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第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2GhNvxpkj
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVXvoWe3Ic
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還沒有學會「接受」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AAexEhBCJ
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接受現實487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCb3f66QLp
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因為認為是屈服487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5mhzEjK7Q
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感覺好像自己在投降487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0YmckAyh0
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放棄一切487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrCPYduWol
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ807drIGX6e
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvvdQJiT8i
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認為是這樣子的狂妄487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyrwxYGVPg
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無他487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lNb1Cbdol
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說是愚痴也不過份487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ER8gHQAs1
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只是她不相信487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dULuXhHl4
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懷疑487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8Pxcg2o6p
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她⋯⋯487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡce4JozQhpM
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「⋯⋯」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAhi65W9iR
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCJJWlxgUG
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單單是想像也有夠不安487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwceI675Jar
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ThTTRxcx3
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5UajITxcd
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唯一句487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vGT1Dsizs
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當局者迷，旁觀者清487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX79dIVmVs4
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQs8W3G1V1z
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLgQHj1ioE
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNP4BOrS7D
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且不死，無法殺死487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauKdGE2Ese
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——————487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BGKL5DweV
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人家已經很盡力了487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHNpH1zB6H
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ctroFJBtp
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憤怒487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGzXS7Le7W
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOml3Gv86E
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因為我沒有用487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Hq1dW9oFm
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDwiW2tGr0
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkHxJmaDAi
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOIu8nkY4u
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0TvzN2F1j
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlYXI4jANM
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ABOxqWXOK
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLSF6Ptzip
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsQu0qq8SV
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTq37XRmup9
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YeWHDdNEd
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAv40sGzzSp
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVa9m5KnLXo
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已經失眠了多久？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpa1amnbOHR
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqs74KCeuLN
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKXtKMjlPh
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiYd1VsAMs
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JublJR4GS
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BlrvfXI96
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZvN7F6VF1
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BBQtThSFK
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKX0RFnthS
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIAKYsiM8z
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo93xVd5U3w
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsOcMm9SVW
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——呀？
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嗯？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEE62kXN5n7
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又是這樣
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPyzkk2942
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0kM4UBZv1
難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjxb0cTtqL
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yATsxmv8o
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpYHqY1mCu
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMePz0wNnK
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykGZ248qhH
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTuhfp4rQA
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxpEPN8y69
我也想活下去
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRzRjzKZWp
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XvA1Wpbsm
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6PMBAeLDO
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRThPoWaOC
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmCE9KBzlA
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPGAPH91Wn
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuTXbRjYkT
或是說，我不希望⋯487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDocgMKJAwa
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dsWL5O0y1
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3dPhxJok3
⋯⋯487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYtovbsBqX
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJRQc8YDw3
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSWJy4vCAP
對不起487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZvWTYsctq
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD16QrwNZdL
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSV3emMCxlV
我也希望自己⋯487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvT1XGsQbH
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGYdZhRRpC
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDLer7aCRC
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0469fneGnu
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxT1V4rclUU
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8inE8dKjy
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tZUtCRRa4
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAorOFbOD2
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDuLNb3cJY
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZUiJf4SuL
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qXGxt70Bp
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzekg6GD9Sk
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ864jE5GQag
「⋯⋯嗯」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4DgiDmMcu
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboXaaoGXid
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZJEEVpqxt
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgKGYg8l7G
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76YVOvVUjL
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8MqGN8q99
「⋯⋯」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eD7aEL5ma
「真的」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqdL4HC4wd
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡby1lxRWqw3
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTStgvN29z
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQ36xeGQf4
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5EqXykcUO
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWLzNhgpDh
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMcIVniZHy
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUzWuoQnEX
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagA6a4WW3I
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6oJociQ3p
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VLuZdxTeS
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSp3REwS55s
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkcE5sIeZc
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSCHhmAfMk
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZWij9l92b
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3bQRgUcv5
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx65cy3fFK3
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Qb2dc850v
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEAFt8SFjH
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyFrVw9HiP
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTqpoZME56
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvnHunYFX0
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhKXCiAHgY
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZhyuJvTCV
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOZ2PYkuZ2
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRx8hgFdR07
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm83Kb3XDX
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5aJSuclyt
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFlfn3oNuc
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HlfNf4abe
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLMC6JphPb
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XamnggoWU
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMZcjmqVHM
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutD6RU7u11
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjwVEATk5c
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADFsUPqYnu
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡec2pYy1qsQ
最後一記，最強烈
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczeDfoULd0
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtL3xwBBU0u
「⋯哈啊⋯」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVlbE9pgKX
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoyDhiesSX
鬆口，直至其手到胸口487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOF6Vgq79O
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eSBROAQnB
