Ben836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuXLwPJkZ1
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAn4MuQ26eP
February 14, 2005
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Same day
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I see her across the room. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4bGMKqZjo
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFcfudwqHH
Of course I see her.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3hzL1dXEc
I always see her.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH924ObqV6G
And she's just as fucking beautiful as always. Maybe even more so.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xeVp2lHnw
Damn it.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mOa8ZF0KT
I need to stop looking at her. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmKmNVlNDQ
This is fucking Valentine's Day. The Holiday for desperate chicks, so why the fuck am I sitting here alone?836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdS0xGoFjpN
You already know the answer to that, you fucking idiot. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMfjbNzThA
Damn it.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXIqPDQXbV
I scan the room for the thousandth time. My gaze lands on her, like it always does. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjkdDcXXHM
I want her so much, it physically hurts. I couldn't think about anyone else, even if I wanted to.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrh0yhKaERH
I don't want to. I want her, only her. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAIK9SOmxA
But I fucked it up. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡja2obHKsnI
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVFgbwi990
Of course I fucked it up.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2TxZxt5cM
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygG1TEOo9k
Because I'm a fucking idiot.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Q827pcY5A
And now she really hates me. She's been avoiding me this whole time. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzOEjkPwGv
It feels like a fucking knife in my chest every time I see her and she's not near me.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovIU1L0A5J
I need to touch her soft skin. I want to kiss her sexy lips. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQs94OSGvlm
Can lips be sexy?836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOJSobVbKk
I don't know, but hers are. Everything about her is perfect. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRiz4V1GJp
I need her. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeEePOIqKu
A blonde approaches me, Karen, I think. Fuck, I don't know. Who cares. She pushes her arms up in an attempt to display more of her tits and any other time, I would have been interested.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGauFPcLbW
It's feels like that was another life. Everything feels so different now.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYgbAjc4Gp
"Hey Ben." She says my name like it's supposed to mean something, but I couldn't care less about what she wants.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3hoVq5J7B
Oh shit, I think I may have fooled around with her before. Maybe?836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyNJT63Ax8
"Hey, sorry, I gotta go. See you around." I stand quickly without a plan of where to go, but I figure I can hide from everyone in my room. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxXzVoYdqy
Even her.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFA3TbuWwMI
I close the door, locking everyone out and stumble to my bed in the dark. Shit, I drank too much trying to ignore the girl across the room. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRZ5FDfgRn
I feel something strange as I lay down...836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPl6nB9T0z9
I'm not alone. Fuck! Who the hell is in my bed?836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQHxONS0cu
"Ben?" I hear her groggy voice and instantly relax. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG62TlaGdLF
"Kat? What the fuck? You scared the hell out of me!" Why is she in my bed? Was she sleeping?836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpd1e8MucON
"What are you doing here?" Her confusion coming through her scratchy voice.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MHlSZOJkn
"What do you mean? In case you forgot, this is my room." I'm too amused to be irritated. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJM3JlJcfn
"Oh." She seems to realize where she's at. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCS2ekMCnZ
"Oh." I chuckle. God, she's so fucking adorable.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BshSxipy7
"Sorry." I can hear the embarrassment in her voice and even though I can't see her in the dark, I know she's blushing. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSgkrjzer4
She moves, in a hurry to get up and probably run away from the asshole that I am. I need to make her stop. I don't want her to leave.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GOapqavLu
"What are you doing in here, Kat?" I hope my question will be enough of a reason to stay at least a few minutes longer. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNh6pMjP2o
It's not. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZ7Dd37Oxm
She stands up quickly, just as a crash sounds through the room. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29DjtXQALM
"Oh shit! Ben, I think I knocked something over." I can hear her scurry around, feeling for whatever it was.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69mkOloBhH
I laugh. Nothing in my room is that important. "Don't worry about it, Kat."836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHtJzsLHD4
"Don't worry about it?!? I'm pretty sure there's broken glass down here!" She's frantically feeling around. She's going to get herself hurt.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1oYAZG82m
"That's all the more reason to not feel around in the dark. Seriously, Kat. It's fine. Stop before you hurt yourself." I hear her sigh, but she stops her movement. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2ZlQtPyd3
"Now, tell me. What were you doing laying in my bed? Not that I'm complaining." Shit, that last part wasn't supposed to come out.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEs8RGZriZ
I feel the bed sink next to me as she sits down. "I just needed to... get away."836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIt2kHZ9gS
"I know the feeling." I sigh. What I don't say is I was mostly trying to get away from her.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsC3wHt10Dw
"You do? You know what it feels like for all you friends to be in happy relationships and worried about you and your sad pathetic life?" She lets out a huff. Damn. I was not expecting that.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMdGFPHhvk
"Uh... Yes?" She gives a humorless chuckle and I can just see her eyes rolling. "Well, I mean, I kinda do. Actually. I guess I just never thought about it like that before."836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuM8qpq2fTz
