「C牌的亞洲代表試鏡。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAKy5VnQnZPC
45Please respect copyright.PENANAUmoUdQVO35
小川鈴把試鏡通知書列印出來,擺在星野莉奈面前,「這是所有模特兒夢寐以求的機會。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAgBMaImW9sq
45Please respect copyright.PENANA1XUuYVQrjD
「巴黎總部親自點名、名單未公開、全球同步關注。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAcLWBbYq43K
45Please respect copyright.PENANAwRXCWSYCid
——光是這些條件,足以讓任何人心動。45Please respect copyright.PENANA1x0uJvMyeZ
45Please respect copyright.PENANAEk9upCYXjQ
小川鈴頓了頓,語氣依然穩定:「妳這幾個月的成績都有被看見。這次被點進名單,不是運氣,是對妳現階段的認可——也是,該來的考題。」45Please respect copyright.PENANA2eBFfvgVXQ
45Please respect copyright.PENANAewXIgA6ny6
小川鈴看著星野莉奈,沒有過分鼓勵,也沒有任何威脅:45Please respect copyright.PENANAQIF05rztHM
45Please respect copyright.PENANAIvpFHW3ftX
「競爭會很激烈。但不去就沒有機會。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAFlbk0Lgwfr
45Please respect copyright.PENANAhFseTAzyuu
星野莉奈看著那張紙。遲遲沒有伸手接過去。45Please respect copyright.PENANAiNxcWdXALb
45Please respect copyright.PENANA0mnrIcI3Vj
她當然知道,這種通知不會無緣無故落在誰桌上。45Please respect copyright.PENANAUKTHmfoJov
一旦去了,她的名字可能就不只是「星野莉奈Rina」,而是——「被C牌點過名的星野莉奈Rina」。45Please respect copyright.PENANANAmeXmFhhu
45Please respect copyright.PENANAgt5oDZZgsS
但她的手還是沒動,那張紙太輕,也太重。45Please respect copyright.PENANAvc5RzqPdLI
45Please respect copyright.PENANA7pJgTLMe1c
她在回家後,陷在客廳的沙發裡,一動也不動地盯著那封轉寄來的email。45Please respect copyright.PENANAxkPNHzhuFm
信件標題像在提醒她:「這裡是世界的門口,請進來。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAAzGjA4Ia8D
45Please respect copyright.PENANA2poR4SNE1r
機會來了。45Please respect copyright.PENANAxN6PkK9DQA
星野莉奈不怕上台、不怕鏡頭,也不怕一句話就讓萬千視線聚焦在自己身上的高風險。45Please respect copyright.PENANANNvE3ADmko
45Please respect copyright.PENANAuSWQ2hHOY6
但她的視線,卻一次次地被手機畫面拉走——45Please respect copyright.PENANAJVss8bC3ye
45Please respect copyright.PENANAY0AdHdVbZC
對話框的頂端,仍是糸師冴的名字。45Please respect copyright.PENANAD7xjizmuMm
她沒有傳訊息、也沒問他意見,只是靜靜看著那個名字,像是在凝視一個她不敢離開的座標。45Please respect copyright.PENANA1OpAg4hnK0
45Please respect copyright.PENANAvaCG5EPlch
她試過說服自己:「五天而已,拍完就回來。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAE4g4xquk2J
也試過安慰自己:「這是躍升一線模特兒的機會,是為了更長遠的未來。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAHSYO7U9f4V
45Please respect copyright.PENANAXHcUP2LkvU
她抬起頭,目光落在客廳牆上的那張等身海報。45Please respect copyright.PENANAa2sVZQpkBb
照片中的模特兒笑得優雅而自信,眼神清澈得像能穿透濃霧,彷彿正對她低語:45Please respect copyright.PENANAXeWupoVOzY
45Please respect copyright.PENANA6FyL5S2dt2
——這是屬於妳的舞台,它在等妳走上前來。45Please respect copyright.PENANAoBo3gaRrNg
45Please respect copyright.PENANAXJdtiuUnG7
像某個信念,正在輕聲召喚——45Please respect copyright.PENANANBtzBsPect
但餘音尚未散去,心底已悄悄響起另一個聲音:45Please respect copyright.PENANAFSMa2EkSQp
