神與畜 - 重性憂鬱疾患17

「回來了。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8z0ZatYAZP
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「爺爺回來了。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAsRLvIEMk
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「失敗了嗎？」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFEaInaAZf
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「看起來失敗了。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZuZN8wnkqa
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時間倒回幾天前，被NAGI重傷的李仲翔，回到了李晴煬的意識空間。正如NAGI所料，李仲翔早就對李晴煬出手，但出於某些原因，李仲翔無法立刻吞噬他，造就了此時此刻，他快被自己孫子煩死的窘境。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTgdKI9UNP
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「哪，爺爺。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeK1bkVqP8
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「你打不贏我哥嗎？」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4i4BKKRvLr
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「哥明明那麼弱。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjZDPj2zw0
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「爺爺不是很強嗎？」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BtHvheTal
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李晴煬的意識空間很奇怪，是一片一望無際的花田、一分為二，分別是白玫瑰與紅玫瑰，兩種玫瑰園各有一個李晴煬。因為都是小孩子的模樣，他們在胸前別了各自代表的玫瑰，區分彼此。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcG6nFClpx
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「啊，難不成，」紅玫瑰說：「是因為MIO？」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSZ67s30QI
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白玫瑰疑惑，「MIO？」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfv7iO0O1K5
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紅玫瑰解釋：「她和哥交換，問題應該出在這。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlFMK3spY9
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一樣的長相、聲音，兩個李晴煬此起彼落地交談。李仲翔坐在一張木椅上，快被他們吵死。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTtkG3dgtT
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為什麼無法吞噬？很簡單，李仲翔無法主動殺死他們──這是規則，只能讓他們自殺，也是他另外找上李博洋的原因。李晴煬是主目標，但這兩朵玫瑰太棘手，李博洋相較之下容易些，可惜最後被NAGI阻撓。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMozYpYXKBa
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「你們兩個，到底怎麼回事？」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DwOoQkSvk
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不知為何，李仲翔回趟仙境後，竟然換了衣服，變成一套暗紅色的西裝，前面的頭髮也梳了上去，依舊散發不切實際的氣質，不像這個世界的人類。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdOT8oI55y
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「我記得我剛來時，」李仲翔指著白玫瑰，「沒有他。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yn43yFA9m
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「不是『沒有他』，是他在『睡覺』。」紅玫瑰糾正，可愛的笑容問李仲翔：「爺爺好像拿我們沒轍。怎麼樣？要告訴你嗎？關於我們的秘密。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYxWXafzkz
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李仲翔沒有回話。和驚慌失措的李博洋不同，紅白玫瑰仗著李仲翔無法殺他這點，根本不怕他，還敢用挑釁的口氣說話，這讓李仲翔很生氣。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzt5JVZWKOl
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李仲翔問他們：「為什麼有兩個？你是雙重人格？」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DYE4vOJvf
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「不，跟那不一樣。」紅玫瑰說：「我們是李晴煬的兩個面相。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQnKYYlgOe
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「面相？」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeroTlwuky
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紅玫瑰指著白玫瑰，「他，從李晴煬出生就在了。他來自『紅心傑克』，跟爺爺有直接關係，是『缺愛』、是李晴煬渴望被愛的面向。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbO8EPWDAjm
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紅玫瑰再指自己，「我，是因為小叔的愛而誕生。我要將小叔給我的愛獻給他人、讓那個人變幸福，我是『泛愛』、是李晴煬渴望愛人的面向。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26z7bnjLTU
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言下之意，紅玫瑰來自斯德哥爾摩症候群，但李仲翔看向白玫瑰，這小鬼沒比較正常，笑起來跟紅玫瑰一樣邪惡。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fl48LL9TS
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「我們照著時間順序說吧。爺爺，你有讀過我的記憶嗎？」換白玫瑰開口。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUVPvZrPC6
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李仲翔點頭。白玫瑰繼續說：505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpAjqCatDu
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「因為被蜘蛛襲擊，李晴煬失去記憶，忘記小叔對自己做過的事，也就是說──紅玫瑰被遺忘，當時由我負責主導。之後，紅玫瑰回來，李晴煬記憶恢復，並把小叔殺死。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu30MHrmpB7
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他們一搭一唱，紅玫瑰接著說：505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgd78S4L0L
