同學們面面相覷。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVdeJvqi7Y
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「那個……您是不是走錯教室了呢？」身為班長的我起身詢問。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVy6hCHQQfZ
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「啊，你們的數學老師請假，所以今天是我代課喔。」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHIKWwonu3
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「咦咦？沒用的老東西請假？」賴妍驚訝的問。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJskTl0T4y
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「請不要叫數學老師沒用的老東西。」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Vg5WbZRzn
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「那改成老不羞好了。」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOebYee1s1
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「更糟糕了啊！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykdnYK3YUr
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPF1r2qqns

「咳，總之，」代課老師乾咳一聲打斷我們的對話，「請各位打開課本第……為什麼桌上有酒瓶？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJ7xIjKDhx
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVhOS93zM3

「因為上一節是化學課。」正在製作燃燒瓶的簡澄說。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAQ0N0DOtK
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「那你桌上正在燒的酒精燈是怎樣？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudwekfcUQq
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「老師，它正在暖身。」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5cM6ukBXE
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「它是要暖什麼身啊！給我拿回去實驗室放好！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKY6oqzpVU
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「我要去！」賴妍自告奮勇的起身。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAJCryt5js
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQM96CTU8ul

「給我坐下，妳不值得信賴。」我不耐煩的說。「三岐，你去放。」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhImSSrhkw
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「那我改姓三岐。」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtnIFIA2tJ
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「才不是這個意思！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiWbG91Jxn
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「而且為什麼是三岐！」剛剛還趴著的三岐抗議。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡje7KKHVOqv
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「少囉唆！快點給我去放！」我用課本敲三岐的頭，「別跟著搗亂上課秩序好嗎？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQy0sJIuFm
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「汝等下級生物，竟敢命令本元帥，看我痛啊啊啊啊啊啊！」三岐的話還沒說完就被我再次用力敲頭，不過這次用的是不鏽鋼水壺。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9mFticJqd
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「元帥好弱。」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2j65fuYbz
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「你根本是想殺了我吧！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3DRRModix
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「同學們！請安靜！」代課老師看起來有些惱火。「全部給我翻開課本！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktPWrdSkGZ
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6nysFMxgO

「老師。」賴妍突然嚴肅的開口，「你覺得數學的意義到底是什麼？數學又是為何而存在？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIRby99U2b
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTcc2fGMgW

「數學是為何而存在…………？」老師陷入沉思。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwc0AgcnFo
  除了賴妍之外的同學們臉色一沉。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2sXScuNV8
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「老師！別中計啊！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzHckwyL98
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「這傢伙的腦子才不會思考這種深奧的東西呢！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWG9w05hqh
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「她只是單純不想上數學課而已啊！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNdMIcG0ae
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    不過老師抬起手制止了那些警告他的同學。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1WDwGmVUP
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBYE2SZe3h

「我認為……」在思考片刻之後，老師開口，

「數學是使生活變得更方便的工具。」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Q4Cvdg94n
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「真的是這樣嗎？」賴妍問。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfmBnk7OTh
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MvF2C4Eaq

「古埃及人與巴比倫人靠著幾何學的幫助，建造出了許多壯觀的建築物！牛頓發明的微積分也間接造福了許多人類！」老師越說越激動，「所以我才會選擇就讀數學系，成為數學老師！數學對我來說就是世界的真理！就是絕對的信仰！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBv9huk1da
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxwxOoDziD

「那……如果我說，」賴妍緩緩開口，「我能反駁你的論點呢？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoaCXd5jGp
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「什──」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKkL5lEYop
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「如果我能證明…………數學並不是世界的真理呢？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKtpyTXjTX
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabYJx9RJwk

「臭小鬼！妳明白妳在說什麼嗎！妳說的話是對神的褻瀆！」代課老師憤怒地吼道。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVU1MC2SwmE
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXLyvOtpCk

「那個，班長，」坐在我後面的男同學輕聲對我說，「這部不是日常番嗎？為什麼會出現戰鬥番的台詞？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44SbkbUplL
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYbiP7aLPQ

「我也很好奇啊！而且現在不是數學課嗎！」

  

  最重要的是，代課老師已經在不知不覺間步入了賴妍「不想上課」的節奏之中，這才是她被稱為瘋狗的最大原因。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgbAaZ9sNw
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    真正恐怖的地方還在後頭。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kPtnK7RT6
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「老師……你知道數學的英文，Math的意義，其實是Mental Abuse To Humans，也就是人類精神虐待的意思喔？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHGA0YRsrg
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2Pl7JkU8c

「那只是討厭數學的人提出的可悲巧合而已！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6d7jfon1g
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    賴妍歪頭。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3JJ1d9IPO
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「如果數學是真理，為什麼有人會討厭祂呢？」她問道。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNiTUyKKuv
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjoCd9NJQB5

「因為世界上總是有許多自以為是的人！他們只因為生活不如預期，就怪罪到神聖的信仰上面！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVawMrSKvi
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RstngiXfy

「生活不如預期？你是指生活中的事發生無法用真理解釋的情況嗎？還是生活並沒有想像中的便利？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMWHceVbM5
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「世上所有的事情一定都有辦法用真理來說明！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWyRLdS6Xk
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwKvBVzsQR

