Kat696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Mw4ZnPvJC
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNouSZFwGN
January 1, 2005
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Same day
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696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUHh2pvcbi
"That's... not... I wasn't..." I try to explain, but now that the lust haze is gone, I am unable to rationalize my actions. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMooAxtE9Ui
Was that what I was doing? I wanted to stop thinking about everything and I figured with what I heard about Ben, he wouldn't complain. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WCliW11Jq
"Ugh... I'm such an idiot." I cover my face with my hands. I just want to get out of here. Laying next to him in my underwear after being rejected is so embarrassing. I need to leave.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwQxIEV1dL
He pulls my hands away from my face. His eyes meeting mine. "No, you aren't. You are just hurting."696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5z5g9Kwfvo
Is that it?696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDcLb2S1KM
When I caught him with that whore, I was almost relieved. Maybe I'm just not processing my emotions properly... 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqk5b6B54wC
I should be devastated. I mean, I am really upset, but I feel more like I'm mourning the life I lost, not the person. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZzwh6SigG
I think he wanted to get caught. He probably hoped I would join in or something.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIf8drvSr9
What a creep. How could I give so much to him? I cannot let myself get wrapped up in another man like that again. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXWaI1nFJX
I need to be strong. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxyvF7khEq
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2y3qQo9am
I need to be independent. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6WbyWWP4a
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4R8SZeuIhy
I need to make better choices. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLMOyPn3sK
I need to... not be here. Crap.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3R03cdWrZ8
Ben makes me feel weak and vulnerable.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rkFZe8ILa
But also powerful and wanted. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPVl2GcQ8B
Ugh... I am so confused. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpht5iV9mqU
I do know that hopping from one guy literally onto another is not a good choice.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBu6heDGbX
I also know that nothing casual can happen with my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. That would be all kinds of complicated. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJv9KRPaJqb
Hopefully I haven't made things too awkward. Oh god, what if they get married? I will have to see him all the time. I will be reminded of this night forever.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliDhVJdk9Y
He smirks, tucking my hair behind my ear. "There she is, the wheels are turning again." 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClJQapqHRJ
I can't help the laugh that bubbles up. I probably sound insane, but this night is all sorts of messed up. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvZgRcjieU
His face lights up and his dimples emerge. Crap. His smile turns my insides to jelly.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yCwWrl5Td
"Come on, Katarina, give the poor little hamster a break. Tell me your thoughts." He gives me a reassuring smile. I'm not sure I like him using my full name, it makes my heart flutter.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IZt7dxeho
"I think..." I need a light topic. I just want to ignore my problems. "I think this has been the weirdest night."696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZrxrdt7Po
He nods in agreement. "Weird good or weird bad?"696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85BNSQDRdk
"Hah... Both?" I wince, knowing he's going to prod for more and I don't want to go any deeper.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPR8xMZIs3
"I am going to have to agree with you." I was not expecting him to agree. "Although, I think yours had a bit more bad than mine." His hand caresses my cheek and I can't help but lean into his touch. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLQeHv1PWk
I am so weak. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaG77OP4KlT
"Hmm..." His touch is relaxing and I feel the day catching up with me. The emotions and tears taking their toll on my body. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBUfUHNT82
"You falling asleep on me, Kitty Kat?" I can hear the smile in his voice, but I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5amcCRnmlz
"I am not a cat." I say, as sternly as I can muster, but it comes out weak. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKuEzHCt2G
"Meow." He chuckles at his own joke.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWXPqdE7KL
"You are so not funny." I mumble.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0a4oqfCYy
"Oh come on. You're no fun." He tries to tease me, but he doesn't realize just how accurate he is. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuP9AlSQmO
Maybe if I were more fun, things would be different. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrFDV4tn6d
"If only you knew..." I snuggle into his hard chest, hoping he won't ask anymore questions. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sptI3SWKt
I know I should leave, but I just can't bring myself to part with him. I'm sure he's filling some void and I'm being pathetic, but he hasn't thrown me out yet.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2FmFU71wW
In fact, he pulls me tighter. Resting his face in my hair. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34g2srrb4p
