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8964 copyright protection139PENANA8uHseIWaw8 維尼
〈心火〉8964 copyright protection139PENANAgjpLXmbFuT 維尼
143Please respect copyright.PENANAx2ySIAzS0U
8964 copyright protection139PENANA65EwnoOd38 維尼
放上茶壺,妳彎腰8964 copyright protection139PENANAkrVEgbcBav 維尼
轉動瓦斯爐的8964 copyright protection139PENANAxT99pnB0Wl 維尼
旋鈕,藍色火焰照例8964 copyright protection139PENANAXddhAoCNQp 維尼
開出一朵花8964 copyright protection139PENANAX3OkTYOlZO 維尼
燻暖了妳的臉8964 copyright protection139PENANAdNm3joTztC 維尼
143Please respect copyright.PENANAf1Kw7j6m55
8964 copyright protection139PENANAZtI8htJbm4 維尼
但,心是冷的8964 copyright protection139PENANARXRwISHS2u 維尼
比多年前他等在校門口8964 copyright protection139PENANAIOZkgfFKHW 維尼
抵受的寒風8964 copyright protection139PENANANqzPAaMqPt 維尼
還要凜冽8964 copyright protection139PENANAe3oqAX1gl9 維尼
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8964 copyright protection139PENANA6qAuyMZD8m 維尼
曾經是學校人人8964 copyright protection139PENANA0NEGadyRaU 維尼
稱羨的女文青8964 copyright protection139PENANALus42M2MJX 維尼
未來的大作家8964 copyright protection139PENANAOaP8BD2SxX 維尼
獎牌和光環掛在8964 copyright protection139PENANA1Ycg6X3SPH 維尼
妳纖頸,繫在妳髮際8964 copyright protection139PENANAlrYtgLmRAF 維尼
閃亮難以逼視8964 copyright protection139PENANABZUG3hkves 維尼
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8964 copyright protection139PENANAKz2PLfVjk6 維尼
如今是全家個個8964 copyright protection139PENANAR3Njq3obQc 維尼
呼叱的黃臉婆8964 copyright protection139PENANAATfhYvPUq2 維尼
照料男人和他的8964 copyright protection139PENANAkQZtqyr4hm 維尼
前世情人,甜甜蜜蜜8964 copyright protection139PENANAXfmCcMur9F 維尼
妳冷眼看著一切8964 copyright protection139PENANAGYdXB8baNV 維尼
視線如炬8964 copyright protection139PENANAfL9WJXQm37 維尼
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8964 copyright protection139PENANA5oTQMCWJVp 維尼
都說同性相斥8964 copyright protection139PENANAx7fU95Gj62 維尼
妳恨沒生個兒子8964 copyright protection139PENANAVdZuEdJSzI 維尼
奇數難以均分,妳8964 copyright protection139PENANAxYceoIK74p 維尼
總是落單的這位8964 copyright protection139PENANAeA2IZYPZMV 維尼
永遠插不進8964 copyright protection139PENANAtELI5siU83 維尼
卿卿我我的那對8964 copyright protection139PENANAVkXwhzHgPd 維尼
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她複製妳的輪廓8964 copyright protection139PENANACp1HLGPslI 維尼
卻更加精美8964 copyright protection139PENANAXZe7nvCNkR 維尼
時間尚未發功8964 copyright protection139PENANAcjIJ3Uus4n 維尼
纖巧身材,讓人憐愛8964 copyright protection139PENANAI0sm2vwRgo 維尼
還有瞇瞇笑的桃花眼8964 copyright protection139PENANAcZnPXhpbXd 維尼
天真無邪的8964 copyright protection139PENANAhNgqMZdpjh 維尼
舌頭和乳頭8964 copyright protection139PENANAFTqz6YaZq7 維尼
自以為可愛的演示8964 copyright protection139PENANAB2aBTcBxms 維尼
淫蕩的動作8964 copyright protection139PENANAOfCknvLWOl 維尼
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開水在燒8964 copyright protection139PENANA9QNYSvk2ur 維尼
爐火在烤8964 copyright protection139PENANA3yx9thbYHS 維尼
妳湊近火前8964 copyright protection139PENANAkN7OM1moTa 維尼
低頭看著自己8964 copyright protection139PENANAsNLMijaTeu 維尼
臃腫是產下她的8964 copyright protection139PENANACmBd71eX60 維尼
代價,皺紋是8964 copyright protection139PENANAXc36EcdjC4 維尼
管教她的反作用力8964 copyright protection139PENANAMekiz4RW4x 維尼
燥烈焦燎8964 copyright protection139PENANAfABrIn1KNu 維尼
