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桜犬 |【偶然】
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EP 27 阿孟293Please respect copyright.PENANAQBsDQ5xv5U
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在來到這處前,所有的記憶是多麼的奇怪,應該說真正的現況是已經自我麻痺了,已經擁抱了一切不正確與怪異為常態,回看人生,感到奇怪
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自己是多麼的奇怪,那麼的矛盾
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成熟為目標發展,但盡在做些和之違背的事情,單純為了幼稚十分的動機
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所謂「臉子、尊嚴」
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但我相信,當時冷靜地思考的話,必定不會犯蠢,我的下場,不是被老師他弄到差點宿主化,不是把事情弄到那麼大,不會讓大哥派組織的那瘋女人手下,來湊小朋友的自己,清理後事,我一時智商斷線的問題,我允許感性支配自己的導致
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很可笑,仔細回想,姐姐她沒有説錯,沒有罵錯
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『人要臉,樹要皮,臉子是別人給,丟架(失去臉子),只是自己的錯』
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追求一些下賤又無聊的事端,去彌補無法填補的錯過,一些作為大人應負責任的表現
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在之前,即佐島、水無月假設說,大和帶人進攻此處,姐姐她來,是來殺我的,有一部分的自己確信那聽上去荒謬絕倫的話
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因為一直以來都是負累的我,並不能幫上她任何忙,還叫她擔心
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明明背負更多的女強人有著更不能想像的壓力,我作為其親妹還如此自私,甚至早幾年的時間 ——
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我的狂妄,令大和家族的腦袋和魂魄要困在鐵欄之後,一人獨自承擔我的責任
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失望透頂,探監時的她沒有完全表現出來也好,我感覺到
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也許不表現出來的原因,為她失望到一個絕點之故,並在計劃如何除掉我,這紙老虎吧
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她的性格而言,不是沒可能
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曾經,我以為她最信任的大哥,姐姐她也可以為組織,而犧牲一個不但忠誠,且是知己的骨幹,為的就是⋯
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為的就是⋯讓敵對組織⋯放過當時處下風的組織⋯⋯還有放過我⋯
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是復仇吧
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她恨不得把我交給瘋女人吧
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當然
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要不然呢?
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為了什麼?
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少女⋯依奈子那時可以讓我死去,把亂跑離開組織保鑣,還正宿主化的我交給KDUL,現在的我便不會⋯
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可是又為了什麼?我嘗試問自己所謂的原因,也設問、假定一些她會回覆的可能性
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只是單純的「覺得」
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拜託
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別開玩笑了
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我 ⋯
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「我也已經不想再孤單一人了」293Please respect copyright.PENANAXiH7eKRBr7
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不過你的孤單,比我更深吧
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依奈子
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你是如何知道如何的?
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不過,你會反問我吧
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就像這樣
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「吶?」293Please respect copyright.PENANA10RFwFaXOp
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但願您是對的293Please respect copyright.PENANAomFjkQZ9LQ
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