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「但是，李晴煬選擇和MIO交換──以『白玫瑰沉睡』為代價，得到成人的外表。交換後，白玫瑰睡著，這也是爺爺當初到來時，只有我在的原因。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21CiRl03cR
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李仲翔聽懂了，怪不得李晴煬獲得成人外表後，行為舉止整個劣化，原來都是紅玫瑰在主導。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhD8oqqjqSt
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「問題來了：為什麼一開始的紅玫瑰不快樂？為什麼一提到小叔就跳腳？答案很簡單。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3b2iKomf51
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白玫瑰甜蜜一笑，「因為李晴煬對小叔不是恨，『恨李央』不符合紅玫瑰『愛人』的本質。這點我們要感謝尼可拉斯和宇維少爺，一個幫李晴煬點出問題，一個帶李晴煬去小叔的墓前認清事實，這才解開矛盾，李晴煬也不再糾結小叔的事。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZ7487qsZS
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提到李央，紅玫瑰的表情就很幸福。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTdpEsQXIg
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紅玫瑰說：「獅鷲不愧是獅鷲，她在謝氏點破李晴煬『缺愛』的事實，讓白玫瑰醒了過來，真的很厲害。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmKdOkf5sn
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「我明白了，也就是說──」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM56JHaIvU6
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李仲翔發出那聲很像呻吟的嘆息，壓低聲音：505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycFWNAe2ve
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「我要得到這副身體，你們都得死。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHmrQTiXwH
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「或者，」白玫瑰壞笑，「讓我們同時滿足、合而為一。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWiYCzm8u8
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紅玫瑰也笑，「滿足我們愛人的慾望，與被愛的渴望。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMkipQCZ78
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白玫瑰說：「因為小叔不在了──」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTItxhq1tsh
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紅玫瑰也說：「因為我們都不滿足──」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrVHZqeWlq
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兩雙手牽在一起，兩個聲音重疊在一起。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjPUTWZgfJ
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「才不會聽爺爺的話，乖乖去死喔。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVFf4bLPbD
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遇到對手了。李仲翔覺得頭好痛。該說不愧是自己的繼承人嗎？棘手程度真不是蓋的。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29ALQtwh83
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「……我知道了。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZMySFZz6k
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他把手放下來，紅色的眼睛看著兩個小鬼。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXrh8zejP0
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「現況來看，我殺不死你們，你們也無法趕我走。我們還得相處一段時間。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxCPORsrHt
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「沒錯。」白玫瑰燦爛一笑。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLPRjODrGd
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「就是這樣。」紅玫瑰表示認同。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeR7JXIuII
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「在你們找到愛的對象前，我會把力量借給你們，但是──」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgr83dasj1p
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李仲翔睜大血紅色的眼睛，下重話：505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegDp0ibuem
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「滿足後，都給我立刻去死，聽懂了嗎？」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4kgRNSQSR
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「聽懂了。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8zLwioTBb
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「知道了。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WD64IlLXZ
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「我們會聽爺爺的話。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBK3H7mMV2e
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「爺爺，還請多指教。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJdeREe60j
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說完，兩朵玫瑰走上前，同時牽住李仲翔的手，歡迎爺爺加入美麗的玫瑰花田，成為李晴煬的一部份。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuIq4t6dNH
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2157年12月2日，凌晨兩點，仙境大樓，二層505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCLfN1mo6h
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時間倒回高宇維與李博洋談話的隔天凌晨。因為MIO不想一個人睡，李博洋陪她在榻榻米打地鋪，但因為白天的談話，李博洋睡不著，只好趁MIO熟睡時離開房間，走去二樓的醫務室。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPj1MEG6Xm
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因為沒開燈，黑漆漆的醫務室裡，只有李晴煬一個人躺在病床。明明心電圖、其它有的沒的都正常，李晴煬就是醒不來，已經昏迷了兩個月。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1u1Khy5Os
