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No Plagiarism!sqf7MR5duc7GsyXReeyIposted on PENANA (本節推薦搭配歌曲為美波 - ライラック)8964 copyright protection213PENANAHhQeF85ri5 維尼
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(8964 copyright protection213PENANA3EmTEdr3lO 維尼
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------老爸視角------8964 copyright protection213PENANAMJfKHMkBK4 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANA7TzoLNupk4
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217Please respect copyright.PENANAkUy2vRWOxr
8964 copyright protection213PENANApa1Mm521ut 維尼
晚上實況結束後,我便直接洗洗睡了。醒來時已經是早上九點。8964 copyright protection213PENANAxPedzQS7pf 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANADBTCRqHQFu
8964 copyright protection213PENANAxsTiq2NO9A 維尼
似乎夢到了什麼不好的事,一醒來卻通通忘了。只有殘留的些許緊張及冷汗,在告知自己有這件事。8964 copyright protection213PENANA34Su7Bw6au 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAhERTkYIWNV
8964 copyright protection213PENANAD1BwvyrRrx 維尼
但既然忘了……就別逼自己回想了吧?8964 copyright protection213PENANACMtRlsGUNA 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAeqPspTgwR8
8964 copyright protection213PENANARpRHy36WO6 維尼
總之,我仍舊直接起身到廁所梳洗。8964 copyright protection213PENANAcnCJS2xLlF 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAxJiy1wHUJV
8964 copyright protection213PENANAeTCXgQdbf5 維尼
感覺睡得不太好,有種過度警醒,卻依舊疲憊的感受在體內盤桓不去。就算刷牙洗臉完,也試著做了對現代人來說十分難得的早操,那感覺仍無消退的打算。8964 copyright protection213PENANA1UCtxNjP3M 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAZt8omULE5G
8964 copyright protection213PENANAd5iyDMjGlZ 維尼
是肚子餓的關係嗎……?這麼想著的我直接去廚房煮了碗泡麵,接著坐到客廳沙發,像是心死的上班族般默默吃完再回廚房洗碗。8964 copyright protection213PENANARqUI448HRT 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAFyq7vVIB1A
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洗完後回到房間,用手機傳訊息給北風說:昨天自己問太多了,並對拿問題堵她問題這點覺得抱歉,並且還在想賠罪的方式。一送完訊息,我便閉上眼睛拋開手機,在沙發上伸手摀住臉。8964 copyright protection213PENANAeZTgj5svp3 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAT2JU2wOqRn
8964 copyright protection213PENANAbY9KVYO4i0 維尼
「……嚇哈!」8964 copyright protection213PENANAaBH57FCel0 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANATADadvJZJz
8964 copyright protection213PENANAfh6S58Mpjx 維尼
發出了十分羞恥(被別人聽到的話),但能幫自己打氣的仿武士吆喝。8964 copyright protection213PENANAzT2NfXTv8s 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANA4LGwqajr05
8964 copyright protection213PENANAnYl5Pet9bO 維尼
好了。8964 copyright protection213PENANAFcGGj5Awhf 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANA10O4xZOvAD
8964 copyright protection213PENANAnyYH0NewvQ 維尼
能先做的事都做完了,該是做那個練習的時候了。8964 copyright protection213PENANAdSLiudnWaC 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAQHQtNf8ZLW
8964 copyright protection213PENANAWZKf4hCBKg 維尼
……做那件我下定決心做到的事。8964 copyright protection213PENANAAI0Ab2y9jB 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAOXPXbPDFBX
8964 copyright protection213PENANALrDPp74fFJ 維尼
於是我深呼吸。接連深呼吸三次,才終於讓自己抓起家中鑰匙離開房間。8964 copyright protection213PENANATG1BCO56WG 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAiNjvf67v3q
8964 copyright protection213PENANAMdCSR6j9Ix 維尼
老實說──上次雖然成功走到陽台,但僅僅一次的成功經驗,無法讓恐懼就此消散。對於踏出家門這種事,還是會忍不住想要逃避。8964 copyright protection213PENANAZFqRjdt8AW 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAVW6CvEHxye
8964 copyright protection213PENANAyAoEA3MNzu 維尼
很想做點事。無論什麼事都好,藉此讓自己不用面對那可怕的感受。8964 copyright protection213PENANA1dPGDRcpV1 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAHer9ZKmA1g
8964 copyright protection213PENANA2U9NadBwNO 維尼
就算曾經挑戰成功,但有時……這反而會讓自己不願再次嘗試。8964 copyright protection213PENANAGoYELCtSBw 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANACmMzDheTxE
8964 copyright protection213PENANAjqPipuo20I 維尼
比起失敗後又失敗,一度成功後卻再度失敗的挫折會讓人更難受。8964 copyright protection213PENANA2EMu1ugNal 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAk2Jd5Lz8TT
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所以說,看見希望不一定是好事。因為有些人──像是我──就會覺得希望保留在還是「希望」的狀態就好。畢竟一旦開始追逐,那希望可能反而會破滅,轉變成更深的絕望。8964 copyright protection213PENANA0MaySJnWfk 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAQftCBJ32BM
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「……唉。」8964 copyright protection213PENANAjj2LlwdPVC 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAqBNsOkYFOc
8964 copyright protection213PENANA7gUo15p8XZ 維尼
但無論再想逃避,還是得繼續嘗試。8964 copyright protection213PENANAvzTKMvagbd 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAGU2Vv4nLVK
8964 copyright protection213PENANAmILsawQSrP 維尼
既然決定了。那麼為了自己──同時也是為了兩個孩子,無論如何都得繼續去試。8964 copyright protection213PENANAmCcfR88D9N 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAAxPNkvhpQv
8964 copyright protection213PENANA7SmUKDpM9C 維尼
