Kat682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3G4yhWXxym
682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEcZuUpc43
January 1, 2005
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Same day
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682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcGh1BaKPg
"That's... not... I wasn't..." I try to explain, but now that the lust haze is gone, I am unable to rationalize my actions. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpPxYaLrdP
Was that what I was doing? I wanted to stop thinking about everything and I figured with what I heard about Ben, he wouldn't complain. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mQOUxr6BM
"Ugh... I'm such an idiot." I cover my face with my hands. I just want to get out of here. Laying next to him in my underwear after being rejected is so embarrassing. I need to leave.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKWQ2TiRI2
He pulls my hands away from my face. His eyes meeting mine. "No, you aren't. You are just hurting."682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AsZcJBq1p
Is that it?682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPNAZHMYbw
When I caught him with that whore, I was almost relieved. Maybe I'm just not processing my emotions properly... 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcz6E3KYBqw
I should be devastated. I mean, I am really upset, but I feel more like I'm mourning the life I lost, not the person. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PVvRa0uvo
I think he wanted to get caught. He probably hoped I would join in or something.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFA4Rors1ts
What a creep. How could I give so much to him? I cannot let myself get wrapped up in another man like that again. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlvYoUA60t
I need to be strong. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJE19piX8Ye
682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvCfZS0Vbw
I need to be independent. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jEQz2n67v
682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqxLpbI5DD
I need to make better choices. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveObj9SWhV
I need to... not be here. Crap.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS77xXf5X1V
Ben makes me feel weak and vulnerable.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITx4kO45id
But also powerful and wanted. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShTIrmIzPl
Ugh... I am so confused. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CafX4TUEB
I do know that hopping from one guy literally onto another is not a good choice.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnavRPUxny
I also know that nothing casual can happen with my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. That would be all kinds of complicated. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LvCCbsJWq
Hopefully I haven't made things too awkward. Oh god, what if they get married? I will have to see him all the time. I will be reminded of this night forever.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvADNIYGJs
He smirks, tucking my hair behind my ear. "There she is, the wheels are turning again." 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLuyutVHRX
I can't help the laugh that bubbles up. I probably sound insane, but this night is all sorts of messed up. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VZ9HV0XrD
His face lights up and his dimples emerge. Crap. His smile turns my insides to jelly.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyv2206kKeg
"Come on, Katarina, give the poor little hamster a break. Tell me your thoughts." He gives me a reassuring smile. I'm not sure I like him using my full name, it makes my heart flutter.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5latnb9pAO
"I think..." I need a light topic. I just want to ignore my problems. "I think this has been the weirdest night."682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3q3aWkXjjv
He nods in agreement. "Weird good or weird bad?"682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFfsw4JVho
"Hah... Both?" I wince, knowing he's going to prod for more and I don't want to go any deeper.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRy0776vBjN
"I am going to have to agree with you." I was not expecting him to agree. "Although, I think yours had a bit more bad than mine." His hand caresses my cheek and I can't help but lean into his touch. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhpALxojaF
I am so weak. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlCbhjM6uV
"Hmm..." His touch is relaxing and I feel the day catching up with me. The emotions and tears taking their toll on my body. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qCFUsn7SO
"You falling asleep on me, Kitty Kat?" I can hear the smile in his voice, but I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVTAjTbPJd
"I am not a cat." I say, as sternly as I can muster, but it comes out weak. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn21XmpFtzZ
"Meow." He chuckles at his own joke.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoK5gvrwWOR
"You are so not funny." I mumble.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgucoDSmQRX
"Oh come on. You're no fun." He tries to tease me, but he doesn't realize just how accurate he is. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxWXDQOcrC
Maybe if I were more fun, things would be different. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBje4GXemt
"If only you knew..." I snuggle into his hard chest, hoping he won't ask anymore questions. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OXxeXPaBc
I know I should leave, but I just can't bring myself to part with him. I'm sure he's filling some void and I'm being pathetic, but he hasn't thrown me out yet.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdeRhhJVhG8
In fact, he pulls me tighter. Resting his face in my hair. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsJQbA41A9