45Please respect copyright.PENANAuL8NlQdvxQ
那他呢?45Please respect copyright.PENANAXGGs8ILim1
45Please respect copyright.PENANARRYJldZIBZ
現在的他,正在經歷人生最大的轉型期,不是嗎?45Please respect copyright.PENANAYnTuLxbJN7
45Please respect copyright.PENANA0Dz6ckry0g
他從沒說出「留下來陪我」,但她知道,那場雪夜、那個公園裡他們無聲重逢的夜晚——所有的沉默與靠近,都是他僅存的脆弱表達。45Please respect copyright.PENANAtY1rOJV29t
45Please respect copyright.PENANAjnh9N1Rqvv
冴這個人永遠不會求助——他會撐著,什麼都不說。45Please respect copyright.PENANAA84qiTTiuz
45Please respect copyright.PENANAg0RKqp5nGy
她從沒問過自己能幫上什麼忙,但她始終記得:無論有沒有人看見的日子,都是她遞過熱奶茶、把練習球傳過去的。45Please respect copyright.PENANAUhsHh1pH2h
45Please respect copyright.PENANANCNACYJmbo
就算只是站在場邊,她也覺得,那是她的位置。45Please respect copyright.PENANAlzXSDKMskY
45Please respect copyright.PENANA1k2kdwRG1s
她不是不想走上更大的舞台。45Please respect copyright.PENANA6wRj1Dajmr
她只是害怕,一轉身,就再也找不到他了。45Please respect copyright.PENANAWHQiqb9wQl
45Please respect copyright.PENANAbpn61jm7tz
就像下雪的那夜,如果她沒有出現在那裡,如果她沒有選擇追上去⋯⋯她連感知他的機會都沒有。45Please respect copyright.PENANAGZIfcLpbZf
45Please respect copyright.PENANAFV1lHDwki6
她指尖緊緊按住手機,像這樣就能把即將被拉遠的距離留住。45Please respect copyright.PENANAnICFatnPzA
45Please respect copyright.PENANAq1LADv90Ot
她不是沒懷疑過,這份「想陪在他身邊」的情感,是不是一種逃避?好讓她有個名正言順的理由,不去面對外面那些莫名其妙的質疑跟嘲諷。45Please respect copyright.PENANAkQPjklGhep
45Please respect copyright.PENANArGpmck2tIY
她記得自己在他身邊吱吱喳喳的模樣。記得自己不需要去展現「最好」、「最剛好」的樣子。45Please respect copyright.PENANAB4ruW8jv70
45Please respect copyright.PENANAQsCTT6kC4X
就算他們相隔了四年的空白,但他只要在,她就不需要去那樣展現。45Please respect copyright.PENANApWJCcFkRui
45Please respect copyright.PENANA0WaaxklU4m
越是這樣想,她就越確定——45Please respect copyright.PENANAnjvpn0Ovfb
只有靠近他,只有在他身邊,她才有一種「不用收起自己」的安全感。45Please respect copyright.PENANA8umrCRYBJY
45Please respect copyright.PENANAqmhNs3Is7R
那不是戀愛的幻想,也不是任性的依賴——而是她最深處、最真實的判斷。45Please respect copyright.PENANASlmYNkXy1L
45Please respect copyright.PENANAfqnNx14RyX
在這個什麼都得拿捏分寸、不能露出破綻的行業裡⋯⋯只有那個人,可以讓她不覺得自己很糟、不怕自己很吵、不用害怕任何失敗——45Please respect copyright.PENANALU9qwlu6IU
45Please respect copyright.PENANAgjy6dEi6BS
現在,她想用同樣的方式,站在他身邊。45Please respect copyright.PENANAaHHYNBgdzd
45Please respect copyright.PENANARwVYWSBp6A
——可巴黎在那一端,機票是明天早上十點的。45Please respect copyright.PENANAhXPgkphYNI
45Please respect copyright.PENANAH42VmpVZog
而她,想去。45Please respect copyright.PENANAPB9rMFEqNe
45Please respect copyright.PENANAiuX2uMFtr5
不是不想飛,而是不確定,離開的這幾天,會不會錯過某些他需要她的時刻。45Please respect copyright.PENANAAiLQpCZqFf
45Please respect copyright.PENANAc01ygtFyhL
指尖在手機和email間來回滑動,心裡的鐘聲一下一下逼近。45Please respect copyright.PENANAdsK2WmlKd2
45Please respect copyright.PENANAygd2BB4udZ
她明知道該出發了,卻怎麼也停不下那個念頭——45Please respect copyright.PENANAVQWHxg6W7P
