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第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZVWA0BWLT
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNiyt7yXjW
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還沒有學會「接受」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24nBVvxJtN
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接受現實512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFY8BKBT40
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因為認為是屈服512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKUHliodnb
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感覺好像自己在投降512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27IvabGP3d
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放棄一切512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDnMuricle
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2268HrJZn
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSomwzVlTk
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認為是這樣子的狂妄512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTV31vlcRp
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無他512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gH4sZamyN
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說是愚痴也不過份512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjfaU5pnfc
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只是她不相信512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19tXUMSsrb
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懷疑512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSkzVc5LWO
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她⋯⋯512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEfG1d0KNs
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「⋯⋯」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uSnHvQVo8
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyCyrUmalp
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單單是想像也有夠不安512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZCm1FunKi
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPMskxwSIm
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8E6FEjqX7
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唯一句512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQlPcaJCLQ
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當局者迷，旁觀者清512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1P88tBJEwt
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTmVkeDGZt
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oaABOdME6
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——————512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6Fntj7HEQ
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTYzQKH0kf
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且不死，無法殺死512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0GlMclvbj
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——————512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuf36Of1Dsc
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人家已經很盡力了512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxvb4egZku
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JLWCypDiA
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憤怒512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCnmwTsykx
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqLphgS22e
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因為我沒有用512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopRJxfiod2
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2rXVvC45L
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WpTlsaTOH
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrRnm4fg9n
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiT3inuqOHC
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktq8C3VMB5
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZUdbxzRX6
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XuwAjyvSv
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLhulvD43R
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu58meh1FJs
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUuvcoqC4b
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4ELv9GfML
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Gmg8fQAHv
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已經失眠了多久？512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNEUXtK3l1
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMSoXmUwI9
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpEUtSPUUz
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QLRWn6qG2
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxZrFsIN4s
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEtSbpsDBj
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL61VzgH6Lo
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWjSIKDvVX
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvxcyfR80l
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6W1IhKoP5C
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZS3oJRNwlD
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2TSVR4Lno
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——呀？
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嗯？512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQX1ktE91A
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又是這樣
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrnASK7Ozm
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPm4N8RyWM9
難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cxCnMPKLk
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hhoDRbyVk
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1KjaXNRP6
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCqvLTGq6e
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7flXZeL4l
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvwQKWAj1g
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4NpMjBGHH
我也想活下去
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoKnWfEdF4
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnnJKG2LiF
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFHPkwoVmL
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sJMNUi969
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQkAE0jIgc
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpewAxqt4N
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFSTGem7v8
或是說，我不希望⋯512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1nLDaV1mJ
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKjuONpuhm
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVZZzuFxGO
⋯⋯512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjjGfW9ToY
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkLdymyS5m
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGjPPDmhYo
對不起512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7le2uvDkY
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEXpZMK1Sj
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYY7Xy9R2fp
我也希望自己⋯512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OkV5A4Z8w
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0jLOaZAoj
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNyHonabwD
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmv7ein5I11
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwZf2yWPWU
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mNi9DMMs7
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQFDFKLhob
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5vq4L8P0x
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymxURo6Whj
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJnGlEMpD3
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AvC8N4ghe
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XkYO39xI2
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZJD29Dx1T
「⋯⋯嗯」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMAE1hfWaJ
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0HIbhZPJm
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZdq8r7GD6
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUoiYLkYSr
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeK1HsZjZnt
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUsOI0zpUf
「⋯⋯」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DCe9tXLf7
「真的」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxPXIJLNiH
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALJMN1Tvf9
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxE0SixvsPf
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbUnSOFf1Y
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrBvMARBYP
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXotnuEk54
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNH9Z3QbfA
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSdtNGkwYW
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtA8XFrFnvL
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbSpnK48aX
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKOHZULMw9
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsuCowD92u
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48EMYfC2PY
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaduMzuFjxc
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3GvVuxuDa
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHtUBP5Pqw
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nsgPE2QHU
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6917p9jJ9
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyKtZ2aa0g
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5ikEg36r3
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlvsj7zaFD
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEpIrnPqFJ
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcwJx7Zpn1
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigjpyjCYJz
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKDH85uyje
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhLhvUYlFA
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2K2claJEeO
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROstHhyBnb
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDII3vGQEJv
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmUu2iBi35
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTw1W3XJLr
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdGfkUTZep
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFaXMkMVC3
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKI5tIlI9UD
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Is9dY0nYr
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkWH4W9Wuh
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHgpMcX8b5
最後一記，最強烈
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3nS6Sp4nR
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1WugLtfbo
「⋯哈啊⋯」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqcT43sv2N
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEn9V82ug8
鬆口，直至其手到胸口512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbynis7QHw