"Don't worry, I will protect you." He whispers and as I drift off into oblivion, I actually believe him. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5wDmoxd7q
I awake to the sounds of muffled shouting. There is a heated argument somewhere nearby. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3yKVOfUk8
When I try to move, I bump something hard with my elbow and freeze. I hear a groan and feel the bed move slightly. I am not alone.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVkVqvDC3z
Oh no. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuYv37JWpv
What did I do? 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91cJ8yQ6uK
Scanning the room, I realize I have no idea where I am or who could be behind me.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCul24Do1c
Unless Vanessa is having a really rough morning, that was definitely too deep to be her voice.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClYbUTaQlr
Crap. I am too afraid to look, who could it be? Bits and pieces from the night come to me, but not enough to piece together anything solid.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZrYU3sPHi
I remember crying at some point.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjpvUi99Wg
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIp6x9hYQUg
I remember drinking more than I should have.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xeeYx8ulS
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I remember Vanessa being her usual self. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrADpNp3wAn
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I remember her new boy toy stuck to her side. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUAGeHA5yj
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9AyOexiSI
And I remember... Uh oh. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhauDyjef3
It couldn't be... I wouldn't... Would I?696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwJBcDEaq4
Am I really asking myself this after waking up next to some random guy? Well, maybe not so random...696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJddgKfP4og
Oh god, this is all sorts of complicated. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2aqJDHnkb
Okay, I just have to know... I try to roll over gently, without disturbing him. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlFevHaJDB
I find a pair of amused green eyes staring back at me. A gorgeous grin with dimples on his stupid perfect face. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjDvo61Uo4
Crap. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBHDx6zcX8
I know I'm blushing hard, I can literally feel my face burning. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6e1TUqdF5V
How did this happen?696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSx5AwBSR9j
"You done freaking out yet?" He asks with a chuckle. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZWCcloCnY
Is he... laughing at me? 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNWNM1w0H6
"Uh..." And just like that, he has short circuited the connection between my brain and mouth. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFw5xzxAZFp
"Don't panic." He talks softly, like I am some wild animal that might bite him.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07ttazrRN9
I am totally panicking. I just can't decide if I want to run out of the room or stay and figure out what exactly happened. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOymI4uLsCG
My curiosity wins, just barely. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGFPIgVoPF
"Nothing happened." I must look really confused, because he feels the need to explain further. "We didn't have sex."696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZKSH8bx5l
"Oh..." I'm not sure if I should be relieved or hurt that he was naked laying next to me.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OuQtwzBjZ
Nope. Not letting my mind go there.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHvjhD9KVf
I choose to feel relief. I wouldn't have remembered it anyway. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTCJ8l3Gc1
"Not for lack of you trying, of course." He flashes a cocky smirk at me. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0TOoDTj50
I feel a frown tugging at the corners of my mouth, despite my attempt to keep my face neutral. No, I didn't throw myself at him, did I? 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmWpaEj45H
I vaguely remember waking up and thinking I heard my name through the wall and then... 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIU2eIp2Am
"No way... I... Oh god!" My eyes pop open so wide, they begin to hurt.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAIe7Rl9Re
Crap. Did I really climb on top of him? Yep, I was totally grinding on him.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ftjNQHbKA
I gasp, my gaze running down his body before I can stop myself. I take in his muscles, but his bottom half is covered in a sheet. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqO5Z1M9TJY
His eyes meet mine. "Reminiscing?" 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrrsbI8wo7
"What! No!" My voice is too high and rushed to be convincing. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK93qLIU2Xz
I remember licking his defined chest.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuDYt1sB0G
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjaa10JCkh
I remember... 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLU5st36Dr4
he was naked!696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQnkCBH6U4
I inwardly groan. I totally touched him. I know how big he is and... 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVkwYMT7WE
Oh god! I know how he tastes. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tRXs1ANJd
"Shit." I know it's inelegant, but I can't think of anything else to say.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOxahR3QHu
His mouth pops open as his face twists in shock. "Did you just... I can't believe you just said shit!" 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9c2CT0QHbq
