. Literally feeling like I could break out in hives should I not be graced with her presence right away. To feel the sheets of my own bed and smell the honey and barley scent of her hair. To feel the embrace of my children as they cling onto me, to make the pancakes in the morning and smile as they both run off to the pool outside reminding them not to run when the water is slick on the ground. A new fresh trim and flowers to take home for my wife, rested on top of the suitcases by the office door.
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The cases containing gifts for the children, books and toys and a piano music book for my son. It's optimistic but he's showing promise even at five and so I'm happy to encourage him. My cases doubled in size for the trip back to Italy; packing all of the items for my family rather than just my own clothes. I even managed to get Ross a gift. After all I know that he looks after my whole entire family. I consider myself the most thoughtful man as I look down at the full cases and smile knowing that they contain stuff for my family and friends rather than my own belongings, baby presents for Christopher and Rachel. I'm with Henry on the prediction of the baby being a boy, and so I've rather confidently purchased a blue baby romper.
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The board meeting had been largely positive seen as economically the growth of the company has been extensive, there's no heat on me. No eyes watching me or scrutinising. I'm a successful leader and I have not sodded things up. I glance out at the Persian gulf from my office and make peace with my father, as I watch the still and calm water my breathing hitches and I imagine him congratulating me before the door clicks behind me. Many times as an adolescent I would look into this ocean as he worked, wondering how he managed it all. Yet now I glance down at the image of Henry on my desk and cannot help but to wonder whether he will follow in my footsteps.
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"He would have been so proud" my mother whispers as if reading my mind. Looking up slowly and watching my mother as her face softens taking in my contemplative mood.
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"I'm proud Jay" she begins and I shake my head ready to dismiss the moment we're having, however my mother always manages to surpass my awkwardness.
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"Not only of this" she begins looking down at the images of my babies on the desk. All of them in gilded frames, Emilia as a one year old playing with her dolls with her long dark hair.
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"You as a family man" she surmises looking out at the waves and smiling to herself. My mother clutches at me as I leave the offices with my cases intent on heading for Dubai national airport.
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"Please I have got this" I tell her as she attempts to help me with the suitcases. What kind of a man would I be if I let her carry my luggage?
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"I love you son" she tells me as I set the cases down in the Bentley, pulling the trunk down I turn and embrace my mother.
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"Love you mom" I tell her and in this moment I'm not a CEO, not a grown man who runs a business. I'm her son, it all started with my mother. I owe her my whole life and as I exhale wiping stray tears away from my eyes she smiles holding me at arms length. Her sunglasses on top of her head, her eyes wet with tears.
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"Thank you for always believing in me, I mean before when you always told me I would be who I am now; a husband, a father" I say softly.
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"Also no going back to the clairvoyant in a shack without me" I quip and she laughs, I leave on the promise of sending her pictures, daily updates of her grandchildren.
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***
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A swift check in, flying first class with my briefcase intent on crunching a few numbers and signing off some documents electronically before I arrive home in Italy. The bunch of flowers on the seat next to me, tulips and roses. Two hours in and I've dined on the finest steak and had a glass of whiskey. The young child a few rows over from me, a girl with her mother, long dark hair that reminds me of Emilia's although she is around a year older. Has showed me her colouring book, and her toys. The mother initially embarrassed telling her to leave other passengers alone especially in first class. I brushed away her comments and reassured her that it was fine. Highlighting that I have two children myself. I'm a father, never thought I'd have the honour. The young girl eyeing the chocolate bar I have on my side as I give her a wry smile, just as I'm about to hand her it the plane rocks and her mother pulls her back to her seat.
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A few moments of turbulence scare the young girl and she snuggles into her mother who straps her in securely, I gaze down at the dark ocean beneath us. Travelling around thirty thousand feet above sea level over the Mediterranean Sea. The water below consistently cold with a high amount of salt, around thirty eight grams per litre of water. The marine life adapted to the darkness.
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"Mama" the girl calls out as the plane dips slightly dragging me away from my wandering thoughts of the ocean below, the sharks and the life swarming in the deep ocean.
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"It's okay darling" she placates as I unclip my belt despite the sign. Retrieving the chocolate bar from the side and handing it to the young girl, she sobs watching me with her small blue eyes.
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"Here it's yours hopefully it will take your mind off of the turbulence" I murmur in the soft voice I use when my own children have night terrors.
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"Thank you" the mother smiles nodding respectively as she grasps her child.
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"Not at all" I say as the plane crew barges down the runway appalled by my being out of my seat.