標籤著妳的後半生8964 copyright protection139PENANATgrdnJMuuQ 維尼
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昨晚尤劇,他和她8964 copyright protection139PENANArSeQ6kX4y1 維尼
討論什麼生涯規劃8964 copyright protection139PENANApEno2NuXbl 維尼
「我要當作家!!」8964 copyright protection139PENANAP3ZNocxKNr 維尼
她大嚷,拿著全校什麼什麼獎8964 copyright protection139PENANAIog0hQrjRv 維尼
的獎狀,在妳面前晃8964 copyright protection139PENANALAeIyHnJAD 維尼
妳移開視線,分不清8964 copyright protection139PENANAgHNBhGCypp 維尼
是羨慕,還是嫉妒8964 copyright protection139PENANAebWwy3QfqV 維尼
所有感覺凝成火種8964 copyright protection139PENANAL7EpRUwO4L 維尼
在心裡跳盪8964 copyright protection139PENANAc32325pLgN 維尼
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妳忘了後面怎樣,只記得8964 copyright protection139PENANACyMlN1p9wP 維尼
撕成片片的紙張——8964 copyright protection139PENANAcZxLiHk3Ji 維尼
那些曾經是獎狀嗎?8964 copyright protection139PENANAzF1541yqze 維尼
罵聲轟隆8964 copyright protection139PENANALFRDp6Up3B 維尼
哭聲嘹亮8964 copyright protection139PENANAivkmoKGBCs 維尼
還有尖銳汽笛聲響8964 copyright protection139PENANAEUS1VOUGrj 維尼
是誰按下通往不歸路列車的8964 copyright protection139PENANA2hGxMCW8yu 維尼
喇叭???8964 copyright protection139PENANAxQdogcI3Jf 維尼
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8964 copyright protection139PENANAYmrjxeABUE 維尼
⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯8964 copyright protection139PENANAcAzd9eIUKe 維尼
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8964 copyright protection139PENANAEX8WZv1t4H 維尼
直到一切全然熄定8964 copyright protection139PENANAlyxXmiNex9 維尼
妳發現自己不在8964 copyright protection139PENANANeZ9qM4evZ 維尼
那個名為「家」的領域8964 copyright protection139PENANATFVt9YmcS2 維尼
而是四面白牆的囹圄8964 copyright protection139PENANAPEP0JRT924 維尼
鋪棉牆壁看似溫煦8964 copyright protection139PENANAW844VvQqaU 維尼
卻有認證妳「不正常」的8964 copyright protection139PENANAPwJjHLLKMg 維尼
用意8964 copyright protection139PENANA8m7LHHGmas 維尼
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發生什麼事?8964 copyright protection139PENANAE2oln40mxu 維尼
斷片許久的妳8964 copyright protection139PENANA7Khr8hmsOA 維尼
開始一點一滴8964 copyright protection139PENANARrCAJGooqU 維尼
將細節拾起:8964 copyright protection139PENANAWdo718VMAf 維尼
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她捧著碎紙哭泣8964 copyright protection139PENANA2Hnn8ydxWF 維尼
他對著妳發脾氣8964 copyright protection139PENANAOlyRc2rTUE 維尼
妳雙膝著地,不停8964 copyright protection139PENANACtOD9BmdkX 維尼
對他們倆尖聲說著8964 copyright protection139PENANADVPvaY6TU0 維尼
對不起對不起對不起8964 copyright protection139PENANAM5VI235oHw 維尼
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炎焱似乎已經平息8964 copyright protection139PENANAv7jCOMugVT 維尼
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第二天,那對男女8964 copyright protection139PENANA1V9WEfYGsp 維尼
裝作沒事,一道外出8964 copyright protection139PENANA3lfBKb4Um0 維尼
用餐,還幫妳外帶8964 copyright protection139PENANAJy4Jr0Sp8H 維尼
回家後,三人聊天8964 copyright protection139PENANAg6UHAmMxFT 維尼
愉快啜飲妳開小火8964 copyright protection139PENANA3U1wXdimng 維尼
煮的水泡的茶8964 copyright protection139PENANAXxll9HHe6b 維尼
然後⋯⋯8964 copyright protection139PENANAX7Oj8Cc11n 維尼
然候⋯⋯8964 copyright protection139PENANAkPqXpfuPse 維尼
然後⋯⋯8964 copyright protection139PENANAbvMBlSehfV 維尼
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再也沒有然後了8964 copyright protection139PENANAhxs2dvnFxr 維尼
