神與畜 - 夢魘症11

一切都要從升高中的暑假說起。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQckgFFmMDD
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGxzDLpnGY
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPjnR08ibp
「笙，這禮拜六有空嗎？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASUS6THnUA
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26ZL8UOtRU
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyfTgNJZGy
爸爸說，禮拜六要跟他的再婚對象吃飯，在台北。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTtgLlPNto
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSANHNGCEm4
「要穿很正式嗎？」我問。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmUUf1g6Kq
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRHUqLj7uY
「普通襯衫就好。不是多高級的餐廳，太正式反而讓對方不自在。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPkUlpQW1a
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLY8PZ0m1oy
爸爸對我當時的反應應該很欣慰。對於他再婚，我沒有意見，對新媽媽的要求也不高，別像之前那個一樣、愛上別的男人就行。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDjUnKlDnh
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXs66cxw3Wc
之後要和新媽媽一起住，趁現在熟悉一點比較好，我抱著這樣的想法赴約，穿了件普通的藍色襯衫，但一到現場我就後悔，因為爸爸沒有跟我說，現場還有妳。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteOfjEGhLw
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC73sskPi7z
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3R98uZLUq
「她叫白絃。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGonyNEM2hN
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFFf0Fk0F8
「我的女兒，也是你未來的姊姊喲。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEjvN3rk0O
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQVWm5yDLe
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPLZqCYFIq
如果爸爸事先告訴我，我就不會挑最討厭的藍色，而是我喜歡的粉紅色襯衫。因為爸爸對顏色的刻板印象，我一直不敢穿它，我就是這麼膽小的人；如果那時我鼓起勇氣，或許就能和妳開啟「喜歡粉紅色」的共同話題，而不是互用尷尬卻不失禮貌的微笑看著對方，應付這場聚會。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OI6h99YAq
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IFnMMZTJC
妳大我七歲，已經出社會工作，是成熟的大人，言行舉止均符合社會標準，但我知道妳在忍耐，因為我從妳身上嗅到跟我一樣的味道，我們臉上都戴著虛偽的笑臉面具。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTL7KjrKfV
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtH9E8n6Gs
不過，妳應付社交場合的經驗比我多，和爸爸的互動十分自然；相較之下，我像有社交障礙的高中生，常常不知道怎麼接話，但新媽媽把我的沉默歸為乖巧，莫名對我讚譽有加。我們的餐局在怪異的和諧中結束，兩個月後，我們搬去妳們的房子，由法律維繫的重組家庭就這麼拉開序幕。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIKwVKWn53
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtsclOoWXn
爸爸再婚的決定是對的，不只減輕他養育我的壓力，有媽媽的感覺也很不錯，至少每天放學都有三菜一湯的晚餐，而不是一邊吃爸爸買回來的便當，一邊滑手機、看「媽媽」跟陌生叔叔吃飯的打卡照片。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyPi8Q5HD6
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGrpXu605Y
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquSRR27apd
「我來幫忙吧。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhkJSB2o01
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxDDUcowZ2
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm98Tg1uzQZ
回家時，媽媽都還在廚房，我通常會去幫忙，比如擺餐具。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtkpd4KBK0
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHN5wpFeUX
「笙，拿三副碗筷就好囉。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoLWfS9ro1
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEriNBt0kh9
爸爸七點前一定到家，少掉的那副碗筷不是他。我問媽媽：「姊姊不回來吃嗎？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPU4H4dOkfO
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsl3wlae4Ck
「她工作很忙，常常加班到很晚。」媽媽說。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSU7ax9gPP
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQ6OTnIAm9
「姊姊做什麼工作？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZPW5h1Jnh
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGmv7sk5i8
「一間藥廠的助理，詳細我沒問。」媽媽說：「你姊姊大學讀政治，畢業後失業了半年，我原本想逼她考公務員或研究所，幸好她最後找到了這個工作。雖然常加班，但看在薪水高、給家裡生活費很多的份上，我就懶得說她，畢竟每次跟你姊姊講話，我都會被氣得半死。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QqmeALq4q
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzM9ysCXrxk
媽媽對妳有很多不滿，我知道，因為她的控制慾很強。哪怕妳已經出社會，媽媽還是會管妳的穿著、交友圈、職涯規劃；但妳從不把她的話當回事，導致媽媽對妳很失望，妳們總是在爭吵。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIEwhr8rAa
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VNCQVYBGO
坦白說，我當時對妳沒太多想法，畢竟我們根本沒說過話。妳都在我起床前出門、睡著後回家，見了面也不知道能聊什麼。這種尷尬的關係維持了三年，一直到高中三年級，我才變成大家所知道的羅笙──那個喜歡妳、喜歡到滲入骨髓的羅笙。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfu1QzWhflr
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYM8APFg6lZ
先解釋當時的背景吧。我當時的狀況非常差，爸媽不同意我考藝術學院、勸我放棄芭蕾，在學校又因為外表被同學霸凌、被老師性騷擾。那段時間於我而言就像地獄，曾求助卻被反說是自己的問題，光熬過每天的二十四小時都讓我想死，失眠、焦慮、精神不濟等症狀一一出現，身心靈都感到疲憊不堪，覺得自己再也撐不下去。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡca9Ry5xZZP
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qxuCcOM8y
某個爸媽都去上班的早晨、我應該要去學校的時間，我人卻還坐在餐桌，吃著硬掉的早餐。明明知道會遲到，身體卻怎樣都動不起來，連開始新的一天的勇氣都沒有。正當我思考曠課會有什麼下場時，一個腳步聲從樓梯走下來、嚇了我一跳，我以為家裡只有自己。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ULWVaYOpi
