【45. Secret Angel 】801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7yVZpm13A
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死亡是一種哲學。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkH8khsHh5
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不知哪個哲學家曾經說過：801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OXyRjbrma
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如果世上沒有任何人再記得你，這就是最終極的死亡了。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TJItjWFvW
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如果按照這個想法，我應該已經死咗十世。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUNmZsnd25
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但現實只是，我連尋死的勇氣都欠奉。又或者這樣說，喜歡余青玲的王傲風已經死了，如今的我徒具空殻，死與不死又有何分別？801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfypT94Fw4
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接下來的好幾個星期，我都無地自容得不敢再面對她。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdPmitcYCx
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昔日掛在臉上的笑容，如今已不再復見。雖然她嘴裡說著「我冇事」、「唔緊要」，每天都認真地上課、抄筆記，原本做社務的時間用來了上補習班，功課的水準不退反增⋯⋯但我看得出，她只是在裝堅強。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFp7JVjwtm
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我知道自己已沒有資格待她好，但有一個人可以。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHEhUoGMhA
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「咦？咩嚟㗎？阿儀，係咪你㗎？」阿玲揉著眼睛，拿起了一張白卡紙。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkK0PG50S31
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「吓？唔係啊⋯⋯」哈比人應道，一副心不在焉的樣子。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkKD5QUIJP
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阿玲皺一皺眉，看到了卡紙上面有一行行的小字，然後笑了一下。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxpTD38QW1
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這就足夠了。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuNzMGzmgf
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之後數個星期，在放聖誕假前，都有一個人在她的桌上放了一張白卡紙，有時還會附上一排她最愛的朱古力，是那個人上化學堂時偷聽到的牌子，可惜那朱古力經常缺貨，他花掉了一整個下午的時間走遍全元朗，才能搶到這麼一排；買不到的時候，那個人就會用烏龍茶代替。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejtLBmDtxI
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那個人不是想表現出自己的好，他只是想阿玲可以因為他自己所做的一點小事，而變得開心一點點。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlvgRqAfRZ
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後來我從哈比人口中得知，那個人會署名自己為 SA 。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiptLA6sll
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SA，Secret Angel ，祕密的守護天使。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDe4Drv2Qb
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自從SA 出現了之後，阿玲似乎很苦惱，明明班會沒有搞 Secret Angel ，怎麼會有這些白卡紙的出現？SA 的好意，她又應不應該收下呢？801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJp2JSmnoPR
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「阿風？」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYi43n98aqE
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「嗯？」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywQOuDAem8
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「你知唔知邊個送呢啲嘢俾我㗎？」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgw8kUBkp4s
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「唔知喎⋯⋯又會有人咁無聊都有嘅哈哈⋯⋯」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhEJ21oB4M
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「咁⋯⋯如果你知道佢係邊個，你記得要話我知啊！佢係咁送嘢俾我都覺得有啲唔好意思⋯⋯」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskNVlJNB3Q
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「哦⋯⋯好啊⋯⋯係呢，佢其實寫咗啲咩㗎？」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFzj41B9D1
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「其實都冇咩嘅，佢成日都叫我加油同俾心機囉，仲話好鍾意我笑嘅樣，明明就好樣衰哈哈⋯⋯」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wVpAHqznk
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「哦⋯⋯原來係咁⋯⋯」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpEgvwrd55
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北風正宣告聖誕節的來臨；天氣很冷，但依然無法影響聖誕聯歡會的熱鬧氣氛，全校上下都高興地慶祝著，已然忘記了陸運會時的不愉快事件。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnAgX0Yngp
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當我回到班房的時候，其他同學已經將班房裝飾得美輪美奐，金色的鍛帶、七彩的聖誕小球、白板上的聖誕老人鹿車圖⋯⋯甚至還有人不知從哪裡弄來一棵聖誕樹，把它妥當地放在課室一隅。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJwoH84usy
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「阿玲佢今日冇返？」我隨口抓了身旁的同學問道。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHDIVyrTvs
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「吓？阿玲病咗喎，今朝佢同我講佢病到起唔到身㖭，」他擺出一副「乜你唔知咩」的樣子。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfBOIG0hLl
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「吓⋯⋯聖誕聯歡會先嚟病？」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDF9V6ToY3S
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「係囉⋯⋯你係關心人嘅就探下人啦！」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDeD8hq1ZB
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「唔⋯⋯睇下點先喇。」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkM5kiNb0g2
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在洋溢歡樂氣氛的班房裡，一班男生正在猜拳，決定哪個勇者吃下某女生所造的綠色流心地獄薄荷朱古力。不幸的Ivan 猜輸了，只好在其他男人起鬨後吞下朱古力，才一嚥下喉嚨，他的臉便𣊬間變青，差點昏倒。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5JKQpqrJq
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我陪笑了幾下之後，大家便一起吃比薩、飲汽水、交換禮物⋯⋯反正就是派對的例行公事，然後主席忽然舉手，提議我們影一張班相。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWazUdcQBci
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女生在前排互相比高，男生在後排嬉笑怒罵，老師坐在中間沒他們好氣。整個畫面的色彩是何等斑爛好看，彷佛是用青春畫出來的油彩畫，美得連彩虹也羨慕。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXHaJRXJmu
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而我是一幅黑白色的水墨畫。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJUxATjPFj
