【47. 愛的重量 】540Please respect copyright.PENANApwAco8r3xz
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男人最終把我領到一道漆成白色的大門前。540Please respect copyright.PENANAcKiSEy6kGq
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「你媽媽就喺入面。」男人收起了嬉皮笑臉如是說。540Please respect copyright.PENANAWQvFPvTMhA
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我的目光在男人和大門之間游移,老實說,我都搞不清現在是甚麼狀況了:先是看見老媽走進了青樓,然後發現一個奇怪的社區中心出現在裡面,現在則有個變態的男人說我媽就在裡面?540Please respect copyright.PENANAGSB3y5H8bV
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千萬個問題如夏蟬般在我腦內不斷叫囂:我應該開門嗎?我應該知道真相嗎?540Please respect copyright.PENANAJubz74oynd
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我的手搭在門把上紋風不動,猶如中了蛇妖的石化術。540Please respect copyright.PENANAa3DP1o85LN
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「開門啦,有啲嘢我覺得你應該要知。」540Please respect copyright.PENANAFbYxpFahcf
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「係呢,我想問,點解你頭先話你知道我會嚟呢到?」我問。540Please respect copyright.PENANA8vJYL2v0RU
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男人揚一揚起眉毛,答道:「我唸,就算兩母子之間關係幾差,都會有想對方好嘅心。」540Please respect copyright.PENANAu72dnsT85e
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我淺淺一笑,不置可否。540Please respect copyright.PENANAaigmSIZqoQ
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我和老媽的關係不是一直都那麼差的。540Please respect copyright.PENANAcSco0P9C4l
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以前我還會跟她一起睡的時候,她總會待我睡了她才會睡。雖然教我讀書的時候很惡,但她吻我的時候卻很溫柔。她會每晚為我做飯煮菜、跟我玩飛行棋、帶我落樓下公園跟其他小朋友玩捉迷藏。540Please respect copyright.PENANA84ezWpK71F
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而媽媽和爸爸,當時還是很恩愛的。540Please respect copyright.PENANA2akavcEwFT
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我尚記得那天在棗紅色跑道上累得像條狗的自己。540Please respect copyright.PENANA5Mz4JSwkKX
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「傲風你咁快就攰啦!」我累得雙手頂著膝蓋,勉力抬頭看面前的矮壯男人。540Please respect copyright.PENANAW2otZqLL3P
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「爸、爸爸⋯⋯你跑得⋯⋯太快喇⋯⋯」我氣喘吁吁道。540Please respect copyright.PENANA6RS6MwLvyq
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「乜你咁渣㗎!我後生嗰時跑過全新界第二㗎!而家都廢咗好多啦,我都成四廿歲人啦,你都仲未快過我。想當年我同班兄弟中三就跑甲組⋯⋯(下刪三千字)」爸爸得意道。每當談起自己在跑道上的戰續時,他總是會談個滔滔不絕,彷彿那是人生中最重要的成就一樣。540Please respect copyright.PENANAka5mme6D8Y
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「喂!你哋兩父子跑完未啊!夠鐘返屋企食飯啦!」媽媽在看台上不耐煩地大叫道。540Please respect copyright.PENANAAmNArVuzNU
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「知啦!」我和爸爸不約而同地應道,不禁相視而笑。540Please respect copyright.PENANAhrc99514YX
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從很小的時候開始,他就是我打從心底裡最崇拜的人,因為他不像媽媽一樣惡,永遠都會臉帶笑容地教我一些我未學過的東西,幫我解決所有問題,甚至掙錢給我買來人生第一部彩色 gameboy。這一切都只是為了逗我開心。540Please respect copyright.PENANALPuzhsO0lh
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只是當時的我還不知道,再強的英雄也有缺憾。540Please respect copyright.PENANAlu6zyNmXcM
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那晚我因尿意而驟醒,一邊擦著眼睛,一邊走去廁所。哪知廁所的門被人從裡面鎖上了。540Please respect copyright.PENANAya28KV0ZP3
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「知啦⋯⋯我陣間就落嚟⋯⋯我執好哂行李啦。嗯嗯,陣間見啦,乖。」裡面傳來爸爸的聲音。540Please respect copyright.PENANAAFrBaMAb1w
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那時我真的尿急得快忍不住了,便急忙敲門叫他:「爸爸我好急尿啊!你快啲喇!」540Please respect copyright.PENANAuNQTgJxHyX
