神與畜 - 夢魘症11

一切都要從升高中的暑假說起。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb473OwYcjY
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「笙，這禮拜六有空嗎？」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDJvtn2hz2
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrCpKuNbmG
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爸爸說，禮拜六要跟他的再婚對象吃飯，在台北。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK78PKs6OED
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「要穿很正式嗎？」我問。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIGMm30o4V
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEujUd76EHA
「普通襯衫就好。不是多高級的餐廳，太正式反而讓對方不自在。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeH694W1Lzt
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BNZxUSdeO
爸爸對我當時的反應應該很欣慰。對於他再婚，我沒有意見，對新媽媽的要求也不高，別像之前那個一樣、愛上別的男人就行。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpcJ3UKVq5
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9pPU8KHlc
之後要和新媽媽一起住，趁現在熟悉一點比較好，我抱著這樣的想法赴約，穿了件普通的藍色襯衫，但一到現場我就後悔，因為爸爸沒有跟我說，現場還有妳。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcdQX4fykc
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2kHhHawvg
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqMmZYZzaN
「她叫白絃。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHaE5yNsxV
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFPW9dVyk6
「我的女兒，也是你未來的姊姊喲。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSp4RyIvluk
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AEtTw7T5k
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt20bHvHWfT
如果爸爸事先告訴我，我就不會挑最討厭的藍色，而是我喜歡的粉紅色襯衫。因為爸爸對顏色的刻板印象，我一直不敢穿它，我就是這麼膽小的人；如果那時我鼓起勇氣，或許就能和妳開啟「喜歡粉紅色」的共同話題，而不是互用尷尬卻不失禮貌的微笑看著對方，應付這場聚會。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGbWFgptXp
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRLEgqPBOu
妳大我七歲，已經出社會工作，是成熟的大人，言行舉止均符合社會標準，但我知道妳在忍耐，因為我從妳身上嗅到跟我一樣的味道，我們臉上都戴著虛偽的笑臉面具。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0cc3PIYgP
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXULtJqwCzG
不過，妳應付社交場合的經驗比我多，和爸爸的互動十分自然；相較之下，我像有社交障礙的高中生，常常不知道怎麼接話，但新媽媽把我的沉默歸為乖巧，莫名對我讚譽有加。我們的餐局在怪異的和諧中結束，兩個月後，我們搬去妳們的房子，由法律維繫的重組家庭就這麼拉開序幕。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe78vLeOv2T
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcotE3EmWfE
爸爸再婚的決定是對的，不只減輕他養育我的壓力，有媽媽的感覺也很不錯，至少每天放學都有三菜一湯的晚餐，而不是一邊吃爸爸買回來的便當，一邊滑手機、看「媽媽」跟陌生叔叔吃飯的打卡照片。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVvFkQ1vPR
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpIl9mpI2b
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7LHn954Dz
「我來幫忙吧。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2cbKf60O1
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2L21gg9If
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyzxNGg6ND
回家時，媽媽都還在廚房，我通常會去幫忙，比如擺餐具。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJX4QHAbxuB
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHS5HBTib3o
「笙，拿三副碗筷就好囉。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhE6UZSlL6
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2bZIYpAMe
爸爸七點前一定到家，少掉的那副碗筷不是他。我問媽媽：「姊姊不回來吃嗎？」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDlBci3Qv0
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJv2CfOoNAJ
「她工作很忙，常常加班到很晚。」媽媽說。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcookWTDT6
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcMB9FvqMG
「姊姊做什麼工作？」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkolUKkmAwg
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvd8gNAGsw
「一間藥廠的助理，詳細我沒問。」媽媽說：「你姊姊大學讀政治，畢業後失業了半年，我原本想逼她考公務員或研究所，幸好她最後找到了這個工作。雖然常加班，但看在薪水高、給家裡生活費很多的份上，我就懶得說她，畢竟每次跟你姊姊講話，我都會被氣得半死。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7nNqOUO5S
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5i42zrvU1e
媽媽對妳有很多不滿，我知道，因為她的控制慾很強。哪怕妳已經出社會，媽媽還是會管妳的穿著、交友圈、職涯規劃；但妳從不把她的話當回事，導致媽媽對妳很失望，妳們總是在爭吵。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWeifcy4oW
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyuNNZ98O6
坦白說，我當時對妳沒太多想法，畢竟我們根本沒說過話。妳都在我起床前出門、睡著後回家，見了面也不知道能聊什麼。這種尷尬的關係維持了三年，一直到高中三年級，我才變成大家所知道的羅笙──那個喜歡妳、喜歡到滲入骨髓的羅笙。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBoc6JgbmKY
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrHyF1IUrv
先解釋當時的背景吧。我當時的狀況非常差，爸媽不同意我考藝術學院、勸我放棄芭蕾，在學校又因為外表被同學霸凌、被老師性騷擾。那段時間於我而言就像地獄，曾求助卻被反說是自己的問題，光熬過每天的二十四小時都讓我想死，失眠、焦慮、精神不濟等症狀一一出現，身心靈都感到疲憊不堪，覺得自己再也撐不下去。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzFL4HYAj4
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPdBC9evQd
某個爸媽都去上班的早晨、我應該要去學校的時間，我人卻還坐在餐桌，吃著硬掉的早餐。明明知道會遲到，身體卻怎樣都動不起來，連開始新的一天的勇氣都沒有。正當我思考曠課會有什麼下場時，一個腳步聲從樓梯走下來、嚇了我一跳，我以為家裡只有自己。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebY8ZRTG9K