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我不禁想起在中三最後的上課日，同樣有人不知何時準備了三角架和專業相機，興高采烈地提議影班相。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0i9YpQIg7g
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「好啊！」熱情的阿玲第一個衝了出去，甚至還指揮大家推開礙事的桌子椅子。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7e8gEsReL
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「嚟！高嘅企前面，更高嘅企後面！」阿玲振臂高呼，召集大家來到白板前方。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXESRmAYD6
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於是全班三十多人便壓縮只有班房三分之一的空間，一時之間摩肩接踵，大家都能感受到彼此的鼻息。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7aYlnuAKI
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班主任提著椅子，坐在中間位置，旁邊便是阿玲。幸好我個子不高，一早就被人拉到前排，湊巧就站在阿玲旁邊。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBz2MfmEWF
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她身上傳來迷人的花香，香得令我的心跳漏了一拍，讓我不禁懷疑，這氣味是會令人上癮的。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhEWPHjbRd
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正當我仍陶醉於那香氣的時候，相機忽然發出頻密的閃光。猶在夢中的我連忙擠出一個笑容，但快門早已掠下我的倉皇。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmELhlpG0M
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「王、王傲風，你、你做咩⋯⋯喊啊？」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukCcS63Jd3
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「吓？」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYXTs01P84
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拿著相機的Ivan 呆呆地看著我，一副不知所措的樣子。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSdhXeJGNv
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我摸一摸自己的臉，竟然是濕潤的，眼眶不知何時已熱了起來，淚水如決堤般潸潸落下。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbKOiNWsW0
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我的淚容很快就引起了同學和班主任的注意，周圍漸漸多了交頭接耳的聲音。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMWWHfpEGf
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「你做咩啊？唔好喊啦。」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqupgu0qoVE
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「要唔要紙巾？」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4e5O3MNtw8
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「哎啊⋯⋯講下發生咗咩事啦！」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFQMoIVXGZ
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801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNHzJZrxj9
此時班主任向我遞出了一張紙巾，可我已控制不住自己，一手撥開了她的手，拿起了書包衝出班房，大叫：「唔好意思！我想早退！」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfALaD6CUBi
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX56miIQnYs
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPdpcmVTb1
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02S1hH0Unk
我不管撞跌了多少枱櫈，只管一昧向前衝，淚水不斷往後灑著，黑壓壓的一大片悶在心頭，想吐卻吐不出來。我的雙腿就像著了火，唯有一直向前跑，才能舒服一點點。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2IJRcb8Qv
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmw5u7naGi
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rUkuaEDci
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdoCK0EvUf
原來無論我多麼努力多麼渴望多麼壓抑，我都沒辦法放下她。愈是想忘記她，她就愈常出現在我的腦海裡，就像我在中學裡的所有回憶，都有著她的痕跡，而且永不磨滅。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZy7W74cLmg
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGEZ58VQv7
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1CDd8Xgpj
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9caQP7Nrn
我隨即跳上了一架巴士，竭力抑壓著想哭的衝動，不想任何人見到我的窘態。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWYFPXaclW
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzaHs6ddoo
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVFaDr8FM8
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdV1G71pq1B
然後，不知是緣分所繫，抑或是命運的安排，我隨意下車的地方竟就是阿玲所住的屋宛。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7njnlQJeT
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZm2asJaZZJ
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdbdGxYAYa
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡon4IubSqnp
我猶豫了片刻，結果還是打開了大門。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJBKM3gzGg
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSa6Lp6mvKH
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7d9HloWLD
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgugdw5xga8
世界是涼薄的，連大堂的冷氣都開得特別大，等待升降機的時間也特別長。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpksVR4uE61
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdcAsPCw1A
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUq49elPc0
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYW7q6fl1wT
隨著金屬版上顯示的數字不斷的跳動增加，我的腦袋也漸漸變得混沌、緊張。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2KCU5sIQL
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJqlGRnGML
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMup4cvCcY
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdxgjULqt2
我記得⋯⋯佢係住呢個單位。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjdAvSpfEk
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZubPcaehH6
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZj6lqG9hV
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpy09eqZ99
㩒響門鐘，睇下佢有冇事就走啦⋯⋯801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEgohobAmk
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewUdHL8k9j
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtmMNbIjmq
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5iSMadrpI
我這樣想著，手指卻凝在了門鐘前兩公分的位置動彈不得。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsq6sy4m40
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XQKtyZ3YQ
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxLlrxrjAp
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcItvRw0vxx