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他一打開門,臉上盡是驚訝的神色,然後馬上掩著我的嘴,小聲道:「唔好咁大聲啊,陣間嘈醒媽咪啊。」540Please respect copyright.PENANAneqHUKXRuG
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「哦。」我焦急得馬上推開爸爸,終於趕得上在膀胱爆裂之前暢快一番。540Please respect copyright.PENANARVGMzi4JLI
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當我走出來的時候,剛好就見到爸爸拖著行李喼出門。540Please respect copyright.PENANAP6J83s8dpX
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「爸爸你去邊啊?去旅行?」540Please respect copyright.PENANAWnS423IeQv
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「係啊,你快啲去瞓喇。」540Please respect copyright.PENANASgh25DoII6
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「我要送你機!」540Please respect copyright.PENANAf8roIWrRea
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「嗯⋯⋯機場好遠㗎喎⋯⋯」540Please respect copyright.PENANAp44IWgiv5W
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「我唔理!」540Please respect copyright.PENANAJfM9oClFWu
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「咁⋯⋯好喇。」540Please respect copyright.PENANACPxKuyKU2s
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爸爸拖著我的手來到樓下,他跪了下來跟我說:「嗱,你而家合埋眼數十聲,十聲之後呢,我哋就會到咗機場㗎啦!」540Please respect copyright.PENANAbgjFvtiPvp
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「好!」540Please respect copyright.PENANAjDzFtu6DgF
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於是我雙手掩眼,開始數十聲:540Please respect copyright.PENANApFZPy7GUzj
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「十、九、八⋯⋯」540Please respect copyright.PENANAsrU8MGFjQ6
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只可惜我不是個乖孩子,數到三的時候,我就張開眼偷看了。540Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5FzXvjYa4
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那時的我心想,爸爸真的跑得超快,快得我連他的背影都見不到。540Please respect copyright.PENANAtI1tH1rkJQ
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我把心一橫,用力推門了大門。540Please respect copyright.PENANAMnQT8ni10R
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以白色為主調的房間裝修美觀,擺設整齊,直射進來的陽光猛烈得我睜不開眼。540Please respect copyright.PENANAKPs2QpRjb6
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「傲風?」540Please respect copyright.PENANA8zsyeCljeX
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我的眼睛很快就適應了房間的光度,只見媽媽坐在一張沙發椅上,訝然看著我。540Please respect copyright.PENANACtShhP6qFL
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她霍然轉頭,跟坐在對面的人說:「你又話唔會同佢講嘅?點解佢會喺度㗎?」540Please respect copyright.PENANAM3GmLaNdFK
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我沿著她的目光看過去,那個男人一頭金髮,右前臂有一個龍的紋身。540Please respect copyright.PENANAOxFQficiPL
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「嘩!你咪係上次上我屋企個MK 仔?」我衝口而出大喊道,後面的變態佬聽後忍不住掩嘴竊笑。540Please respect copyright.PENANA89fxp5VA7n
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MK 仔苦笑了一聲,隨即遞上了一張卡片,恭敬道:「失敬失敬,其實我冇做MK 仔好耐啦,我而家係呢度嘅註冊社工,我叫吳砥邦,英文名叫James,隨便叫我沾屎邦得啦。我係負責跟進你屋企嘅情況㗎。」540Please respect copyright.PENANAnW0t2UmSIS
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MK 就MK 啦,仲咁多嘢講⋯⋯但認真睇下張卡片,原來佢真係呢度社工嚟。540Please respect copyright.PENANAciecfTdIGU
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「我⋯⋯我屋企嘅情況?」我不解地看著MK 社工。540Please respect copyright.PENANATTz3oZp9K8
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「唔好講咁多多餘嘢!」媽媽急忙道。540Please respect copyright.PENANAi7KkFXDseA