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5N8j2L2Nj
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTYIsrX7fj
「你不用上學嗎？」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpTsdPAfUJ
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pZ98BEdNW
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNdbKLgJvt
是妳，妳竟然在家裡。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbBk5Cgfmw
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRO7Us1aSUI
「妳不用上班嗎？」我錯愕問。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDoDgeyhjq
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxXJimPxDk
「實驗沒進展，老闆乾脆放我假。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Z1b7uMUub
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqvrPk2bju
妳從我旁邊走過、打開冰箱。我以為妳指的是治療疾病的藥物實驗，現在回想，妳那時協助的實驗，應該是水果塔的研發。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22DJyjIzGY
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQz0o0h2Pv
「你不去學校嗎？」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgg2xtbIWhb
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GIrDkzh6K
妳突然問，口氣不是關心，像在亂開話題。但當時的我瀕臨崩潰，竟下意識說了句：「我只想去死。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVLSvr9AE1
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「……？」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQNt5YIo8z
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhRf4GS6SQ
妳把目光從冰箱移到我身上，我這才意識到自己說了什麼。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTPyFaVnKk
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YtChhhuIV
「呃，我的意思是……！」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CsasxCogD
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「想死的話，我不會阻止你喲。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0E1lGR04h
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xIuYqZ0hS
妳關上冰箱的門，盯著我吃到一半的麵包。比起我的性命，妳似乎比較在意早餐要吃什麼，這讓我很受傷。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIkIBI8Kpl
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QdU4b6pTL
「唉，別用那種表情看我，我不是在叫你去死。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIg3AiWCWdv
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHgsx3xhbG
看我僵在原地，妳一臉「這小孩真麻煩」的口氣說：「要生要死，你自己決定，怎麼運用生命是你的自由，我不會干涉。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlIGYGix2e
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「可是……」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9glGECe3N
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOM0tNWdVJ
「但有個前提：你已經為自己活過一次。如果你的人生跟屍體沒兩樣，死不死根本沒差。從沒活過的人，沒有資格談死。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8YPm0Fz3l
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFr8ghBqzZ
我什麼話也說不出，當時的衝擊很難形容。我的生活只有家和學校，但同一棟房子裡，卻有個人──妳──在用全然不同的思考方式在生活。我封閉的世界彷彿被敲開一個洞，新的顏色灌進來，是妳的顏色。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjh1PB5Ydhq
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiZ9iMSCLP
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiVRZmiMwX
為什麼妳說得出這種話？683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCKFE31LBd
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oHqnPxxPH
為什麼妳的價值觀和大家這麼不同？683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Vx4u52CsD
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoD45M17URY
妳都在想什麼？都經歷了什麼？683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6pZLCaIO3
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmctm9Ecpo
面具脫下後，這才是妳的真面目。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5VIXea3Yc
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaMvY8J1a5
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「姊姊。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7nXQvBWxa
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRK5bUUmN2n
我突然問妳：「妳平常是真的加班，還是不想回家？」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NULYKC4dE
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzIrset5W0
妳沒有回話，只給我一抹迷人的微笑。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lzBv0QRnJ
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWahzV3bb5
「好羨慕。」我說：「很多人都說不想長大，但我想趕快變成大人。小孩子沒有獨立生活的能力，大多時候只能任人宰割，我討厭這樣，所以我很羨慕妳。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmpcoHBDOr
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMt5ddy6Lg
妳雖然在笑，卻解讀不出喜怒哀樂，也看不出是否認同我的話。妳應該改名叫「白懸」，因為妳就像一部懸疑小說，令人摸不著頭緒。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSvlVF8Uzn
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「笙。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzlTi4c9dF
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三年來，妳第一次叫我的名字。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrF8T9TK6XE
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDYUOtlYMb
「我幫你請假，一起去吃早餐吧。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDg1MXtZyU0
