No Plagiarism!ScmMlRGVF29ejSXkZOymposted on PENANA 她第一次見到林悅燃,是在身心科候診區。8964 copyright protection17PENANAG0BICVVhdc 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAbCMkamr3gh
8964 copyright protection17PENANAHr4GrmDy3n 維尼
高瘦得彷彿青年的女孩正用指甲摳牆上的乳膠漆,8964 copyright protection17PENANAsAESUF63xg 維尼
指尖沾滿白色碎屑,像某種自殘的儀式。8964 copyright protection17PENANAk037p15U6q 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAfghQWdMPnb
8964 copyright protection17PENANAnpr9TDhsae 維尼
護士喊到「37號」時,8964 copyright protection17PENANAp3esUCw0a1 維尼
女孩突然跳起來,撞翻了沈藍的藥袋。8964 copyright protection17PENANAFsL1pBaho1 維尼
百憂解和贊安諾掉了出來,8964 copyright protection17PENANAArKLtSjpA5 維尼
混入了女孩渾身殘留的顏料氣味。8964 copyright protection17PENANACLx1OYrBMk 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANACVSaQ4F4rj
8964 copyright protection17PENANAx2BONQ3oZH 維尼
「妳的藥。」女孩蹲下來,幫忙收拾時手微微抖著:「綠白的膠囊的像未成熟的豆子,淺藍錠劑則是被壓扁的湖水,和我的很不一樣。」8964 copyright protection17PENANAkSRsJNej6A 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANASFafsfI2cl
8964 copyright protection17PENANAyGS5PmYbkq 維尼
診間傳來病患鬼吼聲時,女孩笑了:「我比較躁動,所以醫生會開鋰鹽給我,那玩意兒吃多了手會抖。」8964 copyright protection17PENANADbBFWYL2s4 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAQp7WoSzVBm
8964 copyright protection17PENANAikIdjE8eag 維尼
她伸出手背,皮膚上有一些原子筆畫的人像,極為華麗。8964 copyright protection17PENANAArQL4pqYjv 維尼
「抖著畫出來的速寫,線條特別活。我叫林悅燃。」她看了看藥袋:「妳好啊!沈藍。」8964 copyright protection17PENANA3ZC9I9QTrB 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAKnEhUI6CAJ
8964 copyright protection17PENANApkU9JhlQ2D 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAKJciYTZLB4
8964 copyright protection17PENANAcP2SxLMeUq 維尼
沈藍安靜地接過袋子,點了頭。8964 copyright protection17PENANATEasnexYbE 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAIQFrcFctwr
8964 copyright protection17PENANA4FnE7rvOHP 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAi6gwQg8Y6E
8964 copyright protection17PENANACxUpGKS5zb 維尼
沈藍每週三固定來拿藥。8964 copyright protection17PENANAST311GrLwC 維尼
她其實不覺得自己生病,她只是腳腕受傷了,8964 copyright protection17PENANAFMDMBpRCOg 維尼
不再能跳芭蕾而已。8964 copyright protection17PENANAdAojDGm5lx 維尼
那古典芭蕾是她母親喜歡的,不是她喜歡的。8964 copyright protection17PENANAjK5EAF8M6f 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAwVtznTprFo
8964 copyright protection17PENANAvce7v3yeB8 維尼
她拿過好幾個獨舞的獎項,8964 copyright protection17PENANAN3uz5Tg98K 維尼
那只是因為她擅長像個被扭上發條的音樂娃娃,8964 copyright protection17PENANAdfOf2F2oNX 維尼
完美依照別人的意志旋轉。8964 copyright protection17PENANAmWLHVOoPDw 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANANRAZHwlMDP
8964 copyright protection17PENANAAIKSCcyNtf 維尼
起初是腳踝扭傷,再來是脛前疼痛與跟腱炎,8964 copyright protection17PENANANsjzo1ZDML 維尼
她都能忍耐,發展成彈響髖與軟骨撕裂時,8964 copyright protection17PENANAzbxVYmENBb 維尼
