最鋒利的刀，從不見血。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgyIGfeUVr
它藏在湯裡、藥裡、一句「媽媽都是為妳好」裡。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnmx7VLb7x
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSQpoTKeNv
它叫愛。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xsQpwGJJI
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbG8suGubQ
靜餘，是我名字。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6OuNKDSyO
梁靜餘。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHqzQRxU1k
聽起來像個文靜的、病懨懨的姑娘。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuA2Dt9xZfD
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyoYzt985K
其實我本性愛笑，小時候能追著狗滿院子跑，6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRBK2XykSS
能把螞蟻窩捅塌還哈哈大笑。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUrE90YEKf
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkd3dpKhIb
三歲那年，母親開始說我情緒不穩。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDvn9WNzS8
六歲，我被診斷為早發性憂鬱症。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsTNpqtyPz
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRphjXBJG8z
從此，孩子的人生，就成了一場由她執筆的悲劇。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWS2kUxw1mb
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivT0gSmoW9
她總說：「我比妳更懂痛苦。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2fWETGUC4
說得那麼真，眼淚那麼準時，連心理醫生都感動：「這位單親媽媽太偉大了，十年如一日照顧病兒。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUydlIJcDr
可沒人問過——6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYu3KFnJJmA
我到底，是不是真的病了？6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLszGAtNZaV
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiUKqgIH2r
直到那個雨夜。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLm2fNoQM0D
我假裝睡著，她進來關窗，日記本落在書桌。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyrSfUM7Xs
深藍絨面，銀扣鎖，像某種聖物。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8ZKinMnP5
我打開它，像打開潘朵拉的盒子。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHcvtrFDXP
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNzryi44nI
第一頁寫著：6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4Y1IDiUl2
「今天靜餘又裝開心。我加了半顆白藥。她笑了幾秒，然後眼神就黯下去，像燈泡燒盡。她不能快樂太久，快樂會讓她想逃。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxM2gZxvEvt
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKIPXr7aMT
我讀著，心口像被什麼東西一點點啃食。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJiSRJQ8jJ
不是痛，是空。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9NM8dlB16
一種被剝皮拆骨後，才發現自己從未真正活過的空。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKxS7LCl0e
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeszUJF5tu
原來我不是憂鬱。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSg7VQKEuem
是被「養」出來的憂鬱。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkmxwl6XsA
像一朵在暗室人工催開的花，6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYDwk2JENF
白、軟、無香，只能活在她設定的濕度與溫度裡。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcptb0MO6g
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrY59R9maLU
她給我吃的藥，不是治療，是致病劑。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8jPvubn51
長期服用會導致情緒遲鈍、記憶模糊、依賴性增強——6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEN2a7FICGP
不是治病，是製造病人。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwoqtLqtji
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxiAnBVEBN
我手抖得像風中的塑膠袋。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgh3zGpbnmk
想尖叫，可我知道，只要我喊出聲，她就會衝進來，抱著我說：「乖，別怕，媽媽在。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7K3eN2ZED
然後，給我一顆鎮定的藥。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rttxCD5f7
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwa0L05CxOY
那藥，會讓我連恨都記不起來。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMiY5f2laP
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0J32eVd7W
我開始裝睡。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2Fm7ZW7Ac
每晚十點，她會輕輕推開門，坐在床邊，盯著我呼吸。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEy4Nb3rEe
有時她會伸手，撫過我的眉、我的唇，像在確認某件收藏品是否仍在原位。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYN8aYUY75H
「乖，」她低語，「病了，媽媽不會離開妳。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvoCFKgfuf
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0CnvFZo3a
我假裝吞藥，實際沖到了馬桶。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKbtWqchbu
偷偷減量，身體像被撕開——頭痛、失眠、幻聽。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm04S0JxTxb
但我逐漸清醒。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXq9hKGgAvD
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeWz5c0SS8
小學時，我其實愛笑，愛跑，愛在雨裡跳水坑。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzCHBYFzT9
是母親說：「女孩子要安靜，不然別人會說你瘋。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeul1Mi2ANW
是她，在我果汁裡加第一粒藥，輕聲說：「這能讓妳乖一點。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGFiiRoCkW
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqCRG1DN8N
我錄下她半夜自言自語：「沒了病，妳就不需要我了……」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6D9g6CV4m1
