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第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuf8WtmOPT
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHr4DdY2Gm
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還沒有學會「接受」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFq4XKWCFNI
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接受現實432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxzdtBY7KD
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因為認為是屈服432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zXO9MV5LT
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感覺好像自己在投降432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMG9jyRUvR
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放棄一切432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KpBgupxtF
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRDXXBFfoB
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlqOFC6jPo
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認為是這樣子的狂妄432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfaEVDPFwT
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無他432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYaMjlSmeI
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說是愚痴也不過份432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZkDNFuL12
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只是她不相信432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUyurzhZxl
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懷疑432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41KKLH58Y6
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她⋯⋯432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xu2QlrIRW
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「⋯⋯」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHwDzKaR7S
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtviEd02gwE
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單單是想像也有夠不安432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dCodm0vJU
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEFITT7Hjt
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUO1At5gLVM
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唯一句432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ24hqe2PtR
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當局者迷，旁觀者清432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyy0voj3Qh
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4t6htyvlyw
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKUUeE2M63
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoalqsy2ZEm
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且不死，無法殺死432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡan5WpdUAG4
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人家已經很盡力了432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Gn9zAHFUU
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhB1q38HiB
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憤怒432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0jZsMKAtY
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWzVjaRsVP
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因為我沒有用432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOSLGsMWXD
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0iQwIVRqf
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKjPDzPhJ7
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2s4z4L9YE4
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uILbN0HwC
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHt1cny5O0U
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyH2FlWb2D
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxa8ZVpf6in
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnR0h51207H
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCsE1dC4u0
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKJSZqNRJO
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tL5UClKse
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDhwxgUoE0
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已經失眠了多久？432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ugPcQmJm8
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMusH025ysb
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIV76yPwF05
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aGjPfDwjP
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNNPxBcYgN
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo618tMgx37
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bMM1Uxgbn
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05KnRuKmel
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HSPmWBzGa
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5sezXUzdO
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlB6H4KhZ7
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBP57xJXa8Y
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——呀？
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嗯？432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04xAVG9Ei2
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lGBMWDsZf
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpKRgUIvk2
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMwS2KeAT4
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7TGb34PaA
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76agtGWyqx
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnmBwXhpQS
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zGW0fgEFG
我也想活下去
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvY4ssefq6
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡag4oqBMWKf
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqmsVkffKS
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5l2EvQ0ozm
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKB5k1qSkS
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPgZcclaEc
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qyHJTEzX1
或是說，我不希望⋯432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrPslSYNUD
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4MlOZbTSt
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ217wGIBsm7
⋯⋯432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUgRL61SYk
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDAPqhtChJ
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm83JEcyR7h
對不起432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7SMRDmmD8
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7LWN55n15
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtG0NHBLHT
我也希望自己⋯432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1R4V4ibglE
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsW0KpLGE4G
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsFQut1gtg
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjFsOAVfT6
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpJcdDJ4Sp
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskdP35k8xY
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBcLuOY41D
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMckROJ03g
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDl8o6E1k8t
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoOceL6OEi
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGjuiaj9cy
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEJshHvkSx
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKVo1g6UeU
「⋯⋯嗯」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutmgwOnEyR
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2DTiBOXVS
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlnqkvjawG
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PIOFckd3q
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sj1Sl3gwN
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMNW7Bug4O
「⋯⋯」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqczODzeYfp
「真的」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sNeHVGVfm
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvA39j8rW4
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeLDMqrUkq
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOD6BPSCLN
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡra8oCZhnBk
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb26XlbrItq
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjr4ukVQakv
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlQxz11SDO
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3r50QUZkT
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmkHOTgM2b
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKfC87fE0R
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotlyHN77Xx
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjV96VnJBb
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvQahV2PQZ
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPd67kllltK
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LPsanf5cA
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQr715j3wp
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5cO3jsKJx
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRLxkwIVqj
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVunITrM8s
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJWmbkDirp
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdFupIru4q
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HjNo5dmTe
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLoRqkodqi
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMQ2OfbnXJ
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTrxnfvejn
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKixSuVeAQZ
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUT9pjrzp0z
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoclEkbbUc
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq17dBauEx3
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGeFTl1UB0
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYdGMp31Zm
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6XEfU1N3g
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3De4ToCjZ0
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hZ1Xo8C0V
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhN9Yi0tK2f
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eVh96gXYD
最後一記，最強烈
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3itibmj4h
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlGX6a5nO2
「⋯哈啊⋯」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62O6pBBQ8S
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zM5WZsuBq
鬆口，直至其手到胸口432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GwUtJWhXp
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJKV4Tz7EZ
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOVyA8WtVa
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5oXZCN73e