她實在撐不住了。8964 copyright protection17PENANAXZ2fBZFm6R 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAo6R7uND6Pd
8964 copyright protection17PENANAsdxUI9JVHa 維尼
醫生說練習過度讓她永遠的壞掉了,8964 copyright protection17PENANAm2zFyqyzwX 維尼
而她本來也不是很愛笑的孩子。8964 copyright protection17PENANAfLq7yEZzf8 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAMSL7uOxM3P
8964 copyright protection17PENANAxlfOJLCoEs 維尼
當她沒辦法微笑回答教練與家人的問題時,8964 copyright protection17PENANASpSy070zkk 維尼
全部的人都叫她來看醫生。8964 copyright protection17PENANA2GKnSIS9yQ 維尼
看完醫生她才發覺自己原來是可以流淚的,8964 copyright protection17PENANA0c1zbVsgjN 維尼
而且,臉上竟然可以哭出兩條河流。8964 copyright protection17PENANA67Arc8r86X 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAYuVOaQHtFV
8964 copyright protection17PENANA7S1M7seDbg 維尼
沈藍開始注意37號的規律:好幾個月活力十足,好幾個月又顯得沮喪。8964 copyright protection17PENANAi6NuAbQfUx 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAbuSi9qJrQW
8964 copyright protection17PENANAzZW1OxcqzG 維尼
精神充沛的林悅燃會拿護士站的原子筆,8964 copyright protection17PENANAdOFlVn0uTD 維尼
在候診區的牆上畫燃燒的教堂;8964 copyright protection17PENANAFvNMCqiLJX 維尼
低潮期的林悅燃則仰頭在塑膠椅上看天花板,8964 copyright protection17PENANALhEpA1VHsq 維尼
將自己的手背抓得傷痕累累。8964 copyright protection17PENANA9b7MvmMzYt 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAafTjTDE4gA
8964 copyright protection17PENANAf6DVjfAleE 維尼
有次沈藍拿出包包中的面紙,8964 copyright protection17PENANAGdFFP7m3YG 維尼
想幫她擦血,林悅燃突然抓住她手腕:「妳好靜,聞起來像下雨前的湖。」8964 copyright protection17PENANALUIKln76kf 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAo8yhD7ImJG
8964 copyright protection17PENANAtT47Rd7nTB 維尼
她翻了翻包包,取出色鉛筆,8964 copyright protection17PENANAMFvnALfBS4 維尼
在一張便條紙背面畫落滿星光的紫色的湖。8964 copyright protection17PENANAIYJZIzzZZp 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAk3h0FMxvdD
8964 copyright protection17PENANAd7s2WgHNaK 維尼
「醫生說我躁期時腦內多巴胺是妳的好多倍。」8964 copyright protection17PENANAROLlgLkksv 維尼
她把畫塞進沈藍的藥袋:「分妳一點。」8964 copyright protection17PENANA21GQaEQ32V 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAGTuUDMqb76
8964 copyright protection17PENANAJdOIFBSDY7 維尼
沈藍後來把那幅畫貼在冰箱,8964 copyright protection17PENANAq3XVGfdo6T 維尼
在每個吞藥的早晨凝視那些狂亂美麗的筆觸——8964 copyright protection17PENANAS90oltReKD 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAmb50yG9C50
8964 copyright protection17PENANAlwmrkaFvMp 維尼
那是她永遠無法抵達的無秩序世界。8964 copyright protection17PENANALF0nXid3Bc 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANArsmZgl3UWw
8964 copyright protection17PENANAIxcgj02B4D 維尼
她開始在日曆上標註林悅燃的複診日,8964 copyright protection17PENANAicNUkBEm9a 維尼
讓兩個人的掛號時間能夠重複,8964 copyright protection17PENANA3WxH85fD1v 維尼
紅筆圈起來的數字像一串小小的櫻桃,8964 copyright protection17PENANARrEATSDfZz 維尼
提醒她在那天要穿上最柔軟的外套,8964 copyright protection17PENANAOUldkeISva 維尼
因為林悅燃總喜歡摸她的袖口,8964 copyright protection17PENANAXD3f8gZBCk 維尼