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbf5v9HMdn
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yY94kAmLe
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4oAvRyJcU
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQQB0Eswc8
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmnotNWbEn
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuaewHIfWb
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3l7ghWvTd
「⋯啊？」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdytcobNL14
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFTX97Mkxg
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2riPLXezaG
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uWiH8w7We
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3yCYP47MK
「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOn3BxUUJmH
「等、等等」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHylthDyoy
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOJ3amRx6n
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCFzUHfo0Q
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpm47VQrBAd
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6J4P4IMWGJ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5E6JxQlqd
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMt2QwXXGXy
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wnxBNIss0
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqMi5pkRrW
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbqimk9s5G
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhmJ2CG7b5
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWz0RTbMW2
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmwxxZh6Jx
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFGdDk56RE
好痛
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcA8L5nUp85
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78rE40t8RW
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJbo6I4CIo
但會有人在意嗎？
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVNC6lh8Qe
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1gjo1PPpl
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuofh1Tg0S
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLPvXhe7k4
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0g5mBAVhle
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgu1oxUDX3O
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6R3knCnJ9w
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPIGgP0Sq6
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHW7mByLvI
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd296M4BaiA
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifg39yRRWd
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQc85YdR1h
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0lZqGHVX3
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4Aly16shn
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRII2CxPAz
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiBra7NFsA
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DmDwNwWwn
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53gt8H2eme
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OzYFAv1iu
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpHMTgAQED
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJ6PamP8Q1
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xwCpRP1DY
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxQtLzn9K3
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJRGUUQEnj
比較下，條件不由自己定
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdP3ntPqPs
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4mM02CLfe
我沒有選擇權487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIwxMJy3nJ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5nUGrO04A
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7r9GXEXS0W
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTf5kfTWBh
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwSJzmQ15a
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQtyU413zN
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVBClQwXrX
明白嗎？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3usHnCpeT
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5TXZsmRZS
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrYVMryyHG
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiedh7GsIT6
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMacgJ3phCL
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7vmYjOpfL
若世界更溫柔的話——
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKjw2rF1XR
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJH3HY5yCL
不可能487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jFIWnbfJF
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeb1pxEvTP9
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusajACMg0h
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGhBf5b6BV
什麼也沒有487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOrpgY0lqI
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUN0duQrTF
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3lCDnguLp
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxUq6dC0Fc
在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpKCQ9ZZh9
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxpZOH2vXK
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgF7r5mVpo2
當然487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshPok5gtJ9
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUMCiIW4A1
絕對
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfm5SqgkX9
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSv2eJiOpc8
不想487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynTUth3afH
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbETi7ddj2
但始終，真的太辛苦了487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WrWRl5USi
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsuuimWP0l
⋯⋯487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKgLSqdq4x
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTRBOnM68E
思考真的太辛苦了487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡef2g90MnQn
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdaUv5ZTJX
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06YWJ1r0Sl
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgU4iFc61gh
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXCDyvTJEH
「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfx65m1tIb
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibYRlRbB1T
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28Dee4IPxy
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV27PbXtnNa
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFWlwANd5n
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIP81x74np
「⋯⋯對不起」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfblE0PsND
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTb8PHe8bn
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNXyJf12xI
「嗯⋯」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSgGPnVh1p
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrta9VNXKw0
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVAuCK1rIn
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgnzarV0WP
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ031XoKWu6O
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mz9nSjJPg
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ze9L8GJBa
「忠誠致赤雨之日」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKfYibFjVM
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3xapzP3YP
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMILBOce6r
女孩說道
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6u1f8bMAJ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LWTKG7Zpn
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPV83gjqGYT
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIg1bfk3RT
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpD6Odhhk1E
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0744Mgo7O
是女孩的指示487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzghSTDjlXB
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzEl6fgPzR
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Sd6u4aimb
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQq98YZGsc1
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2tD5tiKZ1
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2e3yg812WF
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBYHjlQwmv
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbNVwMjZMx
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4WUuIqwxz
直至最後能看見的——487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIsM0xHTG4
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQm2x4akOu
也不存在
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2QNLEfqK0
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUuIqsBlsF
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XUlNTq9gr
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJL4z0v9jEr
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19I6fPkQRO
但無法辨認487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHNz7zmMoZ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuByx1QJzuw
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7akpAnOD1S
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7diVUZb9ia
黑暗將自己包圍487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0C449KM79o
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRl38P4XswS
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiyzqKGDKM
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgO360jVmE
不知多久了487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXtrThjiut
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRbs9VAtjn
在那時開始487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RbTr6YQe6
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbl9OzizFg
那裏487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLNkYGFTfQ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTpDCuIX3e
但有些事情〇〇
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMf2WmSxkcP
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIHP9AkHPY
〇〇〇487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlRmjS9Sxc
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHS5cKXfVh
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdYLv8O3kD
〇〇〇〇〇〇487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqspM03Aipz
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5msMuOd6B8
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaYSAHrmui
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JemA7GaI2
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdv8FGdsxd
現在不是你的回合487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZc7nMjOYsi
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqw2KF9OTl
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtNHHR0tR5
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