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"Look sir you must stay in the chair buckled in for your safety" a curt older lady informs me as I apologise for disobeying the rules. She straightens up her uniform, sighs as I look through the corridor and the plane dips as I hold onto the seat for balance. Shocked by the plane nearly pulling me to the floor.
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"I had just been trying to stop the little one from being frightened" I inform the attendant, she stares at me blankly before looking at the young child. A look of grief falls over her face before she recovers and nods.
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"Buckled in please" she says checking over the seats in first class as a second attendant appears and my eyes widen slightly. The male attendant with a commanding voice goes through the safety procedures throughly and I sit back, with my belt on playing by the rules. They disappear after checking on our cabin and I sigh looking out at the water and going over the amount of times I've flown and haven't been subjected to extra safety announcements even once.
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"It will be fine" the mother explains to her young child beginning to tell her a story, a book open in front of her as the little girl eats the chocolate and smiles warmly at me.
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The water below me looks unappealing as I take in the crew moving around, an uneasy atmosphere echo's through the aircraft and I tell myself that it's just turbulence but something irks me. The usual hum of the plane dwindles and I look up the length of the plane seeing nothing but people strapped in patiently. Awaiting the storm to pass.
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"Ladies and gentleman" the tannoy begins and suddenly the blood in my veins feels thick with adrenaline.
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"We're experiencing high levels of unexpected turbulence, due to unprecedented weather conditions. Please remain seated and with your belts on" the voice continues before the plane goes silent once more and collectively we all take a breath.
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The plane drops a few feet, my hands clutch onto the arm rests and the jolt we all feel leaves the plane in a state of worry. Loose items like cups and bottles crashing around. A few screams followed by silence, I catch my breath and look down out of the small plane window reassuring myself that we're nowhere near the ocean below.
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"Mama" the small girl begins crying and there's no more chocolate to offer her, just passengers looking straight faced and wondering why the plane is swerving and swooping through the sky.
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"Ladies and gentlemen" a strained voice begins and I keep my wits about me pulling my phone out and realising that there is no signal or internet connection. The usual warm amber glow of the plane shuts off and people gasp around me. Lights out, leaving the plane almost pitch black.
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"Here" I say to the woman and her child who are both sobbing. It's dark as the woman holds her child out to me and I grasp her strapping her in next to me.
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"Apologies for the lights, we are intending on an emergency evacuation of this aircraft" the pilot begins and all be it an emergency situation, his voice is utterly calm. Almost as if he's announcing the lunch choices rather than putting us all in the middle of the ocean.
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"The emergency lights illuminated on the aisles guide you to your nearest and safest emergency exit of the aircraft" he begins as the young girl huddles into me and her mother joins her on the seat sobbing.
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"But we're over the med fucking sea!" An older burly man calls out from afar, through the pitch dark it's impossible to see anything but the green strip lights and the emergency signs. I place my hands over the child's ears to protect her from the noise.
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"Remain calm please" a male voice instructs, presumably cabin crew.
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"Due to a technical problem the plane must be landed, it's the safest option" the male voice instructs as oxygen masks dangle above our heads and I begin to wonder. The plane heading for the depths of ocean below as I take a look out of the tiny window next to me.
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"Upon reaching the emergency exit closest to you there are emergency slides which will allow safe evacuation of all passengers" the crew alerts the plane in the darkness, awful sounds of metal buckling around us like low groans as the aircraft visibly shakes and swoops in a loss of control.
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"You want us to actively slide into the depths of the Mediterranean ocean!?" Another voice presumably a passenger screams. The next twenty minutes or so ensues chaos, a cacophony of voices all shouting and screaming over one another. Other passengers attempting to get to the rear of the plane; for whatever reason or logic perhaps they feel they serve a better chance of survival by being at the back.
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"Here" I look down at the child next to me grasping a damn life jacket and strapping it around her.
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"What's your name?" I say softly distracting her from the shouting just ahead of us. Another man hitting somebody for a life jacket.
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"Maddie, Maddie her names Maddie" the mother informs me looking at me with eyes that are absolutely worried and stricken.
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"Maddie you're going to be just fine, this here is a super life jacket. And it is going to keep you safe. You are going to stick with me, both of you" I say looking at the small woman and her child as they nod desperately. Looking up a few brawls are beginning to take place, people pushing and shoving in a panic leading to lots of shouting and screaming. Punching and anger. People lashing out over the crisis unfolding before us.
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"It looks like we're going to have to take a swim" I say innocently to Maddie.
