第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCL7RqC3vQ2
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4xPuQjgU8
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還沒有學會「接受」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTOKZQkNiF
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接受現實537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFZdDgC1P1
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因為認為是屈服537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4aU1HVPqX
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感覺好像自己在投降537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErGvuUc53w
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放棄一切537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDytlazXlQL
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSexXVvYE7O
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CvDCV816l
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認為是這樣子的狂妄537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplG0z6VJNr
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無他537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HgZmNm1kR
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說是愚痴也不過份537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxJf61hsYz
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只是她不相信537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOJ6E97id1
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懷疑537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqLkVmUEuE
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她⋯⋯537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJ8pHxZOfz
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「⋯⋯」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrO2NTGOlhF
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymbOcjkkqZ
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單單是想像也有夠不安537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjr7x0ntnxH
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBBe68Ymk7
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHanEWGleHe
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唯一句537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhE3ymI7TIn
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當局者迷，旁觀者清537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaw4AKceOxi
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ16tyKU2EJ
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UMw4xWzrZ
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfBV97Wfbc
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且不死，無法殺死537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgioE1DQuAK
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人家已經很盡力了537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarDDKqlIEs
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbixECExMsl
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憤怒537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mUpqzOWJC
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UpQWpoVrL
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因為我沒有用537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlTtBuzY5Z
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0VM9Cub80
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpS5remeTVZ
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjQiUZuwHR
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWkWPIpLIu
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnU3VACl5K
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuTSoXlE0V
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcybE52dnur
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnXeimOw6g
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJEmWjzi6T
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBvObXxxXd
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63SodGsNoj
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXyjDK1Mc0
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已經失眠了多久？537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gTYdjvlMq
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfS2530bQD
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOTib3iBzk
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdKNRvgHSe
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyjjAAGSQx
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AtysZs8nL
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxEICnXg3G
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dDKAPw2AQ
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNAiuLgdlr
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekeZeC4nN2
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1ykdfTJ4T
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHqOHOD9DF
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——呀？
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嗯？537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUi9JFTnPm
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9oKsT2Pst
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyAET1JyJF
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyaqPNBDpe
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxfVMrx8G6
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我也想活下去
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD24HLLnFMs
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7YyX8n8JB
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lLWKyO75s
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyzR3zMWTV
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyf7e3s6wd
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iUZhHkOhn
或是說，我不希望⋯537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmO4WJsIdfZ
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⋯⋯537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRALJos4Upl
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對不起537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgWGh5mjRj
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我也希望自己⋯537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqiU9zLwdZ
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcsI85rEmj
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhM5jUtLAeK
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeTFE4dAd8
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8D6QBeZz6
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEdo5DS0pT
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWR2rCMwT3
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO67jNujpuF
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6nGqWnhWW
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXNOmjrXpL
「⋯⋯嗯」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fbFoxiXwU
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnFUQnBgr8
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3j3OVsCvF
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8hgmvVPkW
「⋯⋯」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMljIWzG7nb
「真的」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZfEKfwaiU
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjX3punsLL
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS40cNGuYpg
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iyu55qqTV
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB88T11R2KN
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BtQphv14y
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFN4MzQZeXH
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNiakm0HWM
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhZBguAoZs
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoO6fRMLcX
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPzqRY7W3o
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1FIZ4Ug3K
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pC8mqZfII
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkFsuCtsLM
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZm3yfgZCCP
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6ldvYtt1g
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlweaYcfQa
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPdxG9gaK7
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MlC3o5E5k
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0R1qKX8Gd
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTPxPrEbAw
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QcV1C9QvG
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5pfGdXcVE
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7OVwU4urF
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQhWTomjJ0
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmfKPjvzCG
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMV3sRuN31a
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIfDvwrBAz
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cZ65QOSoh
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgveOA5ERDd
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzYCIfGpGx
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEjj6sXIUZ
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkCVH6An23
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kwTRKebzF
最後一記，最強烈
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvEJHYP1rY
「⋯哈啊⋯」
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGrJkb2Hc4
鬆口，直至其手到胸口537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9fYg76lft
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBurkBl20xg
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfXlG9YVE0
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXDYxKZJhl