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiPMF452NR
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4V6czE0ZFC
「你不用上學嗎？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTQ2sOwt7D
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVw5PPWygM
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWK3Z2OpfsP
是妳，妳竟然在家裡。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFWxHGRBCk
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxu0FDMjtwn
「妳不用上班嗎？」我錯愕問。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTt6Ep78wS
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSEyeyE1Gm
「實驗沒進展，老闆乾脆放我假。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Nd26ZwKfQ
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4f1JU8yPl4
妳從我旁邊走過、打開冰箱。我以為妳指的是治療疾病的藥物實驗，現在回想，妳那時協助的實驗，應該是水果塔的研發。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIB4gibJzP
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdf3erIcWN
「你不去學校嗎？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLXh0zH0rj
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRH90CahbTd
妳突然問，口氣不是關心，像在亂開話題。但當時的我瀕臨崩潰，竟下意識說了句：「我只想去死。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERWIW2D0za
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡht9BP0KOWL
「……？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITLaoDrznv
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sxTjHtgL1
妳把目光從冰箱移到我身上，我這才意識到自己說了什麼。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxe8WcdbBy
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvBlTQ7UbO
「呃，我的意思是……！」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaY0RnH7CmU
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQt0r28OOo
「想死的話，我不會阻止你喲。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LU7GUBBuu
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTs2ICZEwST
妳關上冰箱的門，盯著我吃到一半的麵包。比起我的性命，妳似乎比較在意早餐要吃什麼，這讓我很受傷。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJhwYErbxe
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGAi60jU1k
「唉，別用那種表情看我，我不是在叫你去死。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6stQF95Kew
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jS1gl6JIM
看我僵在原地，妳一臉「這小孩真麻煩」的口氣說：「要生要死，你自己決定，怎麼運用生命是你的自由，我不會干涉。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWrl0Y5jOf
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipXbcdLEJL
「可是……」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYK6T6yZh45
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKb8rSBPBR8
「但有個前提：你已經為自己活過一次。如果你的人生跟屍體沒兩樣，死不死根本沒差。從沒活過的人，沒有資格談死。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlduvQxe3sh
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtyLsof6iF
我什麼話也說不出，當時的衝擊很難形容。我的生活只有家和學校，但同一棟房子裡，卻有個人──妳──在用全然不同的思考方式在生活。我封閉的世界彷彿被敲開一個洞，新的顏色灌進來，是妳的顏色。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYU56mjnfG
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0ifpIqZzG
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRWUpPYIg6
為什麼妳說得出這種話？748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRuL9Xm1QN
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUNcLH8hRz
為什麼妳的價值觀和大家這麼不同？748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvh6zFcqb8H
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvj7T9rHJ6
妳都在想什麼？都經歷了什麼？748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaa5hqxMZu
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHg1QsqgPiy
面具脫下後，這才是妳的真面目。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfLC9uIbvq
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNA13rShPCE
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zmmUfpIAl
「姊姊。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVG8H7LsobZ
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbt49r0c43
我突然問妳：「妳平常是真的加班，還是不想回家？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgACBcnJ6I
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBViiTRuxrc
妳沒有回話，只給我一抹迷人的微笑。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYA7ybWQsSr
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFBTNkyBYV
「好羨慕。」我說：「很多人都說不想長大，但我想趕快變成大人。小孩子沒有獨立生活的能力，大多時候只能任人宰割，我討厭這樣，所以我很羨慕妳。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17gGrkVlIf
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8jp774eDI
妳雖然在笑，卻解讀不出喜怒哀樂，也看不出是否認同我的話。妳應該改名叫「白懸」，因為妳就像一部懸疑小說，令人摸不著頭緒。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAl8C5DgvD
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbq1g5EXbs
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UhjOgYGmj
「笙。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzueHG44pk
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWVzBwS22S
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXV3UhLdp2n