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7Yxt3Q1sp
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORDoz33pqv
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dhYbetq8E
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEcDjeDi3g
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwY4iPBLhG
「⋯啊？」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgYmoIU8QI
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UQ2qORgDi
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocnhktadgx
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvMeJnvFPj
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVOzlvVKAN
「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFIxA9Mxyh
「等、等等」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUUovCFPN3
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflHL7uuWoh
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnB3QYuWw5
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRW7ludpMHS
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaquKdlBnOR
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBWwXu981a
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHAf6PoHVd
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JeB3TcTBM
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBV36mtefhb
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTMnuTr3k2
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgs7K9iR1c
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW962ftZViO
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIz1LmoUDL
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxZmGNZqEM
好痛
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432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRtYuI6Em2
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0LBHRkeZp
但會有人在意嗎？
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnokBAzaDNN
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JjNlOkPHe
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAYp3kROkp
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmGDI17Of8
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0tOuuqXCB
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CmRzzNoHH
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2USy43Yxp2
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMYFFz8EJi
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu81rXXjCST
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ053h7Z3Lxi
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBVIgabNU9
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzH1nlnWjY
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLA4Ax1nzEu
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNav4YsKsnP
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvOkXxdkoX
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppjFpW8CoU
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvMfayXDhk
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoJk4EcoPI
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxy0vpnkD9
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrur4cwG7o6
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVb8hQUuhVW
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNG039mjQv
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAx2IsheQP
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0xAE9gP4m
比較下，條件不由自己定
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfs6oeVJQgD
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59yB20e5iR
我沒有選擇權432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzVvsytXX3
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpJDorYYB9
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6y8tBaZh1
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92WU4dokcx
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnMDZpYakY
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7gk8U0wLO
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4RvZFbhIv
明白嗎？432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsmu8qL43Z
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7emAvKp8I
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwqeoPJdk4
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Vkn1CFch1
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1KDPdJsRc
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHn7fUuwUA1
若世界更溫柔的話——
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432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFDDL8kkRI
不可能432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpsAVMRFTL
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWthwCm9mG
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxM6ItYRp3G
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dlqZbpuTj
什麼也沒有432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhpuvZTyxw
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1QKe2ko6k
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUEcPJt1EH
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGk9BsHfUS
在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPC1XvFMAP
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4QpBXZ2lB
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfIwlufpwL
當然432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5i4CrELvK
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBEysQZfFV
絕對
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbSqba2pma
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRtF8O50Xp
不想432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ewIGaAAZT
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT45uS12ydL
但始終，真的太辛苦了432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnTBHqdArj
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqJrEvXF1Y
⋯⋯432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGx3xcl2aa
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBUwMEm3uV
思考真的太辛苦了432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIkhAekmlw
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYdKB6QegE
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZw8fjkzjx
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24LUzWf9Ct
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPZJllHiDk
「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogHdJHqDji
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGoiGs6nlT
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxA9Q2T2sfk
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZFQQO8Xrh
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNjxuBWaHE
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5nLYOSLaL
「⋯⋯對不起」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3z32ByKPg
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SGPRONA6x
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmw0DPRKJq9
「嗯⋯」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHizKIu1Yet
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ib6schq4H
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYv4g4Wi6Vd
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVqe1SWIcd
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IZJJoAoDD
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmmZ9ZX0KK
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTP5emKUAlN
「忠誠致赤雨之日」432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxaA9pK52mz
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2M52xUpgEu
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWst0tT8Zor
女孩說道
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8Ekm4Sbkt
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpM041E4FVN
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscmpangmsC
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQXtu0sJ2C
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROwHFgmVP2
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAYg8QuS5Q
是女孩的指示432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKA2rMpsnU
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnNVE3TNDu
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlweRVaB2OM
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4mIclzxnr
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMzA65xUKO
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsWiLdg1ke
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QLxkcJrCu
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaIsTHtnRH
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkVGKwB4km
直至最後能看見的——432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SF6MRkFbg
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECXy8V1DgC
也不存在
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlp79hcF9A
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVM0JxcAQgw
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVrbeARnJY
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YUaxmqkd8
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbdj6V4Oav
但無法辨認432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukXeymMZi4
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhC2rN18cDU
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejjPigyCeV
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eOfGu8iYn
黑暗將自己包圍432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2PHu0Kat4
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RscqekWei
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRB0SQXrM8h
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1n42culTw
不知多久了432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkleZtb3VFW
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡus3V0JvF8k
在那時開始432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0js7pU6MT
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sWFueqZlT
那裏432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYYGkWSvWA
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQt09eO2bnU
但有些事情〇〇
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGMpg1KnOb
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTnYQZCeS9
〇〇〇432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYwxlgSARs
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgvlCVX8pm
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbWCuSxW3X
〇〇〇〇〇〇432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLchpTxhVRl
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8lw0B6F0R
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lGj1OYWbV
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZL9DO72zs
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvkUDLpI9P
現在不是你的回合432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXRUlptPxt
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78G4xrVZzs
432Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2LHz4H4bW
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