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No Plagiarism!mydRpltq7cKuEmW4mP8Zposted on PENANA 174Please respect copyright.PENANAK25gyOUE5e
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〈心火〉8964 copyright protection170PENANAEBETBr4UhQ 維尼
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放上茶壺,妳彎腰8964 copyright protection170PENANABiNcBKowP5 維尼
轉動瓦斯爐的8964 copyright protection170PENANAizxVVNHtgt 維尼
旋鈕,藍色火焰照例8964 copyright protection170PENANAAVfRwM8wOQ 維尼
開出一朵花8964 copyright protection170PENANAD4JpkUmJha 維尼
燻暖了妳的臉8964 copyright protection170PENANAVrdaDaQBbb 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAKHrb1xN0S4
8964 copyright protection170PENANA2vNKu6wu8j 維尼
但,心是冷的8964 copyright protection170PENANAwsertio8h3 維尼
比多年前他等在校門口8964 copyright protection170PENANAUNjxgaWNo6 維尼
抵受的寒風8964 copyright protection170PENANA2NeUcf4Q6q 維尼
還要凜冽8964 copyright protection170PENANAx1goaDd3gp 維尼
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8964 copyright protection170PENANALn0iDxd1nI 維尼
曾經是學校人人8964 copyright protection170PENANAGUg3J6Vcmc 維尼
稱羨的女文青8964 copyright protection170PENANANyhCOgQSVr 維尼
未來的大作家8964 copyright protection170PENANAbU8oPqoR2O 維尼
獎牌和光環掛在8964 copyright protection170PENANABX97ZF0FfF 維尼
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如今是全家個個8964 copyright protection170PENANAQ6OOZiOhQ6 維尼
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前世情人,甜甜蜜蜜8964 copyright protection170PENANACpm2WqU1oe 維尼
妳冷眼看著一切8964 copyright protection170PENANAEVJUURAJ94 維尼
視線如炬8964 copyright protection170PENANAuFS1eIEnix 維尼
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都說同性相斥8964 copyright protection170PENANAGXNRBplOXA 維尼
妳恨沒生個兒子8964 copyright protection170PENANAlWCeCmw11x 維尼
奇數難以均分,妳8964 copyright protection170PENANAaFEIKY12VM 維尼
總是落單的這位8964 copyright protection170PENANAlhQtLqIOrN 維尼
永遠插不進8964 copyright protection170PENANA79LdkYpEuG 維尼
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她複製妳的輪廓8964 copyright protection170PENANAoVNvVWVyDd 維尼
卻更加精美8964 copyright protection170PENANAgAtRulocTL 維尼
時間尚未發功8964 copyright protection170PENANAIPqelju2HY 維尼
纖巧身材,讓人憐愛8964 copyright protection170PENANAIbRO1HACCe 維尼
還有瞇瞇笑的桃花眼8964 copyright protection170PENANA0lA1BihDuO 維尼
天真無邪的8964 copyright protection170PENANAtFZQ4yxZng 維尼
舌頭和乳頭8964 copyright protection170PENANAvhWQxoZgqL 維尼
自以為可愛的演示8964 copyright protection170PENANAARDDyDUj8v 維尼
淫蕩的動作8964 copyright protection170PENANAnApdioeYpP 維尼
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開水在燒8964 copyright protection170PENANAZsYEsjpZCy 維尼
爐火在烤8964 copyright protection170PENANAUXJJiDKOON 維尼
妳湊近火前8964 copyright protection170PENANAslsubQ4DEJ 維尼
低頭看著自己8964 copyright protection170PENANAjvqdLUlcdE 維尼
臃腫是產下她的8964 copyright protection170PENANAZ54yK5sVRl 維尼
代價,皺紋是8964 copyright protection170PENANAIBBcOsLieC 維尼
管教她的反作用力8964 copyright protection170PENANANBFPdSkoR1 維尼
燥烈焦燎8964 copyright protection170PENANAzsEOz94oRb 維尼
標籤著妳的後半生8964 copyright protection170PENANAS5AlOxUzc0 維尼