靠著她的肩膀,8964 copyright protection17PENANAKVGGdynZR6 維尼
說像在撫摸一朵還沒開始下雨的柔軟的雲。8964 copyright protection17PENANAQINdAhgWK1 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAuSO0bSGRVM
8964 copyright protection17PENANAK7LAfUbtYr 維尼
這朵雲喜歡被撫摸。8964 copyright protection17PENANAGlF9YUQVgy 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANApRK8p8MtNc
8964 copyright protection17PENANAgAgQVxgnFa 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANATY1BIxbwVd
8964 copyright protection17PENANApoAPSRzOPC 維尼
林悅燃迷戀沈藍的靜默。8964 copyright protection17PENANAxkOaN9BYVq 維尼
她總在朝天花板發呆時,8964 copyright protection17PENANAzO0YRmatXL 維尼
想起沈藍那雙淡褐色的瞳孔,8964 copyright protection17PENANAB99QUvBMll 維尼
鑲嵌在蒼白漂亮的小臉上,8964 copyright protection17PENANAiTuJmrxAYm 維尼
像兩潭被鎮靜劑凍結的湖水。8964 copyright protection17PENANA5aQKReZtCD 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAhL7mmBfKqA
8964 copyright protection17PENANArrprIXQl6Q 維尼
有次沈藍飄飄的細軟長髮勾到診療椅螺絲,8964 copyright protection17PENANA50wQSagQAQ 維尼
林悅燃湊近解開時,聞到她衣領飄出的皂香,8964 copyright protection17PENANACrGjp5DEs5 維尼
竟比鋰鹽更能平息她腦內的雷暴。8964 copyright protection17PENANA6P8hqBNhoW 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAC5Yk9L9pO8
8964 copyright protection17PENANAXzAJXQi0CM 維尼
「妳的憂鬱好乾淨,」她在一張一張送給沈藍的便條紙畫作背後寫道:「像手術刀劃開的傷口,邊緣整齊。不像我,是個潰爛的痂。」8964 copyright protection17PENANAoRE2onHXWy 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAkMlJRil8rQ
8964 copyright protection17PENANAwAEa9Nlzqn 維尼
林悅燃送的畫作太多了。8964 copyright protection17PENANAleyNbYnwMC 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANApIwND6eDll
8964 copyright protection17PENANAeCiM6MWDFy 維尼
作為回禮,沈藍拆了自己的髮圈給她。8964 copyright protection17PENANA44RLCdw5wu 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANA8HYbskkSVk
8964 copyright protection17PENANAgmR3ohKT4L 維尼
林悅燃沒有長髮,她亂翹的短髮像個小帥哥,連眼睛都蓋不上,所以她把髮圈套在手腕,讓那些淡金色的編織陪伴她畫畫,彷彿這樣就能把沈藍的克制基因移植到自己沸騰的血液裡。8964 copyright protection17PENANA3WVSHFI1wS 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAJ2weYxJN1B
8964 copyright protection17PENANAPmxSCZPtOw 維尼
她們的互相吸引是場化學叛變。8964 copyright protection17PENANARxH6jxzL8V 維尼
沈藍的熱情匱乏撞上林悅燃的情緒海嘯,8964 copyright protection17PENANAQMFvAqumq7 維尼
在身心科塑膠椅上形成微型颱風眼。8964 copyright protection17PENANALfdX5Vn11g 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAO49RXGu22y
8964 copyright protection17PENANAdzOS9wG8FS 維尼
當林悅燃用香菸燙過的掌心,8964 copyright protection17PENANAPfNyKEwSN0 維尼
握住沈藍割傷的手腕內側時,8964 copyright protection17PENANAaJ8mMMaPzs 維尼
兩種相反的痛覺神經竟傳遞出相同的訊號——8964 copyright protection17PENANAsZpKnizvLF 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAUBsaQZ1DUh
8964 copyright protection17PENANAwxSVkVIffw 維尼
原來毀滅與被毀滅,都是情感的變體。8964 copyright protection17PENANAg6xrd6tTgj 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAoOihmJVxp6