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「弟弟……」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrani7HtZo
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李博洋坐在病床邊，看著李晴煬的睡臉，又想起白天和高宇維的談話。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh39sZZaXBH
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「對不起，要不是哥哥，你根本不會加入神與畜，也不會遇到這些事。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJgYOjVtOA
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李博洋開口，告訴沉睡中的李晴煬：505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTCFdg7fPT
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「我知道，我最多只能帶MIO走，你絕對不會想離開。依你的個性，一定會為了宇維少爺死吧？因為你是優秀的神與畜，相較之下，哥哥我竟然會陷入這種難題……枉費我還是你的嚮導，真諷刺。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp80zfHPGKP
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李博洋走到窗戶邊、兩手放在窗台，一邊看著外面的夜景，繼續說：505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfno2HH9BCk
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「我知道我沒有選擇，就算離開神與畜，爺爺還是會找上你，我不管選什麼都無法保護你。而且，MIO這樣的存在和個性，無法融入外面的世界。我不能為了一件百分之百會失敗的事，拋棄MIO和宇維少爺。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScpXhjdchB
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說著說著，李博洋的拳頭越握越緊，眼淚無聲無息掉下來，落在窗台上。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6oIKJRYey
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「什麼是稱職的神與畜──無論天秤的另一端是誰，都會選擇宇維少爺，我也確實要這麼做；但為了『正確』捨棄你，光憑這點，我就極度厭惡我自己。為什麼犧牲的是你的幸福？為什麼我這麼優柔寡斷？換成別人會淪落至此嗎？為什麼我和你要面對這種事……為什麼……」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7fSZSKn62
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人無法選擇出生，無法選擇命運；怎麼努力都改變不了現狀，才是真正的絕望。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73HiT5H9o1
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李晴煬生來就是紅心傑克的繼承者，李博洋無法改變它，只能心痛地接受事實，然後，絕望地目睹它發生。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpll3ktaIi
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他在窗台哭了很久。為了以神與畜的身分存活，李博洋必須拋棄其它情感。他這一哭，哭掉了自己對弟弟的所有感情。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKa3s4oHimt
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他已經長大，不需要與MIO交換，也不用仰賴遺忘，此刻的他學會自我切割──將心臟多餘的部分切除。當不必要的情緒不再左右自己，李博洋也完成了蛻變，停住了眼淚。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmKnKlt5bM
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「呼……」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVy3bhmPf1L
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他深吸一口氣、吐出來，再慢慢睜開眼睛。他不知道自己此刻規律的心跳，該歸類為平靜或是死寂。總歸來說，李博洋冷靜下來，理性主導腦袋。清晰的思緒叫他趕快回去，萬一MIO發現自己不在，一定會大哭大鬧。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Khm89Pv4I
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他轉身，正打算離開醫務室，李博洋的眼角餘光瞄到什麼，於是他移動視線──肩膀猛然一陣、後退三步，睜大的眼睛瞪著前方，好不容易規律的心跳又開始狂奏。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XHlRif45A
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李晴煬醒了。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgIa7czGrA
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不知道什麼時候醒了。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvSRoVwPgd
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他坐在床上，面無表情。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDUAKrwX53
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血紅色的眼睛看著，無聲無息。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVLr17bqA8
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「弟弟……？」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKGKrxAdQb
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你看我，我看你，兩雙紅色的眼睛看著對方，過了好久。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL31Z8BX3Ym
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「不……不對，你是誰？」假海龜的鐵扇出現在右手。李博洋拉起警戒，質問：「你是李仲翔，還是，我弟弟？」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NCB8Lwmiv
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「……。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD45dpwt67C
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李晴煬沒有回答，而是笑了。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UpjKM8GbJ
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像被鮮血污染的紅玫瑰。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SWdHUCNPM
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像被精液褻瀆的白玫瑰。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9EkWeMVYf
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像從撲克牌裡誕生的惡魔──代號為J。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡac59bp6L8p
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全名：紅心傑克。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DUwEGqv42
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重性憂鬱疾患 End