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第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kZC91nS1a
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2X7TdJgGP3
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還沒有學會「接受」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zDCDMDT3d
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接受現實412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuLu6XGY7C
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因為認為是屈服412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBj0PLrh8t
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感覺好像自己在投降412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iTkvdIrGW
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放棄一切412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfi34jZOeU0
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOYzEBimIC
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiho5aGyOjq
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認為是這樣子的狂妄412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxYwNOQ67g
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無他412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwlJGW8Dlb
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說是愚痴也不過份412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKBHjo51uH
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只是她不相信412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXHi4CYp8L
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懷疑412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFbBBWn52W
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她⋯⋯412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xQpaCPdp0
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「⋯⋯」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUjdevcMdk
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFohmAhB3z
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單單是想像也有夠不安412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbY2RybaIN8
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYTDFVD1gN
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRBm0FzZX8
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唯一句412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rDRASBHOD
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當局者迷，旁觀者清412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtL4hZPWmm
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc74jDWnU7n
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvgeCoEtHe
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LN9Uulqqo
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且不死，無法殺死412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGqZ3g0nf2
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人家已經很盡力了412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Bs6rB0h2U
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjdmOKRMpi
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憤怒412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYMAlxstQD
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnuMYibHAA
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因為我沒有用412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nhIG4eX1E
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciQpC224ur
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKqWhaKkMy
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SRPw3R26q
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOH81HAnHB
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlGZcxSGBW
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiqotNqS3T
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9ponUIUs5
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OHGOVyVEW
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrm4JYVHhSa
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92DaelnY7L
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwdTu3AKvQ
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBUsjv2tTI
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已經失眠了多久？412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ewI39YyQr
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyc40yd5NZy
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhN6fjPlik
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenvGNYp32y
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EdZytA7yA
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡac8wyR3Ra1
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpe7mxy9ej
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvcLC5ktoT
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8kZV8Jgnk
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHL5KNpXVI
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5NcFWszFn
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldnkhxbymm
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——呀？
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嗯？412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcp5LrC6Ipi
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXTQLIoijq
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrMP3iorsB
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkWOcQbxVo
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncJu4FTr8m
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhaBFeDLiE
我也想活下去
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUYezF47WM
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3R1tHTw5I
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogDu0psxiY
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZ0Gr5J5Jm
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNl6AvbgW0
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmANQTf2Gv
或是說，我不希望⋯412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHPGwuBjpY
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyrzbFH1SI
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⋯⋯412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfnOO5xEBq
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對不起412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvla9mFAUzj
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81h7CrdhXp
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAASyG1Ndn
我也希望自己⋯412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEI2uYek5ID
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSKcZ2TIHG
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zW73iB4xV
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TXuwyhH9C
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqrJBDxCiP
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmZhtr2uS7
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91cCT0bMpk
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEi37u3yN9G
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjbDlw1al0
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzqjcvPhy2
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPWvArJtfe
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0RCBx7hDn
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSSqUAeyz2
「⋯⋯嗯」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SEG0qm4BX
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqFlLGGSeM
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlkdy0dB91
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATzYH67GGA
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0h0lpFOuf
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
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「⋯⋯」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagsDSBIJUz
「真的」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLu2tPlDfXR
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAP3LlP1nH8
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFFAsZZ7id
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepzeWHtjVf
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeaI1CkyoD
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXqyQ2WlWO
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpByLXZTQZ
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacBb0qfbNT
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3CTS5ONg2
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOwNXOVG4X
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrzkd7FoNx
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTbPztgPuR
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GLepoT46z
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oz1P4m3Jq
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4npSvMuz1
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DAUcY9GZ7
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEq9hIrcs2J
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgNx3GO7DY
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡha9hzbwekR
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3lCsJykL9
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIlcwGz1zb
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73bJbibK0e
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEh6tqPmPL1
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLreA4B0Cg
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40Y86gsyPz
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDhyb3w4wJ
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMhkKLJwh1
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUQT0pBBpz
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kcjyMlImt
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKdvNJgGho
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOjOMdUbBo
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4BgrsouXe
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoce6kAHv5F
最後一記，最強烈
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc63rjyg6RR
「⋯哈啊⋯」
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2KlReCkAd
鬆口，直至其手到胸口412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsXkecU7Av