我把證據寄給社工、醫生、警察。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXHDqXaTTs
沒人信。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18FWATkkyk
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvo9WrYJoju
「母親這麼愛妳，怎麼可能害妳？」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLcWnxsZa2
「妳有妄想症，靜餘，要堅持治療。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggcA7pTUmK
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyH2y5RUjD
直到那天，我「自殺未遂」。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTgdfwJj64
其實是母親給我喝了過量鎮靜劑，再用刀片劃開手腕，哭著打119：「我可憐的孩子，又想不開了……」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEwNmgJmcd
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2ZMg66aSF
急救室燈光刺眼，我睜眼，看見她站在門外，手指緊扣，眼神卻像在祈禱我別醒。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmvEumcKn2
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nhEJhjEc2
我閉眼，繼續裝昏迷。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqFSR6r722
但我在手臂上，用指甲刻下：「救我。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OnPAwKofK
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCbJeJO1A6
三天後，護士換藥時愣住。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRVag8Xk9l
她盯著我的刻字，又看我。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdtX8BKRzt
我睜開眼，輕輕點頭。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50LYKPTNX7
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHudRnwgjQ
她沒說話，但那晚，我房間外多了巡邏腳步聲。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0gbN7Ue5P
母親被請去談話。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRX9Qfd3bq
藥，換了。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtouz0p6H5
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lXyzTkdzP
我開始真正地復健——6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcMxN8i4z3
出院那天，陽光刺眼。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kSoep1rfS
母親站在門口，笑著張開手：「回來了，寶貝。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyYluQvwqJ
我沒進她懷裡。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2eTdKKCxGl
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKQMKWM5p0
我只看著她的眼睛——6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VFu2BJAPG
那雙曾被我當作全世界的眼睛——6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡob6N2xkUba
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMqQ2TmcSg
輕聲說：「媽，妳從來不是在救我。妳只是，不想一個人活著。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3ETQA4aRn
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpl8XwXwMM2
她僵在原地。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhekHO8cB8T
我轉身，走進光裡。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqC4Rgas6Mp
身後，雨終於停了。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWT0EKCS2Nx
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnHDcXHOip
我搬進咖啡店附近的小房間，六坪，牆薄如紙，隔壁夫妻吵架我能聽清每一個字。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nluMNSfhJ
很好。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXsj6xwLfY
至少這世界的聲音，是真實的。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6FX97kMdS
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDyZmLTWEq
我開始打工，端盤子、擦桌子、記客人的飲料偏好。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEg0Gd6JTa6
老闆娘叫阿霞，五十歲，嗓門大，笑起來像打雷。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaffwyiQbui
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsslnaggDxd
「小丫頭，安安靜靜的，像隻受驚的貓。」她說：「但在這裡，不用裝乖。客人罵你，你就罵回去；燙到手，就喊痛。痛了，才知道自己活著。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBWrlp6VJt
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOfc7y5T2x
我點點頭，把這句話偷偷寫在筆記本第一頁。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1merFE1Bt5
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5YnVuageg
「痛了，才知道自己活著。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneXUhxOrgg
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1a0usHXV85
不是她給我的那種痛——6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2rHq8lZqI
那種讓人麻木、讓人想死的痛。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBh5GfnpzQ
是燙傷的痛，是被誤會的痛，是被人瞪一眼卻敢回瞪的痛。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvEgBJ9OB1
是活著的痛。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyip3VbBmy
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSWDHctV1D
我繼續減藥。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmggpalzB4
戒斷反應像地獄：頭像要裂開，手抖得拿不住杯子，半夜驚醒，聽見牆壁在呼吸。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IKcFHcpBr
我咬牙撐著。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfhAkUZBO2
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxECzw6LgA
我不再寫「今天心情：低落」，我寫：「今天摔了三個盤子，被阿霞罵，我回嘴了。她愣住，然後笑了。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNVRqI0Rst
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcG6Ko85c9W
我寫：「今天有客人說我笑起來很好看。我愣住，然後發現——我剛才真的笑了。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwZQUjK1TT
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHqNRziaNl
我開始拍照。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEgY3YU2Nv
不是自拍，是拍生活。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWocIDCbf1