"What? Why not?" I sit up, feeling defensive. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3mzYh1702
Why is he so shocked? He barely knows me. Why does he assume this? Did I say something weird last night?696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEQBWDt2gb
"You seemed kinda offended when I cussed, so I guess I just assumed..." He looks shy, almost like he was caught doing something wrong.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNI8QXjxgE
"Based on?" Sure, I don't make a habit of using curse words, but it's more an ingrained reflex than an actual choice. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhLihTVgKz
He hesitates, like he's afraid to say and I begin to feel slightly nervous. Crap, what did I say?696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9VBMhyI9a
"You... uh... kinda flinched." He blushes and looks around the room. Insecure Ben is totally adorable. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuoy3Jpf0F
"Oh." I'm honestly not sure how to respond because I definitely can't tell him the truth. "Well, I wasn't offended."696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8vXhcmr9k
"Okay." He blows out a breath, looking up at the ceiling. "If you say so." 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcbGLEgvS8
He looks completely unconvinced but I can't give him more than that. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbEB68RkwD
"So." He clears his throat. "Not to be totally awkward here..." His gaze drops to the tent of his crotch before his eyes scan the floor. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopQfkPz1c7
"And not that I would mind laying in bed with you all day." He looks down my body and winks. "But, maybe we should get dressed?"696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatxsTXP6uM
I look down at myself, just now realizing I'm sitting here in lacy underwear. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnjZMKps2L
When I don't respond, Ben flashes his smile. "Or not, I mean you look great." 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSz2ERUvBwR
I am unable to hide the look of shock on my face before I snatch the sheet to cover myself. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTtocQPwtJ
Which is no longer covering "Little Ben", if you can even call it that.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzILdKxcQuL
Oops.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhQoIZahco
Of course that would happen to me! I take a moment to look at it in the daylight and wow, it's like a sculpture. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJeYroIZ6W2
Unable to stop myself, I have apparently lost my filter completely around this man. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOQyBw8i3J
"Well hello, Big Ben." I try not to giggle like an immature school girl, but Ben's laugh makes me laugh harder. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWx7r3fYmP
"Big Ben, huh?" He grins, making my stomach flutter. He shakes his head, amused. "What am I going to do with you?"696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRxEOmFT9b
My mouth goes dry as my mind conjures up all kinds of things he could do to me. It feels like all the air was sucked out of the room as I struggle to control my breathing. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mvPte6e9e
My gaze returns to "Big Ben", as it seems to grow, straining to reach me. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6kP56XgFS
Prying my eyes away, I meet his green gaze. He's no longer grinning or teasing, in fact, it looks like he's in pain. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeposVASmL
"So, you like what you see?" His eyes never leaving mine. I try to close my mouth and steady my breathing. I need to keep my composure, but my head nods without my approval. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMHjrZfWoU
I lick my lips, remembering last night. I can't get my mouth to form words.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABsE0Bn1Pi
"Because I wouldn't mind seeing a little more." He reaches forward, tugging down the sheet. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr09WuqR0sH
He sucks in a breath. "Fuck, Kat."696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzAef6OsqN
I close my eyes, my insides turning to liquid fire. I love his cussing, like he can't control himself. Maybe it's because of my background and it makes him seem like such a bad boy, but it turns me on, like crazy.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNiuE2Q79c
He caresses my breasts through the sheer fabric. "God damn, you are beautiful." 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiCllfBPke
I absorb his words as another wave of lust hits me. I know this is a bad idea. I know we should not be doing this, but I'm not sure I could stop it, even if I wanted to. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PRNlU1TwG
His hands move down my body as his mouth meets mine. His kiss is hungry and desperate and I can't get enough. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSsdFjcJ9d
His hand grazes me where I'm aching and I nearly explode. I need him. Now. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMPygPu98D
"Do you have a condom?" He has to have one in here somewhere, right?696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAPEtObM5T
He blushes and looks slightly uncomfortable. "Actually..." We both freeze as the sound of yelling grows closer. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYotgdyc9q6
I pull the sheet up to cover myself just as the door bursts open. All I see Vanessa's fiery hair flying around as she takes the scene before her. "What the fucking fuck is fucking going on in here?" 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9bPtDQsg6
I know her well enough to know when she can't think, she drops f-bombs. Her gaze drops to Ben's crotch, before he grabs a corner of the sheet to cover himself. 696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqu4khDQRko
I can't help the laughter that bursts out of me at the sight of her craziness. "Calm yourself, Vanessa."
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