45Please respect copyright.PENANAp7x5kDd73U
「他如果在練球時,突然狀態崩了怎麼辦?」45Please respect copyright.PENANASSswlu6z8y
「如果又出了什麼事,他會不會又一個人撐著?」45Please respect copyright.PENANAw9fA45aGFC
45Please respect copyright.PENANAvufbOWouFf
星野莉奈閉上眼,告訴自己這樣的情緒太過矯情。45Please respect copyright.PENANAIqLWGywfed
45Please respect copyright.PENANA76OiBSVH8Q
但下一秒,眼淚還是悄悄浮了上來。45Please respect copyright.PENANAtrLRlZlsN9
45Please respect copyright.PENANAfZUNuunHgU
——她真的,好想飛去巴黎。45Please respect copyright.PENANAH9dmXEoDtS
45Please respect copyright.PENANAj4YdkXL5nJ
她忽然想起,當年,冴拿到RE・AL的邀請函時,會不會,也有過這樣的掙扎?45Please respect copyright.PENANAAEtr08D3ud
45Please respect copyright.PENANASjr9UaurK9
他不是沒感情的——她知道。45Please respect copyright.PENANAjxJbDsTBUl
45Please respect copyright.PENANAkhWAFmc2ZC
在他們家慶功的那晚,他靜靜把彩帶從臉上撥下來。表情安靜得像水,沒有激動,也沒有喜悅,沒有對她跟小凜的舉動潑任何冷水——那種靜,像一種極溫柔、極深刻的道別。45Please respect copyright.PENANArNqToWABGo
45Please respect copyright.PENANAlfAhC9QkEt
他沒說什麼英雄夢,只是靠著流理台默默坐下來,提起糸師凜,講的全是捨不得。45Please respect copyright.PENANAoBZju9y8oI
45Please respect copyright.PENANADz8L9tzTUe
而離開的前一天,他們三個人在堤防。他語氣堅定,又像輕聲叮嚀小凜——他不在的時候,不可以放棄足球。45Please respect copyright.PENANAxSg6iyCvsl
45Please respect copyright.PENANAbhlvTm6Z5e
她想到幾年前,自己第一次在攝影棚拍廣告時的緊張——當時,糸師冴還在西班牙,她每週會主動傳照片給他,問他:「這樣拍,會不會太像在笑?我還是比較想要拍有氣勢一點的。」45Please respect copyright.PENANA3QJPHYrHIu
45Please respect copyright.PENANA5XvMfeFWmj
他總是回得簡單:「很適合妳。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAk65whGUjVD
45Please respect copyright.PENANA20NuiAAbs8
她當時以為那是敷衍,但後來才明白,那是他一貫的語言——節省語氣,連肯定也是。45Please respect copyright.PENANAT1KIYyfz1X
45Please respect copyright.PENANAcJT2KsLUL0
那其實也是冴在叫她:45Please respect copyright.PENANAR6LziUITdj
45Please respect copyright.PENANAeTfKatKPSo
「不要放棄。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAgrbdOLHz08
45Please respect copyright.PENANAUcdUqtbZ3n
那時候——他是不是也像她現在一樣,走得很遠,心卻一直回頭看。45Please respect copyright.PENANAGiLZnwR9rc
45Please respect copyright.PENANA0Xa75d4YE5
她用手背擦掉眼淚,吸了吸鼻子。45Please respect copyright.PENANAl0VJCuIB35
猶豫了一下,還是撥了通電話給糸師冴。45Please respect copyright.PENANAZh2x6vkG0G
45Please respect copyright.PENANAfCrshLqmGJ
『喂?』電話裡傳來他熟悉而略顯低沉的聲音。45Please respect copyright.PENANAgQnusqwNjC
45Please respect copyright.PENANAnw2BEF7Vnp
「冴,今天訓練還順利嗎?」45Please respect copyright.PENANAWktjk23utc
45Please respect copyright.PENANALTKV7XuwX9
『還行。妳⋯⋯怎麼了嗎?』45Please respect copyright.PENANAhWE1gMDHF6
45Please respect copyright.PENANA6xAlDP4gWn
「嗯⋯⋯我跟你說哦,我今天收到一個還不錯的試鏡邀請。」她的語氣聽起來輕鬆又淡定,彷彿只是隨口一提:45Please respect copyright.PENANAXH6cbPnxZ5
45Please respect copyright.PENANAmVBY1oTAva
「說不定,我會去歐洲拍攝。」45Please respect copyright.PENANASAgxAWphlA