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjIP8rX0Tc
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcr0Tv3cI5w
「⋯啊？」
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvqVusUw0F
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0M870l46j
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL55LTBH8xy
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
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「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
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「等、等等」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGhiSxOX7r
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bH95N3FJk
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdK6WbPz9CL
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztdRdRVV6V
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡit20qUgTJb
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaqbeFRTGP
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV03q3UFpbs
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuqUljZUX6
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzs971mIJq
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtJgd3lyL8
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGjeZuI1VV
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNMyrKIn6h
好痛
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但會有人在意嗎？
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOBhbvAMpH
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhANlWi4pF
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcggOCLfXS
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuprG6Ldpx3
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdS5wfd9Dw
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CNS4g6A9b
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSA7vt02R5h
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchpGMx4qRh
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVV39gA4iG
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicSb7EvPvY
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwAMthEX3m
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIJ9scgwEv
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKWWOBf9pP
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0znovyJnIo
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKSGNyDMlV
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvtyQ3P60Q
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlZ93DUQzp
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadD2I4u1BU
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTQAQmtXg4
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKFJSBTafJ
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIfxJobi1k
比較下，條件不由自己定
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XXrrzJT7w
我沒有選擇權537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxot3kTbek
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZLX02Jib6
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfHsz9OeCV
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgzCTGUDED
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YgHenbRS2
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmPdUVGqS4
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明白嗎？537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Q5TLEjr5T
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8chYlrB75
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUuCNYGbLE
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRG1jprisvR
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡed0dVYdzGn
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKoSSjUVrb
若世界更溫柔的話——
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不可能537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0nnqOUCeI
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故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSKgsIIyqE
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxjby8oXeS
什麼也沒有537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQ1iqi7bEO
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在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLyAW83vGs
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwGETfaNoR
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當然537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV76ZFRWF0x
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絕對
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不想537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hCCwA4UgB
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KwLxhC8Fn
但始終，真的太辛苦了537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ln2oQsWl2
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⋯⋯537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgTqlKOBPz
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思考真的太辛苦了537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9qlQGCuQu
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi11m1lXlJD
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「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74wjvie9XL
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiFx1JXjdf
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7x3iJkBhMl
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CxEorsYCS
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXtF6AKGIz
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF20656zl8k
「⋯⋯對不起」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kTYqtibSW
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEnHgJBrjf
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wNLRQKyG9
「嗯⋯」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMhuTUYciI
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTE5aPjntlh
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2X1V861ho5
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxKlwU6Kjh
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT97QhuPWlm
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzt0OmCYMml
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSadoAZEK1
「忠誠致赤雨之日」537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvDSLyFdTZ
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FuCteN6LG
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHYsq0V8fW
女孩說道
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGWRYSqlDe
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHvuMKOpth
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDw3zmeMRJ
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsY9mAFBfC
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAfdEWSq9v
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqVdnEyabY
是女孩的指示537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdPTwvH0HV
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8JQhhRQan
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89Pl6UrMOE
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡif5pwB2JMj
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQBsCipoZc
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgQY45d6bm
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiM8mWkSfWI
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6Rssd3SSM
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQjngZ7Ms5
直至最後能看見的——537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNnYgQctiz
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVmXKGtpuC
也不存在
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQnHcm7AvF
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgBF9Crq2c
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOejIelrLN
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcgipyctDB
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkhtvBAcyf
但無法辨認537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKogw5NqCnW
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOb0AojKFqC
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbc5LTtK15M
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnxZkSIW7e
黑暗將自己包圍537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Y1noo2C8f
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0mAOdWnjw
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVjPPWODPg
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOYtDkBS4U
不知多久了537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjd8WXIerh
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgChvm1R5O
在那時開始537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgI0JVU4EY8
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡko2NuI6wlo
那裏537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxC7eeKvzN
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJl441QiDQ
但有些事情〇〇
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SXOjcqmPa
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lGop8MPqr
〇〇〇537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHZf0hXe71
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XqVHUqPh9
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2rNQGYdeg
〇〇〇〇〇〇537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0pw3fX784
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvuRgEuw8a
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qTrqGjitK
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsSFtY7ZA6
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6O0ppqWDP
現在不是你的回合537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBBEKeQcjv
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRr3A5opdin
537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHJJySaJQG
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