《請跟我交往！拜託啦！》 - 第一章體育課！

大家好，我叫柳困，今年十七歲，是一個看似普通的正常高中生。

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不過，我卻擁有一個不尋常的秘密──我仍然保有前世的記憶。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsNSzmCH9T
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不對，不只前世……就連前前世、前前前世、前前前前世都還記憶猶新。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmS956eMnv
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問我為什麼？419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5wrsTaKjK
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原因很簡單。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccdbh7eLd1
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因為我是個單身狗。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL00auPZmxf
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在死後的世界，也就是「魂界」，神曾經立下一個規定：要談過戀愛，才能在轉生前消除前世的記憶。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QSCyz7zqx
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「沒談過戀愛怎麼能算是活過啊？」那一天，神斜坐在王座上，興高采烈地宣布，「從今天開始，到死前還沒談過戀愛的，一律不准清除自己的記憶！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohrFvdBMWZ
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從那之後，世間開始不時出現保留著前世記憶的神童，他們也都成功地在重生後談了場轟轟烈烈的戀愛，並在死後轉生前順利清除了自己的記憶。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2yKnwNM7o
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除了我以外。

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「喂，我說你啊，」在再次轉生到人間，成為柳困之前，神把我拉到魂界的角落，用責備但幸災樂禍的語氣對我說，「你要加油欸，你已經連續單身了十輩子了，學弟妹全都畢業了，就只剩你一個人還卡在這裡，不覺得羞恥嗎？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUu9NtHl3Od
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「少囉唆！」我惱怒道，「妳也不想想到底是誰的問題！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnDgAPJ1Y7
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「哎呀哎呀，現在是怪我囉？」神擺出無辜的表情。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojg1mh1DjF
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「這輩子！我這輩子一定會脫單的！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpDxSAqM9d
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「你上次也是這麼說。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT070GTUzkL
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「閉嘴！才沒有！」我面紅耳赤，不等祂說完就直接跳進轉生之門。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJdBxNwdEs
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在那之後的十六年後，我進入高中，開始體驗人生中的第十一次青春期。我準備好要應付戀愛這場激烈的戰爭，也希望自己能在這一次的青春期成功脫魯。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDE73GNnGTG
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這個想法，只持續到進入教室的那一刻，遇見「她」為止。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUGy2oiMLG
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「柳困！該起床了啊！」一陣衝擊襲向趴在桌上的我，我一個重心不穩隨著椅子整個人倒在教室冰涼的地板上。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoAKAcuoOY
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「妳搞什麼啊！」我抱怨，起身拍掉制服上沾到的灰塵，「現在不是還在午休時間嗎？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Jk5cznf5P
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「才不是，這節是外堂課欸。」說話的是一位臉頰微微泛紅的女學生。她的右腳舉著，明顯就是剛把我踹下椅子的樣子。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCT5hgyWFbt
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我默默的翻白眼，但是沒有回嘴，避免招來一頓拳頭。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6h3aZeXWKl
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我轉頭看了看四周，同學們都走光了，只剩下空蕩的桌椅。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9euJyt1q0N
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「走囉，體育課。」女學生紅著臉帶頭走出教室，我則跟在她後面。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sQvBUVKPD
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什麼？你說她看起來就像是對我有意思，問我為什麼不跟她交往就好了？419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVSD5oEtiB
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我們再次回到剛剛的話題。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAd7eBetEeM
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在高一時，我遇見了「她」。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUL22KvmHXB
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她有著一頭紫色的長直髮，看到人總是臉頰泛紅，一副害羞的表情，還擁有一個美麗的名字：賴妍。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡki9GuaDxmc
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剛開始，全班的男學生都急著對賴妍獻殷勤，不過到了下學期的時候對她告白的人卻只剩下其他班的學生。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcxnUoGix7
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原因很單純：因為這個人很恐怖。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5YgZm0zfz
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恐怖到甚至被取了「瘋狗」這個外號。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBfzVscEz2
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至於一天到晚臉頰泛紅的原因也不是因為「為了要操控他人」這種複雜的理由，而是因為「酒精」。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLURuV6Hgb7
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賴妍是我在到目前為止的十一個人生裡面，見過唯一一個可以在午餐時間拿整瓶五十度烈酒配完白飯的女人。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvVIm7rhJy
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永遠沒人知道她喝醉之後下一件會做出什麼超乎常理的事。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ172hEiFb3X
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我們兩人快步走到操場，看見體育老師早就已經帶完操，放同學去打球了，所以我直接略過暖身，自己抓了一顆地上的籃球，走到籃球場練習投籃。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjcODPaQHE
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「同學！」我投進第三球時，體育老師吹起哨子，「請不要在操場喝小米酒！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGED18L5jym
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我馬上轉頭，看見一旁換好體育服的賴妍把一隻腳放在長椅上，仰起頭抓著酒瓶猛灌。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOvkmB3FHS