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"Have you been swimming before?" I smile enthusiastically, make it a game Jay I tell myself. Take out the fear, although I am absolutely terrified myself, looking into the darkness of the plane and how its jolting midair, no more tannoys from the pilot worries me slightly as the cabin descends into chaos. My mind tells me that they must have alerted somebody that we are diving into the middle of the Mediterranean Sea, however I know that any sort of rescue efforts are way out and so we must do our best to survive in the meantime. I look over the fighting idiots and sigh exasperated.
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"Plan" I begin looking at the mother next to me. She stares up at me intently, trying to hear me over both the shouting and the gurgling sounds of metal.
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"We stay here in our seats, that means no injuries from flying objects or people due to the turbulence. Masks on-here you take the life jacket I'm all good" I begin chucking her the one under my seat. It appears some passengers have armed themselves with multiple life jackets which although is grossly unfair however there is far too much chaos and screaming to get any sense out of anybody. Mentally I tell myself to locate one imminently, but first we must plan and stick to it. Cautiously, we must be ready for the inevitable crash into the ocean. The clairvoyants voice echoes in my head and I shut her up; I am not being a free spirit drifting off into the Mediterranean ocean, tonight is something to survive.
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"We need to move to that exit" I say softly looking at the emergency sign to our left around three or four rows back.
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"Make a move out of the plane otherwise we will go down" I say to her cautiously looking at her child, fear and panic in both of their blue eyes.
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"That's when it's your moment Maddie- swimming. I'll need you to swim.You keep yourself on top of the water and you hold onto your mother. Find a raft or anything to get on top of" I instruct the two of them. Before I pull my phone out and curse in my head at the lack of any signal or connection. My wife, my children my head scrambles as I place the phone back in my pockets. Grasping my briefcase which ironically is waterproof and buoyant. Frantically I scrawl over a piece of paper; I love you always my darling. I love you Henry, my first born son. I love you Emilia. My daughter. Your father loves you with his whole heart.
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Before I descend into hysterics, panic or anger I fold up the paper and write Taylor's full name on the front. Place the pen and all of my valuables including my watch in the case. Lock her up and stick it in the overhead container. It will be recovered I tell myself over and over again from the depths of the Mediterranean ocean, she must know how much I love her.
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"Right" I say wiping my face in the dark, the enormity of the situation becomes real and screaming can be heard from way down at the other end of the plane.
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"Ready for the plan?" I say calmly looking into the dark. An elderly couple shuffling along the aisle trying to remain upright in a plane that is currently swaying violently.
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"Is it a fire?" I hear a man shout at the top of his lungs from afar and I pinch my nose together willing myself to be calm. A fire is not good, it reduces our survival rate extensively and I take a look out of the plane window assessing the speed and the distance of our descent to the ocean. Shaking my head I turn to the woman and her child slowly.
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"Now's the time Maddie" I tell her slowly.
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"Let's get going emergency exit" I instruct her mother and she nods, unable to talk. Unable to think she turns and grasping her child she pushes her way into the aisle.
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"Right behind you" I tell the child as she screams at the top of her lungs and reaches her hands over her mother's shoulders for me.
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Heat licks at the back of my neck and I refuse to look behind me, a cacophony of screams but this time not of anger but utter turmoil and sorrow. A man of the cloth to my right surrounded by passengers as he repeats passages from the bible.
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"I love you, Taylor" I murmur as tears escape my eyes, anticipating the water of the Mediterranean ocean and the impact that will pull us under. Before I gaze into Maddie's eyes as she glances over her mother's shoulder. Her face wide in shock and terror as I catch the reflection of flames in her eyes. A scream rips out of her lungs and I grab onto her and her mother. There's no escape my mind briefly reminds me and I accept my fate. I was cautious, I planned and I had every reason to survive. Factors like fire or clouds of billowing smoke are not something you can deny. Taking one very brief look behind me and facing the music, flames licking up the aisles, in a matter of moments my rational brain assures me it will all be over.
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Humming and singing along to the only Johnny cash song I can locate in my mind as the child whimpers in my arms. “And we loved and we laughed the pain away. At the end of the journey, when our last song is sung. Will you meet me in heaven someday”
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"Thank you" the mother calls out to me as I hold her child between us, wedged in the aisle of a large passenger plane. It rocks, like we're in the middle of a sodding typhoon. Taking a breath I realise my delirium as I laugh my subconscious reminding me that I had worried about dying of lung cancer two years ago from all of the smoking. All of those years smoking I had told myself must have damaged my lungs beyond repair yet here I am now in the middle of an unsurvivable plane crash. Falling through the sky, plucked from the earth. Accepting my fate, I think of my wife one more time and pray until there is no fire any longer. Until the heat no longer exists and my mind is at peace. Until I am free from the world.
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