8964 copyright protection17PENANADmUkqbUfdI 維尼
沈藍的傷口很淺,8964 copyright protection17PENANAEjPFlAGKl4 維尼
是美工刀劃出的工整直線;8964 copyright protection17PENANAyFctv6qJbL 維尼
林悅燃的燙傷卻像幅潑墨畫,8964 copyright protection17PENANAXmSP4NbTos 維尼
邊緣泛著不平整的組織液。8964 copyright protection17PENANAqjpP0ANFOY 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANA5w8YfTB2Cw
8964 copyright protection17PENANA689ZvgJi8T 維尼
她們交換創可貼時,林悅燃突然咬破自己的指尖,將血珠抹在沈藍的唇上:「這樣我們多出來的成分就能在對方體內循環。」她湊近沈藍耳邊:「妳知道嗎?憂鬱症患者的唾液裡有種特殊蛋白質。」8964 copyright protection17PENANAw5LVzUeh0N 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAKwlb6nEKFa
8964 copyright protection17PENANAJkTkWv7GFJ 維尼
「妳想嚐嚐嗎?」沈藍單純是好奇。8964 copyright protection17PENANAkCNAqm7UxF 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANANSKrix9iwU
8964 copyright protection17PENANADssfohCdqX 維尼
林悅燃沒有回答,只是垂下臉,8964 copyright protection17PENANAIXlIKe8Umq 維尼
純潔地吻了沈藍一下。8964 copyright protection17PENANAP3m5fG5Z0N 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANADLzrjUZP2L
8964 copyright protection17PENANAVFf5RZgtnZ 維尼
沈藍坐著沒有動。臉頰有些發燙。8964 copyright protection17PENANAVTMublRi84 維尼
不知道為什麼,8964 copyright protection17PENANAQtapAICs33 維尼
她覺得自己不再是音樂盒上旋轉的發條娃娃了。8964 copyright protection17PENANAxRE0fzkLL8 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAcADYGb4x1o
8964 copyright protection17PENANALoVrMmlkxH 維尼
所以她抬頭,也吻了林悅燃一下,微微張著唇。8964 copyright protection17PENANALtJ2MwGfw3 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANA8zVxbjcod6
8964 copyright protection17PENANAriTB200Mbj 維尼
兩人的舌尖羞澀而滑溜地,輕輕碰觸在一起。8964 copyright protection17PENANAFw5xXgu19E 維尼
嚐起來有鐵鏽味,也有心跳的聲音。8964 copyright protection17PENANAMa6hKhY8Sr 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAPyMxhaYt4D
8964 copyright protection17PENANAus6D8FfD0q 維尼
「妳的心跳太規律了,我要讓它學會叛逃。」8964 copyright protection17PENANA7eHDMfQszB 維尼
林悅燃笑嘻嘻的,聽到護士叫號37,便進去診間。8964 copyright protection17PENANA5pozMkOF22 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAK8EGyyLlAa
8964 copyright protection17PENANA371rYvevtE 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAegGWTBVAGx
8964 copyright protection17PENANAuUKmLsiCsf 維尼
那年冬天特別冷。8964 copyright protection17PENANAsB8fsmBNXB 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANA0yf23yaGSu
8964 copyright protection17PENANAyrpi95veJF 維尼
沈藍回診的次數越拉越長,8964 copyright protection17PENANAXodIqQrNsv 維尼
醫生說她慢慢在康復。8964 copyright protection17PENANAjcKzWBXXdV 維尼
但她發現林悅燃的鋰鹽劑量逐漸增加,8964 copyright protection17PENANAjuNrqvTYKg 維尼
畫作裡的火苗開始變形,像被冰凍住的火災現場。8964 copyright protection17PENANAjG2JMbbBtq 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAzViF3SZ1iL
8964 copyright protection17PENANAR3kPGfPdgN 維尼
她數過林悅燃藥袋裡的東西。8964 copyright protection17PENANAOInDkMi46D 維尼
