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No Plagiarism!3OXNQgrsDCTE2dz7nodkposted on PENANA (本節推薦搭配歌曲為美波 - ライラック)8964 copyright protection158PENANA8T4hGRflcx 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANA3uO8vsaW42
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(8964 copyright protection158PENANA1c7KZbGsOD 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAHdMbYwhGYk
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------老爸視角------8964 copyright protection158PENANAQEBKZtAnIX 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAPIVFXdW6Oy
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162Please respect copyright.PENANAOqEmUHf4n3
8964 copyright protection158PENANAI0KJbP1Yp1 維尼
晚上實況結束後,我便直接洗洗睡了。醒來時已經是早上九點。8964 copyright protection158PENANAOc3ruIlrAN 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAVe3WeTaKqZ
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似乎夢到了什麼不好的事,一醒來卻通通忘了。只有殘留的些許緊張及冷汗,在告知自己有這件事。8964 copyright protection158PENANAD35eO5Ba0A 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANA4oXgaDMuPK
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但既然忘了……就別逼自己回想了吧?8964 copyright protection158PENANACHUuO5zyWO 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAA25FO8XoB5
8964 copyright protection158PENANAqTg0ilDnB5 維尼
總之,我仍舊直接起身到廁所梳洗。8964 copyright protection158PENANAiOkN5mwwOK 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANA5BiXJdMVkB
8964 copyright protection158PENANAEASYmBYE5y 維尼
感覺睡得不太好,有種過度警醒,卻依舊疲憊的感受在體內盤桓不去。就算刷牙洗臉完,也試著做了對現代人來說十分難得的早操,那感覺仍無消退的打算。8964 copyright protection158PENANAcNRG5GYRcS 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANApd77CJpK3u
8964 copyright protection158PENANArEjSKVi35Q 維尼
是肚子餓的關係嗎……?這麼想著的我直接去廚房煮了碗泡麵,接著坐到客廳沙發,像是心死的上班族般默默吃完再回廚房洗碗。8964 copyright protection158PENANAOL7yWVrfqq 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANASdu6vrpelO
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洗完後回到房間,用手機傳訊息給北風說:昨天自己問太多了,並對拿問題堵她問題這點覺得抱歉,並且還在想賠罪的方式。一送完訊息,我便閉上眼睛拋開手機,在沙發上伸手摀住臉。8964 copyright protection158PENANAb0W83wzw8f 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAyuik0KIJko
8964 copyright protection158PENANA5FYszxdHop 維尼
「……嚇哈!」8964 copyright protection158PENANAbH97dox6xG 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAivGMcTcUmC
8964 copyright protection158PENANAL7aG6LBmD4 維尼
發出了十分羞恥(被別人聽到的話),但能幫自己打氣的仿武士吆喝。8964 copyright protection158PENANAsFoVCN2A6f 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANA2J7G1piSS5
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好了。8964 copyright protection158PENANA3DCH4srXg5 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAB82pomLhBF
8964 copyright protection158PENANAZiRrKrstrj 維尼
能先做的事都做完了,該是做那個練習的時候了。8964 copyright protection158PENANAU0K3aEX5Zd 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAVfFkUUVNpT
8964 copyright protection158PENANA0Xi5MHVC4u 維尼
……做那件我下定決心做到的事。8964 copyright protection158PENANAtGaVhn6NYY 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANARYBpxhyy4u
8964 copyright protection158PENANAN8q6S6BNM8 維尼
於是我深呼吸。接連深呼吸三次,才終於讓自己抓起家中鑰匙離開房間。8964 copyright protection158PENANA3QJz6EhPdG 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANA727qwPoB1a
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老實說──上次雖然成功走到陽台,但僅僅一次的成功經驗,無法讓恐懼就此消散。對於踏出家門這種事,還是會忍不住想要逃避。8964 copyright protection158PENANAzeL20LrWmP 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAask9Fqzqoj
8964 copyright protection158PENANAbandG8VaKj 維尼
很想做點事。無論什麼事都好,藉此讓自己不用面對那可怕的感受。8964 copyright protection158PENANA17HLSAFo0x 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAZqnJYvZHmE
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就算曾經挑戰成功,但有時……這反而會讓自己不願再次嘗試。8964 copyright protection158PENANA1WEQPP4crc 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAYAZxhu55rs
8964 copyright protection158PENANAQ8rljdCJMJ 維尼
比起失敗後又失敗,一度成功後卻再度失敗的挫折會讓人更難受。8964 copyright protection158PENANAyRDzinWcf1 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANA0Q8TgPg0Kt
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所以說,看見希望不一定是好事。因為有些人──像是我──就會覺得希望保留在還是「希望」的狀態就好。畢竟一旦開始追逐,那希望可能反而會破滅,轉變成更深的絕望。8964 copyright protection158PENANABGqgOx1Qwm 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAAXOSeGNh3s
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「……唉。」8964 copyright protection158PENANANHXYp410fC 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAXH2v0M0J1E
8964 copyright protection158PENANA4ZSXjf8dGL 維尼
但無論再想逃避,還是得繼續嘗試。8964 copyright protection158PENANAj1T1TauWfa 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAFRB70sAfWR
8964 copyright protection158PENANA4tZ950lXu2 維尼
既然決定了。那麼為了自己──同時也是為了兩個孩子,無論如何都得繼續去試。8964 copyright protection158PENANAom4Oyilqbn 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAla5g5hrK43
