魔王退休后跑去当社畜了 - 《我的使魔偷偷注册了“恶魔Uber”，接单圣水外送》 | Penana

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People Who Like This

#5

《我的使魔偷偷注册了“恶魔Uber”，接单圣水外送》

翎淵

Apr 30, 2025

6

2 Mins Read

x

No Plagiarism!yxEagFnPTFjn3WBtPNu2posted on PＥNAＮＡ

【1】“陛下，我找到财富密码了！”

凌晨三点，我的使魔突然踹开家门，爪子里挥舞着一部发光手机，屏幕赫然显示：

『恶魔Uber · 新用户注册成功！』

『当前接单：17笔 · 好评率：4.9★』

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGs66W6zwR

「你……用我的社保卡注册了？！」我抓起它摇晃。

「错！是用魔王城遗址当营业地址！」它得意地掏出一沓钞票，「看！光给勇者送“圣水外卖”就赚了3780日元！」

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmfDwmSnhg

我定睛一看——

订单备注：

“送到天界株式会社HR部，备注：加辣，谢谢。”

（客户姓名：星野晴）

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RH3SQdagM

【2】当圣剑HR开始依赖恶魔外送

第二天上班，我发现星野晴的办公桌上堆满“地狱特供”：

“驱魔咖啡”（实际是使魔的洗脚水兑浓缩咖啡）

“天使蛋糕”（用魔王城废墟里捡到的“祝福霉菌”发酵）

“记忆恢复药水”（其实是便利店买的电解质饮料+荧光笔液）

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYpFulermu

「最近的外卖……挺特别。」她抿了一口“圣水特调”，瞳孔微微发金，「味道像极了三百年前地狱第七层的硫磺泉。」

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NozjjkCcd

我冷汗狂流，而躲在通风管的使魔正疯狂打字：

『客户疑似觉醒记忆！建议升级服务——加购“勇者童年照”增值包？（+200日元）』

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvQnMOnlyL

【3】“女神系统”派来了清洁工——其实是天使！

危机爆发在午休时间。

一个戴鸭舌帽的“保洁大叔”突然出现在茶水间，他的拖把划过地面，留下发光圣经文字。

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMT7rxoQRGl

「可疑的外卖……必须净化。」他掀开帽子，露出光环无人机（天界最新科技），直扑使魔的“外卖保温箱”！

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiy7SbWAtNY

「那是我的午饭——！」我假装惨叫，实则暗中启动“恶魔Uber”紧急协议。

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2EY6QDGCZ

砰！

保温箱炸开，飞出三只地狱蝙蝠，叼着订单小票狂喷火焰：

『差评警告！天界用户“米迦勒”未支付“神圣清洁费”！』

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOr7bCrMw3

【4】“您的外卖已升级为宿命对决”

星野晴突然踹门而入，圣剑指着“保洁大叔”：「总部没派过外勤天使……你是谁？」

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZs7BOIKxE3

大叔笑了，皮肤裂开露出数据流：「HR总监NO.1，你被系统判定为“异常员工”了。」

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJzRn3Z9No

天花板突然降下发光锁链，但这次……锁的是星野晴！

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGRa4f1k3c

「路德维希！」她挣扎着喊出我全名，「用那单外卖的——“辣味圣水”！」

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZN7pJtfyK6

我猛地想起订单备注，抄起她桌上的“特调咖啡”泼向天使——

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOK2FlIDVHR

滋滋滋！

“保洁大叔”尖叫溶解，因为所谓的“辣味圣水”……其实是使魔调的“地狱火锅汤底”！

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AIANmgRls

【5】付费断章：系统弹出“记忆解锁”付费窗口！

星野晴喘着气跌坐在地，圣剑上的铭文突然浮现：

『记忆封锁剩余：12%·支付300日元解锁完整日志？』 10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeHjOYZ8Pc

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRWlnzHiPW

10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4i90j4lGs

3.19.244.133

ns3.19.244.133da2

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魔王退休后跑去当社畜了

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Table of Contents

#1 《被裁员后，我决定用诅咒让上司天天腹泻》

#2 《在茶水间召唤使魔后，它帮我做了Excel》

#3 《当HR掏出圣剑裁员的瞬间，我喊出了前世医保密码》

#4 《加入魔王工会后，我的考勤表变成了恶魔契约》

#5 《我的使魔偷偷注册了“恶魔Uber”，接单圣水外送》

#6 《HR勇者记忆全解锁后，发现我们曾是……酒友？！》

#7 《被迫和HR勇者“商务合宿”后，魔王的SAN值归零了》

#8 《当“女神黑料包”解压后，全公司都SAN值崩坏了》

#9 《当女神兔耳照流出后，三界开始集体罢工》

#10 《当地狱推行955工作制后，魔王被骂“工贼”了》

#11 《当使魔发行“冥币NFT”后，三界经济崩溃了》

#12 《当女神在便利店打工后，她终于理解了人间疾苦》

#13 《当三界战争变成“线上PK”后，没人想上班了》

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