「真的嗎？」賴妍正色道，「那我舉個簡單的例子吧。您有看過商店中『買二送一』的活動嗎？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QbnaGjxCN
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「當然有。」代課老師不耐煩地回答。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRkZ9j1n7P
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「那麼一加一等於幾？這只是單純的數學問題，不是腦筋急轉彎喔。」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGsbwQAWAo
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「一加一等於二。」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygb9QUhh8a
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「啊咧？奇怪了？」賴妍故意用困惑的語氣說到，「我只付了兩個物品的價錢，為什麼我得到了三倍的利潤？好奇怪吶～」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7mAMSJGOw
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「……咦？」老師愣住了。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVf4yC2s2P
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「這樣子算式就變成了『一加一等於三』而不是真理所說的二了呢。」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1nEFx24lX
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「什…怎麼會……」代課老師開始感到恐慌。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6Kddn3FTN
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「老師別中計啊！那只是一種行銷手法而已啊！」我大喊。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoF5mqv6A2V
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「我…但是、但是一加一應該……還是等於二啊…………？」代課老師緩緩抬頭，用困惑而渙散的眼神看著我，就像一位瀕臨崩潰的精神病患者。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBenDQFjDys
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    完蛋了。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAvXoM0As6
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「我再舉一個例子吧。」賴妍再次開口。「剛剛說了一加一等於三，但是這也不是正確答案。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaX2rNjnYE
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYk6BRAMhHt

「您應該也知道結婚是什麼吧？就是長期的一對一賣春契約。」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pOIkfmR7E
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「才不是這樣！」我吐槽。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQxSyd5Aws
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLzWnojFd6

「好奇怪吶。住在我家隔壁的王叔叔明明結婚了，為什麼最近兩個月，在王阿姨不在的週五晚上，還會出現另外六個女人陪他過夜呢？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNWfag6zdX
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqoVx8FanC

「這種事情你應該早點去跟王阿姨說才對吧！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvB729FGbJ
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDbm1t5EDT

「咦咦，」賴妍不理我，「一加一不是等於三嗎？為什麼同時又等於八呢？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDS4JbIFInD
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUp12Avi6u

「為什麼啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師抱住頭，驚慌失措地尖叫。「為什麼真理要遺棄我啊啊啊啊！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTU9r8qTZ9D
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJnTrcuDgu

「沒錯，就是因為人們被你所說的真理拋棄，才會轉而討厭，甚至憎恨數學。對他們來說，數學不只不是世界上的真理，更不是讓生活變得更方便的工具！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhm6nGqHK9q
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKQYsAs8nu

    賴妍深呼吸，補上了最後一擊：「對他們來說，數學只是讓生活更不方便的枷鎖！只是阻礙人類發展的、根本沒有存在必要的、無用垃圾而已啊！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHt5iKsIVk
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「啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊……」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ789B6peGSZ
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IdCI6q0SX

    老師緩緩蹲下，雙手抱住膝蓋，露出自己長久以來深信的事情在一夕之間被摧毀的表情。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMk1RTMlhQ
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  這時，去化學教室放酒精燈的三岐回來了。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfa6pD0dekN

    老師彷彿看見了希望一般，朝著三岐跑過去，抓住了他的肩膀，用力地前後搖動。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUON7ruyDY9
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「同學！一加一等於多少！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DyjKptcda
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJbJErptsE

「咦？」在狀況外的三岐很錯愕。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7hHys9AsM
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpevHVzl0N5

    賴妍露出了勝利的微笑，坐回位子上，舒服的翹起二郎腿，抓著桌上的白蘭地仰頭灌了一大口。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0p7R07R1A6
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「到底等於多少啊啊啊啊啊！！！」代課老師瘋狂地大喊。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUlDswTvVV
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUktxV2roN

「等、等於五十……」一天到晚吃麥O勞的三岐結結巴巴的回答。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrCTqA8TeO
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「三等於八、八等於五十……等式應該不成立才…三又等於五十……啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師崩潰了，尖叫著衝出了教室。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmgsM2FaDc
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    全班盯著三岐。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIr36NMZi1s
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「欸？我做錯什麼了嗎？」三岐很錯愕。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdeMjmLGZW
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    賴妍抬頭看了一眼教室牆上的時鐘。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBDCS3UT7S
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「呦喜！多賺到了半小時下課時間。」她握拳。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiRNzqmR01
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「呦喜妳個大頭！他被你弄壞了啦！」我慌張地大喊，「全班快點出去幫忙找代課老師啊！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBghSLlIRf
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當日結果：303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYhb1ckTbW
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    在數學科辦公室全體數學老師的幫忙下，於放學前在校舍頂樓的花圃角落發現了喃喃自語著「三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十我被神拋棄了嗚嗚嗚我要成為一棵用費波納契數列整齊排列的植物三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十…」的代課老師，並送到附近醫院的精神科治療。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnudeO5neUT
303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZTUxw5qte

    賴妍被記了一支大過（目前總共七支）。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ytjyVvPO7
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    柳困依然單身。303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfLx2YHMdg