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昨晚尤劇,他和她8964 copyright protection170PENANA3buexrzA5b 維尼
討論什麼生涯規劃8964 copyright protection170PENANA62gR2wZS3M 維尼
「我要當作家!!」8964 copyright protection170PENANAJrI0pUjUeT 維尼
她大嚷,拿著全校什麼什麼獎8964 copyright protection170PENANAL02QA7InPp 維尼
的獎狀,在妳面前晃8964 copyright protection170PENANAG3xEKxxYOu 維尼
妳移開視線,分不清8964 copyright protection170PENANAeKxhCYppxa 維尼
是羨慕,還是嫉妒8964 copyright protection170PENANAGDziSnObtj 維尼
所有感覺凝成火種8964 copyright protection170PENANA7mZXvlj5Dl 維尼
在心裡跳盪8964 copyright protection170PENANAjDv6tTY14b 維尼
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妳忘了後面怎樣,只記得8964 copyright protection170PENANAnzEBJaiRUQ 維尼
撕成片片的紙張——8964 copyright protection170PENANAXnL2VUJeu7 維尼
那些曾經是獎狀嗎?8964 copyright protection170PENANActiUpcGro3 維尼
罵聲轟隆8964 copyright protection170PENANAJIHqv6lSDO 維尼
哭聲嘹亮8964 copyright protection170PENANALGOZpzCHTk 維尼
還有尖銳汽笛聲響8964 copyright protection170PENANAbQtvL6eUz6 維尼
是誰按下通往不歸路列車的8964 copyright protection170PENANASs7Rhheq4v 維尼
喇叭???8964 copyright protection170PENANAP0t71du7lL 維尼
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⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯8964 copyright protection170PENANAeRmpWYfNNO 維尼
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8964 copyright protection170PENANAJ5od84ynUd 維尼
直到一切全然熄定8964 copyright protection170PENANAFthshNU4UC 維尼
妳發現自己不在8964 copyright protection170PENANAqE3y7MxUK0 維尼
那個名為「家」的領域8964 copyright protection170PENANACv1lz4zlWP 維尼
而是四面白牆的囹圄8964 copyright protection170PENANAQVBy089Z4u 維尼
鋪棉牆壁看似溫煦8964 copyright protection170PENANAKOzWrbcAC2 維尼
卻有認證妳「不正常」的8964 copyright protection170PENANAiwnS0FYeSb 維尼
用意8964 copyright protection170PENANAOxIE5RMtyK 維尼
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發生什麼事?8964 copyright protection170PENANAgksdQqwcML 維尼
斷片許久的妳8964 copyright protection170PENANAsgN4taa5Cl 維尼
開始一點一滴8964 copyright protection170PENANACBJaInCSKy 維尼
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她捧著碎紙哭泣8964 copyright protection170PENANAcqitkkn9OY 維尼
他對著妳發脾氣8964 copyright protection170PENANA2FXpG78gdd 維尼
妳雙膝著地,不停8964 copyright protection170PENANAVwj82QSuc8 維尼
對他們倆尖聲說著8964 copyright protection170PENANABGWtD9lMEH 維尼
對不起對不起對不起8964 copyright protection170PENANA949UmlIJqa 維尼
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炎焱似乎已經平息8964 copyright protection170PENANAEoMrecZCHY 維尼
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第二天,那對男女8964 copyright protection170PENANAoqD8HwvVQ2 維尼
裝作沒事,一道外出8964 copyright protection170PENANAAt4xGYHfC7 維尼
用餐,還幫妳外帶8964 copyright protection170PENANAjEj1vx7Kmt 維尼
回家後,三人聊天8964 copyright protection170PENANAC8r29vVyDC 維尼
愉快啜飲妳開小火8964 copyright protection170PENANAze7xjsKitr 維尼
煮的水泡的茶8964 copyright protection170PENANAkND89bXcif 維尼
然後⋯⋯8964 copyright protection170PENANA8AnBpJLQI0 維尼
然候⋯⋯8964 copyright protection170PENANAFr8rMCF6sA 維尼
然後⋯⋯8964 copyright protection170PENANATOyAWL0ikk 維尼
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再也沒有然後了8964 copyright protection170PENANAH8eX9L39xi 維尼
