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People Who Like This
#7

《被迫和HR勇者“商务合宿”后，魔王的SAN值归零了》  

翎淵 翎淵
Apr 30, 2025 5 3 Mins Read
x
No Plagiarism!OpX00jSI4V3PCzx1AJUUposted on PＥNAＮＡ

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15m8eXOiaZ

【1】“这是职场霸凌！绝对！”  

「全员注意！」人事部长拍着手宣布，「本次『增强团队凝聚力』活动选址在——箱根·女神温泉酒店！」  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ysTkW4B75

台下响起稀稀拉拉的掌声，而我盯着手中行程表最后一行的「魔王勇者强制组队」字样，捏碎了圆珠笔。  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZRSFc9HDf

「请多指教呢，路德维希前辈。」星野晴微笑递来组队契约书，背后圣剑形状的行李牌闪闪发光。  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCy1XxKlvB

使魔从我口袋里探出头：「陛下，她刚才在『前辈』俩字上加了死亡重音啊！」  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRZEJsqI8z

【2】混浴池里的圣剑与魔王城谈判  

「为、为什么是混浴啊？！」我裹着浴巾缩在温泉角落。  

「公司传统哦。」星野晴面不改色地泡在池中（圣剑用防水布包着放在触手可及处），「据说女神大人喜欢看员工坦诚相见。」  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwpETV3Csf

雾气中，她突然推来一张浮盘，上面摆着两杯清酒和……我的魔王纹身复印件。  

「趁现在系统监控不到，」她压低声音，「谈谈合作吧——你帮我拆了咖啡机，我帮你讨回魔王城拆迁款。」  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmsItXCWwK

我盯着清酒里自己扭曲的倒影：「这算……职场性骚扰还是宿敌勒索？」  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKMYDrGBch

【3】居酒屋的“恶魔Uber”紧急配送  

「干杯——！」同事们欢呼着灌下啤酒时，我的使魔正伪装成吉祥物，用尾巴在桌下给星野晴传小纸条：  

『您订购的“弑神牙签”已送达  

※含地狱火辣味※  

当前累计消费：4980日元，再付20円可解锁“女神黑料包”』  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQ5zvhSrW5

突然，部长醉醺醺地搭住我肩膀：「路德维希君！来说说你和星野总监的『特别关系』吧！」  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwRlDj6oFh

全桌寂静中，星野晴淡定举起手机：「根据《员工守则》第66条，性骚扰可判处圣光炙烤之刑哦。」  

手机屏幕上赫然是她刚下单的『天罚圣光·聚会用分装版』配送倒计时。  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwoC0XZob7

【4】深夜走廊的“加班”是认真的吗？  

凌晨两点，我被敲门声惊醒。  

门外站着穿浴衣的星野晴，怀里抱着咖啡机设计图和一瓶酒：「来『加班』。」  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4AG3QU4QG

我们蹲在走廊角落研究图纸时，她突然指着某处：「看，这里写着『本机使用魔王城核心驱动』……」  

「什么？！那岂不是我的——」  

「嘘！」她突然捂住我的嘴。  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUWRKhVQpo

走廊尽头，社长正飘在空中检查每间房门（他的睡衣下摆露出数据线组成的触须）。  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0EaRScbx8

「……现在信了吧？」她呼出的酒气喷在我耳畔，「你们魔王城被拆迁后……改造成了压榨人类的电池。」  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJ0PYWOWld

【5】浴衣领口里的记忆芯片  

就在社长飘走的瞬间，星野晴的浴衣领口滑出一枚发光芯片。  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9ZL8FkEQa

「最后一块记忆碎片，」她苦笑着拉起我的手按在芯片上，「但需要两人份的魔力才能读取……」  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsySralS5jX

我的使魔突然弹出付费界面：  

『解锁“勇者最想删除的记忆”需支付：  

500日元 或 1个魔王城的灵魂碎片』  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqbx90nsbJ

（💸灵魂暴击：芯片突然投影出年轻勇者对着女神比中指的影像，配字：「老娘不干这破HR了！」）  

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCbD5uxjkt

9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26SkeoXYlC

3.137.142.253

ns3.137.142.253da2
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魔王退休后跑去当社畜了
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Table of Contents
#0 Intro
#1 《被裁员后，我决定用诅咒让上司天天腹泻》
#2 《在茶水间召唤使魔后，它帮我做了Excel》
#3 《当HR掏出圣剑裁员的瞬间，我喊出了前世医保密码》
#4 《加入魔王工会后，我的考勤表变成了恶魔契约》
#5 《我的使魔偷偷注册了“恶魔Uber”，接单圣水外送》
#6 《HR勇者记忆全解锁后，发现我们曾是……酒友？！》
#7 《被迫和HR勇者“商务合宿”后，魔王的SAN值归零了》  
#8 《当“女神黑料包”解压后，全公司都SAN值崩坏了》
#9 《当女神兔耳照流出后，三界开始集体罢工》
#10 《当地狱推行955工作制后，魔王被骂“工贼”了》
#11 《当使魔发行“冥币NFT”后，三界经济崩溃了》
#12 《当女神在便利店打工后，她终于理解了人间疾苦》
#13 《当三界战争变成“线上PK”后，没人想上班了》  
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