"Don't worry, I will protect you." He whispers and as I drift off into oblivion, I actually believe him. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcBB1WwPV2
I awake to the sounds of muffled shouting. There is a heated argument somewhere nearby. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUojaslDCHr
When I try to move, I bump something hard with my elbow and freeze. I hear a groan and feel the bed move slightly. I am not alone.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGrsPEohNm
Oh no. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveWoZDSPuf
What did I do? 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBWAbuqgoK
Scanning the room, I realize I have no idea where I am or who could be behind me.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dJSSY9qaH
Unless Vanessa is having a really rough morning, that was definitely too deep to be her voice.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAZCdx8Bf4
Crap. I am too afraid to look, who could it be? Bits and pieces from the night come to me, but not enough to piece together anything solid.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4svmnBcxeO
I remember crying at some point.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSUqm4jSof
682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tOLDhx2eh
I remember drinking more than I should have.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xHHDVnxFs
682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0r68pwZTE
I remember Vanessa being her usual self. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBDToUNxJC
682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmihILtGZQ
I remember her new boy toy stuck to her side. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kcoHRtdCx
682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjd9uoTRgw
And I remember... Uh oh. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIdovsIQxt
It couldn't be... I wouldn't... Would I?682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLYj0OHPGD
Am I really asking myself this after waking up next to some random guy? Well, maybe not so random...682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSivlyJbB0
Oh god, this is all sorts of complicated. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdLnxpljXX
Okay, I just have to know... I try to roll over gently, without disturbing him. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyD9rDHqq5
I find a pair of amused green eyes staring back at me. A gorgeous grin with dimples on his stupid perfect face. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNsrc5iX6a
Crap. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDqDcn4T5w
I know I'm blushing hard, I can literally feel my face burning. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFaiyyzUeB
How did this happen?682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvwdPvuWtw
"You done freaking out yet?" He asks with a chuckle. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiftQOweIx
Is he... laughing at me? 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHvzu1ogjp
"Uh..." And just like that, he has short circuited the connection between my brain and mouth. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwodpSvZt8
"Don't panic." He talks softly, like I am some wild animal that might bite him.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxA4qbF0o9
I am totally panicking. I just can't decide if I want to run out of the room or stay and figure out what exactly happened. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9NpD5U9PV
My curiosity wins, just barely. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dk8YsDrWi
"Nothing happened." I must look really confused, because he feels the need to explain further. "We didn't have sex."682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShykbUMAAa
"Oh..." I'm not sure if I should be relieved or hurt that he was naked laying next to me.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUrMAxoq3q
Nope. Not letting my mind go there.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKdU7rb0Ph
I choose to feel relief. I wouldn't have remembered it anyway. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOCRoWg7qE
"Not for lack of you trying, of course." He flashes a cocky smirk at me. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4acj11Jgu
I feel a frown tugging at the corners of my mouth, despite my attempt to keep my face neutral. No, I didn't throw myself at him, did I? 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDNF10CUkK
I vaguely remember waking up and thinking I heard my name through the wall and then... 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDW7iefZQY
"No way... I... Oh god!" My eyes pop open so wide, they begin to hurt.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkw5qLrehid
Crap. Did I really climb on top of him? Yep, I was totally grinding on him.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0BU5cIYw6
I gasp, my gaze running down his body before I can stop myself. I take in his muscles, but his bottom half is covered in a sheet. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25ab6VjKZH
His eyes meet mine. "Reminiscing?" 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgx7F3t3d0
"What! No!" My voice is too high and rushed to be convincing. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiN98xFrLo
I remember licking his defined chest.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkEqJRRSb1
682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphGOXm4G7a
I remember... 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNePJ9TTEcg
he was naked!682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcbswSUzVC
I inwardly groan. I totally touched him. I know how big he is and... 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8JZHaFAk5
Oh god! I know how he tastes. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8LQNAMjTm
"Shit." I know it's inelegant, but I can't think of anything else to say.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsOiukS4P2
His mouth pops open as his face twists in shock. "Did you just... I can't believe you just said shit!" 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNt1nwnDpe
