When that sentence dropped—"I hope this will be a good match"—13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7TZAx7RpW
it felt like a weight slammed down on Suzuran’s chest.
She lowered her gaze, quietly pulled her eyes away, and could no longer swallow even a bite of the dessert.
A moment later, she bit her lip and said, her voice as light as the wind drifting across the dinner table:
“…I’m full. I’ll head back to my room.”
“Huh?” Her father, Masaharu, blinked, a hint of concern in his voice.
But her mother, Kikyo, simply smiled gently and said,13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapHnWDm5Mi
“That’s fine. A young lady’s heart takes time to process things.”
Suzuran rose from her seat, the hem of her dress swaying gently with her steps.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuR1lYANPoQ
She didn’t look back—afraid that if she turned around, all the emotions she’d been holding back would burst out.
Kimijima stood silently by the wall, watching her walk away. His expression remained calm—13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweZVjYR45A
but his fingers clenched slightly around the tray he was holding.
Back in her room, Suzuran locked the door and collapsed onto the soft cream-colored carpet,13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdHim5HXRZ
finally unable to hold back her tears.
It wasn’t because she hated Amagi Yuto.
That cheerful, brilliant, well-mannered classmate was—on paper—impeccable.
Nor was it because of her parents’ expectations.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9PsSQlah4
She knew they had never forced her. They’d only said:13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweE9xE2KU4
“Give it a try. If it doesn’t work, that’s okay.”
But still, she cried—cried so hard her chest throbbed in pain.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyz6BZhrWd6
Because that sentence… had taken root inside her.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQsoLmSJ6V
It coiled around her heart, tightening with every breath.
Because now, she finally understood—
The man she had secretly loved for so many years.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZF3BNZaYN
The one who had been by her side for nearly half her life.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnpOwmS6aR
The one she thought—maybe, just maybe—might like her back, even a little...
Kimijima Koichi—
He had only ever looked at her with loyalty.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTTBLbZqwf
With gratitude.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlPqMuMF2e
With unwavering duty.
There was never desire.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhOAc1GI3t
Never hesitation.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChzhhRk2NY
Not even the faintest sign of emotional conflict or regret.
He’d smiled and wished her a "good marriage."13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fjgKeRqiy
Steady. Courteous. Perfectly appropriate.
Just like he did every morning when he laid out her breakfast,13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1dP0k9DT3
pressed her school uniform,13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33g0cbjLtW
or handed her umbrella in the rain.
She once believed she meant more than that umbrella.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dgX3XyQL4
More than that ironed collar.
But she didn’t. She wasn’t.
She was only—
“My lady.”
Forever.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26hHmJp2JX
Only.
“My lady, it’s me.”
A soft knock came at the door, followed by a familiar, steady voice.
Suzuran jolted upright on the bed, startled from her daze.
She quickly grabbed a handkerchief to wipe away the tear tracks on her cheeks. Her heart pounded wildly.
“…Koichi? Why is he…”
She hesitated, then quietly opened the door just a crack, making sure he wouldn’t see her swollen, tear-stained eyes.
Outside, Kimijima Koichi stood as calm and composed as always, dressed in his usual deep gray butler uniform, a tray in hand.
Seeing the door open, he spoke gently, with impeccable composure:
“My lady, I noticed you hardly ate dinner. I’ve made some sandwiches and light desserts… nothing heavy.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoSRD81PIM
If you’re not feeling well, perhaps you could eat a little.”
Suzuran lowered her gaze, unable to meet his eyes—13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WhIHJnxtC
the eyes she could sketch by memory, yet that showed not a ripple now.
His care was flawless,13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJ86bOWNxs
his tone was gentle,13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6TUE19kf4
but the distance between them remained—chillingly unchanged.
She sniffled, her voice soft:13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0jtbjBx6Q
“…I’m fine.”
Kimijima paused, then replied:13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOqof0ZjZc
“If you’d prefer, I can leave the tray outside. You can take it when you’re ready.”
That offer—so thoughtful, so proper—was also precisely the problem.
Even when he must’ve known she’d been crying, he refused to cross the line.
“No, Koichi. You can come in.”
Her voice trembled slightly, but she forced a calm tone.
He bowed and stepped in, placing the tray carefully on her desk.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKoejRHHIz
The sandwiches were neatly cut.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0vhLUWqte
There was her favorite apple blossom tea.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocPnxT8dYN
And a slice of soft whipped cream cake.
Everything—exactly to her taste.
“My lady… are you alright?”
He turned to her, his eyes calm, his voice soft like moonlight on a spring night.
Suzuran didn’t answer. She bit her lip hard. Her eyes burned again.
Kimijima hesitated, then asked:13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmewrziFsmb
“Is it that you don’t like Yuto Amagi?”
He smiled gently—no pressure in his tone.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aQS5GmGrC
Like he was asking if she wanted Earl Grey or Darjeeling.
That calm smile—without even a trace of bitterness—13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDS5bEU3vMB
hurt more than anything.