如果把背景換成公園，那她看起來就像一個普通的公園醉漢。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6l5l4wtEY5
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但是這裡是學校啊！

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「可是老師，我在暖身欸。」賴妍把酒一口氣喝完然後發出「噗哈」的聲音，接著用手背豪氣的抹抹嘴，最後啐了一口痰在操場外的草皮上。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJMlUnsmK2
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這不是完全就是公園裡的醉漢嗎！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZcZrUJFRN
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71DtXUZSeE

「那邊那位同學！」體育老師又朝另一邊大喊，「請不要在體育課投擲燃燒瓶！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQLdkoekfm
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「可是老師，我在暖身耶。」手裡握著燃燒瓶正準備要丟的男同學停下動作。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3miE9d3Zwi
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這貨的名字叫簡澄，不知為何，他對燃燒瓶有著近乎癡狂的異常執著，不論是何種問題、處境都會想使用燃燒瓶來解決。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuTvD2M3Go
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對他來說，世界上不存在他的燃燒瓶解決不了的事物。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodspAJB6dE
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有時候問題甚至還真的能夠解決，不過這只讓他變本加厲。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDoVpm5Url
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像是現在。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3vlHXjxVN
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你根本是在幫其他同學暖身吧！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENYFpTHZit
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你旁邊的女同學已經快要哭出來了啊！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpm86HWsxm5
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體育老師也快來阻止一下他吧！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHy4pMJW9R0
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「那暖身完記得收起來喔。」體育老師又繼續回頭看他的閣樓雜誌。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWfIqOzyPE
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你這體育老師也太淡定了吧！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTnvN3KcqD
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至少先給我把閣樓雜誌收起來啊！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGNUDSRtvT
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在簡澄下手之前，另一位男同學抓住了他的手腕。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMItx40G0VS
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「住手吧，簡澄boy，這樣不cool喔。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12t51UyByt

男同學一手抓住簡澄，一手按在自己的臉上。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUr8RC1KSR
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「可惡，最麻煩的傢伙出現了…」簡澄低聲抱怨。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2wGfoaKt7
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「你的惡行，就由我冥界的魔之眷屬 · 暗爪的歐威爾，依你的行為施以制ㄘㄞ────」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp32jBG4u1U
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「三岐，你的錢包掉了。」我走過去，撿起掉在暗爪的歐威爾身旁的錢包。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hz9i0fdKc
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「……我不是三岐，我是鋼爪的歐威爾。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2v036CA9x
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「你剛剛說暗爪。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdre7pQCWrJ
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「不，柳困boy，我很清楚我是誰，」他一手放在胸前，一手放在身後，雙腳交叉向我行禮。

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「我，是冥界的邪王 · 鋼爪的麥歐爾，出自於冥界的望族，進入人間是為了要拯救我的妹妹，也就是冥界的公主，鎖鏈的康妮。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jOhEBAnlo
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「你本來說歐威爾。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxCjZLa16c
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「那、那是一時口誤……」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOFrDoufMG
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「你，」我嚴肅的對著他說，「根本不知道自己是誰對吧？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIyRR4SI7m
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「不…我不……」他按著額頭，露出痛苦的神色，在地上打滾。「不行……！『魂』…滾出我的腦海啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95Vtvy6Oli
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「邪王好弱。」我發牢騷。話說回來，魂界也沒有邪王這種東西就是了。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKg3Scurudp
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「這個給你，振作起來吧，」簡澄把手中的燃燒瓶遞給他，為他加油打氣，「你可沒有這麼容易倒下！因為……419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKExDXzwWP2
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「因為你可是……我的宿敵啊。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wYKNAmKPM
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簡澄露出了豪氣的笑容，把手伸向在地上的三岐。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pHhmQo3Qj
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三岐擦乾淚水，回握住簡澄的手，正準備從地上爬起的時候，「有沒有人～看到我的～瓶～～～～子～～～～～～～～～」被喝的爛醉的賴妍一腳踩在後腦。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefG7hiFPaV
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「你不是說只要暖身嗎！」「被」趴在地上的三岐吐槽。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MoxSg0hgQ
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「喔呀…？」賴妍往下一看，「早安啊三岐同學～在那裡玩會弄髒身體喔？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPm9gLdV8SB
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「妳先從我身上下來啊！」三岐掙扎。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeFyStvai2
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「喔喔喔喔！好像在玩衝浪喔！」賴妍努力維持平衡。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVa8zULJrTo
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「妳這是……在噗喔小看我身為暗印者的力量嗎……？」三岐說到一半還吃到土。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTdoc2jP5u
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「衝浪了喔喔喔喔喔！」賴妍開心的大笑。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCgAbDa5fQ
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她根本就沒在聽啊！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyGb8iCEl5
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「同學！」體育老師從看雜誌的姿勢抬頭，

