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EP 20 逃離396Please respect copyright.PENANAuxYYeVheDw
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您終究是一點也不明白啊396Please respect copyright.PENANAqlmdBPO6GC
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大家好
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我是6B班的千羽,今天帶領大家閱讀經文
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今天的經文,是取自於《傳真道:論世經》第二章:生命:第一段396Please respect copyright.PENANA3FABaCWEI6
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「在出生之前、在死亡之後396Please respect copyright.PENANAqGj79nCBPs
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您要謙卑,接受自己的不足
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您根本什麼也不懂
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因為您如何地來到,也勢必如何地離去」
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沒錯,我們,每一個人也是396Please respect copyright.PENANAU7xOIb60uy
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根本沒有什麼意義可言
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這是主的話
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感謝上主⋯396Please respect copyright.PENANAkPcAFwsGcx
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396Please respect copyright.PENANARUJ9oKSVMi
忠誠致赤雨之日
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吶396Please respect copyright.PENANA2WCHJXqbfT
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知道嗎?人每天腦海中的自白至少有數百萬句,平均計四千萬字,大約是每秒兩句,數量隨年紀增長而增加,特別是值第三期末、四期始,即青少年時期的14至20歲左右的階段,受發育荷爾蒙影響,是至從母胎出生,最迅速發育的時期
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對,至出生以來,因為其實大腦發育最主要的時期,正正是母胎中時
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正常人的大腦能力是有限的,那怕是歷史中所記載的天才,也只是比常人厲害少許而,更不用提事實上不少「天才」也缺乏相對的其他能力,包括社交、自理、溝通方面,迫使他們被社會排擠,詆毁作「自閉」、「怪胎」、「高分低能」之類的
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沒辦法,在生物學的角度上,真相是:不是人不能用盡大腦,是因為大腦不只為意識層面而存的器官
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您可知道,除了思考、解難之外,辨別、感知、情感、運動,種種身體的活動,允許人在世界上自由活動,也是由大腦所賦予的
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神經系統、內分泌系統、記憶力、認知能力396Please respect copyright.PENANAvQuOghitF6
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這也是為什麼腦退化症、阿滋海默症(Alzheimer's disease),以及其他失智症,不但會使患者認知能力下降,更會使他們連自理、身體活動亦有所困難
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而現在,有這麼一群人,掌握了一個方法,如何擺脫現況的方法,令新一代人類出現,有更高綜合腦力的可能性
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那就是「母體計劃」
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有賴於崎品的出現,這些比世界普眾更先進的人們,不但從中鑽研出更高深的模因學知識,更是對科學引出了一番完全的革命,得出了比人類所想像得出的科幻未來,更為科幻的結果
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一百年前,若說那時的科技水平是讓人類能蔑視神,那麼現在的他們,所掌握的能力,不單單是成神,還是擁有了創造神的能力,雖說其中一方不支持成神就對了,但同時也無可避免地在這條路上邁進中,行走著
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比起正常人更上等,這是他們所追隨的,不論肉體、精神、科技,各種,終究到底,大家也是在做些影響世界的舉動,十足十光明會,陰謀論的世界上,「母體計劃」只是眾多之中的其中一環,兩方人馬的科技之一,這項目甚至相較其他的項目,只是一般的程度罷,但這種一般,卻對這個世界來説,是外太空科技了呢
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麻醉,灌入L型液,刺激發夢,繼而引發大腦發育396Please respect copyright.PENANAgqqCgvZMfo
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而這邊的,甚至可以直接以全身覆蓋的樣式去進行,順便結合了除開大腦,還可激進肉身的發展
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不過有什麼關係呢?反正對於我而言,兩面的科技也能用,反正我是他們所重視的「道具」396Please respect copyright.PENANAjcbwI9YPV4
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因我成為了間諜,「紅雲」的,我出賣了原先所容納自己,自己的根,我出賣了「蒲公英」396Please respect copyright.PENANA0Z4fRPNfGc
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千羽 櫻,於「蒲公英」中別名「赤丸」的「月月」行動組成員
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那麼在「紅雲」中呢?「忠犬行動」的唯一成員:「姫」396Please respect copyright.PENANAA9xTN660nF
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原因呢?重要嗎?就如同這些自白一樣,重要嗎?反正不會有誰知道、理解到這一切,因為人各有各命,因為自己太「與眾不同」,怎麼也好,說到底,這不也是那千萬字中的一部分嗎?396Please respect copyright.PENANAZtPXE9jwwC
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到底有什麼意義呢?