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjU1u6Zu0R
於是，我們一起出門，那是我人生第一次翹課，感覺出乎預料平淡，是妳讓我心跳加速。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0EJ2T1N8D
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPPLG6YMIX
那天我們一直在一起，吃完早餐去逛街，逛完街去看展，看完展去夜市，一路上沒太多話，畢竟（當時的）我們話都不多，但那氣氛非常舒服，我至今都記得我們早餐吃了什麼、展場入口的收票員、射飛鏢贏來的獎品，尤其便利商店的布丁雪糕，那是我此生唯一從妳手裡接過的禮物。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpD6IcIMq3
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDANWRqwkM
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FIKtz7sZf
「我一點都不值得羨慕喔。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxerOtCxpJ
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6TZLSYtwi
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvA0OS0zx9
一直到晚上七點，我們從夜市走去車站的路上，妳才回覆我早上的話。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhVESU00us
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbkzg5wQZm
「確實，我擅長與人保持距離，因為我對自由的嚮往超越了任何一份情感。我甚至想追求更多自由，擺脫倫理道德、打破社會框架，當一個徹頭徹尾的瘋子。」妳苦笑，「但我們這類人啊，忠於自由、安於歸宿。嚮往自由並非厭惡束縛，而是對束縛自己的人不滿；一旦出現值得效忠、值得愛的人，被當成寵物也無所謂。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOXWGC7jqq
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7tFCM5JDE
我當時沒發現妳這段話有多恐怖。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpSG5PQ87y
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMi28ZXKuo4
「我的人生，就是不停地尋找能給我套上項圈的人。假使那個人真的出現，我會變得多瘋狂呢？那份執念又將把我帶去哪呢？我會為了那個人做到什麼地步呢？我整天都在想這些，一點也不高尚，所以我不值得羨慕。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt59uOpCWpD
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvM4n41ECB
妳說這些，並不是想得到我的回應，單純為說而說，因為妳很自私，妳的腦中只有自己，連正在聽自己說話的我也不願意顧慮。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfc10IbBYUs
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRoIPZUa8Z
所以妳永遠不會知道──因為無聊而打的請假電話，拯救了身心靈差點崩潰的我；隨便挑的一間展覽，開啟了我對武士刀的熱愛；衝著第二支半價買的布丁雪糕，從此成了回憶，我一百年後也無法忘記。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2J8QeEIGU
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8czsYr2V9
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRF2E1LR6Lo
「抱歉，現在說這些，你也聽不懂吧？」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuIPoJFEU5
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmSooplGT3
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcJI032WqW
確實，我不敢說全部聽懂。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtOzYHVZSB
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDurUdJTYb
但我知道妳很寂寞。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTpLKyqUxg
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpz6YqsoIq
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Oz56Gx3UJ
「竟然跟一個高中生說這些，我也是瘋了。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb84GehYbYE
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUP1hbkO1T8
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGSrGSXNBv
寂寞的妳，兩年後得到能操控距離的水果塔。一夕之間，爸爸媽媽變得不認識妳，親戚朋友叫不出妳的名，高中同學翻開畢業紀念冊，全然想不起妳的事。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuZt6mjhSX
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblb4D1r6WA
而妳彷彿重獲新生。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOEjAHOqI2
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjGR78F36n
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsezlhrK6AD
「……！？」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7U2s44RRM
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDWjqMlOgX
里奧給我看妳的相片，已經是我大學二年級的事了。我記憶中的妳成熟穩重，但相片中，妳只穿一件寬擺帽T，頭髮全部變成粉紅色，看起來比我小。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVelOEEvmS
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhE6j9Fxfy
「她是你姊姊？」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlVVx9aldX
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQDxuPflYD
里奧大我兩屆，是商學院的資優生，講話還不是現在這副死德性。特地來藝術學院找我，是為他的摯友瘋帽而來，目的是打聽妳的事。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0yTLTRMpV
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0ojAAtKMa
「五官確實是她……」我盯著相片，「但是，氣質和我記憶中不一樣。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxknRNvoJye
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmDL4Gjd7c
「你們很久沒見了？」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdqDKzqXOc
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLikzy0GGdW
「嗯，她本來就很少回家，我現在又是外宿。上次見面是兩年前，我高三的時候。」我問：「她發生什麼事了？」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneO2bVtnFu
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYO2c0iXyq
「情況很複雜。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06XWesgQzB
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhoOJfcFFX
里奧用他琉璃色的眼睛凝視我。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKMiPiuvRO
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡub9X0jqCZC
「你姊姊現在，是某人身邊最麻煩的鬣狗。我們換個地方談。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeIDfFTCXL
