The things I hate. - Existing. | Penana

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#20

Existing.

savandler

Jun 6, 2025

133

1 Min Read

They always ask,

”If you could describe yourself in one word what would it be?”

My answer would be worthless.

But of course I can’t say that.

I dream to be an author,

But what do dreams matter when they’re wrong.

Your imagination is not your reality.

You can’t go to other worlds just by dreaming.

Your dreams don’t matter they never will.

What matters is how you pay the bills.

So I won’t say worthless,

I won’t say an author,

I won’t say imaginative,

I won’t say pretty,

I won’t say smart,

I won’t say worthy,

I won’t say loved.

I will say “Existing.”

That’s my one word.

The word to describe myself.

The one that isn’t as dangerous as worthless.

Existing.

It’s all I can do.

All I must do.

Existing,

Existing,

Existing.

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The things I hate.

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Table of Contents

#1 C.W. I hate the memories I still have.

#2 I hate how I feel.

#3 I hate the lies I tell every day.

#4 I hate my philophobia.

#5 I hate the distance.

#6 I hate waking up.

#7 I hate you C.W.

#8 I hate being empty.

#9 I hate that I can’t cry anymore.

#10 The real payment.

#11 I hate being afraid.

#12 They call me pretty until I tell them no.

#13 I hate the mask I wear.

#14 Why do strangers care when they’re online?

#16 The backup.

#17 If I meet you again.

#23 My reasons.

#25 Just a question.

#26 Pain is expressed in different ways.