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGFZ0TKDuU
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GLektKJGj
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEepgAUsnTM
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPL3Csh3NT
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm350wiqEGb
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeEI9VZxSN
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIKxXcYdqo
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGwc3gKcuQ
「⋯啊？」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKUit33XCW
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDUdpDZvOR
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnf1MnuEA3
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHbekSZoEb
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmdxJYKLMd
「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCdprPagYJ
「等、等等」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTOVveWUT6
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRSXF0H3Fn
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsU0BD22T4
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMF9S0zP8zB
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYMZT55VJ2
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFv2i7xk3X
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjopqIzP9W
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeN9GeRadID
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6IqCMSNfb
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQqUDbdk1F
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmRK6ef1gJ
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsFjXjlzrU
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8vrQs0805
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvcga1Lgdf
好痛
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOm75EXzXgM
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5B7Zx8pnB
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9LFE2LJC7
但會有人在意嗎？
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOW5sVE7fRO
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WraI0lsTK
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlClgxAGj1a
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HNgTtWUUW
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMiB8ghFMc
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8spFebkdR
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdtSEQD4sJ
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAabQ9zytO
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNCNmcmybJ
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYN3I1LRIzx
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolykLTTUfp
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJc6PBps33O
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDpWMDAMkY
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvexeFFzvK
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsguWwu0vCt
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDIoXB2gbs
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjg8zWzm6xk
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfUqhRcOBH
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlba3hpA44
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvnEgzD8qF
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGutlajcKHC
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSDwlxtpCW
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvDftCI2PB
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9Cq7LTdDg
比較下，條件不由自己定
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqMGjivyYB
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54H0dODVkM
我沒有選擇權512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRo8EezSfzr
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEOjiu3hdi
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NNRphnuIy
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMP9yC9KMY
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmv1NRkFQYz
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aFGz92ycF
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtD4FGsJxv7
明白嗎？512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJG5I8qz7Bn
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYGqgchh4G
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDnbcZqcs1
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzUXT6gwbG
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WEpDYCwqY
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUjv0f6zut
若世界更溫柔的話——
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywz2Va6est
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMI0OSG08V6
不可能512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRRs5B15sh
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5pPpO4zkL
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVK6tiXFCS
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4ZBzMp7t8
什麼也沒有512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8UnmFBcXu
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfrAPFEd1y
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dhllULOAs
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1rVoZyzTN
在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacihTF3fiP
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRhQ5CtG6h
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6MVahVCjr
當然512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD59ufGM6yP
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6Eung3NY3
絕對
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZxMMo5dcZ
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7cLeUDcz9
不想512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71F4ENOX9v
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRr0FngAjb
但始終，真的太辛苦了512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGtk6aViuy
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIRasmWLRX
⋯⋯512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpmARiKyqu
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gI3U8ZUpM
思考真的太辛苦了512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1UYtJSVj3
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsycHLI1dh2
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1x3reJ3Rl5
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfaHMhZWb9
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rv0zNSLue
「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3LBfUFkfZ
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QGbuRMw2X
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJpBelCt4A
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtu8UFtmf4m
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCsR5lbnCX
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6zY4PW2eN
「⋯⋯對不起」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHpDe4N0ok
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnucPRCpMXJ
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EIDSJc32z
「嗯⋯」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDpIGjQbPA
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPD4rBQ6YwL
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJV6Uzbacn
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHBi6R7DRU
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5JrlzLz4q
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI83jLH9LQc
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXNzJPxWVr
「忠誠致赤雨之日」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCGdN3jvUI
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPjwfw8ag3
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfm89sG4gGo
女孩說道
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRLCXpkf7m
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPyNFlbg0z
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdgv0Oktf9
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8ngkN5mGC
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDA9XRdwguJ
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzYOoLsqiD
是女孩的指示512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehZ3duAsNO
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegqjRBdVuU
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtwLYJGPyr
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZNZpzS6Ro
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIMgWLSdff
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFYfDpJpWz
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbeZvSJXrJ
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRNddqbZt5
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyizmHUZTJl
直至最後能看見的——512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCOQO3AaqD
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTLblzhyii
也不存在
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlicmQhYBCe
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEHu5YVkRg
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2qLeDJtX6
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVz6xI1MjJg
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXttVbroP2
但無法辨認512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡieJsHrpDjv
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvglJcI7G9
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZmOLC1mZ6
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgkNVddd4X
黑暗將自己包圍512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UF1COGHjz
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKq2w4iRH6
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBz8cXBl5P
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkRBQod8fl
不知多久了512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJj01HvS6Ys
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUvK68csG3
在那時開始512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGi2iE8pj4
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdlsaeIeSo
那裏512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJ02WDIeiB
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iOX3Zwj6l
但有些事情〇〇
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gCEm7GzUT
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4C8LT2LS8
〇〇〇512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQZMEX22ia
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4XAplwirX
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkcB6i46Dx
〇〇〇〇〇〇512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBeKZav4ly
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIreadi8dUL
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi13elgSxpN
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZIDW6Du02
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIy9nRCm6OV
現在不是你的回合512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JZyGMsrM4
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPjz2c1xBM
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHrYEJ7rZF
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