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#3

《当HR掏出圣剑裁员的瞬间，我喊出了前世医保密码》

翎淵 翎淵
Apr 30, 2025 4 3 Mins Read
x
No Plagiarism!PKviR4SzBJdM666HbbKSposted on PＥNAＮＡ

【1】「优化通知」与「圣剑发光」是同时发生的

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJnxio2IbF

「——基于绩效考核，您已被列入人才优化名单。」  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRN9WnvZEsY

星野晴推来的文件上，「解雇通知书」五个字正被某种力量灼烧成金色。她身后的百叶窗无风自动，在墙上投下十字架状的锋利阴影。  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0vMQkDNky

「根据《员工守则》第666条，」她指尖划过纸张，羊皮卷般的触感让我胃部抽搐，「我有权立即回收公司财产……包括您非法持有的黑暗魔力。」  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5YdllM3AR

办公室突然陷入死寂，空调通风口传来使魔的尖叫：「陛下！她胸前名牌在古魔语里念作『勇者执照』啊！」  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8z25zPJlW

下一秒，星野晴的钢笔伸长成银色细剑，剑柄刻着「株式会社 圣剑HR」的LOGO。  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfFiXLSOTJ

【2】魔王对抗裁员的底牌竟是社会保险

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9K3WY7VI7c

剑风劈碎打卡机的瞬间，我扑向办公桌抽屉：「等等！我有厚生年金保险！」  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3pQ6J5Rm7

「……哈？」圣剑僵在半空。  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92j9ikkWxv

「根据《转生者劳动保护法》第13条！」我甩出社保卡，卡面在圣光中浮现出地狱火防伪标记，「黑暗生物被圣属性攻击属于工伤！您想上《异世界劳基署》头条吗？」  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3O5jVKmxMa

星野晴的剑尖微妙地颤抖了——就像三百年前她发现我偷偷给圣剑投保时一样。  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJ0kmLCzU4

「……狡猾。」她摘掉眼镜，瞳孔泛起鎏金波纹，「但您似乎忘了——」  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4qMyP0OUB

唰啦！

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzqygQO2GL

她突然用剑挑断我的领带，露出锁骨下方的魔王纹章，那是上次被圣剑贯穿的旧伤。  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYPWZGQAUM

「现在属于私人恩怨了，陛下。」  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgRm6z9ufD

【3】当Excel变成魔法阵

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xZ6Zsc1xl

「使魔！启动B计划！」我踹翻咖啡机，飞溅的液体在空中结成黑魔法契约阵——正是上周它偷偷用公司打印机搞的副业。  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCy4GBmXgV

「以株式会社·地狱第七分部的名义！」使魔从消防栓后跳出，爪子里举着扫码枪，「您已被「黑暗商会」登记为VIP客户！现在购买『圣剑意外险』享7折——」  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbnbFal4wB

星野晴的剑光劈碎保险传单，但更多文件从碎纸机里喷发：  

- 《魔王城拆迁补偿金追讨委托书》  

- 《精神损失费索赔清单（含勇者暴力行为300次记录）》  

- 《社畜之神信仰放弃声明》  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2be2S3UabD

「这些都是……？」她愣神的刹那，我捏碎藏在袖口的魔王城最后一块砖（一直当减压玩具带着），黑雾瞬间凝成微型王座挡下圣剑。  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqX1b7MuhSA

「现代职场守则第一条——」我坐在王座残骸上咧嘴一笑，「永远留个后手。」  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EO0KA1cVi

【4】女神系统的真相 

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88UOAwJ3eE

突然，整栋大楼响起机械女声：  

「检测到未登记魔法战，启动『员工冲突净化程序』」

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbN3PThngrQ

天花板裂开，无数发光锁链射向我们，锁链末端竟是加班申请表的形状！星野晴突然闷哼跪地，她后颈浮现出和地下室员工相同的契约纹章。  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2chzgd9oTk

「原来如此。」我盯着她被锁链缠绕的剑，「你也是……被系统控制的员工？」  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVok2pKZKpX

她挣扎着抬头，金瞳中闪过一丝我熟悉的倔强：「快走……这公司是女神的『信仰收割机』……！」  

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCT8QBV7ao

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUfAAaTRUU

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEq1Uz4NyS

8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pZ99wwAgN

18.118.95.74

ns18.118.95.74da2
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魔王退休后跑去当社畜了
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Table of Contents
#0 Intro
#1 《被裁员后，我决定用诅咒让上司天天腹泻》
#2 《在茶水间召唤使魔后，它帮我做了Excel》
#3 《当HR掏出圣剑裁员的瞬间，我喊出了前世医保密码》
#4 《加入魔王工会后，我的考勤表变成了恶魔契约》
#5 《我的使魔偷偷注册了“恶魔Uber”，接单圣水外送》
#6 《HR勇者记忆全解锁后，发现我们曾是……酒友？！》
#7 《被迫和HR勇者“商务合宿”后，魔王的SAN值归零了》  
#8 《当“女神黑料包”解压后，全公司都SAN值崩坏了》
#9 《当女神兔耳照流出后，三界开始集体罢工》
#10 《当地狱推行955工作制后，魔王被骂“工贼”了》
#11 《当使魔发行“冥币NFT”后，三界经济崩溃了》
#12 《当女神在便利店打工后，她终于理解了人间疾苦》
#13 《当三界战争变成“线上PK”后，没人想上班了》  
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