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8964 copyright protection140PENANAFnovSzQvBh 維尼
〈心火〉8964 copyright protection140PENANAiq6OIxTXIy 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANA5rRn1ayUTe
8964 copyright protection140PENANACJ7dhhon8k 維尼
放上茶壺,妳彎腰8964 copyright protection140PENANAhEOD1Y6Wmk 維尼
轉動瓦斯爐的8964 copyright protection140PENANA98qOP2CoTz 維尼
旋鈕,藍色火焰照例8964 copyright protection140PENANA7iz6YzzRAT 維尼
開出一朵花8964 copyright protection140PENANAxEpSlugdzo 維尼
燻暖了妳的臉8964 copyright protection140PENANAMUPNt1qQGP 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAk7TXlbXoQr
8964 copyright protection140PENANAvxmlPfkV6c 維尼
但,心是冷的8964 copyright protection140PENANAned50Qw50N 維尼
比多年前他等在校門口8964 copyright protection140PENANAvBzPEKH4tA 維尼
抵受的寒風8964 copyright protection140PENANAZyam7Xthmq 維尼
還要凜冽8964 copyright protection140PENANAyONRDGJDmW 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAcI34zgB3hJ
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曾經是學校人人8964 copyright protection140PENANAjfuCu6skN8 維尼
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獎牌和光環掛在8964 copyright protection140PENANAdPjxpcoilR 維尼
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如今是全家個個8964 copyright protection140PENANAl6HT3y8jHV 維尼
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前世情人,甜甜蜜蜜8964 copyright protection140PENANAWZQIFd0VWM 維尼
妳冷眼看著一切8964 copyright protection140PENANAGAIqkLk0D6 維尼
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144Please respect copyright.PENANA9odXs8hIkM
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都說同性相斥8964 copyright protection140PENANA6NTKlXW94X 維尼
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奇數難以均分,妳8964 copyright protection140PENANAH5K8GWGZzl 維尼
總是落單的這位8964 copyright protection140PENANAFxl4HFYLHc 維尼
永遠插不進8964 copyright protection140PENANAGkwFnn9hu5 維尼
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她複製妳的輪廓8964 copyright protection140PENANAwXAOH2WFhu 維尼
卻更加精美8964 copyright protection140PENANApdhPpqt1nR 維尼
時間尚未發功8964 copyright protection140PENANAwSsytUwgOP 維尼
纖巧身材,讓人憐愛8964 copyright protection140PENANAQvCE3WSliY 維尼
還有瞇瞇笑的桃花眼8964 copyright protection140PENANAVkkCro0ANy 維尼
天真無邪的8964 copyright protection140PENANAhRFjfVSEIA 維尼
舌頭和乳頭8964 copyright protection140PENANAyN4rQFU09q 維尼
自以為可愛的演示8964 copyright protection140PENANAyVevy9YNDG 維尼
淫蕩的動作8964 copyright protection140PENANARlelKpc16n 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAaZD2uEmW87
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開水在燒8964 copyright protection140PENANAhJcNv7CqeG 維尼
爐火在烤8964 copyright protection140PENANA84w1nOES8a 維尼
妳湊近火前8964 copyright protection140PENANAZ6w6qdph06 維尼
低頭看著自己8964 copyright protection140PENANATHyPAbrH2h 維尼
臃腫是產下她的8964 copyright protection140PENANAkqP8x2wZPr 維尼
代價,皺紋是8964 copyright protection140PENANAHprbdOEKBY 維尼
管教她的反作用力8964 copyright protection140PENANAnt5Uxf74jn 維尼
燥烈焦燎8964 copyright protection140PENANACwOSk7prrA 維尼
標籤著妳的後半生8964 copyright protection140PENANAO3SFy5qy2P 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAczPweNB2V6
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昨晚尤劇,他和她8964 copyright protection140PENANACQOfy3SFZ9 維尼
討論什麼生涯規劃8964 copyright protection140PENANArBt1VkucTL 維尼
「我要當作家!!」8964 copyright protection140PENANAOTVEx4tycb 維尼
她大嚷,拿著全校什麼什麼獎8964 copyright protection140PENANAlsa0zfzgov 維尼