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妳在四堵白牆裡,默默看著8964 copyright protection170PENANA8oqV2pdLSV 維尼
在小火面前的自己8964 copyright protection170PENANANP5yptH8GT 維尼
溫水煮青蛙的自己8964 copyright protection170PENANAyhIcb6s8Yf 維尼
被心火焚燬的自己8964 copyright protection170PENANAyCssBJHgrL 維尼
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摸出一瓶OOO的妳8964 copyright protection170PENANA8qx8PlgKeJ 維尼
將茶壺蓋打開8964 copyright protection170PENANA1JmBBIhYWL 維尼
倒入安靜的液體8964 copyright protection170PENANAiJ7JILQlgY 維尼
同時,側耳傾聽8964 copyright protection170PENANADL4RXsgiP1 維尼
等待,門鈴8964 copyright protection170PENANA8ggYf5XUyq 維尼
即將響起。8964 copyright protection170PENANAz4R796FLYb 維尼
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這首〈心火〉的寫作時間,正好在我想要轉變/增加詩風之際,所以腦洞和手法都跟我之前寫的新詩不大一樣,為此我還把《W. H. 新詩集》的分級,從 G 改成 PG-13。174Please respect copyright.PENANA14pH6dSPrK
174Please respect copyright.PENANA7rclLFhloo
這首詩,也可以改寫/擴寫成小說,但字數就不會這麼少,而且我個人認為,此詩悲哀的感覺會降低——小說其實不乏這種題材,但新詩好像還不多見,這也是我想嘗試這種題材的原因之一。174Please respect copyright.PENANAwUvmTAQlxz
174Please respect copyright.PENANAyiAQ3xjnby
〈心火〉大概半個月前寫成 (我查 Google 文件版本紀錄,09/30 初稿,目前是第五版),我覺得還有修改的空間,描述還是太直白了,可以更「詩」一點,但也可能將敘述弄得更複雜,修不修訂,就再說吧。8964 copyright protection170PENANAUtyVIqKJve 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANA5BbNx7LxXE
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~~~~我是分隔線~~~~8964 copyright protection170PENANAmCDlrtPGiC 維尼
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〈心火〉是我舉辦的創挑「來寫OO詩 ⑦:故事詩」的示範作,上架之後,有讀者給了我一些反饋,我覺得很受用,也對其回應 (註):8964 copyright protection170PENANAi6AfoVBj6E 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAMh9BchgJ3J
8964 copyright protection170PENANAhnTZd0Yqfr 維尼
(註):上開文字也是我對另一位讀者的回應,有經過修改。8964 copyright protection170PENANAyNJN8spORU 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAhcGFtUfszW
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「你的腦洞比我大啊~174Please respect copyright.PENANA2KCnGGFZQq
174Please respect copyright.PENANA8C1kkI7yVP
沒有到不倫,只是小小的齟齬,小小的摩擦,天天發生,會讓心裡的火苗越來越大,終至焚燬。174Please respect copyright.PENANAPJLux7klVg
174Please respect copyright.PENANA1qM8c2bRTL
我詩末留有想像空間 (丈夫和女兒的後續,我沒寫出來,或許沒死~),但『妳』意圖毒殺丈夫和女兒,這件事是確定的。174Please respect copyright.PENANAHmCt9Bsq9f
174Please respect copyright.PENANAEhv55hLmFj
詩的跳躍性,包括時間軸 (毒殺在先,進精神病院在後,但這首詩先出現的是進精神病院,再用回憶帶出毒殺之事~也可以呼應『妳』的精神狀態已經錯亂),讓作者可以處理比較特殊的題材。174Please respect copyright.PENANADmBGfeWh7X
174Please respect copyright.PENANAxpv8pDwLkv
對了,不曉得你有沒有看過《爆漫王。》?如果根據主角之一秋犯的說法,這首詩算是『邪道』——我結語會提到,有興趣再來看看吧。」8964 copyright protection170PENANA3irohIAdUv 維尼
174Please respect copyright.PENANAoOeIwrjQFV
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〖出處〗(請見留言區)8964 copyright protection170PENANAhwFCxqrQVW 維尼
https://www.penana.com/article/15318948964 copyright protection170PENANAhIVaIOKZlS 維尼
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附圖原畫作者是 Akseli Gallen-Kallela (1865-1931)。作者去世70年以上,其著作財產權已經消滅,原畫圖檔屬於公有領域 (public domain),任何人均可使用。8964 copyright protection170PENANArJ2hNTHgPc 維尼
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