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「王女士,其實我覺得都係時候要同令郎講真話。」MK社工的措詞及其外形,簡直就如火星撞地球一樣不搭。540Please respect copyright.PENANANNgmrPMSGv
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媽媽別過臉去,默不作聲。540Please respect copyright.PENANAigLZz9LSHM
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他續說:「相信你都知父母已經離婚嘅事實,但係你知唔知道你而家食嘢、買嘢、搭車用緊嘅錢係邊度嚟?」540Please respect copyright.PENANAyTi31uxd6j
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「咪、咪爸爸送啲錢過嚟同阿媽返工賺㗎囉!」540Please respect copyright.PENANAKcJRLzROAH
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「你會咁諗都好正常嘅⋯⋯但事實係,你爸爸自從搬咗去美國之後再冇再俾錢你媽媽,而且⋯⋯」540Please respect copyright.PENANAJwbE06c4iX
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他頓了一頓,似是有難言之隱。540Please respect copyright.PENANA4dIeuec6T6
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「而且你媽媽佢⋯⋯喺離婚之後搵過我哋,之後醫生證實咗佢有燥鬱症。」540Please respect copyright.PENANAUHyCbwdAwe
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「燥鬱症?」540Please respect copyright.PENANANGpVUrHwAx
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「冇錯,王女士佢同我講過佢對你做過一啲好過份嘅嘢⋯⋯但我都希望你明白,你媽媽只不過係受病情影響,所以先控制唔到自己嘅情緒。其實佢鬧完你之後自己都好內疚,佢每日都鎖埋房門,係因為唔想你知佢晚晚都喺入面喊⋯⋯」540Please respect copyright.PENANAlK8n43yF4R
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我斜眼看著媽媽,她的肩膊在微微顫抖。540Please respect copyright.PENANAsZ5fwUfAvN
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「而因為呢個病嘅關係,你媽媽早喺幾年前已經俾公司解僱,而家只係靠著政府資助同日夜兩更保安員維生。」540Please respect copyright.PENANAe69T5BVRjA
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我對著媽媽,說:「所以⋯⋯你晚晚先會咁夜返到屋企?」我不敢相信,我一直討厭的媽媽,原來在背後付出了那麼多。540Please respect copyright.PENANAIVdOqS7ah5
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MK 社工續說:「聽講你最近拍拖啊可,其實你媽媽之所以咁反對,係因為佢唔想你好似你爸爸咁,做一個不負責任嘅男人,佢怕你仲未有能力承擔得起愛情嘅重量。希望你唔好怪佢。」540Please respect copyright.PENANAfbOc2tfWWI
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我走近了沙發椅,輕輕握著媽媽的手,柔聲問:「我想你親口同我講,佢講嘅嘢係咪真?」540Please respect copyright.PENANATvHNbFswFR
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她側過頭來,陽光把她的輪廓照得發亮。540Please respect copyright.PENANAuR56STVApY
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「對唔住⋯⋯我以為自己係對你好,點知原來我係傷害咗你⋯⋯」她含著淚眼道。540Please respect copyright.PENANARTyssgSeR1
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我從沒見過她的話說得如此真誠的。540Please respect copyright.PENANAaDMqFMo1CZ
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真誠的話,蒼老的臉,寂寞的空氣,一一勾著我的心弦。540Please respect copyright.PENANAVyQHqeb1eI
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這年來我只顧著自己的愛情,卻忽略了一直為我付出的她;我一直嫌她不夠了解我,但原來我更不了解她。540Please respect copyright.PENANAwIOLxrqqQ4
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當我自以為目標清晰時,我是不是在狂奔的過程中遺忘了一些重要的東西呢?540Please respect copyright.PENANAi5Dbl8Jxqm
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原來我的心,不會只為阿玲一個而酸,原來還有一個女人,值得讓我永遠掛心。540Please respect copyright.PENANASaTFiGbBQL
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過去不懂得「男人不應讓女人流淚」,此刻終於知道,只盼為時未晚。540Please respect copyright.PENANAlBGPC2ah4z
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但此刻千言萬語都只能薈萃成一句話:540Please respect copyright.PENANA1TyLSI4hB4
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「對唔住⋯⋯我愛你啊,媽咪。」540Please respect copyright.PENANAJlsKtUauLy