"Oh." Well, that shut her up, which would usually be a good thing, but I'm not sure what the fuck to say.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2VH1Md83r
I decide to use this moment to beg for her forgiveness. "Listen, I just want to say, I am really sorry. For everything. I know you're not a fan of starting over, but do you think maybe you could forgive me?"836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrynQVZ7Tt
She scoffs. "Oh please, like its that easy. You don't even mean that."836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhdWAZBE0M
"I do too. More than anything. What can I do to make it up to you?" I would do just about anything she asks, I just hope she does forgive me.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0hYg1DA4J
"Nothing. There's nothing... at... all... Wait! I have an idea." I can hear the smile in her voice. Oh shit, why do I feel so nervous?836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKT7XXhCiu
She keeps talking, not waiting for my response. "Okay! Just hear me out before you say anything. Okay?"836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaSe1WG5WX
Again, I couldn't get a word in before she barrels on. "Okay. So, I think we should date."836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA25ttyK079
I can't stop the sound that erupts from my chest. It's somewhere between a laugh and a choking sound. I'm so in shock that my body has broken.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcJGULjBcS
"I-uh... You-what?" Words. What are words? 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48uyIM4Eub
"Okay, before you shut me down." I wasn't going to. "It's not real. We can just pretend to date."836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRblQV9OBCS
"Why the fuck would we do that?" Okay, now I'm really confused.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTAAxPpbxh
"Because I really need this. And you said anything!" She throws my words back in my face.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEGgtFZMZo
I groan and rub my hands down my face. What the fuck did I just get myself in to? 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHTV9DeAqc
"Okay, okay. Just give me a minute... to... to..." To what? What the fuck is there to think about? I can't say no. "Just give me a minute to process... all of this."836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSRN6I1QZL
"Sure, take your time." I feel her shift on the bed as she lays down. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5IkKOOdZ4
"Make yourself at home." I half joke, because I honestly don't mind her laying in my bed.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBkdKb675K
She just giggles, stretching out to get comfortable. Damn. I really missed that sound. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yFNtVQqEw
I missed everything about her.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIwxGwFBHf
I'm going to have to do this. Pretend to be with the girl that I can't stop thinking about. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxcjRHJ1qd
Shouldn't be too hard to fake feelings, it's the keeping them fake part that's going to be a struggle. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZlImEhW1j
"Why exactly do you need this?" I have a right to know why we are doing this, don't l?836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vwjdPKBhA
She sighs. "Does it really matter?" 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QVGfilv1N
"Before I agree to your crazy scheme, I need to know why we are doing it in the first place." Why can't it just be real? Of course, I don't say that out loud because I'm a huge pussy.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfCTWEnLdP
"Okay, fair enough. Everyone has been treating me like I'm fragile since the whole... you know... happened." I lay down next to her on my back.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97jtKMRlar
"The whole you know?" I'm completely confused. What the fuck is she talking about? 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWAuYQSUsK
"You know... New Year's Eve?" She sounds embarrassed, but I still don't understand.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwssyqaz15
"Why would they treat you differently because of that?" Maybe I'm missing something?836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagDO3qDk9e
"Uh... because of... what happened... with you." Shit. This is all because of me? 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdjyr9CmDt
"Oh... I didn't... I didn't know." I can't believe she has been struggling and it's all my fault.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPWI3PCEd2
"So uhm... Yeah... They act like I'm going to break, so I'm sick of being pitied and worried about and I just want to be normal... And you can help with that. Two birds, one stone. You know?"836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJNj5LL4Bb
"Uh, am I the birds or the stones here?" I chuckle. She's so weird sometimes. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6F1Mjyabjb
She laughs. "Well, I guess the stone."836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmUW7G5eSa
"Okay, so what are the birds?" I'm barely able to hold my laughter in to get the sentence out.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXTihmLNR8
"Wait. No. That's wrong. You're a bird!" She sounds excited, like she's made a huge discovery or something.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkEK65Qk1s
"So... I'm a bird now?" Seriously... She is the most adorable person I know.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHutn847ATx
"Okay, everyone is worried about me because they think you broke my heart or whatever. So, bird one is you. And everyone pities me because I'm single. So, being a pathetic loser is bird two."836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5aI7gezFu
I turn on my side to face her. "You are not a pathetic loser." Completely ignoring the fact she said I broke her heart.836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6oFa1fKcW
"I most certainly am. That's why I need this. If I can just throw the stone of our fake relationship at the birds, everything will be okay." Exhaustion fills her voice as she turns to face me. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMRXMyUlwN
I can't help but notice we are only inches apart. I can feel her breath on my face. If I leaned forward a fraction of an inch, our noses would be touching. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfJfCo5mZQ
Shit. This is bad. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZSFiNrNUm
Faking it is going to be so hard. 836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFg3nfinRU
"So... What do you say, Little Birdie? You in?" Her laugh echoing into the core of my being, reverberating and filling my chest.
I find her hand and pull it to my face, placing a kiss on it. "Let's throw that rock."836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOm8IVg3qsu
I am so fucked.
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