三年來，妳第一次叫我的名字。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdFUvJRfyN
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3gM8yECqj
「我幫你請假，一起去吃早餐吧。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSB7dmzHpO
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4M5xyh5f9
於是，我們一起出門，那是我人生第一次翹課，感覺出乎預料平淡，是妳讓我心跳加速。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgj3IWH6elu
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxYMZCk7MF
那天我們一直在一起，吃完早餐去逛街，逛完街去看展，看完展去夜市，一路上沒太多話，畢竟（當時的）我們話都不多，但那氣氛非常舒服，我至今都記得我們早餐吃了什麼、展場入口的收票員、射飛鏢贏來的獎品，尤其便利商店的布丁雪糕，那是我此生唯一從妳手裡接過的禮物。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmenXgIPVbK
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnWU68tQod
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUs2WRYRxRF
「我一點都不值得羨慕喔。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshRPk2I5d8
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZcaYJVZkr
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EDKcWXIDQ
一直到晚上七點，我們從夜市走去車站的路上，妳才回覆我早上的話。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxTFiV4h6y
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMwnTtSW6Q
「確實，我擅長與人保持距離，因為我對自由的嚮往超越了任何一份情感。我甚至想追求更多自由，擺脫倫理道德、打破社會框架，當一個徹頭徹尾的瘋子。」妳苦笑，「但我們這類人啊，忠於自由、安於歸宿。嚮往自由並非厭惡束縛，而是對束縛自己的人不滿；一旦出現值得效忠、值得愛的人，被當成寵物也無所謂。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0xp3ZFdlk
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYteuFRvcy
我當時沒發現妳這段話有多恐怖。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LPk8b1e4t
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qq7bmDN5o
「我的人生，就是不停地尋找能給我套上項圈的人。假使那個人真的出現，我會變得多瘋狂呢？那份執念又將把我帶去哪呢？我會為了那個人做到什麼地步呢？我整天都在想這些，一點也不高尚，所以我不值得羨慕。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrumiNTjRvi
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4KI4uETtC
妳說這些，並不是想得到我的回應，單純為說而說，因為妳很自私，妳的腦中只有自己，連正在聽自己說話的我也不願意顧慮。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdycaerYqie
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSl8RfLpfH
所以妳永遠不會知道──因為無聊而打的請假電話，拯救了身心靈差點崩潰的我；隨便挑的一間展覽，開啟了我對武士刀的熱愛；衝著第二支半價買的布丁雪糕，從此成了回憶，我一百年後也無法忘記。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHF6TbhCf3
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHfulGlIeJ
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSP7KwyPQb
「抱歉，現在說這些，你也聽不懂吧？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfaB0H2oyW
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL15vV2e3Bu
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgR0a49UJY
確實，我不敢說全部聽懂。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFrY5zaRWI
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjw1RP393h7
但我知道妳很寂寞。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYUktFq11K
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI19pQTQvgT
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOZIky5Sn7
「竟然跟一個高中生說這些，我也是瘋了。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqopTQBiio3
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSZUHkmYD5
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡII5M0VlnEp
寂寞的妳，兩年後得到能操控距離的水果塔。一夕之間，爸爸媽媽變得不認識妳，親戚朋友叫不出妳的名，高中同學翻開畢業紀念冊，全然想不起妳的事。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaG9aYBtOP
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVIQOTXg8w
而妳彷彿重獲新生。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMofKH6DwPN
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41AgXEZuGb
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPT2oy4lgV
「……！？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaEvi48e1X
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQtTc7RSjd
里奧給我看妳的相片，已經是我大學二年級的事了。我記憶中的妳成熟穩重，但相片中，妳只穿一件寬擺帽T，頭髮全部變成粉紅色，看起來比我小。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jLrFZ7V2S
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7KZnrUCFv
「她是你姊姊？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1S6vpaYWe
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONEl5Vfhie
里奧大我兩屆，是商學院的資優生，講話還不是現在這副死德性。特地來藝術學院找我，是為他的摯友瘋帽而來，目的是打聽妳的事。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZSlbJbNz8
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQQcMzAU8h
「五官確實是她……」我盯著相片，「但是，氣質和我記憶中不一樣。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nTICsfwac
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsV3td5rtKM
「你們很久沒見了？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0usSZWp6o
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnPDklna0u
「嗯，她本來就很少回家，我現在又是外宿。上次見面是兩年前，我高三的時候。」我問：「她發生什麼事了？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv72IzvWwgi
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoRPow5suM
「情況很複雜。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXykXVM2UY
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDW9NKqfTzS
里奧用他琉璃色的眼睛凝視我。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMyewb3fQ8