"What? Why not?" I sit up, feeling defensive. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqPmogfCXR
Why is he so shocked? He barely knows me. Why does he assume this? Did I say something weird last night?682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1Fb86D6XP
"You seemed kinda offended when I cussed, so I guess I just assumed..." He looks shy, almost like he was caught doing something wrong.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVs26sE4Kx
"Based on?" Sure, I don't make a habit of using curse words, but it's more an ingrained reflex than an actual choice. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRYq7m1yQ7
He hesitates, like he's afraid to say and I begin to feel slightly nervous. Crap, what did I say?682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiMGBfe42h
"You... uh... kinda flinched." He blushes and looks around the room. Insecure Ben is totally adorable. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2jp04UXyz
"Oh." I'm honestly not sure how to respond because I definitely can't tell him the truth. "Well, I wasn't offended."682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Xsrm8Qi8x
"Okay." He blows out a breath, looking up at the ceiling. "If you say so." 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FQMejmnBR
He looks completely unconvinced but I can't give him more than that. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuil52oaWk4
"So." He clears his throat. "Not to be totally awkward here..." His gaze drops to the tent of his crotch before his eyes scan the floor. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6TjzbdhFD
"And not that I would mind laying in bed with you all day." He looks down my body and winks. "But, maybe we should get dressed?"682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EDM5J1Htf
I look down at myself, just now realizing I'm sitting here in lacy underwear. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFs39iV8tuW
When I don't respond, Ben flashes his smile. "Or not, I mean you look great." 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcba26yJvy
I am unable to hide the look of shock on my face before I snatch the sheet to cover myself. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9OyJo5IyO
Which is no longer covering "Little Ben", if you can even call it that.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWiu5EoANT
Oops.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBJI8R6Qe7
Of course that would happen to me! I take a moment to look at it in the daylight and wow, it's like a sculpture. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcl9JdD7sex
Unable to stop myself, I have apparently lost my filter completely around this man. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVQFPxYXNh
"Well hello, Big Ben." I try not to giggle like an immature school girl, but Ben's laugh makes me laugh harder. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zLGhL5ViA
"Big Ben, huh?" He grins, making my stomach flutter. He shakes his head, amused. "What am I going to do with you?"682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PV4Do6u8t
My mouth goes dry as my mind conjures up all kinds of things he could do to me. It feels like all the air was sucked out of the room as I struggle to control my breathing. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyCcy19PpA
My gaze returns to "Big Ben", as it seems to grow, straining to reach me. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZ1izqgIgk
Prying my eyes away, I meet his green gaze. He's no longer grinning or teasing, in fact, it looks like he's in pain. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzo4VkbkKBU
"So, you like what you see?" His eyes never leaving mine. I try to close my mouth and steady my breathing. I need to keep my composure, but my head nods without my approval. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30PO0fP7Wi
I lick my lips, remembering last night. I can't get my mouth to form words.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9R2HnoeP6F
"Because I wouldn't mind seeing a little more." He reaches forward, tugging down the sheet. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYv8n7o9t6O
He sucks in a breath. "Fuck, Kat."682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIQzUzXf4T
I close my eyes, my insides turning to liquid fire. I love his cussing, like he can't control himself. Maybe it's because of my background and it makes him seem like such a bad boy, but it turns me on, like crazy.682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvpjgAC0Rs
He caresses my breasts through the sheer fabric. "God damn, you are beautiful." 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrrasVoeJ7
I absorb his words as another wave of lust hits me. I know this is a bad idea. I know we should not be doing this, but I'm not sure I could stop it, even if I wanted to. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wL5K9Ks5g
His hands move down my body as his mouth meets mine. His kiss is hungry and desperate and I can't get enough. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0Nywc5yNM
His hand grazes me where I'm aching and I nearly explode. I need him. Now. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs38dm5SDRz
"Do you have a condom?" He has to have one in here somewhere, right?682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu956AaBbGk
He blushes and looks slightly uncomfortable. "Actually..." We both freeze as the sound of yelling grows closer. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmmRpPAwBo
I pull the sheet up to cover myself just as the door bursts open. All I see Vanessa's fiery hair flying around as she takes the scene before her. "What the fucking fuck is fucking going on in here?" 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpvd7mU5kI
I know her well enough to know when she can't think, she drops f-bombs. Her gaze drops to Ben's crotch, before he grabs a corner of the sheet to cover himself. 682Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6dvpOkopD
I can't help the laughter that bursts out of me at the sight of her craziness. "Calm yourself, Vanessa."
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