[1] "SHOCKING! Demon King & Hero's 'Contract Marriage' Exposed?!"
The Three Realms Tabloid headline screamed above a blurry photo of the "Demon King and Hero signing documents at midnight."
Exclusive Details:32Please respect copyright.PENANA3E9Z44dYRX
"Per anonymous angel source, Ludwig and Hoshino Akira allegedly signed a Fake Marriage Contract, including:32Please respect copyright.PENANAGW0SjLvWf8
✅ Minimum 3 "couple streams" monthly (penalty: 100M Hell Coins)32Please respect copyright.PENANANv4hmnAo1I
✅ No holy sword/dark magic brawls in public32Please respect copyright.PENANAY17KfibM3r
✅ Hotpot must be split-spicy (violators wash dishes for 300 years)"
Me (Demon King), hurling the newspaper: "This was us signing the Anti-Goddess Alliance!!"32Please respect copyright.PENANAdm8UOAZug1
Hoshino, icy calm: "Wrong focus—" She pointed to the fine print:32Please respect copyright.PENANA3KtVlS0OMy
"Source: Former Goddess · Current Convenience Store Clerk"
[2] Goddess’ Paparazzi Side Hustle & Familiar’s Media Empire
In the convenience store surveillance room, the Goddess snooped on celebrities with her "Holy Surveillance Goggles":
Otaku Demon secretly built a "Goddess Mockery Park" in Animal Crossing: Hell (complete with bunny-ear statue)
Three-Headed Hound Union traded "Overwork Insurance" (beneficiaries: themselves)
Demon King & Hero "sharing instant noodles" in the break room (!)
Goddess, grinning: "This noodle pic’s worth 5M Hell Coins to Celestial Gossip Weekly, right?"32Please respect copyright.PENANAWwY8JGaEgi
Suddenly, the familiar dropped from the vent with a business card:32Please respect copyright.PENANAknmLp2GMJS
"CEO of Three Realms TMZ here! Want to be a freelance journalist? Salary: 30 spicy strips + shock collar deactivation rights!"
[3] Leaked: "Hot Springs ‘Business Retreat’" Scandal!
Special Report:32Please respect copyright.PENANAzlJl3fuXfG
"Demon King & Hero’s ‘Work Trip’ Truth!"32Please respect copyright.PENANAfGS3Pyk1EJ
Exclusive Photos:
Photo 1: Their weapons (holy sword & demon staff) towel-covered in the mixed bath
Photo 2: A single bed (pillows with claw marks)
Photo 3: Familiar’s door sign: "Do Not Disturb (Negotiations Ongoing)"
Hoshino, dialing furiously: "You photoshopped this?!"32Please respect copyright.PENANAcAFwrYDRb6
Goddess: "Nope. You two just suck at hiding."
[4] Damage Control Livestream Gone Wrong
Me, reading script: "Regarding rumors, HR Director Hoshino and I maintain a strictly professional—"32Please respect copyright.PENANA28oP2Dx2eA
Chat spam:32Please respect copyright.PENANAzhoRmivbEK
[Lava PM: Your tie matches her hairclip!]32Please respect copyright.PENANAN51hRhYojm
[Celestial IRS: Contract marriage violates Heaven’s Bigamy Act!]32Please respect copyright.PENANAWWp6OqLYDp
[Goddess: 1M Hell Coins unlocks hot springs audio!]
Hoshino, snatching the mic: "Fine. You want proof?!"32Please respect copyright.PENANApeYJNaNDSX
She slammed a 300-year-old Ceasefire Agreement on the desk, its final clause:32Please respect copyright.PENANAVdQgnKOMkw
"Should both parties survive to peacetime, Ludwig must fulfill promise: Treat Akira to 10 hotpot meals (spicy level: her choice)."
Silence.32Please respect copyright.PENANAicP5v62Z7T
Familiar, whispering: "Is this... a ship confirmation?"