拍窗台上的小盆栽，拍樓梯轉角的光影，拍阿霞煮咖啡時飛濺的奶泡。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJLAme67JB
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtm0J4DK6vB
原來世界不是灰的。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRo1XEt4Kd3
是我之前被藥物，調成了黑白色。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCPae2bCZo
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPU1uAPCsAZ
某天夜班，我整理收銀機，發現客人看過的報紙留在一旁。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLikqMiIUPn
標題：〈母愛還是操控？代理型孟喬森症候群引發關注〉6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgY2surnvk8
我盯著那名字，像看見一把鑰匙。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphc4BWd6ai
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP21wLhT6YE
我衝去圖書館，查資料，讀案例。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDlm1cAcZ4
原來，我不是第一個。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPCXnezBnt
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRd1er9vPv
原來，這世上真有這種病——6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1tgYCTO4M
照顧者以「愛」為名，製造被照顧者的疾病，6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSSGVgNIdC
只為獲得關注與掌控感。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlytjR87euN
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JNHoC8jNp
我打印資料，錄下母親的語音，整理藥品收據。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFS5cuCp6P
寄給心理協會，寄給記者，寄給曾經診治我的醫生。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPUC1jn1ZW
這次，我附上一句話：「我不是妄想。我是被愛殺了許多年，現在，我要活回來。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDgqXM4Umg
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeyGgXW0t4
三週後，社工上門。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdD9mcf42s
母親在家，笑著迎人：「我可憐的孩子，又發病了，亂寫東西。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhL3mHBM0H
社工看著我，眼神有懷疑，也有不忍。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQccYMFfLAC
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HrQ82tT1h
我沒辯解。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2HlPWneOE
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYv21tN03uB
我打開筆記本，翻到最後一頁：「她給我的藥，成分是XXX。我藏了三年的藥片，都在這裡。你可以送去化驗。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzu8LDWJtu
我從鞋墊下拿出一個小塑膠袋，裡面是上百顆白色、藍色、黃色的藥丸。像一顆顆被藏起來的子彈。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRI5wHRKNF
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgDY7vSm21
社工沉默很久，說：「我們會調查。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOJi3q2QX1
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYseli9gYJN
母親臉色發白。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4yGuorMId
她第一次，沒哭。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yc6LMVPzk
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4HK4fnqnn
一個月後，新聞出來了。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ177eqJQrKf
「憂鬱少女」揭母親操控真相，藥物成鐵證。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIZNdfDOuO
照片裡的我，站在陽光下，沒戴帽子，沒低頭，沒躲。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfquJKxMT7N
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9kmzMYU0j
我說：「我不是病了。我是被弄病的。但現在我知道，我可以把自己，治好。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpEb2za9ot
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjFVH2o4In
母親被限制探視。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiuYl5nIc1
她打電話來，聲音顫抖：「靜餘，妳怎麼能這樣對媽媽？我為妳付出一切……」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWjFOT1Bq9
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3s61rV9Tk
我聽著，心口發疼，但沒哭。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1BYiTScEO
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDBOAVgjZG
「媽，」我說，「妳付出的，不是愛。是控制。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqJvKqOxCP
而我，不需要這種愛，也能活。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusl0nYXJRV
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3IjBZFx2B
我掛了電話。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHa4cAS4rc
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZXtB7kx2V
窗外，雨停了。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YJKbHavN3
陽光穿過雲層，像一把劍，劈開陰霾。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3h8x4vHu7E
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvAJELLHSw
一年後，我站在診所的小講台。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8k0TdnE4DO
台下坐著心理師、社工，還有一群眼神閃躲的「曾經的我」。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQbHJlPqZ8
這是一場關於「代理型孟喬森症候群」的座談會。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5o8HM11NQi
主辦單位問我願不願意分享。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XvtrGj6iW
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tDzNcJLCJ
我想了想，說：「好。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPOUGvBr6O
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqg9nMqQfR
我沒帶稿。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbtqTSsiXX
只說了一件事：「我叫梁靜餘。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRoFo4wvsf
十七歲以前，我以為我的靈魂天生殘缺。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tJG0WsRMU
我以為痛苦，是與生俱來的胎記。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNw5s0cNp9