的獎狀,在妳面前晃8964 copyright protection140PENANAivejzAP2f9 維尼
妳移開視線,分不清8964 copyright protection140PENANAVhwAQOnCuY 維尼
是羨慕,還是嫉妒8964 copyright protection140PENANAxeF3eA9Pv6 維尼
所有感覺凝成火種8964 copyright protection140PENANAYr6IT8S1yH 維尼
在心裡跳盪8964 copyright protection140PENANAmEDYhEHeiY 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAlk3HNGngcc
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妳忘了後面怎樣,只記得8964 copyright protection140PENANABICl1kMQ4l 維尼
撕成片片的紙張——8964 copyright protection140PENANAkHmcqGpjdT 維尼
那些曾經是獎狀嗎?8964 copyright protection140PENANA83n7CqBAjA 維尼
罵聲轟隆8964 copyright protection140PENANATI8FtKn5vt 維尼
哭聲嘹亮8964 copyright protection140PENANAonnKoeHJ8I 維尼
還有尖銳汽笛聲響8964 copyright protection140PENANALDKUNhLheR 維尼
是誰按下通往不歸路列車的8964 copyright protection140PENANAN1uvBXyBbG 維尼
喇叭???8964 copyright protection140PENANALH8nEMaiTD 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAx1yKAh5hnz
8964 copyright protection140PENANA5NxfCu9Mhk 維尼
⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯8964 copyright protection140PENANAzuadlAGlkX 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAD4fysWWBnw
8964 copyright protection140PENANArHPlJ9cGqz 維尼
直到一切全然熄定8964 copyright protection140PENANAOwlDF1jZGe 維尼
妳發現自己不在8964 copyright protection140PENANAdITEt8Cuk1 維尼
那個名為「家」的領域8964 copyright protection140PENANALpm4FIU8vs 維尼
而是四面白牆的囹圄8964 copyright protection140PENANAiZapvVLcvZ 維尼
鋪棉牆壁看似溫煦8964 copyright protection140PENANAtZYIFV3Gj8 維尼
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用意8964 copyright protection140PENANAJ8AflOWOZa 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANA0Fn5RXVta5
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發生什麼事?8964 copyright protection140PENANAKe9wctjXFU 維尼
斷片許久的妳8964 copyright protection140PENANA1IFP9ktH4k 維尼
開始一點一滴8964 copyright protection140PENANAEF6ddUWXve 維尼
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144Please respect copyright.PENANAi7c7V3BLym
8964 copyright protection140PENANAvCebBR7ahg 維尼
她捧著碎紙哭泣8964 copyright protection140PENANA92Z99UbNcg 維尼
他對著妳發脾氣8964 copyright protection140PENANAct58n17W35 維尼
妳雙膝著地,不停8964 copyright protection140PENANAVpazdv70Vm 維尼
對他們倆尖聲說著8964 copyright protection140PENANAPhPJezx9IN 維尼
對不起對不起對不起8964 copyright protection140PENANADIpr5W18i5 維尼
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8964 copyright protection140PENANAZpgY12L8fG 維尼
炎焱似乎已經平息8964 copyright protection140PENANA9xn7F1lMEQ 維尼
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8964 copyright protection140PENANAklb520jtlu 維尼
第二天,那對男女8964 copyright protection140PENANAjuNAWFTDiI 維尼
裝作沒事,一道外出8964 copyright protection140PENANANkaFZYAAiX 維尼
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回家後,三人聊天8964 copyright protection140PENANADIZVsM5diC 維尼
愉快啜飲妳開小火8964 copyright protection140PENANAznhxIfvGQV 維尼
煮的水泡的茶8964 copyright protection140PENANAFpIRyvST2b 維尼
然後⋯⋯8964 copyright protection140PENANAyusJXkbRg3 維尼
然候⋯⋯8964 copyright protection140PENANAji6meiL1HX 維尼
然後⋯⋯8964 copyright protection140PENANAxmAl9eQ8Sc 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAOYaJvURFRR
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再也沒有然後了8964 copyright protection140PENANAsD88PjmBwp 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAkl9wgWYXya
8964 copyright protection140PENANAKkEBO8HkpT 維尼
妳在四堵白牆裡,默默看著8964 copyright protection140PENANA4P1RPyCtDt 維尼