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不也是為了保持大腦轉動396Please respect copyright.PENANAz4PLaMfW8l
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人腦,尤如虎鯊一樣,不游動便會死去,因為缺少如肺一樣,鰓不能主動引入水流,作氣體交換,在完全靜止的水流下,虎鯊完全不動的話,就像人閉氣一樣,缺氧、窒息、死亡,會是必然的
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腦這個東西,甚至比想像中脆弱,要不然為什麼身體要特別有水膜,堅固的頭骨保護著,反映的就是頭殼裏的器官很重要,比起心臟更為重要
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稍微受傷就會昏倒、殘障,死去
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何況意識層面上的傷害,也即精神上的傷害,其威力是何其大的,能讓人能做出不理智的行為,感性的衝動,下場又是多麼的不可預測396Please respect copyright.PENANAetVpPQqCAR
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又如我所作的⋯⋯396Please respect copyright.PENANAjUiAQXfQc7
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因為⋯為了什麼原因?
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⋯⋯
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恐怕我自己也不清楚
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但這樣也說明不了為什麼自己的大腦處於高壓狀態,為什麼在這麼短的時間內,自白的數量竟如此多,有些更是,一些很、十分瑣碎的想法
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負面至極點的396Please respect copyright.PENANAvSxrQeTtqg
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我不知道,我也不想知道為什麼,這股壓力的來源396Please respect copyright.PENANAvUdSiKbqsv
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不396Please respect copyright.PENANAa7skrLUGvf
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不396Please respect copyright.PENANANJe8MN6yhv
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我其實是知道的,不過我拒絕去承認,我對自己説了謊,和我怎樣騙取了大家的信任一樣似的,畢竟要欺騙他人之前,也理所當然地要先騙過自己
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⋯⋯該死
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由某個野心家帶領的組織,計劃些不明不白的事情,真的,不是我不能理解,好歹自己已經有和那個潔怡差不多的腦力,但是⋯⋯
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真的很難理解,兩方的執念
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為什麼,為什麼要去冒險?
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同時,為什麼要去插手於沒有把握的事情?
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看來,即使人如何地進化,最野蠻的本性也是仍存在的396Please respect copyright.PENANAlNO9qhUOV3
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因為所謂的「生命本能」,而垂死掙扎
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以及所謂的「精神本性」,而寧死不屈396Please respect copyright.PENANA50GRiZCzRj
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然而也是虛象的一種396Please respect copyright.PENANAJe7I0jHnJf
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為了保持大腦轉動,大腦總是欺騙著意識去忽視真正有事實,那怕是直接放在眼前,也能無視,當作盲點一樣,逆模因的運作原理,最原生的機制
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這些原因、意義什麼的也不重要,說到最後,也只是在為了「生存」罷
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這是唯一的真相
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要不然咧?我後悔嗎?396Please respect copyright.PENANAPbyDGk6AVH
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『人最大的痛苦來自於堅持』
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這番話由我一直引以為戒的口中說出,即使或許已經沒有機會能遇上也好,冥冥中自己亦一直提防著,不希望自己成為最不喜歡的那個,不論對方如何地偉大,作為一個曾經親近對方的人,我不認為對方是好的、善的
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也⋯不多少影響了自己在當初做了這個選擇
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究竟是怎樣強大的意志力,才促使人能絕對理性呢?
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不對,不該這樣子問
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究竟有什麼原因,人才能絕望得來,又永垂不倒呢?396Please respect copyright.PENANASbeT9NbOHm
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那股力量,精神力量,既不是以希望為食,亦不受信仰支撐,那麼難道以感情為糧嗎?可要知道,此刻於胸襟中的烈溫,並非憤怒而生的那種星星之火,在這裏啊396Please respect copyright.PENANAWHNKWnSOHj
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這裏
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這,裏頭可是什麼也沒有,十分空洞,卻十分熾熱
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是一種執念、決意
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但為了什麼而存在?
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簡直是一種⋯缺空396Please respect copyright.PENANAgsr8Ys84Mm
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我不相信,失去了作為信徒的資格396Please respect copyright.PENANAhDWE9UeBFG
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我不前進,失去了作為不朽的權利
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我不坦承,失去了作為幸運的自由
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所以說
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然後呢?
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就這樣吧?毫無追求地活下去?
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「人家我倒不如直接去死一死」396Please respect copyright.PENANAXFMmVxeMkb
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真想這樣說,但說了的話,自己又和他們有什麼分別呢?這個道理始終是從古以來已有,存在古人的智慧中
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犯下了無法被恕罪的過錯,自古以來的答案只有唯一,就連自身所討厭的黑幫也會這個道理,以死謝罪,因為死亡,不是解決了問題,但直接解決了提出問題的人,算是一種殘忍中的慈悲嗎?我怎知道,但這方法不存在,我沒有做出這個決定的能力
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也沒有這個權利和自由
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這場心靈裁判甚至不需開始,已結束
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某些狀況中,連自己的生死也不由自己控制,假的,倒是人心不得自由是問題,若如宗教信仰的束縛
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好比如,於困難中多麼渴望死亡,作為受苦的結束,但卻在死後遇見永遠的地獄,是絕望吧,永生不得安寧的下場,很可怕吧?倒是⋯仍然是一條出路吧?
