Ben809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2iqq7tR9q
809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCKl4MOGbJ
February 14, 2005
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Same day
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I see her across the room. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZc49YTecpL
809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBroOyIaAx5
Of course I see her.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RdFvcBxAF
I always see her.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBNLHnOKLz
And she's just as fucking beautiful as always. Maybe even more so.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJMooGulF9
Damn it.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1wWBPBCpq
I need to stop looking at her. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1w5DKg129
This is fucking Valentine's Day. The Holiday for desperate chicks, so why the fuck am I sitting here alone?809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaJ880fIaP
You already know the answer to that, you fucking idiot. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYSwBPkiSm
Damn it.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcS2jVn4JS
I scan the room for the thousandth time. My gaze lands on her, like it always does. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXuYS45HC6
I want her so much, it physically hurts. I couldn't think about anyone else, even if I wanted to.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKJFHpcBLc
I don't want to. I want her, only her. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCioyqqump
But I fucked it up. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEi2UsKDOFi
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Of course I fucked it up.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmK3N0YZSmF
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Because I'm a fucking idiot.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXy7oZCga29
And now she really hates me. She's been avoiding me this whole time. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYN3ZJDCgVE
It feels like a fucking knife in my chest every time I see her and she's not near me.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkLo4qHbey
I need to touch her soft skin. I want to kiss her sexy lips. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAX2UNDDUO1
Can lips be sexy?809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0tnKTYCVv
I don't know, but hers are. Everything about her is perfect. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4FAtaTWJa
I need her. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYv0HAb81L
A blonde approaches me, Karen, I think. Fuck, I don't know. Who cares. She pushes her arms up in an attempt to display more of her tits and any other time, I would have been interested.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CO5pXCBKd
It's feels like that was another life. Everything feels so different now.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToBGzNYIr7
"Hey Ben." She says my name like it's supposed to mean something, but I couldn't care less about what she wants.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuv08I0DUK
Oh shit, I think I may have fooled around with her before. Maybe?809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPDPf9Oybb
"Hey, sorry, I gotta go. See you around." I stand quickly without a plan of where to go, but I figure I can hide from everyone in my room. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxINp2Vl4N
Even her.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWujUEf9Ew
I close the door, locking everyone out and stumble to my bed in the dark. Shit, I drank too much trying to ignore the girl across the room. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb36SYJ9Enu
I feel something strange as I lay down...809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGIyeDzmbB
I'm not alone. Fuck! Who the hell is in my bed?809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifaY3POq7y
"Ben?" I hear her groggy voice and instantly relax. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAIG8Dw5cR
"Kat? What the fuck? You scared the hell out of me!" Why is she in my bed? Was she sleeping?809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQHGT6nxlr
"What are you doing here?" Her confusion coming through her scratchy voice.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYqzIMueHR
"What do you mean? In case you forgot, this is my room." I'm too amused to be irritated. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PPlfSRNQh
"Oh." She seems to realize where she's at. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbbqVgjCKb
"Oh." I chuckle. God, she's so fucking adorable.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nPAYnSTRt
"Sorry." I can hear the embarrassment in her voice and even though I can't see her in the dark, I know she's blushing. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP90ajwBoNy
She moves, in a hurry to get up and probably run away from the asshole that I am. I need to make her stop. I don't want her to leave.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBu9UwolTOi
"What are you doing in here, Kat?" I hope my question will be enough of a reason to stay at least a few minutes longer. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOqCNWBTKn
It's not. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0r2cCOgmF
She stands up quickly, just as a crash sounds through the room. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSOJBB6071
"Oh shit! Ben, I think I knocked something over." I can hear her scurry around, feeling for whatever it was.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQAdSHOx0P
I laugh. Nothing in my room is that important. "Don't worry about it, Kat."809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8SwThM1VG
"Don't worry about it?!? I'm pretty sure there's broken glass down here!" She's frantically feeling around. She's going to get herself hurt.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFQfVEgjS3
"That's all the more reason to not feel around in the dark. Seriously, Kat. It's fine. Stop before you hurt yourself." I hear her sigh, but she stops her movement. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUCjxIDU7V
"Now, tell me. What were you doing laying in my bed? Not that I'm complaining." Shit, that last part wasn't supposed to come out.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfYBmsnMiW
I feel the bed sink next to me as she sits down. "I just needed to... get away."809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWSYyVlYLu
"I know the feeling." I sigh. What I don't say is I was mostly trying to get away from her.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiI5291k9k
"You do? You know what it feels like for all you friends to be in happy relationships and worried about you and your sad pathetic life?" She lets out a huff. Damn. I was not expecting that.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVqGN9sef9
"Uh... Yes?" She gives a humorless chuckle and I can just see her eyes rolling. "Well, I mean, I kinda do. Actually. I guess I just never thought about it like that before."809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNXjaUM4gt