比她多許多,所以林悅燃比她痛。8964 copyright protection17PENANAcUQjXx4j9Y 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAofw5kK2Ux5
8964 copyright protection17PENANA7LUhtMwzLK 維尼
沈藍有一次忍不住詢問醫生,8964 copyright protection17PENANAHUuBiQWQty 維尼
但醫生說醫病關係需要保密,8964 copyright protection17PENANAEJzpGh8M09 維尼
不能透漏什麼,但在家庭支持方面,8964 copyright protection17PENANAqiHpf0FV7D 維尼
林悅燃比較沒辦法獲得良好的助益。8964 copyright protection17PENANATybEPBg5u0 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANANCi4UCTDDA
8964 copyright protection17PENANAvp78W7j3x6 維尼
吃藥僅僅是延緩靈魂被瘋狂浸蝕而已。8964 copyright protection17PENANAr7aEy0zs3J 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANA1fNtQ9JbsH
8964 copyright protection17PENANAPsCsE3rBiG 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAHHzjp2bAkX
8964 copyright protection17PENANAVizkqjZAUN 維尼
沈藍躺在浴缸裡,8964 copyright protection17PENANAiGpk1jgOGm 維尼
注視林悅燃最後給她的一張畫。8964 copyright protection17PENANArLYveBI8WO 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANA3Fs3vxq0tE
8964 copyright protection17PENANAFBfjaJUJwm 維尼
小小的薄薄的便條紙,8964 copyright protection17PENANAe3gJBy3Yti 維尼
畫著她們兩人頭靠頭,8964 copyright protection17PENANAPeLlhrm374 維尼
手牽著手,在醫院等叫號。8964 copyright protection17PENANAbiIz0kBeo9 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANATLmaVcGAGi
8964 copyright protection17PENANAIvum8I3xy6 維尼
妳的憂鬱是我的鎮靜劑8964 copyright protection17PENANAwfUrHNMLhY 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAoXLMEGqAee
8964 copyright protection17PENANATGRzc5G7ED 維尼
背後是林悅燃的字。8964 copyright protection17PENANA3eR0wN3vP2 維尼
她的字好醜。她的畫好美。8964 copyright protection17PENANAmQ9ZOnaFJJ 維尼
水位漫過耳朵時,她終於明白林悅燃為什麼總說,8964 copyright protection17PENANAxs47y7gmxC 維尼
憂鬱是種透明的溺水。8964 copyright protection17PENANAko1Az8m52c 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAG8cNm0KOzl
8964 copyright protection17PENANAhZ479PNwbs 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAc2IEYH5w9Z
8964 copyright protection17PENANAb8pZUNOQMw 維尼
林悅燃沒有再來回診過。8964 copyright protection17PENANAOg4wSmXmlr 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAK1EgEONDsV
8964 copyright protection17PENANAPNS5YfGWly 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAlZVlOnLBhs
8964 copyright protection17PENANA1MicRW5vm5 維尼
當護士喊到「37號」8964 copyright protection17PENANAiBsS1Gi0Y8 維尼
而站起來的37號不是林悅燃時,8964 copyright protection17PENANA6tNd28W8QP 維尼
沈藍突然把手中捏著的,最後一張畫吞了下去。8964 copyright protection17PENANAMx9e9Cilda 維尼
21Please respect copyright.PENANAsnBcjm3MCS
8964 copyright protection17PENANAx92fPxUNjD 維尼
紙漿卡在喉嚨的感覺,8964 copyright protection17PENANAKXIb6rl3Tf 維尼
比她這輩子吞過的所有藥都更接近被愛。8964 copyright protection17PENANA9cONhiXy7C 維尼
(完)8964 copyright protection17PENANALR5SeJLxwF 維尼
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