我做不到。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiskqdMjaB
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZdIxwFMXo
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SafXfuuxe
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoMQFslsN5
我說不出原因，但我就是做不到，我無法鼓起勇氣面對她。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIuuQE4aTd
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFV5jHGQhmT
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdkm5Pd07v
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ051HL6McHc
於是我收回按鈴的手，轉而往書包裡探，然後拿出了一枝筆和一張白卡紙。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEGKIlpu5u
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTwYXbTdxm
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOczAgF4U6x
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVe85QB2m0
//801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMD0VhJhtNK
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnro8RdlPTW
親愛的阿玲：801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxpIHNRKFB
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jyFT1iNZy
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpV9q1lmoW
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQhQHIKBYj
估唔到咁健康嘅你竟然病咗！仲冇得嚟聖誕聯歡 T.T 不過唔緊要啦！我哋玩得好開心啊！你都要快啲好返知唔知！我哋下學期再見啦 ！^_^ 801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVF9KTtHeYM
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvC3HbbSoZ
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7AvEdjgjS
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgDL2VbAfq
S.A. 801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAer2ZiZlt
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NNj10wlmO
//801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowGGh4dJnW
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpunNCwYbz
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvocfygs9Qk
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnkgx76ECJ
寫完之後，我覺得好像還漏了些甚麼，於是再最後加上了一句：801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMjitnpw2J
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzUzTqD5Nf
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUX1Ot1Z8kl
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDziOizQG0
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0uj0QJzkf
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sE6jS3OK9
P.S. I love you801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kHu19kne3
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzvU5vlnLf
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzqqwmDUaq
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOxxuq1eJ4
我把白卡紙攝進門縫，無聲地離開。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHoYkYHDs6
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGt1N3jmaiB
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymfOTfhoFK
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwkOaXtdIR
原來我真的是想走的，可是走到樓下時，卻有種沒有由的依依不捨。我站在原地看著阿玲的單位，總覺得她會探出頭來跟我say hi。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQt734kjtF
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1roL1gjuh
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEYa8j756H
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWxco0bwPj
最後當然沒有。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAn4fUrrAx
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlwTOYc0x5
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJULtlEhKc
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3DJbXpqKD
我苦笑了一下，跳上了回家的巴士，撥了一通電話。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaKVsEibBJ
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRN5E4Dy35
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPuAOFBfw4
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxODDMzZzK
「喂？」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgMe19iVjr
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtQv61NuHc
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNVapm9SLx
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyzTUeLnho
「咩事啊，阿哥？」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmn1mSkA5ps
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtN41olbQbc
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoj6gyQ1DWB
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoaoyhd82J
「你夜晚得唔得閑啊，我唔開心。」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVVhqSOucG
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10Yn4UDkwd
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQucVDKnJk
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJ9NQXquEt
「好、好啊⋯⋯」801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qKtAWdZ8D
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgzQmRXZVG
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCqSskB1dd
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfrrcGa1JZ
掛斷電話之後，我漫無目的地望向窗邊外的街道。巴士剛好來到了元朗的舊區，陳舊的大廈外牆有如煙燻的痕跡，老店的招牌銹跡斑駁，搖搖欲墜的燈牌上站著幾隻小鳥。眾所周知，這裡是眾多男性放班後的尋歡之地，但正值下午時份，粉色的螢光燈還未是時候亮起。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQUo8zshpS
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDTM4J7PGh
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmZqKQM41c
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTCHnuo0CY
我的視線隨著車廂左搖右擺而晃動，沒有看清掠過的街景，卻捕捉到一個眼熟的身影，正與身旁的男人一起走進一棟大廈。801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuQ9LbwH3A
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmkTsIBqft
.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkpXeMRYt6
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8gQPnz7g7
是⋯⋯老媽？801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6LTEkNe24
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