「嘶──呼──嘶──呼──」8964 copyright protection213PENANABhrTWqLulX 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANA37XEc8SMMs
8964 copyright protection213PENANAIFbNZb9O4O 維尼
終於準備好後,我站在門口,再度深呼吸三次,試著完全放空。盡量不去想接下來要做的事,也不去想做不到的話會怎樣?8964 copyright protection213PENANAJI7XzlzRrF 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAk2nokxQvXN
8964 copyright protection213PENANAl5DHYL4h8b 維尼
不去想那些會產生恐懼的事。8964 copyright protection213PENANAk8dHZrf6dr 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAc4yDH5a1f6
8964 copyright protection213PENANAHZXOM72D26 維尼
似乎是因為原有的疲憊吧?感覺比較沒胡思亂想了。於是接下來,我小心維持著腦內的平衡,同時伸手抓住門把。8964 copyright protection213PENANAI1JQ0hUILo 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAnRHtHhf0Hg
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不會有事的……這就只是門把,不會怎樣的。接著再向右推,然後再走出去就好。8964 copyright protection213PENANA9309oFEZIi 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAvFQcnSKWIM
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閉上眼,只去想著門把的觸感……推開時的阻力還有抬腳向前時的肌肉感受──8964 copyright protection213PENANACA3scsbszo 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANApWkMa5CJBW
8964 copyright protection213PENANABpYa6P1yKZ 維尼
努力讓自己集中在這些事上,不多想什麼有的沒的。結果一睜眼──便發現自己已然站在陽台。8964 copyright protection213PENANAc39mkYBTvA 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAFcuDMLspar
8964 copyright protection213PENANAIFEcfykqng 維尼
「呼……」稍微鬆了口氣。「看吧,就說不會怎麼樣了。」8964 copyright protection213PENANAeDqbLDjGF2 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAO1lj2yjMlT
8964 copyright protection213PENANA8lfVNdcKuA 維尼
然而,雖已過了第一關,但和上次相比根本沒任何不同。8964 copyright protection213PENANAtGVuxtbGKf 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAYA8sPg0guD
8964 copyright protection213PENANA50iPkmbL9x 維尼
但還是得鼓勵自己就是了。8964 copyright protection213PENANAU8ItXnYyOG 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAC70I9cgXod
8964 copyright protection213PENANAVsWUnPtoh1 維尼
稍微從陽台向外看去──恩,沒什麼特別的。是在客廳也看得見,對面公寓的水泥牆及別人客廳的──不行。再看下去大概會被當成偷窺狂。8964 copyright protection213PENANAcBrUiPvnl8 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAogr0O0WiK1
8964 copyright protection213PENANAF6KIsKbtfA 維尼
而向左看去,便是這個社區的公園。是我……和子曦在若芸與輝烈還小時,常帶他們去玩的地方。8964 copyright protection213PENANADhbhELKx1Y 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAbiXNAa1ZwT
8964 copyright protection213PENANAzmQd4WscMz 維尼
有點懷念。8964 copyright protection213PENANAyIG1MzUbpx 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAoTLSLAJG1I
8964 copyright protection213PENANAtwOAK36X4b 維尼
想到以前的事,即便現在也還是忍不住想笑。8964 copyright protection213PENANAf1hZuMGlz1 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAQzGw5ouV0N
8964 copyright protection213PENANAHG0R7s7hXe 維尼
那是一切都還正常,只屬於我們家的時光。8964 copyright protection213PENANAuwag8L4vut 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAF8ffid62ZG
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子曦會一直在我身邊,若芸與輝烈也還小,整天黏著在家的我和她不放──8964 copyright protection213PENANAQu2oUlqos9 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANADmsfUfPveD
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但如今卻完全相反。8964 copyright protection213PENANAXWURwrEO5m 維尼
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8964 copyright protection213PENANAdSMg6qENxF 維尼
……一不小心又分心太久,還是把心思放回正事吧。8964 copyright protection213PENANA03nVqeWljP 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANA8LFyOew6C4
8964 copyright protection213PENANAFgrpqtXS3U 維尼
把目標放在右手邊──那扇門的背後。8964 copyright protection213PENANAQxZfWa8ukW 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANASxPKaKwDyq
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好吧。8964 copyright protection213PENANA5h88iIA1YG 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANA5BisyaKWrX
8964 copyright protection213PENANAWPDaogL2y2 維尼
總而言之,我試著強迫自己向右轉,面對自己的家門。但直到扶住陽台欄桿,一點一滴用手扯動自己前,雙腿都不肯聽從使喚。8964 copyright protection213PENANAA3QwSTuxhT 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAclGqUZqYsL
8964 copyright protection213PENANAFqnwL4fxaZ 維尼
腦袋不斷發出警訊,警告自己別去碰……別看見那些事物。可是那就只是扇門,只要打開就能出去了,不就是這麼簡單而已?8964 copyright protection213PENANAbRB5mUCxVi 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANA2tvp9zxNlk
8964 copyright protection213PENANA0ow8hI43E6 維尼
如果辦得到的話就試試啊?「這到底有什麼辦不到的?」8964 copyright protection213PENANA425sF4N4ZE 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANAZFsLQohRZi
8964 copyright protection213PENANApA09WUhadQ 維尼
如果不怕的話大可以打開那扇門啊?「......好啊。我就開給你看!」8964 copyright protection213PENANAk700htmSqF 維尼
217Please respect copyright.PENANA1Ib6JTH8ch
8964 copyright protection213PENANAfCj9RT5o1M 維尼
只要像這樣伸手,握住大門握把再推開就──8964 copyright protection213PENANAQE7RAcGvQd 維尼
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