“…No,” she finally replied.
“He’s wonderful. Truly.”
“I don’t dislike him…”
She looked up at him—only to find he was standing still, hands folded, keeping a polite distance.
Like a wall.
“It's just... some answers,” she whispered, “I’ve been waiting for... will never come.”
She smiled. And cried.
He didn’t speak.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoX8iiKlNJl
Just bowed his head, silently.
“My body feels unwell... could you feed me?”
Her voice was soft, and her eyes pleaded quietly.
Kimijima blinked. “Me?”
“Yes.” She leaned back into the chair with a faint smile.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3Fvhcdtlc
“I’m feeling so weak… I can’t lift my arms.”
He glanced down at her, but said nothing more.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDElYMoxjS
Instead, he calmly said:
“Then please lie down. I’ll feed you.”
Helping her gently, he guided her to bed with a steady hand—13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dff0a8zIu
all done with flawless professionalism.
Suzuran’s heart fluttered, but she obeyed.
He sat by her bedside, picked up a piece of sandwich with a fork, and held it to her lips.
“Open up, my lady.”
She looked at his composed face and asked quietly:
“Do you… not think this is too intimate?”
He calmly replied:13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINLj0RHgdG
“You’re my responsibility. I’ll take care of you.”
That sentence—
cut colder than any tea without sugar.
After the last bite, he gathered the utensils, as if nothing had happened.
Her heart pounded. She feigned calm:
“Koichi… one more thing.”
“My shoulders are sore… will you massage them?”
He paused.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6a8qgWgg2
“That’s something Lady Sisimi can assist you with—”
“No.”
She suddenly raised her head, voice firm and stubborn.
“I want you, Kimijima Koichi.”
Her gaze held him.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kosxi4FwW
Raw, desperate, aching—with a touch of challenge.
“This is an order.”
Kimijima stared at her.
No emotion on his face.
Just silence.
Then finally—he knelt behind her on the bed.
“…As you command, my lady.”
He placed his hands gently on her shoulders.
Steady. Measured.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkllSTesvg
Every touch restrained by invisible lines.
And that—
was what hurt the most.
"How pathetic... I have to order you... just to be touched," she thought bitterly.
She bit her lip, then suddenly pulled her nightgown slightly off one shoulder.
Smooth, pale skin glowed under the lamp.
“If I can’t move you tonight…”13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeO4Ibacos
“Then I’ll give up.”13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBoIzOFF0R
“But I want to be selfish. Just once more.”
She didn’t turn. Just waited.
Kimijima’s breath faltered—13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuHOxRbuiq
his fingers stopped right at her collarbone.
A half inch lower—13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MMyY8v9cR
and he would cross that forbidden line.
One second.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjJxmNrNBO
Two.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JyQpBULt1
Three.
Then—
he withdrew his hand.
“…My lady, what is this?”
“I want an oil massage. It’s more comfortable,” she said, pulling her neckline lower on the other side.
His hand hovered mid-air.
His voice came out strained—no longer calm, but clipped and trembling:
“…Please don’t joke like this.”
Suzuran didn’t answer. She turned slightly, lashes low, a strange smile on her lips.
She wasn’t joking.
She was gambling.
“If I don’t do this now… I’ll regret it forever.”
“I just want to confirm something.”
Her voice was light—almost lost in the silence.
“I want to know… if you’ve ever seen me as a woman.”
Kimijima froze. His eyes flickered.
“…My lady, I am a man.”
“But your father saved me.”
His voice cracked with tension.
“You doing this… I’ll lose control.”
“Then Koichi… does that mean… you’re shaken?”
Her voice trembled. Full of longing and fear.
Her heart beat wildly.
All she wanted—was a reason to stay.
Kimijima lowered his gaze. His breathing unsteady.
“Please… value yourself more. You shouldn’t—”
“I do value myself, Koichi.”
She looked him in the eyes.
Soft. Sincere. But unwavering.
“Exactly because I do…13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GLdJxx9Up
I want the first man who touches and kisses me—to be you.”
“Not Amagi. Not anyone else.”
That sentence—
like a key that cracked his last restraint.
His eyes widened.
Something inside him—
finally broke.
He reached for her—pulling her into his arms.
But not with force.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2tVJqFFoU
With aching gentleness.
His forehead rested on hers.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8Uy1BjMqw
His breath trembled.
“…You don’t know what you’re doing to me…”
His voice was so low, it almost didn’t exist.
Not a confession.13Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9oZzthIIM
Not a refusal.
Just a fracture.
Suzuran’s eyes glistened.
She finally knew what she wanted.
“Koichi…” she whispered.
“I order you—”
“Kiss me.”
Silence.
He froze.
“Kiss my lips, Koichi.”
He shut his eyes tight.
Like he was battling a storm inside his own body.
“…I’m sorry, my lady.”
His voice was gentle.
But trembling.
“This… is the one order I cannot obey.”
Suzuran stared.
Then the tears came, like a dam breaking.
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