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對於他人來說,可能,我?不可能,別開玩笑了
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卻一定396Please respect copyright.PENANAhKmh43WHt2
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至少比起現況,一定會更好吧,始終這個所活在的現實,乃如假包換的煉獄了,我可是想不到有什麼比這個更糟了
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但的確,精神的傷害,終究而言,也是嚴重過肉體的傷害呢,要不然祈求寬恕的意志,又是如何地克服到死亡的恐懼呢?
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答案顯然易見吧396Please respect copyright.PENANAMFzMhT0TWR
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疤痕能治療好,精神傷痕卻只能隱藏,即使是更熟悉模因學的「蒲公英」而言,乃不變,前者更是不對的說法
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『任何的傷口也並沒有癒合,失去的、受損的,才沒有回來,只是被新的一層包住了』396Please respect copyright.PENANAQXdTV97kHo
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可是呢396Please respect copyright.PENANApNPMWtqX9E
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要不然⋯他們⋯這個世界也不會這樣了吧?396Please respect copyright.PENANA5LnHSBY81f
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話雖崎品是會增加宿主的精神負擔,但其實只對了一半,因為真相只是對身體的負荷,轉而到精神上了
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人越大,認知越多,自然心智所承受的社會壓力、責任,各種,也越多,道理相似,宿主的能力純粹是多一個身體器官般,但正常人根本不該承受這種多出來的生理壓力396Please respect copyright.PENANAi8wSOzKUX3
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因為初生階段,所以負荷也特別大396Please respect copyright.PENANAXyLqAjSJGa
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最開頭,也是最困難之處,在科學角度上,各種各樣的事物也是,不是指處理上,是機緣巧合上
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生理條件、崎品狀態、精神情況396Please respect copyright.PENANAhABZQopbbe
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無論是宿主化、融合進度,連「狂暴化」也是,運氣的安排
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但的確,這個世界,就是這麼變幻莫測,崎品的威脅性,也是機緣巧合之下,天擇之下,也捉了他們回來
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真正意圖?我不知道,但我不支持「蒲公英」的辦事手法,不但太冒險了,也太過⋯謹慎了
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模因學掌握得極致,不知有沒有弄錯因果關係,但這邊主要是透過操縱人心而行事,同時也因為這點,有時連自己的成員也成為其操縱對象之一
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⋯奧窩的模因劑為例⋯那能自然迫使他人信於他、盲目跟從、無視邏輯謬誤的「氣場」,模因霧化劑
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是很恐怖的操作,不得了,真的
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那怕已經有相當的反模因,由對家「紅雲」提供,當然,但也不時地⋯受到影響,變智障⋯很噁心
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老實說,知道他的「死」,我是放鬆了點⋯一點,始終同命相連,宿主能力影響下,生命相連⋯
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不過也給予了我充足的時機去摧毀那恐怖的裝置
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最重要的是⋯⋯引領著這一切的⋯即⋯⋯總之⋯⋯就是⋯⋯即使行動的最後,也是一個可能性的這點
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為了少於一半可能性的未來而努力,甚至最後下場也不一定如意,將人心戲弄,引起不信任,我可不像得某些人,能給予絕對的信任⋯
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嘛⋯簡單來說,「蒲公英」的狀況,不利於我去再信任,也利於我去背叛
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當然,「紅雲」的目標,我也不支持
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整個「攀登世界,征服世界」的概念,老實說,我很討厭,若如邪教一樣,太漠視世界的價值觀
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這也是為什麼我會做出一連串破壞,去干預計劃進行,且損害「蒲公英」的資源和人手,然後引來「紅雲」插手396Please respect copyright.PENANACODGwWFAsy
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因為其實我⋯兩邊也不要同站396Please respect copyright.PENANAtu6hbZjDlO
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我想一手消滅我所討厭的存在
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即使是拼上性命也好
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畢竟我的命已經沒有什麼價值可言了
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反正我已經任由天命了
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那怕,粉身碎骨也好396Please respect copyright.PENANAUwY6D0A8LU
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那怕,那些「蒲公英」所提供的模因學知識,是會對我意識的傷害
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那怕,這些「紅雲」所提供的崎品刺激劑會使我精神大創,甚至人格分裂
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理性囚奴,我已經不在乎了
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『若世界更溫柔』
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『若人性更堅強』396Please respect copyright.PENANAI18ng6gmRD
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我已經不相信了396Please respect copyright.PENANAUKyTMug8mJ
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心已死的話,可只是純粹地原地踏步的話
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就那裏也不去
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知性,自我意識,早已逆襲
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我的命運如何?
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也不是由他人來決定了
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因為您們不會懂的
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不屬於自己回合時,堅持下去的如何
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我的決心,是比您們還堅定的一點
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關於我的過去?396Please respect copyright.PENANAdHyTgNROZZ
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⋯⋯
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恩人 家人 敵人 仇人
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也是同一人
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所以說,人家已經受夠了逃避作為我唯一的出路396Please respect copyright.PENANA0pbz7c4Gan
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由現在開始
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我將要開始逃離這個煉獄396Please respect copyright.PENANAlsww93cVjn
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