45Please respect copyright.PENANA5KUoLc7GMZ
電話那頭,糸師冴沉默了一會,不知道他是在斟酌什麼,還是根本什麼都沒想:45Please respect copyright.PENANAhhfo59BvVQ
45Please respect copyright.PENANACrMXjJ2DVA
『很好啊,妳早就應該去歐洲試試了。』45Please respect copyright.PENANAgVyf6Z92J2
45Please respect copyright.PENANAZQc6zwiVJw
「是嗎?」她輕笑一聲,「我以為你會說點別的。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAu8ovIlJvIb
45Please respect copyright.PENANAWcWWRXMtV0
『說什麼?恭喜妳,星野莉奈同學?』45Please respect copyright.PENANASVigStOsMi
45Please respect copyright.PENANAZTh3YrDGIl
「真沒誠意。」她撇嘴輕哼一聲:「——明天早上的飛機耶,你不說點什麼嗎?」45Please respect copyright.PENANArgEDazh8jS
45Please respect copyright.PENANAtyp3TSwcBe
『⋯⋯趕快掛掉電話去收行李,妳的時間管理很差。』45Please respect copyright.PENANAw0XYTEE7wk
45Please respect copyright.PENANAuvkFl6oW8P
「喂——誰在跟你說這個啊!」45Please respect copyright.PENANASHZMasNOyT
45Please respect copyright.PENANAmBMx4W87Cy
話才講完,電話那頭傳來一聲輕笑——不是冷笑,而是難得、帶著一點溫度的低笑聲。45Please respect copyright.PENANAE2qfG7CBk1
45Please respect copyright.PENANA8Gkl0P3AN9
星野莉奈怔了一下,心跳,不小心漏了一拍。45Please respect copyright.PENANARrNoZMHXgz
45Please respect copyright.PENANAW1vv88HzoU
他大概不知道——那聲笑,比任何祝福都來得溫柔。45Please respect copyright.PENANA6zAugkR2kS
45Please respect copyright.PENANAbYvBdqyScY
『⋯⋯我知道妳會去。』45Please respect copyright.PENANAZr6tDA2SdJ
45Please respect copyright.PENANACRpUHjTJIw
「你一開始就覺得我會去?」45Please respect copyright.PENANAkglMIOV3xr
45Please respect copyright.PENANAbfNF1iXHHp
『妳從以前就是這樣啊。問別人前,自己早就有答案了——說不去,其實心裡已經在想要帶什麼了。』45Please respect copyright.PENANAkkjnfPPK7t
45Please respect copyright.PENANA0pnrhWjgMA
她沉默了幾秒,然後嘴角慢慢揚起,「你真的很討厭欸。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAdZ9wEImlXo
45Please respect copyright.PENANAa3bS8u7MjL
『是妳太容易被讀懂了。』45Please respect copyright.PENANA5DN4kZRbKk
45Please respect copyright.PENANAkdUHSAeHaC
電話裡一時沒了聲音,但氣氛並不尷尬——那是一種熟悉的靜默,是連沉默都像在說話的節奏。45Please respect copyright.PENANA9FS2KvxARu
45Please respect copyright.PENANARCWi1U7XvY
她終於輕輕開口:「冴。」45Please respect copyright.PENANA8bwJeCPtfK
45Please respect copyright.PENANAuTEdv04a8A
『嗯?』45Please respect copyright.PENANA5ZUY5YJ3J0
45Please respect copyright.PENANAKryHz1ku0V
「你不會在我離開這幾天⋯⋯又一個人亂想吧?」45Please respect copyright.PENANAgbFi5NEZxG
45Please respect copyright.PENANAyoKLlm0Zlq
他沒有馬上回答,只是過了幾秒,才低聲說:45Please respect copyright.PENANAJpBtJdFkwQ
45Please respect copyright.PENANA42WR6EJlJe
『⋯⋯妳想多了。』45Please respect copyright.PENANAaIM68Ac9cY
45Please respect copyright.PENANABRRmUu4OGq
「欸!我很認真耶!」45Please respect copyright.PENANAs3ZjgXhLrE
45Please respect copyright.PENANAysQP9nTz7U
『我才沒空想那麼多。』45Please respect copyright.PENANAQwVAodXleG
45Please respect copyright.PENANAMNsO15Fnsd
