
封面:270Please respect copyright.PENANAsFWWDvKK9O
ミクさん | 笹ノ葉
https://www.pixiv.net/artworks/92347265270Please respect copyright.PENANAzIwvD4D0gg
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EP 15 昏睡的頑念成詛咒270Please respect copyright.PENANAafE7aZIwNN
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「我的初衷就是感性啊!」270Please respect copyright.PENANAcJb4cU9nsM
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忽然,一道強烈的綠光從窗外照進這幽暗的房間,照在你的身上
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這綠色是和你那對眼睛同一顏色的
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「生命力」,有些人會這樣說
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爱麗絲的綠瞳是充滿生氣的,是大自然的綠,是自然母親的淚珠,裏頭足以蘊藏一個世界,那對眼是生命的象徵
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但其實,所謂的「生命力」究竟是什麼?
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只是恐懼的倒影、害怕的表現270Please respect copyright.PENANA53NtK6cBcC
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生命很矛盾,因為生命本身就很脆弱,面對更強大的生命,弱小的生命會被奪去
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的確,是自然的綠,但大地母親對待生命,一點也不溫柔
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這裏有著弱肉強食、適者生存的規條,有物競天擇這般的運作模式
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所謂的生命力,只是反映他人心中的不安
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因為自然母親從不溫柔270Please respect copyright.PENANALY3ffoSXXR
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因為面對生命以上的精神時,生命是一個下等的存在270Please respect copyright.PENANATXE5NZm1zV
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面對頑念的你,根本毫無還手之力
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縱使你能夠令這個世界決裂
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那怕爱麗絲的你多麼反抗這一切也好
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這也是你信奉的所有
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若然如此,你可以殺死自己嗎?
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你可以殺死你的堅持嗎?
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看呀,你根本不能
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你不會改變
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所以
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你才無法擺脫這個世界啊
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人偶的你,又一次展開了千遍一律收場的鬧劇
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你不能叫醒裝睡的人270Please respect copyright.PENANAif7MoAO1yX
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人偶的你以鞋跟狠踏房間的木地板,一道純白色的裂痕在夢境中崩決,將兩者從記憶的碎片分離
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與你,一起回到「仙境」
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純白的空間是代表仙境未至,但當到達仙境之時,這場玩笑終將完結
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經歷過這麼多次的你,理所當然也知道這道理
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所以你把握時間,勢要做出改變
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不可能的轉變
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房間的碎片四散,你站在漸漸飄在上方的碎塊,猛然一躍
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綠色的光彩,似乎稍微褪色了,畢竟棕黑的熱力,在你的心中佔著優勢
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你大腦中,荷爾蒙和腎上腺數的濃度很高,腦電波的波幅很大,血清素的分泌被壓抑了,腦汁中有兒茶酚胺的味道
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那一點也不甜,以親嚐而言,是苦的
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為什麼,總不可以一切甜甜蜜蜜
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你的意志,使你的身體和這個世界分開了少許,因為你否定自己爱麗絲的身份,你的力量弱了
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很多
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你分不清你要攻擊的對象在那
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在夢境這種跨維度世界中,若然你不是當中的住人,你移動也成困難
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這空間尤如太空,無重力、實察質量、絕對次元
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你迷失了
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你忘記了為什麼要選擇甜味
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苦才不是甘甜
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只是辛苦的苦
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人偶的你著落在校園的天台上,和你相視直望,你想也沒想地跑過來,尖鋭的凶剎不該是人偶口腔內應有的存在
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所以你撞了在光板圍欄上,恨不得趁會死亡的衝擊力足以在額骨上留下一道裂痕,以及讓你上門牙兩顆移位
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血液滴滴流出,你慌張了,因為痛楚不是預測這樣出現,而是頭著地之時
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還好,反正始終你也在這幾年,在社會上死去了,學業中自殺了
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你感到氣流,是強風,颶風
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龍捲的氣流拉著你的禮裙,扯著那把顏色逐漸無趣的頭髮
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曾經,你蠢到甚至渴望有誰會欺凌你
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可是沒人在乎
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因為大家都可憐你
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可憐你的無能
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為你的悲劇感到哀愁
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認為你是一個受害者
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認為你是世界不健康的部份
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不該和你干涉
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在你面前,大家都表演得各自清門前雪,因為他們不想做壞人
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他們不想承認這個病態的社會
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宿主的存在是多麼危險
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他們要「人性化」
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他們要信條主義、儀式化
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因為他們不希望承認這個世界並不完美
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因為他們不想承認他們的恐懼
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他們不想死
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被宿主
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龍捲風的強力拉著你,你拼命跑,不知道方向,不知道如何
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在夢中,你逃跑,在現實中,你連跑的機會也沒有
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被這扭曲空間的旋渦吸收的,是來自夢境世界的
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是四次元的方塊,是銀色的水珠鏈,是巨大的書本,差點打中你頭頂的貨車
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學校的桌子、垃圾桶、家中的櫃子,唯一陪伴你的光明
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很多很多,你有印象的,但丟走了背後意思、其名字的夢,碎片
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這些碎片從四方八面而來,從你看不到的方向飛來,有些憑空出現,也有些到你面前時消失
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有些會改變形狀,有些外表的顏色會轉變,有些,你也不知道如何形容,你感覺到它在改變著什麼,但你不知道確實的內容,只是知道,那改變令你由厭惡,感到害怕
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這些碎片,迎面而來,你要衝過這一切並不容易
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尤如突破玻璃碎片一樣
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這些碎片割傷了人形的外殼和禮服
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痛楚是應該的,因為流出的,已經不只是樹膠,而是紅色的
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真是失禮
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你跌了下去,因為地板的碎片,也成為了龍捲風的目標
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你看著這把紫色的頭髮,隨重力下墜
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