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「嘶──呼──嘶──呼──」8964 copyright protection158PENANAxqZVRUgd1v 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANASdpBwqBkfq
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終於準備好後,我站在門口,再度深呼吸三次,試著完全放空。盡量不去想接下來要做的事,也不去想做不到的話會怎樣?8964 copyright protection158PENANA1LjRGTwSst 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANA204BWlBK0y
8964 copyright protection158PENANAkD6VUwSXCl 維尼
不去想那些會產生恐懼的事。8964 copyright protection158PENANAgbn2Cb8edr 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAmRwCzCnKcJ
8964 copyright protection158PENANAqkfedGWgX0 維尼
似乎是因為原有的疲憊吧?感覺比較沒胡思亂想了。於是接下來,我小心維持著腦內的平衡,同時伸手抓住門把。8964 copyright protection158PENANAlRea70OzOS 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANA6AwTmyEdrQ
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不會有事的……這就只是門把,不會怎樣的。接著再向右推,然後再走出去就好。8964 copyright protection158PENANAB7w7UkrmcE 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANApAH6SiV6ZF
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閉上眼,只去想著門把的觸感……推開時的阻力還有抬腳向前時的肌肉感受──8964 copyright protection158PENANAbtxMEBUaDf 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAr1NxKjyokY
8964 copyright protection158PENANAJUTDz8xNBH 維尼
努力讓自己集中在這些事上,不多想什麼有的沒的。結果一睜眼──便發現自己已然站在陽台。8964 copyright protection158PENANA9VuWNReIWA 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAc4QcLJg7Xx
8964 copyright protection158PENANANkKzgFle2c 維尼
「呼……」稍微鬆了口氣。「看吧,就說不會怎麼樣了。」8964 copyright protection158PENANAmoLnBPlfSy 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANADH8SlxXVQ1
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然而,雖已過了第一關,但和上次相比根本沒任何不同。8964 copyright protection158PENANACJ3hAqDPIx 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAD53sC5tili
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但還是得鼓勵自己就是了。8964 copyright protection158PENANAPWMOlykOKX 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANA3kR3hzU4vL
8964 copyright protection158PENANA5hqiqxKz4M 維尼
稍微從陽台向外看去──恩,沒什麼特別的。是在客廳也看得見,對面公寓的水泥牆及別人客廳的──不行。再看下去大概會被當成偷窺狂。8964 copyright protection158PENANAQfjdJ18ZDh 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANA2Or93pZhxG
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而向左看去,便是這個社區的公園。是我……和子曦在若芸與輝烈還小時,常帶他們去玩的地方。8964 copyright protection158PENANArgC26KNcF9 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANA7fiLr20M9s
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有點懷念。8964 copyright protection158PENANAki8B07soOU 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAHO1b8ZgDUB
8964 copyright protection158PENANA5a5xLJY74r 維尼
想到以前的事,即便現在也還是忍不住想笑。8964 copyright protection158PENANAQMgcRfFL0T 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANA4c6UnioeTb
8964 copyright protection158PENANA8SNOim9oDW 維尼
那是一切都還正常,只屬於我們家的時光。8964 copyright protection158PENANA5ATBupmfCP 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAdgOX5VMatc
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子曦會一直在我身邊,若芸與輝烈也還小,整天黏著在家的我和她不放──8964 copyright protection158PENANAzTuKhiKaO0 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANABiJPLUZ1yW
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但如今卻完全相反。8964 copyright protection158PENANAC1Z63382yj 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANA6yNizgTvXz
8964 copyright protection158PENANALNVfkrV8rB 維尼
……一不小心又分心太久,還是把心思放回正事吧。8964 copyright protection158PENANAusziB5ISt2 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAcFJc9PHaUm
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把目標放在右手邊──那扇門的背後。8964 copyright protection158PENANAdmuNkf451A 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAf50VgFHlV2
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好吧。8964 copyright protection158PENANA2GaMQ5kqWt 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAcd5VSYgTaX
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總而言之,我試著強迫自己向右轉,面對自己的家門。但直到扶住陽台欄桿,一點一滴用手扯動自己前,雙腿都不肯聽從使喚。8964 copyright protection158PENANA68EitH3kRH 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANANyPK2WQYoc
8964 copyright protection158PENANAdZWkcgsuHp 維尼
腦袋不斷發出警訊,警告自己別去碰……別看見那些事物。可是那就只是扇門,只要打開就能出去了,不就是這麼簡單而已?8964 copyright protection158PENANAdEeie9A67x 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAfntOwAxJfw
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如果辦得到的話就試試啊?「這到底有什麼辦不到的?」8964 copyright protection158PENANAhhRLT6plVt 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAK1jgZR0X5D
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如果不怕的話大可以打開那扇門啊?「......好啊。我就開給你看!」8964 copyright protection158PENANAGUxWonzgkn 維尼
162Please respect copyright.PENANAqzBh27XNbf
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只要像這樣伸手,握住大門握把再推開就──8964 copyright protection158PENANAV8Ra8R4j4C 維尼
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