星野莉奈深吸一口氣,強忍住想大笑又大罵的衝動——可最後還是忍不住,在電話裡碎念起來:45Please respect copyright.PENANAytPx1VJlQK
45Please respect copyright.PENANAMlXfThZjyH
「我跟你講喔,冴,如果我回來的時候發現你又瘦了、手又凍傷、還一副什麼都沒事的樣子,我真的會生氣。然後我就會當著你隊友的面,直接把你從場邊拖走、狠狠罵一頓,毫不留情的那種。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAvWL7T5h0vL
45Please respect copyright.PENANAWQE9dDHakp
電話那頭沉默了一秒,傳來一聲極輕的「嗯」。45Please respect copyright.PENANAVlawJm8uxD
45Please respect copyright.PENANAsj1NfO4k6R
那一聲應答,不是敷衍,不是無奈,而是一種,她從他口中很少聽見的溫柔——像是用極有限的語言說:「我會照做。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAOaljc4crnF
45Please respect copyright.PENANAFKHbbcqRD7
她靠在沙發背上,望著天花板。45Please respect copyright.PENANAaDqjrL30fe
45Please respect copyright.PENANA4pcwdCO0kg
「你還要答應我一件事。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAdW5tYTiLv2
45Please respect copyright.PENANAXdGDHk5BWb
『說吧。』45Please respect copyright.PENANACtQKKkARv7
45Please respect copyright.PENANArDe9uN2Yh8
「這幾天你一定要吃飯、要睡覺、要訓練、要記得貼暖暖包、不要自己去踢那種很冷的夜場——還有,如果又出現那種⋯⋯腳不聽使喚的狀況,不准自己一個人悶著。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAXUwyczXwnk
45Please respect copyright.PENANAFJrXtqXMse
她語氣本來是故作輕鬆的,可說著說著,最後竟有點哽咽。45Please respect copyright.PENANA58f2Llph6e
45Please respect copyright.PENANAukKmcH2um8
『⋯⋯妳囉唆得跟以前一模一樣。』45Please respect copyright.PENANAVPcmdsg6rZ
45Please respect copyright.PENANA6DL2xBA525
「冴,我是認真的。」45Please respect copyright.PENANA052OdYqGD9
45Please respect copyright.PENANALGep2X3w7A
『我知道。五天而已,又沒什麼。』45Please respect copyright.PENANACOVoenvP27
45Please respect copyright.PENANAC7ZqQGuoLP
星野莉奈大笑出聲,「也是吼——有人一去就是四年,我才五天而已,Piece of cake啦!」45Please respect copyright.PENANAhEjaPAXMPX
45Please respect copyright.PENANAuOu0h5mj36
『囉哩八唆的⋯⋯妳還收不收行李?』45Please respect copyright.PENANAUNYGPgmlMg
45Please respect copyright.PENANAhRXyNE7Qxg
「收啦收啦。不過你要記得喔——如果你覺得心裡有點酸酸的、有點痛痛的,或是耳邊有聽見我的聲音了,就聯絡我,好嗎?」45Please respect copyright.PENANA0Ka06eTJ8S
45Please respect copyright.PENANANcoHfuQHAz
『⋯⋯我會先去看醫生。』45Please respect copyright.PENANAzwYkZ2Pdm8
45Please respect copyright.PENANAXDRw1sIWr5
她笑了,笑得安靜又柔軟。45Please respect copyright.PENANAW4NgVWcaOx
45Please respect copyright.PENANALzLxZs0HeV
「——我會記得傳訊息給你,記得拍照片給你看,也會記得回來。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAhFxrjHjZXA
45Please respect copyright.PENANAtVvtnxwhyi
巴黎很遠,機票時間不會等人。45Please respect copyright.PENANA6skNqYIk7n
45Please respect copyright.PENANA4ayOVjg4MA
她終於打開email,按下確認。手機放在一邊,開始收拾行李。45Please respect copyright.PENANA6sJzNfNWwu
45Please respect copyright.PENANAoHB5oCQIrT
「我回來一定會找你。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAfsebZh8Rux
45Please respect copyright.PENANAVu6ySPVW14
只要他還在,站在鏡頭前的那個「星野莉奈Rina」,就能再走得更遠一點。
45Please respect copyright.PENANAyZNgZkNJAb