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKeYRJe7Z1
妳想擺脫過往的一切、拉開與所有人的距離，卻沒想過我會主動靠近，所以我很感謝里奧，因為他帶我進入妳的世界──一個荒誕的仙境，成為你們荒誕的一部分。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5T9A5W4Ks
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4IhNO6pmB
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHSC3C0otM
「初次見面，我叫紅鶴。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSoRqTIBfG
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBT5bjP3QS
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgWXZ1O8nD
追隨妳的腳步，我也重獲新生。和妳一樣的髮色，和妳同個色系的衣著。我用全新的姿態來到妳面前，妳卻看都不看我一眼。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNCMOHrK30
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ycNEoB2bR
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjbi99DIiT
「幸會，我是艾莉絲，可以叫我夏悠。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdC6fd8Pqt
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoocFDNajs
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGsONwQHQ5
給妳套上項圈的人，除了身體塞滿棉花，我找不出任何特色。她是連表情都沒有的人偶、用來滿足自己母親思念的替代品，我不懂妳為什麼選擇她。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQTLj0Gd3h
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtudQEIYWiX
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYZbVf6ThD
「我最喜歡小悠了！」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3wmPV3u8X
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzkHvAkCIX
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCA05CG0MvK
明明比較早認識妳的人，是我。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllwGCqDkjf
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBBMCSVAqf
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8g71CHsDG
「我聽妳的！小悠說什麼我都聽！」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcd7zyZmqvn
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhLv1SOyfx
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡro6HoR2QFV
被妳拯救過、最了解妳孤獨的人，是我。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPye2JhHt6
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBZ8Icds5f
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPV5zipGJZ
「我只要有小悠就夠了！」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ917TNuKIsr
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWPqfPsRwk
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOU8HPgcvlI
最有資格把妳綁在身邊的人，應該也是我。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN52kAcqCe7
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB84yOoG7tS
我不知道這份執念從何而來，畢竟我和妳沒有太多相處，但我就是好不甘心。我以為我們戴著一樣的面具，後來發現，我們其實活在不同的宇宙；妳的宇宙只有妳，妳孤單一人漂浮在深沉的黑暗，我是唯一前往過那片黑暗的人。我厭煩戴面具的世界，嚮往妳追逐的自由。我想擁抱妳、陪伴妳，我願意和妳一起死在那片黑暗，我願意以弟弟的身分給妳想要的歸宿。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIxwDRFzW9
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyOoiMGqGl
但那個人──那個被權力腐化的人，非但沒拯救妳，還對妳施加內而外的破壞。她破壞妳的人格、妳的美，妳所有令我著迷的一切。妳是尊貴的獅鷲，卻被連人都稱不上的怪物糟蹋，我怎麼可能嚥得下這口氣？683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4Q4DvrbtK
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rfAK3Ngwa
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmTWA8hPrs
「我愛她。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKeGK4W8L4
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkCq7iBfTU
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTpE7bx49p
我的偏執讓我變得越加恐怖，我開始殺人──最初我們一起看的展覽、那些武士刀，我揮起來竟毫不費力，習慣「剝奪他人生命」所需要的時間，也短暫得令人難以置信。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpzD31lRtU
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpREbc9qbjb
「我多麼希望自己能擁有她。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFwlj0jxJ1
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVi575au5p7
我創造了新的宇宙，那個宇宙充滿妳，但血紅色的鶴會汙染妳，我不能讓妳蒙受更多汙穢，所以向他託付了妳。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzUpU5hLPA
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN259m2FbHC
「拜託你了，金允燦。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6L0OltAZ7E
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgKrARLE1S
我親愛的姊夫，一個不屬於仙境，卻影響仙境至深的男人。他是艾莉絲與黨對接的窗口，也是唯一沒有水果塔，卻知道我們所有事情的人。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujdA5lDjz3
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDf5rK10ue0
「可是她……」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZPnwXL4MX
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPASR2oowH
「我會幫你找到姊姊。」我說：「能救她的人，真的只剩你了。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyZfAWsO5r
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhsADvNiSz
妳說金允燦是玩具，我一眼就看穿妳的謊言，他在妳心裡的份量與艾莉絲相當。艾莉絲是王、是帝、是絕對的權，她給了妳項圈；金允燦是普通上班族，除了高個子和中分外沒有特色，能給妳的只有沒有特色的生活，但那恰好是妳需要的。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5FqU4CrDf
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bJlLWzUI0
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Te4UM2g92