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妳在四堵白牆裡,默默看著8964 copyright protection139PENANAhYb2CH1qG5 維尼
在小火面前的自己8964 copyright protection139PENANANf7YOBaq4d 維尼
溫水煮青蛙的自己8964 copyright protection139PENANAGfEJlYlYbi 維尼
被心火焚燬的自己8964 copyright protection139PENANAHODKEn5eob 維尼
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摸出一瓶OOO的妳8964 copyright protection139PENANAgRHS5SKaCq 維尼
將茶壺蓋打開8964 copyright protection139PENANAbKrairAJP2 維尼
倒入安靜的液體8964 copyright protection139PENANAqbj5kF7Bp8 維尼
同時,側耳傾聽8964 copyright protection139PENANAKJoPmms4ES 維尼
等待,門鈴8964 copyright protection139PENANAbZBepAx38b 維尼
即將響起。8964 copyright protection139PENANAvpu60XUd4P 維尼
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這首〈心火〉的寫作時間,正好在我想要轉變/增加詩風之際,所以腦洞和手法都跟我之前寫的新詩不大一樣,為此我還把《W. H. 新詩集》的分級,從 G 改成 PG-13。143Please respect copyright.PENANAH9CKCtPREp
143Please respect copyright.PENANAkQE0jesPFo
這首詩,也可以改寫/擴寫成小說,但字數就不會這麼少,而且我個人認為,此詩悲哀的感覺會降低——小說其實不乏這種題材,但新詩好像還不多見,這也是我想嘗試這種題材的原因之一。143Please respect copyright.PENANAaPqlF0O79k
143Please respect copyright.PENANA2yFbsyiXvr
〈心火〉大概半個月前寫成 (我查 Google 文件版本紀錄,09/30 初稿,目前是第五版),我覺得還有修改的空間,描述還是太直白了,可以更「詩」一點,但也可能將敘述弄得更複雜,修不修訂,就再說吧。8964 copyright protection139PENANAerw9v6zb7F 維尼
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8964 copyright protection139PENANAlXZhiurqrI 維尼
~~~~我是分隔線~~~~8964 copyright protection139PENANAywnfRYCMX3 維尼
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〈心火〉是我舉辦的創挑「來寫OO詩 ⑦:故事詩」的示範作,上架之後,有讀者給了我一些反饋,我覺得很受用,也對其回應 (註):8964 copyright protection139PENANAXgriMtZ8CK 維尼
143Please respect copyright.PENANAQy01zmw9RJ
8964 copyright protection139PENANAS8N5Ah6dwa 維尼
(註):上開文字也是我對另一位讀者的回應,有經過修改。8964 copyright protection139PENANAvPdyPfBc9x 維尼
143Please respect copyright.PENANAVNezjmgymF
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「你的腦洞比我大啊~143Please respect copyright.PENANAMPujEoup59
143Please respect copyright.PENANARh0WPGitQi
沒有到不倫,只是小小的齟齬,小小的摩擦,天天發生,會讓心裡的火苗越來越大,終至焚燬。143Please respect copyright.PENANAFxU41SHldZ
143Please respect copyright.PENANAGOhioFMdNE
我詩末留有想像空間 (丈夫和女兒的後續,我沒寫出來,或許沒死~),但『妳』意圖毒殺丈夫和女兒,這件事是確定的。143Please respect copyright.PENANAD8cv2gdBcQ
143Please respect copyright.PENANAFPrDT4zV3H
詩的跳躍性,包括時間軸 (毒殺在先,進精神病院在後,但這首詩先出現的是進精神病院,再用回憶帶出毒殺之事~也可以呼應『妳』的精神狀態已經錯亂),讓作者可以處理比較特殊的題材。143Please respect copyright.PENANAjqH8AOv4Hs
143Please respect copyright.PENANA1ncVtHv0X2
對了,不曉得你有沒有看過《爆漫王。》?如果根據主角之一秋犯的說法,這首詩算是『邪道』——我結語會提到,有興趣再來看看吧。」8964 copyright protection139PENANAdWZKQ7a3p3 維尼
143Please respect copyright.PENANAUXc4gfpaQx
8964 copyright protection139PENANApTgitrUJXE 維尼
〖出處〗(請見留言區)8964 copyright protection139PENANAiYpP8s0xsI 維尼
https://www.penana.com/article/15318948964 copyright protection139PENANAN508PkZ3D6 維尼
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8964 copyright protection139PENANA72DEk1nHy4 維尼
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8964 copyright protection139PENANAEevLVokv1g 維尼
附圖原畫作者是 Akseli Gallen-Kallela (1865-1931)。作者去世70年以上,其著作財產權已經消滅,原畫圖檔屬於公有領域 (public domain),任何人均可使用。8964 copyright protection139PENANAER06MEDTEG 維尼
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