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfbSqpkmvo
「你姊姊現在，是某人身邊最麻煩的鬣狗。我們換個地方談。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0GzkU9RcF
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiAGNSqfVM
妳想擺脫過往的一切、拉開與所有人的距離，卻沒想過我會主動靠近，所以我很感謝里奧，因為他帶我進入妳的世界──一個荒誕的仙境，成為你們荒誕的一部分。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytgXztZsN4
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJvpQaovUG
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7pFHrVN0S
「初次見面，我叫紅鶴。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRRW6zyl21
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijD3aF7V2s
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcl4kDjohVw
追隨妳的腳步，我也重獲新生。和妳一樣的髮色，和妳同個色系的衣著。我用全新的姿態來到妳面前，妳卻看都不看我一眼。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWBvF1xWUW
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQkhpFsB7e
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEDCBxkibl
「幸會，我是艾莉絲，可以叫我夏悠。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUL4U97Y90
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvDCcPowsQ
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiugSooPu7
給妳套上項圈的人，除了身體塞滿棉花，我找不出任何特色。她是連表情都沒有的人偶、用來滿足自己母親思念的替代品，我不懂妳為什麼選擇她。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcP8xRTyHg
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBZ2bCOa23
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IBkInY2h4
「我最喜歡小悠了！」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy56U0qnzeM
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8HqGnptme
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciMr3ymCrj
明明比較早認識妳的人，是我。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhqLrgWKLX
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2M6kq79bZ
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKkrLU79Qv
「我聽妳的！小悠說什麼我都聽！」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzvoODCsCN
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgr4CKXoVR
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNBoG7kMGI
被妳拯救過、最了解妳孤獨的人，是我。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtXoKFp9I7
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pWqds76XM
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1McqJpGTW
「我只要有小悠就夠了！」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoh33bytpN
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8nYqnBZUt
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuft3UnRX8C
最有資格把妳綁在身邊的人，應該也是我。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ssesDcfsr
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFugq3fy42h
我不知道這份執念從何而來，畢竟我和妳沒有太多相處，但我就是好不甘心。我以為我們戴著一樣的面具，後來發現，我們其實活在不同的宇宙；妳的宇宙只有妳，妳孤單一人漂浮在深沉的黑暗，我是唯一前往過那片黑暗的人。我厭煩戴面具的世界，嚮往妳追逐的自由。我想擁抱妳、陪伴妳，我願意和妳一起死在那片黑暗，我願意以弟弟的身分給妳想要的歸宿。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0wMWnrxE1
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzaa24N5DO
但那個人──那個被權力腐化的人，非但沒拯救妳，還對妳施加內而外的破壞。她破壞妳的人格、妳的美，妳所有令我著迷的一切。妳是尊貴的獅鷲，卻被連人都稱不上的怪物糟蹋，我怎麼可能嚥得下這口氣？748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3029Y5GcJU
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBY2qhe89u
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpIJCv13r8
「我愛她。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZM76v9uYz3
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xeZLl67mL
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYglg7RpvI
我的偏執讓我變得越加恐怖，我開始殺人──最初我們一起看的展覽、那些武士刀，我揮起來竟毫不費力，習慣「剝奪他人生命」所需要的時間，也短暫得令人難以置信。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24rVxjk3kX
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxbeVYCYBr
「我多麼希望自己能擁有她。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5vDe3ZcL7
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hbHXWkGty
我創造了新的宇宙，那個宇宙充滿妳，但血紅色的鶴會汙染妳，我不能讓妳蒙受更多汙穢，所以向他託付了妳。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl01py0W95u
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0HmQfTkCj
「拜託你了，金允燦。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi62zzvuHHR
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5BjrCGpAk
我親愛的姊夫，一個不屬於仙境，卻影響仙境至深的男人。他是艾莉絲與黨對接的窗口，也是唯一沒有水果塔，卻知道我們所有事情的人。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13xwMt4a9I
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGu536FmPV
「可是她……」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTW7LIS9sgp
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbjVitW78e
「我會幫你找到姊姊。」我說：「能救她的人，真的只剩你了。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYvhnepgzF
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmF989SC2as
妳說金允燦是玩具，我一眼就看穿妳的謊言，他在妳心裡的份量與艾莉絲相當。艾莉絲是王、是帝、是絕對的權，她給了妳項圈；金允燦是普通上班族，除了高個子和中分外沒有特色，能給妳的只有沒有特色的生活，但那恰好是妳需要的。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymrZrLq5Do