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溫水煮青蛙的自己8964 copyright protection140PENANARkSvUD3CWq 維尼
被心火焚燬的自己8964 copyright protection140PENANAbrtm5IJgSt 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAmlDpimCP1C
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摸出一瓶OOO的妳8964 copyright protection140PENANAt8nw5slVbF 維尼
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倒入安靜的液體8964 copyright protection140PENANAR6lw7NlFQE 維尼
同時,側耳傾聽8964 copyright protection140PENANAlBUvgPmwlZ 維尼
等待,門鈴8964 copyright protection140PENANAOKKs69GRLE 維尼
即將響起。8964 copyright protection140PENANAWGMU9ufmQy 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAxL2EoWieEu
8964 copyright protection140PENANA0IeWDJA2lq 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAG54IolOzPk
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這首〈心火〉的寫作時間,正好在我想要轉變/增加詩風之際,所以腦洞和手法都跟我之前寫的新詩不大一樣,為此我還把《W. H. 新詩集》的分級,從 G 改成 PG-13。144Please respect copyright.PENANA44Q2Zupxuy
144Please respect copyright.PENANAv0g8ZOyHJp
這首詩,也可以改寫/擴寫成小說,但字數就不會這麼少,而且我個人認為,此詩悲哀的感覺會降低——小說其實不乏這種題材,但新詩好像還不多見,這也是我想嘗試這種題材的原因之一。144Please respect copyright.PENANAHrySgV887P
144Please respect copyright.PENANAPkBcZFFt8U
〈心火〉大概半個月前寫成 (我查 Google 文件版本紀錄,09/30 初稿,目前是第五版),我覺得還有修改的空間,描述還是太直白了,可以更「詩」一點,但也可能將敘述弄得更複雜,修不修訂,就再說吧。8964 copyright protection140PENANAFrujfXphXP 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAbIg0TYmdAJ
8964 copyright protection140PENANAvWoshs6Qby 維尼
~~~~我是分隔線~~~~8964 copyright protection140PENANAxzuiL4Oe0v 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAk8tetxsvvZ
8964 copyright protection140PENANAhaXPTzxdBw 維尼
〈心火〉是我舉辦的創挑「來寫OO詩 ⑦:故事詩」的示範作,上架之後,有讀者給了我一些反饋,我覺得很受用,也對其回應 (註):8964 copyright protection140PENANAHTXsFlVcrm 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAmsX3AfoLEu
8964 copyright protection140PENANAIoKWqpM5AH 維尼
(註):上開文字也是我對另一位讀者的回應,有經過修改。8964 copyright protection140PENANAVlIlus1oe7 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANANCmtg2CDfB
8964 copyright protection140PENANA4uITDB8e3p 維尼
「你的腦洞比我大啊~144Please respect copyright.PENANAcYTcoFsdaA
144Please respect copyright.PENANAXyipW8zfkj
沒有到不倫,只是小小的齟齬,小小的摩擦,天天發生,會讓心裡的火苗越來越大,終至焚燬。144Please respect copyright.PENANA33PQH74vNs
144Please respect copyright.PENANAve216NZpF9
我詩末留有想像空間 (丈夫和女兒的後續,我沒寫出來,或許沒死~),但『妳』意圖毒殺丈夫和女兒,這件事是確定的。144Please respect copyright.PENANAztAdDeyFJ3
144Please respect copyright.PENANA3uDovrCJ6b
詩的跳躍性,包括時間軸 (毒殺在先,進精神病院在後,但這首詩先出現的是進精神病院,再用回憶帶出毒殺之事~也可以呼應『妳』的精神狀態已經錯亂),讓作者可以處理比較特殊的題材。144Please respect copyright.PENANAMdQXLfJGPr
144Please respect copyright.PENANAFTt9mljaBz
對了,不曉得你有沒有看過《爆漫王。》?如果根據主角之一秋犯的說法,這首詩算是『邪道』——我結語會提到,有興趣再來看看吧。」8964 copyright protection140PENANAtGBP8fkiH2 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAeFfN7XmIxE
8964 copyright protection140PENANA3hrz3XyhuA 維尼
〖出處〗(請見留言區)8964 copyright protection140PENANAaZFa3Gv3aw 維尼
https://www.penana.com/article/15318948964 copyright protection140PENANAbaCXC0NyED 維尼
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8964 copyright protection140PENANAe4jzRm2y0S 維尼
144Please respect copyright.PENANAIHsRQD0PRm
8964 copyright protection140PENANAudaMydTdSg 維尼
附圖原畫作者是 Akseli Gallen-Kallela (1865-1931)。作者去世70年以上,其著作財產權已經消滅,原畫圖檔屬於公有領域 (public domain),任何人均可使用。8964 copyright protection140PENANAWB7LLUKo6V 維尼
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