可後來才知道——6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkSKFJArE3
我的病，是母親的『作品』。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UP1w21hNF
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoSXnqCxUa
台下鴉雀無聲。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5xEsF6KEz
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqXh5sHOAt
「她給我吃藥，偽造病歷，阻斷我的社交，讓我相信：只有她，能救我。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdvLiUmfne
她說：『我比妳更懂痛苦。』可她從未問過，我想要的快樂是什麼。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkuUnaNVOj
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOad5aBqbB
我抬頭，直視攝影機：6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDAEi2gVSo
「她不是惡魔。她只是個害怕被拋棄的女人。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8LkOhvSH7
可她的愛，像一把鎖，把我鎖在病裡，鎖在童年，鎖在她需要我的角色裡。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIosj4oSTDC
而我，差點就死在這把鎖裡。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvviU4Fbbt
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkbwqLuPXk
「但我想告訴所有和我一樣的人——6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRjyefpvlb
不需要靠『病』來證明存在。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcaaF6zZQl
不需要用『痛』，去換一句『媽媽愛妳』。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ132Dc4Yglh
妳可以走出來。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMt1quj09O
妳可以重新學會笑，重新學會生氣，重新學會說『不』。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhG623En24
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJ3rDo7bdT
「我花了三百多天，才敢盯著鏡子裡的自己，不逃。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORgeqt7thR
我花了五百天，才敢去交朋友，不怕被嫌棄。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbTszIEhpY
我現在仍會怕，會抖，會半夜驚醒。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wF0IcY8PF
但我活著。清醒地活著。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7GeBLC1kz
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmSmxml1Kx
我最後說：6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WS62oHQRC
「如果妳正在聽，正在看，正在被『愛』綁架——6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMglQAcD4m
請記住真正的愛，不會讓妳失去自己。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ30N1XU0Te
它會說：『我陪妳。』6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ViNvbUCgE
而不是：『妳只能靠我。』」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnS8sbKvDyz
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwd1mfWLXa7
「而我，梁靜餘，6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡustcUHbu2H
今天站在此地，6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHr4KVsqBuC
不是作為一個『被治癒的病人』，6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLVa3wfPTn
而是作為一個，把自己從地底挖出來的人。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70gEC5eVf9
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡED0MvaQsBh
我走下台。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFjhan4ko0
沒有人鼓掌一開始。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMUObFMJum
然後，一個女孩站起來，哭了。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiM73GkX43
接著，另一個，再一個。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5Xtj0Uyqz
掌聲終於像淚水，6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskLZXbaG7D
落下來。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj86J2O8ric
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb405M005Ll
那天晚上，我夢見母親。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlj5c5xpb6
她站在老屋門口，手裡端著藥杯：「靜餘，回來吧，外面冷。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KHwpYaBWm
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xBFh3D3C1
我搖頭。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXjhbDMKDD
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCJaDbBvQv
「我不冷，」我說：「我有太陽。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TQ2N4uChs
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5km2tiyNjA
她愣住，然後轉身走進屋子，門關上，像一聲歎息。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡde6iZY37Mr
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我醒來，天已亮。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ436LUm0AAJ
手機有訊息。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPA35JKVwur
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是阿霞：「今天咖啡特別香，像有人在笑。」6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJcUCAGiXr
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoH9xBG65sn
我笑了。真的笑了。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrt3aEvSbXX
不是裝的，是從骨子裡長出來的笑。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5T7WsAckq
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我打開筆記本，寫下最後一段：6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlFdAnVHoR
我曾活在母親的雙眼裡。現在，我活在自己的目光中。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2ge3aaqsc
這目光，不再閃躲，不再憂愁，不再畏懼。我存在著。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ519kQ6fCfZ
健康，而且自由。6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEKANrf7fF
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8i5EKrICoJ
6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZATxQnvbL
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