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKws05t2UTT
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQdhoKKGPy
“In me the cave-man clasps the seer,”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsCqvO5Wze
──於我，穴居者攫取了先知。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36sGfHPbT5
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsbEQwG9kz
“And garlanded Apollo goes”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡny309ncvXv
──佩帶花環的阿波羅，748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBblJU57ZpS
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfY6Ww8tpn
“Chanting to Abraham’s deaf ear.”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbDc7myYOH
──向亞伯拉罕的聾耳吟唱。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpqNRLbRyW
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSzw9NBl2e
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVFSj1eMgq
姊姊，我親愛的姊姊，妳的人生根本不需要項圈。妳在我眼裡如此耀眼，這樣的妳足以驕傲、足以抬頭。妳必須扯開項圈，妳才是凌駕在艾莉絲之上、那宛若神明的存在。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBoBZb4JRD
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpWp888Gsw
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEWEWgdm3Y
“In me the tiger sniffs the rose.”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQfRiND8FP
──我心有猛虎，細嗅薔薇。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5GHtfKr1i
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFXBCJaMUH
“Look in my heart, kind friends, and tremble,”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvKyzLccTQ
──審視我的心靈吧，朋友，你應戰慄。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWJzD184pT
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGpt0DZmH4
“Since there your elements assemble.”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHPaILeIFI
──因為那才是你本來的面目。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLO1MtFKtz
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cbEXmvwVZ
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKpb3ypK0V
重拾勇氣的妳，殺死了他們一半的人；剩下的苟延殘喘，變成今天的高宇維、神與畜。重創艾莉絲體系後，妳和金允燦創立Platinum，妳終於有了自己的家。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPZD0WXX76
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNEKcI5n1x
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8liZePOdmM
「你做好覺悟了嗎？」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HcfOPcB5A
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtA4OHq1Pz
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaM95SyeA5P
一生都在不幸的妳，和姊夫幸福快樂了一百年，我也不知不覺監視里奧他們如此之久，久到第二代、第三代出現，導致我的名單越來越長，必須殺死的人越來越多。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyZ96faiSg
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlry5B8mGw
「注射後，蜘蛛糖會埋沒你的理智，你將只剩『快樂』一種情緒。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5ZFaQzLk9
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zoCh0XwlI
閉館的體育場，笑臉還是那頭墨綠色的頭髮。她平淡告訴我：「除非你的理智戰勝它、搶回主導權。你將和蜘蛛糖合而為一，得到難以想像的力量。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8286hq5gE
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfNpasjYuw
「無所謂，這樣就夠了。」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqewMek8Z3d
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD97Gjox1sX
一百年後的二十二世紀，姊夫已經離開，妳平靜快樂的日子畫下句點。妳的目光再次注視艾莉絲體系，暗中阻止悲劇再次發生，因為妳就是這麼溫柔，和當年幫我請假的妳一樣，妳從來沒有變──748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpY07Nfq5oV
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7BtBFKtMj
可是這樣不行啊，我親愛的姊姊。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CzEkv9iKm
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNeFm2uIR6
只要水果塔還在，妳就無法置身事外，這樣的妳是沒辦法幸福的。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zkSxn2tQr
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyLmNVaBQb
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgX0f1yoSg7
「嘻嘻嘻……嘻嘻哈哈哈哈！」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8jjUP3OvS
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKH1bZCmF5h
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJwdlu7Xlj
所以，一切都交給我吧。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf45lN0sR36
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AacXtyrBx
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX51watn3Hh
「姊姊……姊姊……哈哈！我會把他們全部殺光，感謝我吧！姊姊！」748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡon42Yl968P
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcfwUerdqN
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQ3Pg1de96
我和我體內的蜘蛛，是為了妳的幸福而生的。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxa232aKygo
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4H4vqNtT6J
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnydGFNAtKm
一百年前，妳幫鶴找到活下去的希望。748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgxUrDf825
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDLR6F7X69
如今，是鶴報恩的時候了。