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnVouZjJ2i
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdf4R4hJ2oD
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNd6U6wqxMX
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4X3g53Pl6
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KAMounOXF
「⋯啊？」
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwfFyCRClU
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAfS1EIcO9
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtvffhyWNX
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
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「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
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「等、等等」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFUVtfwX4h
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUkkUWBOHU
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8kvxkrDZC
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLD8JRsajBX
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6SsCDNZmD
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprdog619F6
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13G6j7Htkj
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynWNyRngCJ
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHgpwWDmbJ
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSfu46a54W
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxZLmAGWXj
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡae3WkigNlQ
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfi6VhYayp
好痛
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但會有人在意嗎？
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviS4NGkx81
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniVPlQ9vVL
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHNBY09t7p
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsirX1lPehb
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjyrgY5CKq
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKEotI2xQ9
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEHWnlR1gm
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwHeN9nJdD
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9JQO99lML
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Y86itgBa0
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSieQMsyMco
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCB7yoGU9T
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsgPWefYPN
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQPP5Kdnrb
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cPSZ1npuL
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3H73J8YzR
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ug3FHn4dE
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3ssBfSyke
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsF9iuGlIT
比較下，條件不由自己定
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmo3f4BIXuh
我沒有選擇權412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuV9gFViFe
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlng7iCTZu
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3rPMmaSM0
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4cP7jnPAR
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYcyXKe4V1
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKrQ0gqmBk
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明白嗎？412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRy0teuufUo
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBZXgRPZ5M
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jrLTdBWIl
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5R498Solh
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqCgITxEMg
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡji8MhcWPS9
若世界更溫柔的話——
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhBRziJ2A3
不可能412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Zs0C9EgTM
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhOvQxcJ2X
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mdu3O2Ken
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsZdyCXHe7
什麼也沒有412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEYUGlwY7W
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfZIuUDbhV
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdTa7oc3iQ
在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlwSwyMKOj
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXOWruks4v
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QqFxjjKzs
當然412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3loRpjKlk
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絕對
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlar6hB2NY9
不想412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxN5CbTc22j
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxJoFa0RSW
但始終，真的太辛苦了412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ456gOD0G24
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlk7Cw6Tg1
⋯⋯412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRV5l4qBll
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思考真的太辛苦了412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4tIpJZ7ns
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWn9o4KJJN4
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafVo23llC7
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「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30ExPPsUZS
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtd3bWcN3gM
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWkTMnmRFM
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8xVTJFgIO
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKpNQQmTDs
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQukLZDE46D
「⋯⋯對不起」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qQv5odB2g
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSDAz157By
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeFdjbTHJN
「嗯⋯」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFcoQLGtOd
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTIb1Jl1de
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWxzA4pjWU
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb933whYRk6
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB45VO47DeE
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhj5CyYnny
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ651H6LGYT4
「忠誠致赤雨之日」412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJTbRzOv8G
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljgrplr5T0
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuL3oEwB6PG
女孩說道
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmV7WerbjL
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09K46YZ9D2
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV29vKDuQa2
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dbpZslB5L
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLS0smFO2DH
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDwc4zEnPL
是女孩的指示412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTYBd3TC4I
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZj4FQVcPO
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIaL9ZcBpV
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6DE57EsnA
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJ2HkpDY7r
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Xj8BUfJtR
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNENfGEMUs
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4ZYpO8HJV
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pg2APHsTB
直至最後能看見的——412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgwgu3MdJr
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6dJXCpLzb
也不存在
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMw8NMiWhI
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZbOj25OLy
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2QOBfu0MB
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcPTeyiffY
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3uhYlQNsL
但無法辨認412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBkB3dmLbA
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaYAqmhz7S
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumH6D3EoQl
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIdIosX342
黑暗將自己包圍412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeQHA8jPJF
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqLSJPmwQM
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTynIYiqFK
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mAuMIX2LK
不知多久了412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMxHWB8XPf
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgv6K970ue
在那時開始412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qAYaycqrA
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqkTEzTuFO
那裏412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpI9WZfAfS
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhCtAlP8r8
但有些事情〇〇
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmzpvD0IcZ
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9rpqWc1L1
〇〇〇412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYktLL0o9Cf
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsg95zzXjS
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKvS6S89Ag
〇〇〇〇〇〇412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5v7j6KLoGA
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUzXM4hnRJ
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAMANJrrfo
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDrlOdtMZP
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrg8Iws9WWM
現在不是你的回合412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiA5QvBGoox
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lLfoVQRoZ
412Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnANgtg6PV
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