Kat644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoZ9T4RXai
644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTiEXH1bkN
January 1, 2005
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Same day
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644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqJpCFTRAm
"That's... not... I wasn't..." I try to explain, but now that the lust haze is gone, I am unable to rationalize my actions. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQL05tBvHR
Was that what I was doing? I wanted to stop thinking about everything and I figured with what I heard about Ben, he wouldn't complain. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9j7S3BUSP1
"Ugh... I'm such an idiot." I cover my face with my hands. I just want to get out of here. Laying next to him in my underwear after being rejected is so embarrassing. I need to leave.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmHZcNMQYZ
He pulls my hands away from my face. His eyes meeting mine. "No, you aren't. You are just hurting."644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImTdV8YDpY
Is that it?644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJU8XxReTo1
When I caught him with that whore, I was almost relieved. Maybe I'm just not processing my emotions properly... 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7Tt0R8GzK
I should be devastated. I mean, I am really upset, but I feel more like I'm mourning the life I lost, not the person. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TkcoQA35U
I think he wanted to get caught. He probably hoped I would join in or something.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTsswnp2CN
What a creep. How could I give so much to him? I cannot let myself get wrapped up in another man like that again. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lSLCX75ja
I need to be strong. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXJ58ncs6q
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I need to be independent. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHCXvgEUg0
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I need to make better choices. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyz7L37wzhm
I need to... not be here. Crap.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wVLW0Zwvh
Ben makes me feel weak and vulnerable.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ogvm3YW8Q
But also powerful and wanted. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnZXaRInYO
Ugh... I am so confused. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiwlu7xw9K
I do know that hopping from one guy literally onto another is not a good choice.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcGInodPwO
I also know that nothing casual can happen with my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. That would be all kinds of complicated. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3mNCHlaFx
Hopefully I haven't made things too awkward. Oh god, what if they get married? I will have to see him all the time. I will be reminded of this night forever.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6U0Fzfz8t6
He smirks, tucking my hair behind my ear. "There she is, the wheels are turning again." 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4sCSve4EU
I can't help the laugh that bubbles up. I probably sound insane, but this night is all sorts of messed up. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgv6VYSUmGC
His face lights up and his dimples emerge. Crap. His smile turns my insides to jelly.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFtQIbueZq
"Come on, Katarina, give the poor little hamster a break. Tell me your thoughts." He gives me a reassuring smile. I'm not sure I like him using my full name, it makes my heart flutter.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigD2rwhKWd
"I think..." I need a light topic. I just want to ignore my problems. "I think this has been the weirdest night."644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ox0M9G00W
He nods in agreement. "Weird good or weird bad?"644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BMkggp13y
"Hah... Both?" I wince, knowing he's going to prod for more and I don't want to go any deeper.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEQnFeCVIi
"I am going to have to agree with you." I was not expecting him to agree. "Although, I think yours had a bit more bad than mine." His hand caresses my cheek and I can't help but lean into his touch. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbPwtyRNwv
I am so weak. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2bgI8FS3e
"Hmm..." His touch is relaxing and I feel the day catching up with me. The emotions and tears taking their toll on my body. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjMP1v4dEN
"You falling asleep on me, Kitty Kat?" I can hear the smile in his voice, but I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WkRMAgNQd
"I am not a cat." I say, as sternly as I can muster, but it comes out weak. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKvS85VKlb
"Meow." He chuckles at his own joke.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmi7ZbBl1Rp
"You are so not funny." I mumble.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChFDOSx8nY
"Oh come on. You're no fun." He tries to tease me, but he doesn't realize just how accurate he is. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSc6ZAuaZ1t
Maybe if I were more fun, things would be different. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqC2BzVQJQD
"If only you knew..." I snuggle into his hard chest, hoping he won't ask anymore questions. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTGKBtT0nw
I know I should leave, but I just can't bring myself to part with him. I'm sure he's filling some void and I'm being pathetic, but he hasn't thrown me out yet.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGet9lq1MK9
In fact, he pulls me tighter. Resting his face in my hair. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSYKCitKWp
"Don't worry, I will protect you." He whispers and as I drift off into oblivion, I actually believe him. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHR5Rcm5huZ
I awake to the sounds of muffled shouting. There is a heated argument somewhere nearby. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiug4jtu4JP
When I try to move, I bump something hard with my elbow and freeze. I hear a groan and feel the bed move slightly. I am not alone.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJEcxAduyw
Oh no. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilnZFim8OH
What did I do? 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tLNUGmpEx
Scanning the room, I realize I have no idea where I am or who could be behind me.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCXF13uWiV
Unless Vanessa is having a really rough morning, that was definitely too deep to be her voice.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0BWq7FjLJ
Crap. I am too afraid to look, who could it be? Bits and pieces from the night come to me, but not enough to piece together anything solid.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWL6rLXBtBE
I remember crying at some point.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUN7ObSsPi9
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I remember drinking more than I should have.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡID5UvhsyHF
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I remember Vanessa being her usual self. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxC8FBktUT
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I remember her new boy toy stuck to her side. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCemiSR0w79
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And I remember... Uh oh. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqomIpqGtpj
It couldn't be... I wouldn't... Would I?644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OxDNX2kfy
Am I really asking myself this after waking up next to some random guy? Well, maybe not so random...644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6B5qqWDOH
Oh god, this is all sorts of complicated. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRu4jmZmOS
Okay, I just have to know... I try to roll over gently, without disturbing him. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUHSHl9Qcu
I find a pair of amused green eyes staring back at me. A gorgeous grin with dimples on his stupid perfect face. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zVmjtqHnF
Crap. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeoZNotrp0
I know I'm blushing hard, I can literally feel my face burning. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjCNLd4UYo
How did this happen?644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDEdmaTYUV
"You done freaking out yet?" He asks with a chuckle. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduxyc5XmQ1
Is he... laughing at me? 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvHcYNAvas
"Uh..." And just like that, he has short circuited the connection between my brain and mouth. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCJC6uwgRh
"Don't panic." He talks softly, like I am some wild animal that might bite him.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSSLbOazKg
I am totally panicking. I just can't decide if I want to run out of the room or stay and figure out what exactly happened. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNmpQAyp3w
My curiosity wins, just barely. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXJRx7f7WX
"Nothing happened." I must look really confused, because he feels the need to explain further. "We didn't have sex."644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqWVfxt5CA
"Oh..." I'm not sure if I should be relieved or hurt that he was naked laying next to me.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4Xfe7mN0m
Nope. Not letting my mind go there.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FPf0KaAkq
I choose to feel relief. I wouldn't have remembered it anyway. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBgd6hTHCa
"Not for lack of you trying, of course." He flashes a cocky smirk at me. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMCrd8OmVL
I feel a frown tugging at the corners of my mouth, despite my attempt to keep my face neutral. No, I didn't throw myself at him, did I? 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLjMHd2kIv
I vaguely remember waking up and thinking I heard my name through the wall and then... 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLP4FhS0yFU
"No way... I... Oh god!" My eyes pop open so wide, they begin to hurt.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKx89m35t2
Crap. Did I really climb on top of him? Yep, I was totally grinding on him.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy33JJhCzOE
I gasp, my gaze running down his body before I can stop myself. I take in his muscles, but his bottom half is covered in a sheet. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUFPbdyk5b
His eyes meet mine. "Reminiscing?" 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndx1chHyER
"What! No!" My voice is too high and rushed to be convincing. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtApqyvXcvo
I remember licking his defined chest.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAws2Yatwep
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I remember... 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPhz1aUrOy
he was naked!644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlrI7Km4LK
I inwardly groan. I totally touched him. I know how big he is and... 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1p4jqrV7je
Oh god! I know how he tastes. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexvW6UD76V
"Shit." I know it's inelegant, but I can't think of anything else to say.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8ICfyLGdi
His mouth pops open as his face twists in shock. "Did you just... I can't believe you just said shit!" 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ECY5x5Fns