“In me the cave-man clasps the seer,”683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugab1RLZYg
──於我，穴居者攫取了先知。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFIcP6HcSO
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILCRnf8dgz
“And garlanded Apollo goes”683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcN2HRQAOB9
──佩帶花環的阿波羅，683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0jxIJwRCO
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6DZt0PIKv
“Chanting to Abraham’s deaf ear.”683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKSDEHb2cd
──向亞伯拉罕的聾耳吟唱。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZU93tF28Xu
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAd9anZJxn
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiCpgflnmP
姊姊，我親愛的姊姊，妳的人生根本不需要項圈。妳在我眼裡如此耀眼，這樣的妳足以驕傲、足以抬頭。妳必須扯開項圈，妳才是凌駕在艾莉絲之上、那宛若神明的存在。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyhZTv2aAt
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGF5z0JW9V
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlsb0Pmrrq
“In me the tiger sniffs the rose.”683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRd7PTv5Gpa
──我心有猛虎，細嗅薔薇。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhxNjbmE3D
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqQBLzkNhs
“Look in my heart, kind friends, and tremble,”683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWx3nCy83pF
──審視我的心靈吧，朋友，你應戰慄。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OvhEvCNS0
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmAcCLhMsE
“Since there your elements assemble.”683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2keFHlMpM
──因為那才是你本來的面目。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1ztLkU3gW
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluWIm3zm6N
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLYzgoCbH8
重拾勇氣的妳，殺死了他們一半的人；剩下的苟延殘喘，變成今天的高宇維、神與畜。重創艾莉絲體系後，妳和金允燦創立Platinum，妳終於有了自己的家。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbb5cHiW9w9
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhWhRYe4V4
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRGLE53pJr
「你做好覺悟了嗎？」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsj5sxAE9Rj
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhPfg625Z0
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaflnbIXOhE
一生都在不幸的妳，和姊夫幸福快樂了一百年，我也不知不覺監視里奧他們如此之久，久到第二代、第三代出現，導致我的名單越來越長，必須殺死的人越來越多。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BXRqOPvIU
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6Uqruf2t1
「注射後，蜘蛛糖會埋沒你的理智，你將只剩『快樂』一種情緒。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGEnU7UNNX
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPN7zVzPLlT
閉館的體育場，笑臉還是那頭墨綠色的頭髮。她平淡告訴我：「除非你的理智戰勝它、搶回主導權。你將和蜘蛛糖合而為一，得到難以想像的力量。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzswZXqnAiz
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDv4pNeLLGw
「無所謂，這樣就夠了。」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeh2ERheV0r
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FnqwJJCrR
一百年後的二十二世紀，姊夫已經離開，妳平靜快樂的日子畫下句點。妳的目光再次注視艾莉絲體系，暗中阻止悲劇再次發生，因為妳就是這麼溫柔，和當年幫我請假的妳一樣，妳從來沒有變──683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEzLAwoFs2
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsk7RBF2Au
可是這樣不行啊，我親愛的姊姊。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU75fyQH0d5
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCCt4xhAua
只要水果塔還在，妳就無法置身事外，這樣的妳是沒辦法幸福的。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnv4cgSU5ea
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOwwdky1hY
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdChLbPUJL2
「嘻嘻嘻……嘻嘻哈哈哈哈！」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiumgGm4AS
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHN8d88pa3C
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnIVQYto5r
所以，一切都交給我吧。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZ9P76qMjw
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKKx47MJDf
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiHVskklGS
「姊姊……姊姊……哈哈！我會把他們全部殺光，感謝我吧！姊姊！」683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡse1Hx4gL4t
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAyNmWwbdi
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDauupomaH
我和我體內的蜘蛛，是為了妳的幸福而生的。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEJNjj7nfV
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvl3XCgQUCo
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uYfmyLLOU
一百年前，妳幫鶴找到活下去的希望。683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RWBClyw7l
683Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOMZj5OUAN
如今，是鶴報恩的時候了。