"Oh." Well, that shut her up, which would usually be a good thing, but I'm not sure what the fuck to say.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcHSaexSGl
I decide to use this moment to beg for her forgiveness. "Listen, I just want to say, I am really sorry. For everything. I know you're not a fan of starting over, but do you think maybe you could forgive me?"809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUORpPYSLS
She scoffs. "Oh please, like its that easy. You don't even mean that."809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9C3JeyZuu
"I do too. More than anything. What can I do to make it up to you?" I would do just about anything she asks, I just hope she does forgive me.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrU8tlGpujo
"Nothing. There's nothing... at... all... Wait! I have an idea." I can hear the smile in her voice. Oh shit, why do I feel so nervous?809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cM7zQGD5z
She keeps talking, not waiting for my response. "Okay! Just hear me out before you say anything. Okay?"809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9iyUOR50I
Again, I couldn't get a word in before she barrels on. "Okay. So, I think we should date."809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxua9tbdxFh
I can't stop the sound that erupts from my chest. It's somewhere between a laugh and a choking sound. I'm so in shock that my body has broken.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLqQakLJ8Y
"I-uh... You-what?" Words. What are words? 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLGF9zEq1L
"Okay, before you shut me down." I wasn't going to. "It's not real. We can just pretend to date."809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pmAGmZXjv
"Why the fuck would we do that?" Okay, now I'm really confused.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA32prbnNqf
"Because I really need this. And you said anything!" She throws my words back in my face.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbJ5he6bhz
I groan and rub my hands down my face. What the fuck did I just get myself in to? 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfS4XHCEYn
"Okay, okay. Just give me a minute... to... to..." To what? What the fuck is there to think about? I can't say no. "Just give me a minute to process... all of this."809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKqGRh4urI
"Sure, take your time." I feel her shift on the bed as she lays down. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9sCjpWiFd
"Make yourself at home." I half joke, because I honestly don't mind her laying in my bed.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOzL6y4Onl
She just giggles, stretching out to get comfortable. Damn. I really missed that sound. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYXL6HK7sj
I missed everything about her.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLpSnNyozm
I'm going to have to do this. Pretend to be with the girl that I can't stop thinking about. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLimE7nSAoi
Shouldn't be too hard to fake feelings, it's the keeping them fake part that's going to be a struggle. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpW8mRR0ZkA
"Why exactly do you need this?" I have a right to know why we are doing this, don't l?809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcP0MtPGx8m
She sighs. "Does it really matter?" 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNuzJn95Gu
"Before I agree to your crazy scheme, I need to know why we are doing it in the first place." Why can't it just be real? Of course, I don't say that out loud because I'm a huge pussy.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQWXBpP8PC
"Okay, fair enough. Everyone has been treating me like I'm fragile since the whole... you know... happened." I lay down next to her on my back.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGU71lglf5e
"The whole you know?" I'm completely confused. What the fuck is she talking about? 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqVKvtWrXn
"You know... New Year's Eve?" She sounds embarrassed, but I still don't understand.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqopvZYmUmg
"Why would they treat you differently because of that?" Maybe I'm missing something?809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHN3rfGSjc
"Uh... because of... what happened... with you." Shit. This is all because of me? 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6SIQtQu8u
"Oh... I didn't... I didn't know." I can't believe she has been struggling and it's all my fault.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVHMmdGplf
"So uhm... Yeah... They act like I'm going to break, so I'm sick of being pitied and worried about and I just want to be normal... And you can help with that. Two birds, one stone. You know?"809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiPE8yDsEK
"Uh, am I the birds or the stones here?" I chuckle. She's so weird sometimes. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrz8V7mqYd7
She laughs. "Well, I guess the stone."809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3e9oQ5F1wo
"Okay, so what are the birds?" I'm barely able to hold my laughter in to get the sentence out.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EJObHIU7x
"Wait. No. That's wrong. You're a bird!" She sounds excited, like she's made a huge discovery or something.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnb4aEfJJq
"So... I'm a bird now?" Seriously... She is the most adorable person I know.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtrIlhFj5D
"Okay, everyone is worried about me because they think you broke my heart or whatever. So, bird one is you. And everyone pities me because I'm single. So, being a pathetic loser is bird two."809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2MTWnqc2a
I turn on my side to face her. "You are not a pathetic loser." Completely ignoring the fact she said I broke her heart.809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3wIDsDd3A
"I most certainly am. That's why I need this. If I can just throw the stone of our fake relationship at the birds, everything will be okay." Exhaustion fills her voice as she turns to face me. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8a7DqNNkYN
I can't help but notice we are only inches apart. I can feel her breath on my face. If I leaned forward a fraction of an inch, our noses would be touching. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5TdRZVKeM
Shit. This is bad. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmUQzTqrqx
Faking it is going to be so hard. 809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcq1ELyWIp
"So... What do you say, Little Birdie? You in?" Her laugh echoing into the core of my being, reverberating and filling my chest.
I find her hand and pull it to my face, placing a kiss on it. "Let's throw that rock."809Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcQB4xAe7Q
I am so fucked.
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