"What? Why not?" I sit up, feeling defensive. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaKJOuyVxT
Why is he so shocked? He barely knows me. Why does he assume this? Did I say something weird last night?644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjBU9iZx3O
"You seemed kinda offended when I cussed, so I guess I just assumed..." He looks shy, almost like he was caught doing something wrong.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEhxrIK6WP
"Based on?" Sure, I don't make a habit of using curse words, but it's more an ingrained reflex than an actual choice. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnlHiJ7Sbl
He hesitates, like he's afraid to say and I begin to feel slightly nervous. Crap, what did I say?644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKenmFwDb4
"You... uh... kinda flinched." He blushes and looks around the room. Insecure Ben is totally adorable. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWddDeqImf
"Oh." I'm honestly not sure how to respond because I definitely can't tell him the truth. "Well, I wasn't offended."644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyb8h7jMkF
"Okay." He blows out a breath, looking up at the ceiling. "If you say so." 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzFpeb1Hij
He looks completely unconvinced but I can't give him more than that. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE90p4sR3lX
"So." He clears his throat. "Not to be totally awkward here..." His gaze drops to the tent of his crotch before his eyes scan the floor. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnchDSDN4kL
"And not that I would mind laying in bed with you all day." He looks down my body and winks. "But, maybe we should get dressed?"644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQlWIxrYsr
I look down at myself, just now realizing I'm sitting here in lacy underwear. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zGpCZDr28
When I don't respond, Ben flashes his smile. "Or not, I mean you look great." 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEOMY5Pft6
I am unable to hide the look of shock on my face before I snatch the sheet to cover myself. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iNu5fmyJY
Which is no longer covering "Little Ben", if you can even call it that.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSawD4WEQLp
Oops.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPtkHORpoX
Of course that would happen to me! I take a moment to look at it in the daylight and wow, it's like a sculpture. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjt18jqKFO
Unable to stop myself, I have apparently lost my filter completely around this man. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0qqVii61l
"Well hello, Big Ben." I try not to giggle like an immature school girl, but Ben's laugh makes me laugh harder. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡighRxT11Jk
"Big Ben, huh?" He grins, making my stomach flutter. He shakes his head, amused. "What am I going to do with you?"644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQ266Wvq73
My mouth goes dry as my mind conjures up all kinds of things he could do to me. It feels like all the air was sucked out of the room as I struggle to control my breathing. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWKqFjchJg
My gaze returns to "Big Ben", as it seems to grow, straining to reach me. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2iZW3Ii28
Prying my eyes away, I meet his green gaze. He's no longer grinning or teasing, in fact, it looks like he's in pain. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNn8gmqVgtt
"So, you like what you see?" His eyes never leaving mine. I try to close my mouth and steady my breathing. I need to keep my composure, but my head nods without my approval. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mgtq8VzhQ
I lick my lips, remembering last night. I can't get my mouth to form words.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmGg0Wsdjt
"Because I wouldn't mind seeing a little more." He reaches forward, tugging down the sheet. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghSlh1UXnt
He sucks in a breath. "Fuck, Kat."644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXW5S70gv3H
I close my eyes, my insides turning to liquid fire. I love his cussing, like he can't control himself. Maybe it's because of my background and it makes him seem like such a bad boy, but it turns me on, like crazy.644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMqfHIhZx4
He caresses my breasts through the sheer fabric. "God damn, you are beautiful." 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUctHM75uHu
I absorb his words as another wave of lust hits me. I know this is a bad idea. I know we should not be doing this, but I'm not sure I could stop it, even if I wanted to. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kmBx4VUHW
His hands move down my body as his mouth meets mine. His kiss is hungry and desperate and I can't get enough. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszZOwhtmn5
His hand grazes me where I'm aching and I nearly explode. I need him. Now. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJvKz7Z1z7
"Do you have a condom?" He has to have one in here somewhere, right?644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvynttLYYn
He blushes and looks slightly uncomfortable. "Actually..." We both freeze as the sound of yelling grows closer. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBsQrIKken
I pull the sheet up to cover myself just as the door bursts open. All I see Vanessa's fiery hair flying around as she takes the scene before her. "What the fucking fuck is fucking going on in here?" 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPOsXBlj0O
I know her well enough to know when she can't think, she drops f-bombs. Her gaze drops to Ben's crotch, before he grabs a corner of the sheet to cover himself. 644Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4C1HxIgHF
I can't help the laughter that bursts out of me at the sight of her craziness. "Calm yourself, Vanessa."
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