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「不要霸凌有精神障礙的同學好嗎！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqZAsHLSpR
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他只是中二病還沒好而已啊！為什麼變成精神障礙了！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7zxiWPGQI
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「可是老師你看三岐，」在賴妍腳下的三岐已經整張臉埋在土裡了，「他玩的很開心耶。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaO6NCmqfs
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「唔唔唔唔唔唔唔唔！」三岐口齒不清的哀嚎。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTh8dohzYH
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「注意不要讓同學受傷喔。」體育老師繼續看閣樓雜誌。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLqh8eny3z
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這已經不是受傷的問題了吧！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XAH8z3SZ2
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhaWKtirsm

所以說給我把雜誌收起來啊！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYRNFetV3o
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzbrdSNDn0

「夠唔喔了吧！」臉不斷砸向地板的三岐好不容易擠出一句話。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAdzlN4DJP
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「…………」賴妍臉一僵，慢慢低頭，看著她腳底下不斷扭動的三岐。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgZPa32KfR
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKgKCBsYXa

「我、我的衝浪板會說話…好噁心喔……」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5exfIbiOB2
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRuri16Dp0

她眼眶泛紅，吸了一次鼻子。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLSkKQfmZG
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兩次。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyUYaMHTdY
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「嗚嗚………………」賴妍開始不顧一切地大哭。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAUzbaxjbj
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbUo6oeIPd

「三岐同學真壞。」

419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Pg6jKVPY3

「好糟糕喔。」

419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNObi80lkq0

「竟然害奇怪的東西哭了。」旁邊圍觀的同學們開始交頭接耳。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZjiPl6wtJ
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhd65MUX9s

說別人是奇怪的東西也太過份了吧！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXt6vpqkY8w
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttMTIo2jTG

「所以現在是我的問題囉！」三岐好不容易從嚎啕大哭的賴妍腳下逃開。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2NQYMlpy5
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMBFgDU2eb

「喂！誰來安慰她一下啊！」一位男同學慌張的大喊。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgwMHMGwOc
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3Svwg5TaV

「我能讓他冷靜一下。」簡澄拿出燃燒瓶。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggNY4urd91
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXapTZ3E1s9

「你只是要讓她熱起來吧！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKZOGdHFTQ
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mT5DQtMto

「被吾封印的眷屬呦，僅從吾之召喚───」三岐振振有詞。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyQoLlA7Jf
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbj04Y9VDWr

「你是要安慰她還是收了她啊啊！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCUs7kgKn1
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6l2Ny0ic5

「收了她。」三岐露出一副理所當然的表情。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEVwwwahCy
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6IIG8rx09

「你們根本是來亂的吧！」你們別亂搞，我等等還要收尾啊！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoVoulSzmz
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmnne6WTpB

「年輕人們。」不知道何時走到我們旁邊的體育老師開口了，「就憑你們是無法解決這種毀滅性天災的。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8m60Uts23Y
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34i38PQpm9

「為什麼又從奇怪的東西變成毀滅性天災！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnXkh9Zmfs
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YoPMNZUeu

「因為奇怪的東西放久了本來就會變成毀滅性天災。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHIkqi5Lt7
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9ED7ZfFt7

我不是在問這個啊啊啊啊啊！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnKxOkM3UB
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzJxwNf6T2

老師又開口說：「現在，我就讓你們看看，真正的『大人的辦法』。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGB0n9N30z
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwR7pIskIp0

「『大人的辦法』……」簡澄看著老師嚴肅的臉，吞了口口水。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIahcQdH96
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ylsi4LbEm

「賴妍同學。」他走到賴妍面前。賴妍因為震驚而暫時忘記了哭泣。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnFHdWfuo6
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGygnq9rMXt

話說我們的體育老師是一位看上去年過四十的大叔，比班上所有除了我以外的同學都還要早經歷了傳說中的青春期，再加上已經在這所高中任職了十年以上，所以應該也有足夠的能力與經驗能解決這種事ㄑ────419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcBrLwIC6N
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「你看，這是丁丁。」他脫下褲子。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjLnY7VB6Q
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    是真正意義上的『讓你們看看』啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjlyeGWNNe
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  當日結果：419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FNymB1oyT

賴妍平安無事（哭累了被女同學背回教室）。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOdyv7mTHN
簡澄打電話報警，體育老師於上課中被警察抓走，兩人前往警局做筆錄。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbXyr4kAtY
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三岐臉部異常腫脹，被帶去了醫務室。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OQ69QE047
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其他同學（包括柳困）於下一節正常上課。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4TdQnDKBD
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcmZf1HGE1

柳困依然單身。

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第一章 體育課！

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第一章體育課！